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Posted: **August 5th, 2015, 10:22 am**

Doram wrote:Sure.

true proof of adulthood: deliberate literal parsing

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 8:26 am**

Awards Post
Ok. It's time. We talked about it, and the vast majority of you daid that you didn't care if my scores were the only ones, and a few of you just want it over already, so here we go! (...also skipping drama due to large amounts of meh floating around...)

1st Place: Team Red!

2nd Place: Team Magma!

3rd Place: Team Dark!

4th Place: Crystal Clods!

5th Place: Team Super!

A number of you wanted to see all the quotes, so, here they all are, in order of best to worst: show

=== SCREENSHOT 1: Super Mario 64 ===
	Team Magma: After years of separation, Mario and Chompy are finally reunited. Mario was promptly mauled.
	Red Team: In a desperate attempt to avoid being associated with IGN, Mario looks for the easiest way to end it all.
	Team Super: Mario suddenly realizes that healing over Chain Chomp was a huge mistake. His knee is swollen ... this doesn't look good.
	Crystal Clods: The new Dentist Mario game gets up close and personal with its patients.
	Team Dark: Let me take a look at your cavities.
=== SCREENSHOT 2: The Legend of Zelda - Skyward Sword ===
	Team Dark: I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST!
	Team Magma: The story of a one-sided relationship where a goblin just can't seem to form a link between himself and another man, coming to theatres this fall, "Hyea ha Hueh."
	Crystal Clods: Link suddenly regrets voting yes on Bill 42, which authorizes the use of force to collect interest on loans.
	Red Team: Link was lucky that the game's poor motion controls didn't extend to his body too.
	Team Super: "Hey! You gotta pay me for these posts!" - "uh oh, gotta go fast..."
=== SCREENSHOT 3: Portal 2 ===
	Red Team: "Finally! After 50 tries we finally got the cube where we need it. Now just don't push that bu-"
	Team Magma: "Thank you for pressing the self destruct button"
	Team Super: At this point P-Body's just wondering how much he can sell the "Days Since a Nuclear Holocaust" sign for.
	Crystal Clods: If pushing the button gives you a million dollars, but at the cost of a random robot's life somewhere to the left of you, would you do it? Yes. For science. You monster.
	Team Dark: Atlas I swear to ♥♥♥♥ if you press that button I will hurt you
=== SCREENSHOT 4: Sonic Lost World (Zelda DLC) ===
	Team Super: "This is nice and all, but it's nowhere near as cool as all the chaos emeralds I found in the pots around here!"
	Red Team: Man! All it took to obtain the complete power of the gods was several blocks of download space!
	Crystal Clods: It's dangerous to go fast alone..
	Team Dark: Now I can wish for Sonic Boom to have never happened!
	Team Magma: The Triforce still isn't going to fix a lopsided mouth.
=== SCREENSHOT 5: Minecraft ===
	Team Dark: Cool house, bro.
	Red Team: I don't care about dying now, how long is this lag spike gonna be?
	Team Magma: "Group hug, everyone!"
	Crystal Clods: Transmute wheat seeds into creeper seeds, they said. Infinite gunpowder, they said. It'll be a blast, they said. They weren't wrong.
	Team Super: Can't tell if a crowd of creepers or the street of Colorado
=== SCREENSHOT 6: Pokkén Tournament ===
	Team Dark: You know, I feel like there's a pretty big strength gap here...
	Team Magma: "I don't care if Water's weak to Electric, my Suicune's thirty ♥♥♥♥ levels higher."
	Red Team: Suicune, forgetting what "type advantages" were, soon regretted his decision.
	Crystal Clods: Matched with an opponent of legendary strength, Pikachu contemplates Suicune-cide to preserve his Trainer's honor.
	Team Super: Suicune uses super awesome destructive destroyer charge, but unfortunately his trainer has failed to consider type effectiveness.
=== SCREENSHOT 7: Super Mario 64 (Corrupted) ===
	Red Team: Mario's curiosity of what Luigi's "Shroomiliation" game was all about quickly came to an end.
	Team Magma: The Triforce still isn't going to fix that, either.
	Crystal Clods: Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline.
	Team Super: Mario.exe has encountered a serious error. Now Mario is transformed into a toy plane ... Bowser's gonna be amused next time he visits the toy store.
	Team Dark: bruh i'm so high rn

How I scored: show

I literally ranked these according to how hard I laughed or WTFed when I first read them all together. After that, I just numbered them 1 to 5, and added it all up (NOW we're playing Golf. Lowest wins.) It looked like this:

red 2 4 1 2 2 3 1 (15)
blue 1 2 2 5 3 2 2 (17)
black 5 1 5 4 1 1 5(22)
green 4 3 4 3 4 4 3 (25)
yellow 3 5 3 1 5 5 4 (26)

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 8:29 am**

Yay!

Red Team IS THE BEST!

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 8:29 am**

uuuuuuuuuh that's bitter

but wait we'll hit back in SM63

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 8:32 am**

Calm down, I'm pretty sure I won the sm63 contest

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 8:33 am**

Bye lead, it was fun while it lasted

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 8:41 am**

Woo 3rd place is actually pretty good :awe:

Well done Team Dark!

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 8:42 am**

Well, if we're playing golf like you said, Green is winning RO with a total of 6 points :DDD

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 10:15 am**

Yay!

I'm glad I could help contribute to the team. GOOD JOB GUYS

Posted: **August 29th, 2015, 10:17 am**

maxie is watching over us

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