- This post by ~MP3 Amplifier~ was thumbed up by: 2
- Killswitch (March 13th, 2012, 1:12 am) • Nwolf (March 12th, 2012, 1:00 pm)
An apology...
An apology...
Thumbs up x2 
by ~MP3 Amplifier~ » March 12th, 2012, 12:53 pm
Look...
Everytime I go on chat questions are thrown at me such as "are you and Aze really in a relationship?" and then people think about Link and probably assume I'm cheating on him, and that I'm a horrible ♥♥♥♥♥.
But that's not true.
I know Link made some sort of topic about me, if not a topic, then a big chat poll or something similar about people's thoughts about me & Aze, which was no need for as I was stressed enough yesterday because of things like these.. 
But it's not as simple as saying that I apparently "dropped Link so I could go out with Aze" because that's not what happened. There are small details that no-one knows of except myself, Link & Aze. In fact, I know there are people around like Tsu who seemed to have lost respect for me after this, but who would blame him? He heard this whole thing from XNR3 because KY was being a dickhead and spying on my chatbox while I was having a conversation with Link because I was very upset about this... I'm just saying that you can't rely on an XNR3ian in situations such as these.
If you want to know the absolute truth, this is what happened. I was often talking to Aze through Chatango PMs anyway because he was a good friend. But I was starting to have a lot of arguments with Link because I went to do level designing and wasn't able to check back on my site before the internet connection went off, ya know, silly things like that. But one day I was so stressed out, I asked for me & Link to have a break and be single for a while, and he agreed so we did that. The next day I felt lonely and depressed for that reason (mixed with a few real life problems too) and just genuine depression anyway because I'm autistic and I get that sort of thing naturally.
But I also felt depressed because I often felt like an object around Link, the way he addressed me, it almost didn't make me feel... free. :/ So I really needed a friend to talk to about this, so I talked to Aze about it. I knew he could keep secrets so I wanted to talk to him about my worries. And then the next day, I talked to him again, and he told me he loved me (at the time, I thought he was being friendly) so I replied and said I loved him too as a friend, and he admitted that he also loved me, like, for real. I'm sorry if you disagree with me telling everyone the small details here Aze, but it's all I can do to even gain a little respect back.. :'<
But yeah, so that's how it started. I was quite shocked at first but I soon discovered, the more I talked to him, the more I felt really close to him. But I didn't want to go out with him because of Link, and I definitely didn't want to two time. So when Link said he wanted to get back in a relationship, I was so stressed out after all these different emotions combined, I wanted to break up with him and have a little freedom, I liked the idea of being single. But because I got close to Aze too, I ended up getting in a small relationship with him. But a few days after this, I told Link because I didn't want to be untruthful towards him, but he took it very sensitively (mind you, only a few members knew about this and they found out around the same time as Link...I think o.o) and I apologised to him, but at the same time I felt under pressure because he said it was all my fault that he felt like this, and to be honest I don't blame him. But then he had a big argument with Aze on my site about this and it was just too stressful so I just left for the day.
But then I discovered, when I came on early today after doing some level designing, that Link PMed me telling me he made a topic on his site about my members' thoughts about this (originally thinking he made one on these forums) so I was really angry and upset as I was worried you all would hate me, especially that in the PM he said that a lot of members had began to hate me. I was sooo worried you guys hated me, because ya know, Runouw.com has literally changed my life, before this I had much trouble expressing my true personality and I didn't even know there was such a thing as a true friend. I was thinking, because of an argument between my two ex-boyfriends, everyone had misunderstood the situation and began to think I was cheating on Link, when I wasn't.. :'/
Anyway, as soon as I discovered this topic was on my site, I went to check it out. There were only two responses anyway, from DK64fan and Tsu. Well, DK didn't say much, but Tsu seemed to misunderstand as it sounded like he thought I was cheating or two timing. I would show you the link but I cleared that whole forum so that topic's completely gone now, thankfully..
So yeah, even after reading all this crap I but I don't blame people that they lost their respect for me, I'll admit I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥, because this is a really ♥♥♥♥♥ thing to do. I just want you to know, a lot of it was caused by stress and depression, and many other autistic Runouwians will understand how this effects thinking and decisions. Please don't think the worst of me, as I said on Chat earlier, this is probably the lowest I've ever gone in my whole life. That's why I'm so disappointed in myself that it had to happen HERE, on my favourite forums and site.. ;_;
So, I'm sorry, for acting like such a ♥♥♥♥♥. You all deserve an apology, as you shouldn't have to put up with crap like this.
Thanks,
~MP3
P.S. Oh yes, and if I could MoD, I might request a ban here for a short time, just to get over this, and then return back optimistic. I hate poisoning people with my negative attitude. So yeah, please don't do it for now of course, but there's a chance I might request one in the next week or so...
Everytime I go on chat questions are thrown at me such as "are you and Aze really in a relationship?" and then people think about Link and probably assume I'm cheating on him, and that I'm a horrible ♥♥♥♥♥.
But that's not true.
I know Link made some sort of topic about me, if not a topic, then a big chat poll or something similar about people's thoughts about me & Aze, which was no need for as I was stressed enough yesterday because of things like these.. But it's not as simple as saying that I apparently "dropped Link so I could go out with Aze" because that's not what happened. There are small details that no-one knows of except myself, Link & Aze. In fact, I know there are people around like Tsu who seemed to have lost respect for me after this, but who would blame him? He heard this whole thing from XNR3 because KY was being a dickhead and spying on my chatbox while I was having a conversation with Link because I was very upset about this... I'm just saying that you can't rely on an XNR3ian in situations such as these.If you want to know the absolute truth, this is what happened. I was often talking to Aze through Chatango PMs anyway because he was a good friend. But I was starting to have a lot of arguments with Link because I went to do level designing and wasn't able to check back on my site before the internet connection went off, ya know, silly things like that. But one day I was so stressed out, I asked for me & Link to have a break and be single for a while, and he agreed so we did that. The next day I felt lonely and depressed for that reason (mixed with a few real life problems too) and just genuine depression anyway because I'm autistic and I get that sort of thing naturally.
But I also felt depressed because I often felt like an object around Link, the way he addressed me, it almost didn't make me feel... free. :/ So I really needed a friend to talk to about this, so I talked to Aze about it. I knew he could keep secrets so I wanted to talk to him about my worries. And then the next day, I talked to him again, and he told me he loved me (at the time, I thought he was being friendly) so I replied and said I loved him too as a friend, and he admitted that he also loved me, like, for real. I'm sorry if you disagree with me telling everyone the small details here Aze, but it's all I can do to even gain a little respect back.. :'<But yeah, so that's how it started. I was quite shocked at first but I soon discovered, the more I talked to him, the more I felt really close to him. But I didn't want to go out with him because of Link, and I definitely didn't want to two time. So when Link said he wanted to get back in a relationship, I was so stressed out after all these different emotions combined, I wanted to break up with him and have a little freedom, I liked the idea of being single. But because I got close to Aze too, I ended up getting in a small relationship with him. But a few days after this, I told Link because I didn't want to be untruthful towards him, but he took it very sensitively (mind you, only a few members knew about this and they found out around the same time as Link...I think o.o) and I apologised to him, but at the same time I felt under pressure because he said it was all my fault that he felt like this, and to be honest I don't blame him. But then he had a big argument with Aze on my site about this and it was just too stressful so I just left for the day.
But then I discovered, when I came on early today after doing some level designing, that Link PMed me telling me he made a topic on his site about my members' thoughts about this (originally thinking he made one on these forums) so I was really angry and upset as I was worried you all would hate me, especially that in the PM he said that a lot of members had began to hate me. I was sooo worried you guys hated me, because ya know, Runouw.com has literally changed my life, before this I had much trouble expressing my true personality and I didn't even know there was such a thing as a true friend. I was thinking, because of an argument between my two ex-boyfriends, everyone had misunderstood the situation and began to think I was cheating on Link, when I wasn't.. :'/
Anyway, as soon as I discovered this topic was on my site, I went to check it out. There were only two responses anyway, from DK64fan and Tsu. Well, DK didn't say much, but Tsu seemed to misunderstand as it sounded like he thought I was cheating or two timing. I would show you the link but I cleared that whole forum so that topic's completely gone now, thankfully..
So yeah, even after reading all this crap I but I don't blame people that they lost their respect for me, I'll admit I'm a ♥♥♥♥♥, because this is a really ♥♥♥♥♥ thing to do. I just want you to know, a lot of it was caused by stress and depression, and many other autistic Runouwians will understand how this effects thinking and decisions. Please don't think the worst of me, as I said on Chat earlier, this is probably the lowest I've ever gone in my whole life. That's why I'm so disappointed in myself that it had to happen HERE, on my favourite forums and site.. ;_;
So, I'm sorry, for acting like such a ♥♥♥♥♥. You all deserve an apology, as you shouldn't have to put up with crap like this.
Thanks,
~MP3
P.S. Oh yes, and if I could MoD, I might request a ban here for a short time, just to get over this, and then return back optimistic. I hate poisoning people with my negative attitude. So yeah, please don't do it for now of course, but there's a chance I might request one in the next week or so...
The below image is a montage of my individual highest placing LDC creations, as a reminder to myself that level designing is a part of my life that I can't just leave behind
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Re: An apology...
Thumbs up x1
by PuppetOfMisery » March 12th, 2012, 1:04 pm
Hey hey hey hey hey HEY HEY HEY!
Look, I forgive you for hanging around with Aze. I know how you feel…
Basically, from my POV, I agreed with Ampy that we had a break with each other. Then after a few days, she told us that we're breaking up for real. I got upset, because I was reflecting on all the times we had together and stuff (you know…when your girlfriend/boyfriend breaks up with you, you're going to feel upset). I was beginning to think about how pathetic and ♥♥♥♥ I am. After a couple of days, Ampy wanted to tell me something really important. I went to listen, and as soon as I heard about Aze loving her, I was starting to fall in tears and lie my head on my table thinking that Ampy thought Aze was better than me. But then, something inside me made me rage at her, and I felt like I had a right to do it. I wanted to do it because I WANTED her to feel bad after what she has done to me (made me think I'm pathetic). I then forgave her only if she breaks up with Aze. She said she just can't help it (I think, can't remember). I PMed Aze, nicely, saying that I want my girlfriend back, and all he did was send me a troll post and a troll image that said, 'lol, nope'.
That made me REALLY furious, and as soon as Aze came on Amp's site, he was saying like flirty things to Ampy. Ampy was responding to him. I asked Ampy, "Are you seriously brainwashed by this guy?" Aze started getting rude to me, and I was like, WTF, how could Ampy love this guy? It made Ampy upset, REALLY upset, and I talked to her, because I actually…felt sorry for her, and I gave her a hug, and said to not hang around with Aze again.
THE NEXT DAY
I was an idiot, a real idiot. An idiot that made a topic about Ampy & Aze loving each other as well as Aze insulting me as being admin, wanting me demoted. In that topic, only Tsu and DK64fan replied. DK didn't say much, but Tsu was hurting Ampy. I felt hurt from the inside, so I tried to nuke the topic, but due to Jcink's dumb trash can system, it was in there. I asked Nworlds, Karyete and Bogdan for support, and they accepted to join the fight to get Ampy back for me, to the rightful person. When Ampy came on later, she got really upset with me, because she thought that I made a topic about her and Aze on Runouw (actually in MFW) and she thought that everyone was going to hate her. Well…on Chatango (♥♥♥♥ tango in my terms), we were all fighting and most people was on my side. However, I felt really guilty, because I really did not want to start a fight, yet it happened. I thought everyone hated me including Ampy, so I went on MFW and was saying that I was pathetic, ♥♥♥♥, and I wanted to kill myself after making that topic. I was even being horrible to everyone including Ampy, and I said that everyone hates me, I'm unwanted, and I'm worthless. Thankfully, Bog, Nworlds, and EVEN Ampy said they don't hate me. Ampy forgave me for the extreme thing I done, and even gave me a hug. I said sorry and Ampy said sorry and it was all over.
Right now though, Ampy is still single, but we can just feel that we'll be together soon.
…alright, that's the end. For god sake, I had to type this all on my 3DS.
But yeah, sorry about all the fighting. I really mean it. I'm sorry to everyone, and I MEAN everyone for all this drama.
Thank you,
Xeuonia
Look, I forgive you for hanging around with Aze. I know how you feel…
Basically, from my POV, I agreed with Ampy that we had a break with each other. Then after a few days, she told us that we're breaking up for real. I got upset, because I was reflecting on all the times we had together and stuff (you know…when your girlfriend/boyfriend breaks up with you, you're going to feel upset). I was beginning to think about how pathetic and ♥♥♥♥ I am. After a couple of days, Ampy wanted to tell me something really important. I went to listen, and as soon as I heard about Aze loving her, I was starting to fall in tears and lie my head on my table thinking that Ampy thought Aze was better than me. But then, something inside me made me rage at her, and I felt like I had a right to do it. I wanted to do it because I WANTED her to feel bad after what she has done to me (made me think I'm pathetic). I then forgave her only if she breaks up with Aze. She said she just can't help it (I think, can't remember). I PMed Aze, nicely, saying that I want my girlfriend back, and all he did was send me a troll post and a troll image that said, 'lol, nope'.
That made me REALLY furious, and as soon as Aze came on Amp's site, he was saying like flirty things to Ampy. Ampy was responding to him. I asked Ampy, "Are you seriously brainwashed by this guy?" Aze started getting rude to me, and I was like, WTF, how could Ampy love this guy? It made Ampy upset, REALLY upset, and I talked to her, because I actually…felt sorry for her, and I gave her a hug, and said to not hang around with Aze again.
THE NEXT DAY
I was an idiot, a real idiot. An idiot that made a topic about Ampy & Aze loving each other as well as Aze insulting me as being admin, wanting me demoted. In that topic, only Tsu and DK64fan replied. DK didn't say much, but Tsu was hurting Ampy. I felt hurt from the inside, so I tried to nuke the topic, but due to Jcink's dumb trash can system, it was in there. I asked Nworlds, Karyete and Bogdan for support, and they accepted to join the fight to get Ampy back for me, to the rightful person. When Ampy came on later, she got really upset with me, because she thought that I made a topic about her and Aze on Runouw (actually in MFW) and she thought that everyone was going to hate her. Well…on Chatango (♥♥♥♥ tango in my terms), we were all fighting and most people was on my side. However, I felt really guilty, because I really did not want to start a fight, yet it happened. I thought everyone hated me including Ampy, so I went on MFW and was saying that I was pathetic, ♥♥♥♥, and I wanted to kill myself after making that topic. I was even being horrible to everyone including Ampy, and I said that everyone hates me, I'm unwanted, and I'm worthless. Thankfully, Bog, Nworlds, and EVEN Ampy said they don't hate me. Ampy forgave me for the extreme thing I done, and even gave me a hug. I said sorry and Ampy said sorry and it was all over.
Right now though, Ampy is still single, but we can just feel that we'll be together soon.
…alright, that's the end. For god sake, I had to type this all on my 3DS.
But yeah, sorry about all the fighting. I really mean it. I'm sorry to everyone, and I MEAN everyone for all this drama.
Thank you,
Xeuonia
Last edited by PuppetOfMisery on March 12th, 2012, 3:10 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: An apology...
by Canine » March 12th, 2012, 2:47 pm
Lol, it's okay with me. Haha, I'm an understanding of all people, lulz. 
I don't think you're a ♥♥♥♥♥, or whatever the five-letter world that is censored is, you're a good friend to probably alot of people, and yeah... lol. ;P
Kay. Just saying my small opinion.
I don't think you're a ♥♥♥♥♥, or whatever the five-letter world that is censored is, you're a good friend to probably alot of people, and yeah... lol. ;P
Kay. Just saying my small opinion.
Hi, it's me again. I'm back for good now. No more leaving. Hopefully. Anyways, see you around.. 
Follow me on Facebook for updates on my life, if you care.
https://www.facebook.com/troy.thompson123
No hate. ._. No one gives a ♥♥♥♥ anyways.
Gee. I hope I post this and hope it doesn't count as advertising. >.<
Face it. I don't care most of the time..
K bye.
Anyways, see you around.. Follow me on Facebook for updates on my life, if you care.
https://www.facebook.com/troy.thompson123
No hate. ._. No one gives a ♥♥♥♥ anyways.
Gee. I hope I post this and hope it doesn't count as advertising. >.<
Face it. I don't care most of the time..
K bye.
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Canine - Honorary Member
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Re: An apology...
Thumbs up x1
by ~MP3 Amplifier~ » March 12th, 2012, 3:26 pm
Lol not many people are aware of this issue so maybe this apology turned out pretty pointless. :3
All i'm trying to say is that i want to be accepted on this site and if more ♥♥♥♥ like this happens i'll probs be permabanned :/
All i'm trying to say is that i want to be accepted on this site and if more ♥♥♥♥ like this happens i'll probs be permabanned :/
The below image is a montage of my individual highest placing LDC creations, as a reminder to myself that level designing is a part of my life that I can't just leave behind
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~MP3 Amplifier~ - THE DARK LAMP
Error contacting Twitter - Posts: 4383
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Re: An apology...
by Canine » March 12th, 2012, 4:02 pm
Pfft, lawl. It's fine with me. :3
Hi, it's me again. I'm back for good now. No more leaving. Hopefully. Anyways, see you around..
Follow me on Facebook for updates on my life, if you care.
https://www.facebook.com/troy.thompson123
No hate. ._. No one gives a ♥♥♥♥ anyways.
Gee. I hope I post this and hope it doesn't count as advertising. >.<
Face it. I don't care most of the time..
K bye.
Anyways, see you around.. Follow me on Facebook for updates on my life, if you care.
https://www.facebook.com/troy.thompson123
No hate. ._. No one gives a ♥♥♥♥ anyways.
Gee. I hope I post this and hope it doesn't count as advertising. >.<
Face it. I don't care most of the time..
K bye.
-
Canine - Honorary Member
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Re: An apology...
by NanTheDark » March 12th, 2012, 4:11 pm
I wasn't even aware of anything.
I still think you're cool
I still think you're cool
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NanTheDark - As it breaks, it becomes stronger
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Re: An apology...
by BrawlerEX » March 12th, 2012, 4:59 pm
You're still cool.
I didn't know anything about this until I read this. You're not anyone bad or anything. The only people I hate are cheaters.
You at least had a reason to back it up. When I hear someone having relationship problems it drives me nuts that people throw them away like trash.
I didn't know anything about this until I read this. You're not anyone bad or anything. The only people I hate are cheaters.
You at least had a reason to back it up. When I hear someone having relationship problems it drives me nuts that people throw them away like trash.
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Re: An apology...
by Doram » March 12th, 2012, 9:24 pm
Ok. I'm tired, so here's the short version...
Figuring out what you are feeling can be very hard, and even when you are used to the process of digging down to what your true feelings are, it can still be hellishly hard (I get smacked with that every once in a while). Nobody here faults you for needing to go through the process of figuring out how you really feel about people.
Also, being up front and honest about things at every step of the process helps immensely in keeping bad reactions down. That is why your interaction with Link and Aze went so well, and that is why you will have no problems with the people here. The whole XNR3 thing has already been dealt with in another thread, and furthermore, all of the staff have worked very hard to make sure that everybody here has the tools to be kind, generous, tolerant, and reasonable people, and have encouraged that attitude as much as possible.
I am not mad at you, and I would guess that the majority of other people here are not mad either, otherwise this thread would have gone much differently in the last 24 hours. You are doing a good job with your life, and you are treating yourself and everyone around you with the perfect amount of respect. You have nothing to worry about.
Figuring out what you are feeling can be very hard, and even when you are used to the process of digging down to what your true feelings are, it can still be hellishly hard (I get smacked with that every once in a while). Nobody here faults you for needing to go through the process of figuring out how you really feel about people.
Also, being up front and honest about things at every step of the process helps immensely in keeping bad reactions down. That is why your interaction with Link and Aze went so well, and that is why you will have no problems with the people here. The whole XNR3 thing has already been dealt with in another thread, and furthermore, all of the staff have worked very hard to make sure that everybody here has the tools to be kind, generous, tolerant, and reasonable people, and have encouraged that attitude as much as possible.
I am not mad at you, and I would guess that the majority of other people here are not mad either, otherwise this thread would have gone much differently in the last 24 hours. You are doing a good job with your life, and you are treating yourself and everyone around you with the perfect amount of respect. You have nothing to worry about.
Martin Luther King Jr. wrote:Man must evolve, for all human conflict, a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
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Re: An apology...
by StarF » March 13th, 2012, 7:56 am
You have a negative attitude?
Wow, never knew that :p
And LD, it's quite common for people to do that, really common in fact, I've seen it all before (Not telling my source) and it tends to end up fine after a while.
Edit: So many serious posts recently by me... FFFFFUUUUUUU---
Wow, never knew that :p
And LD, it's quite common for people to do that, really common in fact, I've seen it all before (Not telling my source) and it tends to end up fine after a while.
Edit: So many serious posts recently by me... FFFFFUUUUUUU---
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Re: An apology...
by NyansIsAPyro » March 13th, 2012, 9:09 am
I don't really care what happened. Something like this rarely changes my perspective about someone's points of view or their general personality. You're still the same person regardless of who you dated and what happened between them.
Tl;dr
Dood, you're awesome. Be a super Lemon and delete those retarded house levels, 'kay?
Tl;dr
Dood, you're awesome. Be a super Lemon and delete those retarded house levels, 'kay?
I roll my own.
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