oh my aunt jemima that is so funny

[Raz]

I worked as a camp counselor, and there was a lake the kids could swim in. In one part of the lake was a roped off area for non swimmers... it was maybe two feet deep, right next to the lifeguard, and all the youngest kids (5-8) would hang out there, splashing around.
One day, a little girl pooped. She poker face'd hard, but that thing popped up... and started floating towards the others. A panic started. Kids started trying to run through the water, but the floor was muddy and they had trouble getting traction. That poop somehow floated towards the nearest child like a heat seeking missile (but away from the dastardly little girl who'd caused the panic), and when that kid got away it would change course towards another child. Some kids were pinned against the reeds in panic, unable to get out. Others made for the shore line. The little girl just sat there pretending she saw nothing as this poop continued its journey of brown terror.
Finally all the kids were gotten out of the wading area, and the poop wandered into the reeds... hiding... waiting.
TL;DR: Poop doesn't just float. It hunts.

[BrawlerEX]

<History Teacher> Okay class we have a pop quiz tomorrow
<Me> ಠ_ಠ

[Raz]

<History Teacher> Okay class we have a pop quiz tomorrow
<Me> ಠ_ಠ

OMFG DATS SO NAWT FUNNEH!

[Raz]

A meadow of erect ♥♥♥♥♥ waving gently in a soft breeze, beckoning you, welcoming you back to a place of natural beauty and serenity. If you tickle one just right, it will release a wonderous cloud of seeds. These seeds will travel far and wide, bringing warmth and love to the hearts of many. But be warned, do this too often and the grove could wither and lay, spent of magic, forever.


- Chat Roulette, described by a redditor.

[Panik!]

*friend has bag of crushed Life cereal*

<friend> *pretending it's a drug* $50 bucks for this much. I mean, come on, you ever been high on Life?

[Kimonio]

I have probably one of the wierdest but awesome girlfriend ever. o.O


(Talking about Pokebattlers)
[11/3/2012 5:21:28 PM] Shad: *pokes Zero*
[11/3/2012 5:21:31 PM] Shad: Oi. Raid me.
[11/3/2012 5:21:44 PM] Laurels: That's what she said. O3o

[11/3/2012 5:22:41 PM] Laurels: You know the term rape originally came from the Scandinavians, from when they would plunder villages and rape the women? Rape used to mean to take.

(More Pokebattlers stuff)
[11/3/2012 6:56:07 PM] Scott: WHAT DOES I PAY SHAD/LAURELS FOR THE ATTACK TO STOP
[11/3/2012 6:56:34 PM] Shad: Computer parts, flash drives, tech stuff...oh, and dubstep.
[11/3/2012 6:56:41 PM] Shad: And melodic metal for Shad. :3
[11/3/2012 6:56:49 PM] Laurels: And Shad's plane ticket to get to MA.
[11/3/2012 6:56:54 PM] Shad: ^
[11/3/2012 6:56:54 PM] Scott: ; n ;
[11/3/2012 6:57:00 PM] Scott: ; n ;




EDIT: Wtf, not "girlfriends". I'm not a playa. Dx

[Kimonio]

Might as well post another one?

[5:29:43 PM] Shad: I wish I could go home.
[5:30:08 PM] Lahrels: I wish I could go home with you.
[5:30:24 PM] Shad: o.O
[5:30:33 PM] Lahrels: ...O3o

[SomeOne]

Me (in french and in a video) : "So where's the shop that I thought it was, the shop?... Yeah, I know, it doesn't mean anything what I just said, but never mind"... Since this video, this quote is still known by my fans (I haven't many, but I don't care)

[GrandPiano]

My dad, who just brought home the pizza he ordered: To get the special, I had to order three toppings. Guess what they were?
Us (after lots of wrong guessing): What?
Dad: Pepperoni, mushrooms, and nothing.

[Raz]

:l