That's right! I think it's time for me to give my honest opinion about some of the honest things that honestly happen in the honest world. Even though I just used "honest" completely wrong, I'll just review things when I feel like!
RULES:
Now, I welcome rebuttals and rebukes, but please, no flaming or such like that. I want some good, detailed and clean comments. Your posts do not have to relate to anything previously said. Any movie, games, books, anything you would like to talk about, you are allowed to in this corner here.
No spamming, don't post anything childish. Language is fine, but only when necessary. This corner is not for complaining, it's for ranting, (Yes, I consider them different.) You can not just hate something just because you are allowed to, you must be able to back all your words with evidence. Also, that does not mean ranting is the only thing you are allowed to do. You may praise anything you truly believe is praise worthy, just be ready for people to talk back.
Also, do not take everything seriously. It is OUR opinions, and if you don't agree, then fine. Anybody who talks back is simply trying to find out details, and speak about what's wrong with other's statements. If you do not believe in them, then don't listen.
Also, if you do a full review of something, I will gladly link the review to the front page.
*SPOILERS*
Within the confines of this topic will be spoilers to movies and stories. I highly suggest that, unless you like spoilers, you watch the movie before you read the review. I mean, why wouldn't you in the first place?
Alice in Wonderland in 3D IMax
When I heard about this, it made me mildly interested. I'm not THAT big of a Disney fan, and I think Johnny Depp is pretty good. I sometimes like Tim Burton, but that's only sometimes. I decided to try it out! Now, I asked some people's opinions of the movie before I went, and I heard EXTREMELY mixed reviews. Either the movie was so bad that they just plain hated it, or the movie was so good that it was trippy. Now, after watching the movie, I understand why there is such one-sided opinions about it. For one thing, if you watch the movie, and you've watch the original Alice, the first thing you'll notice that, other then the names of the characters, EVERYTHING else is different. You'll forget what Alice in Wonderland was even about, this movie takes it and whips it to pieces that much. Really, they turned the entire Alice in Wonderland into a "war" movie where "war"-like things happen but no real "war" occurs. The action in this movie is quite abysmal, you see maybe a few people get knocked down, then your silly childish Disney action which I understand, then Alice slices off the head of a "Jabberwocky" which is basically a dragon but seeing as there are already talking animals, they decided to rename the dragon into a JABBERWOCKY. Now, a lot of the people who went to go see Alice was why? Because of the Mad Hatter of course. I mean, who wouldn't want to see Johnny Depp act as mad as he USUALLY is? But the thing is, he's not even mad. Not crazy at all. He's just bipolar. For some odd reason, he gets angry, and he get happy randomly, but that's not what bugs me. It's the fact that he changes accents whenever he changes emotions. WHY?! It's not even an accent thats recognizable. It's like a mix between English, Scottish, Irish, and anything around that area. It's like he was trying to be Jack Sparrow again but completely forgot who the F*ck he was so decided to just throw everything together. They added so much new things into Wonderland that it just became retarded! It wasn't the surreal Wonderland anymore, no, it was just the ♥♥♥♥ insane Wonderland. Oh, and another thing that bugged the crap out of me was Alice. Yeah, she is this EXTREMELY stupid girl who when she SHOULD do something, she does the complete freaking opposite! Throughout the entire movie, she keeps thinking the whole thing is a dream. WHAT KIND OF DREAMS DO YOU HAVE YOU CRAZY ♥♥♥♥♥?! I don't know how other people's dreams are, but I'm pretty sure that they don't have such a realistic one that you can feel the blood on your arms and the wind in your hair. She finally realizes it's not a dream when the Caterpillar, who by the way I thought was very nicely played, tells her she's been here before. Apparently, she didn't put two and two together and get the fact that every single similar dream she's had in the past could in fact MEAN something. If she knows that she had the same dream for years, WHY DIDN'T SHE EVEN THINK ANYTHING ABOUT IT?! Oh, and with her "real" life where she is still a spoiled girl who doesn't seem to listen to whatever anybody else tells her. Why? I mean seriously... Why? Was there any reason for giving her a slightly detailed background of how she's a princess apparently who everyone loves and adores yet she apparently cares less about them and chases after rabbits? NO! Did the old Alice even have ANY sort of background at all?! NO! Why why why why?! Oh, but apparently, her family loves her SO dang much that when Alice tells off the entire family, all they do is smile and act as if it were a compliment. Okay, back to Wonderland, Anne Hathaway. GET OUT OF THE GODDAMN MOVIE! YOUR CHARACTER IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER TOOL! OH MY FREAKING GOD SHE WAS THE MOST ANNOYING THING IN THE MOVIE, and THAT my friends, is saying something. She moves like a snob, she talks like a snob, and she is so damn white that I thought the projector wasn't working anymore cause all I saw in her kingdom was WHITE WHITE WHITE WHITE WHITE. YOU ANNOYING STUPID GIRL ANNE! YOU'RE NOT IN PRINCESS DIARIES ANYMORE, ACT LIKE YOU ACTUALLY DON'T LIKE THE RED QUEEN! ACT LIKE YOU ACTUALLY HAD SOME SORROW WHEN YOUR KINGDOM WAS DESTROYED! JUST ACT GODDAMN IT! ACT LIKE YOU ACTUALLY NEEDED TO!
Whew... Okay I'm better...
So anyways, I was never a fan of talking animals. They are not cute, they are just completely stupid. But of course, this was just done because the precedent was done like that, so I can't really say anything bad about that. So for once, let's talk about some good things.
Letsee...
Excellent CGI.
Actual use of the 3D glasses, not like SOME movies... *CoughAvatarCough*
No that's pretty much it. The lines were corny, the characters were apparently completely stupid, and the action was NOT good. If you are an Alice or even just a Disney, or Tim Burton fan, you will be disappointed. The thing that bothers me with Tim Burton is that most people who love his work only love it because they don't get it. They look at the movie, think, "Oh I don't get this movie at all! IT MUST BE GOOD!" It's like Pan's Labyrinth for example. Only those who actually examine the works above normal are truly allowed to be called a fan. Even I don't get some of his works, but I'm not much of a fan so maybe that's it. Heh. Anyways, that's my review about Alice. I didn't like it, I didn't like it, and it was definitely not that great. Comparisons? With the other movies that have come out in 2009-10? It was OKAY.
New Moon Review
How to Train a Dragon Review
The Hurt Locker
