Being Judged + Knowing One's Self

[CedarBranch]

I don't know how to reply to this...

I don't know if I'm saying this correctly, but I want to add this as an additional issue:

You don't understand this thing about me:

Here it is:
I don't know how to express myself properly in RL nor, potentially, here nor... anywhere. I almost always give everybody the wrong idea. I don't know if I would ever be able to advocate for myself.
I never give out my opinion the same way, ever. I HONESTLY rarely know what I'm ever talking about myself.

I rarely understand any opinions/posts on this website. I am always baffled by how anybody could write so many words, and be accurate.
Where's the logic?


I feel that I really don't know myself, and that I'm just a ghost to myself.

I don't know what to do with my life in times like these.

[CedarBranch]

I'm in despair. -

I can't find trust in anybody.
There's nobody I'm comfortable sharing my business/activities/anything with, not even my mother.

What do I do???

---

EDIT: I'm feeling a bit better at the moment, but I would still like some [more] feedback on the two issues.

[Kimonio]

This post by Kimonio was thumbed up by:

CedarBranch (July 10th, 2013, 1:23 pm)

[Karyete]

This post by Karyete was thumbed up by:

CedarBranch (July 10th, 2013, 1:22 pm)

[CedarBranch]

Just felt like saying this:
I actually have two secrets that I've managed to keep secret throughout my whole life. I'm lucky nobody's ever figured them out, despite me being very witty in terms of hiding the two; this world provides countless variables that always differ. In fact, if I ever have to cover them up because somebody's coming, or is paying attention to me, etc., I will react correctly in time, usually quicker than any cat.
Basically, if either of those two secrets ever get exposed at all whatsoever, I would kill myself. No lie. In fact, I'd say it'd be the best for me, because...... you won't understand unless you'd realize how sensitive I am to the thoughts of anybody ever knowing the two secrets.

So... let us not talk about any secrets I have. They aren't really bothering me anyway, since I consider myself a true god in terms of hiding them. So, yeah.

[~MP3 Amplifier~]

This post by ~MP3 Amplifier~ was thumbed up by: 2

CedarBranch (July 10th, 2013, 1:22 pm) • Killswitch (July 10th, 2013, 2:27 pm)

[Doram]

This post by JSlayerXero was thumbed up by:

Doram (July 25th, 2013, 7:50 pm)

[Kimonio]

hey, if it makes things any better off, ive been told things by many that i never tell anyone. wether it be abuse, molestation, sex, sexual abuse, secret disorders, family troubles, suicidal attempts, you name it, ive heard it. most of it comes from sources off this site, but you would be surprised just who on here goes through tough times.

and even if the vast amount takes a negative effect on my emotions, i hold to the promise to die with them on my mind.

albiet i have a few secrets of my own you guys dont know. few have seen or heard me on skype, and if you think im a tough guy who likes to party...thats a persona. the big secret is that i have feminine tendencies with fashion and cooking, and a few bisexual wys of socializing. nonetheless i dont let it get to me.

and have i been judged? you bet. a lot. called gay as well. but im proud to be me. and if anyone doesnt appreciate me for who i am....well....truth is they can ♥♥♥♥ themselves. because i know who i am...and im proud of it.

[Doram]

This post by Doram was thumbed up by:

CedarBranch (July 26th, 2013, 5:35 pm)