- This post by MessengerOfDreams was thumbed up by:
- Killswitch (July 27th, 2013, 4:15 pm)
Mea Culpa
Forum rules
This is Serious Discussion. If you want to tell us how your day was or just get some things off your chest, you will find ample opportunity to find a corner to discuss all the good things we see, or reach out to anyone who needs help. Just remember to pay attention to the Principles of Serious Discussion, and link to the source if posting news.
This is Serious Discussion. If you want to tell us how your day was or just get some things off your chest, you will find ample opportunity to find a corner to discuss all the good things we see, or reach out to anyone who needs help. Just remember to pay attention to the Principles of Serious Discussion, and link to the source if posting news.
Mea Culpa
Thumbs up x1 
by MessengerOfDreams » July 27th, 2013, 2:57 pm
Hello, guys.
So, with all that's going on, I figured I may as well swallow my pride and get a few things off my chest. Don't worry, there are no secret schemes and scandals, I'm not actually wiretapping you guys for money, nothing under the table has or ever will gone on. However, I know my attitude has not been good lately, and in the past it hasn't been either. I've addressed my share of remorse for my actions before, however, I still do not think I was totally aware of my behavior way back when. So here goes.
First off, I'm sorry if I strike you as antagonistic, or have ever unintentionally used my power to intimidate or strongarm people. It has always been entirely by mistake or misunderstanding, but I know that I have a very forceful personality, and my ability to take criticism well has... eh... yeah. I hope you have never felt like I was unfairly forcing you to do anything outside of my boundaries as a moderator, and I hope no one thinks I've ever been picking on them. I have taken my duties very seriously at times, but I do care about you all, which is why I've stayed so long.
Second, I'm sorry if I had my hand in too many things going on. I have a habit of taking control of projects, because I find them fun and I enjoy being a part of something bigger. Perhaps it's part of being autistic, but I often struggle with doing projects with others unless I know them on a really personal level. However, concerns of the people that moderators are in too much control of projects is understandable, and my reaction was over the top. Perhaps I took it too personally, being involved in so much, but I have a habit of shooting first and asking questions later. If I've steamrolled over your concerns, I apologize. Once upon a time I made the User Reps group to combat things like that; you'd think I'd be the last to succumb to such ignorance.
Third, In general I'm sorry for being antagonistic. I'm not a monster, I'm aware, but I do have a temper on me and oftentimes it gets away from me. I try to be open to admitting my mistakes, but oftentimes it's a struggle. Due to events in the past we are all aware of, I have been left with a struggle to let my guard down, which leads to my common inability to admit when I'm wrong or feeling threatened. Truth is I can be pretty bloody insecure, and I let it get to me. If I've taken that out on you, I apologize.
I hope you understand that this is not a case of power going to my head. I am routinely humbled by the privilege of the opportunity to mean something to all of you. On a human level, you are a group of prodigies I have personal faith invested in, and it is an amazing experience to sit here everyday and trace your stories, your personal growth and your achievements. I've seen people pull up from the edge of suicide to create artistic masterpieces, I've seen some noobs who everyone laughs at mature into some legendary people, I've seen kids grow up into mature adults, I've seen people with no hope gain the faith in themselves they've needed, and above all I've seen hundreds of amazing human beings interact with each other in a small digital slice of the world. I'm happy to have been able to interact with you, and even on a lesser note as usual, I will continue to do so.
I say that because I hope you know that it's not always you, it's me too.
Thanks,
Cameron
So, with all that's going on, I figured I may as well swallow my pride and get a few things off my chest. Don't worry, there are no secret schemes and scandals, I'm not actually wiretapping you guys for money, nothing under the table has or ever will gone on. However, I know my attitude has not been good lately, and in the past it hasn't been either. I've addressed my share of remorse for my actions before, however, I still do not think I was totally aware of my behavior way back when. So here goes.
First off, I'm sorry if I strike you as antagonistic, or have ever unintentionally used my power to intimidate or strongarm people. It has always been entirely by mistake or misunderstanding, but I know that I have a very forceful personality, and my ability to take criticism well has... eh... yeah. I hope you have never felt like I was unfairly forcing you to do anything outside of my boundaries as a moderator, and I hope no one thinks I've ever been picking on them. I have taken my duties very seriously at times, but I do care about you all, which is why I've stayed so long.
Second, I'm sorry if I had my hand in too many things going on. I have a habit of taking control of projects, because I find them fun and I enjoy being a part of something bigger. Perhaps it's part of being autistic, but I often struggle with doing projects with others unless I know them on a really personal level. However, concerns of the people that moderators are in too much control of projects is understandable, and my reaction was over the top. Perhaps I took it too personally, being involved in so much, but I have a habit of shooting first and asking questions later. If I've steamrolled over your concerns, I apologize. Once upon a time I made the User Reps group to combat things like that; you'd think I'd be the last to succumb to such ignorance.
Third, In general I'm sorry for being antagonistic. I'm not a monster, I'm aware, but I do have a temper on me and oftentimes it gets away from me. I try to be open to admitting my mistakes, but oftentimes it's a struggle. Due to events in the past we are all aware of, I have been left with a struggle to let my guard down, which leads to my common inability to admit when I'm wrong or feeling threatened. Truth is I can be pretty bloody insecure, and I let it get to me. If I've taken that out on you, I apologize.
I hope you understand that this is not a case of power going to my head. I am routinely humbled by the privilege of the opportunity to mean something to all of you. On a human level, you are a group of prodigies I have personal faith invested in, and it is an amazing experience to sit here everyday and trace your stories, your personal growth and your achievements. I've seen people pull up from the edge of suicide to create artistic masterpieces, I've seen some noobs who everyone laughs at mature into some legendary people, I've seen kids grow up into mature adults, I've seen people with no hope gain the faith in themselves they've needed, and above all I've seen hundreds of amazing human beings interact with each other in a small digital slice of the world. I'm happy to have been able to interact with you, and even on a lesser note as usual, I will continue to do so.
I say that because I hope you know that it's not always you, it's me too.
Thanks,
Cameron
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MessengerOfDreams - Moderator
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Re: Mea Culpa
by NanTheDark » July 27th, 2013, 5:25 pm
I'm not sure of why is this, but I don't think you're being a bad person or anything. We all have our own personal projects and things that we have to do besides being in this forum. Also, even if you might be a bit, umm, mean every now and then, I know you're just doing your best for things to get done. It's part of leadership, I guess.
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Edit: I deleted a few things because they might be offensive.
Edit: I deleted a few things because they might be offensive.
Last edited by NanTheDark on July 28th, 2013, 11:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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NanTheDark - As it breaks, it becomes stronger
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Re: Mea Culpa
Thumbs up x3
by Ridder » July 27th, 2013, 8:53 pm
*checks serious discussion for the day*
*sees another MoD topic*
*reads the MoD topic*
Okie dokie MoY. I may as well say this rite now so that we can get this out of the way.
You possible have the biggest heart out of any peoples I have ever come to know.
My memory is not crystal clear, so I'm afraid I can't recount your history through my perspective
but from what I understand, you've matured over the last few years, having gone past a lot of strife and unwarranted opposition from those who never saw eye to eye with you.
You're more mindful of other people's feelings than you used to be, as if that wasn't already apparent seeing as how this is like your fifth "my bad guys I'm sorry oh god I'm such a horrible and selfish person" topic.
Look here Johnny boy. This apology would only be necessary if you were a total ♥♥♥♥. You're not. I know your not. That's my opinion on the matter and it will never change.
*sees another MoD topic*
*reads the MoD topic*
Okie dokie MoY. I may as well say this rite now so that we can get this out of the way.
You possible have the biggest heart out of any peoples I have ever come to know.
My memory is not crystal clear, so I'm afraid I can't recount your history through my perspective
but from what I understand, you've matured over the last few years, having gone past a lot of strife and unwarranted opposition from those who never saw eye to eye with you.
You're more mindful of other people's feelings than you used to be, as if that wasn't already apparent seeing as how this is like your fifth "my bad guys I'm sorry oh god I'm such a horrible and selfish person" topic.
Look here Johnny boy. This apology would only be necessary if you were a total ♥♥♥♥. You're not. I know your not. That's my opinion on the matter and it will never change.
THE CREED: Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.
"...That's rather cynical."
"It would be if it were doctrine, but it is merely an observation of the nature of reality.
To say that Nothing is True is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shephards of our own civilization.
To say that Everything is Permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with the consequences, whether glorious...or tragic."
-Ezio Auditore da Firenze explaining the Creed, 1514, Masayaf.
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Re: Mea Culpa
by MessengerOfDreams » July 27th, 2013, 9:11 pm
Lawl, I was totally trying to not go for a "I'm sorry guys I'm a horrible selfish ♥♥♥♥" topic. XD I just knew I was putting people off (I had gotten PMs) so I wanted to make sure people knew I was still standup. But... that's big talk, man. Thanks.
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MessengerOfDreams - Moderator
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Re: Mea Culpa
Thumbs up x3
by KABOOM » July 28th, 2013, 2:56 am
*let us never speak of this post again*
Last edited by KABOOM on July 30th, 2013, 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Mea Culpa
by NanTheDark » July 28th, 2013, 11:57 am
I'm sorry :/ I edited that out of my message now.
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NanTheDark - As it breaks, it becomes stronger
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Re: Mea Culpa
by Megar » July 30th, 2013, 1:06 pm
...I got nothing because uh
uhm
erm
ahm
ihm
ohm (this is apparently a word)
i guess i could say we forgive you
uhm
erm
ahm
ihm
ohm (this is apparently a word)
i guess i could say we forgive you
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Re: Mea Culpa
by ~MP3 Amplifier~ » August 1st, 2013, 3:48 pm
ohm is a word yes. You would know in Additional Physics. :> @Mega
And I guess I don't really know what to say that Riddah hasn't already said, MoD. You're a great person, and I hope you know I wouldn't have been as inspired by you if you weren't. I know how you feel though, recently I've had a particularly bitter temper on me for no reason and I nearly made an apology topic. It's strange how I can be so changeable like that. Maybe that is just me being autistic too. Either way, you're cool.
And I'm sure we forgive you if you really did anything that bad. But as far as I can see you did nothing of the kind.
And I guess I don't really know what to say that Riddah hasn't already said, MoD. You're a great person, and I hope you know I wouldn't have been as inspired by you if you weren't. I know how you feel though, recently I've had a particularly bitter temper on me for no reason and I nearly made an apology topic. It's strange how I can be so changeable like that. Maybe that is just me being autistic too. Either way, you're cool.
And I'm sure we forgive you if you really did anything that bad. But as far as I can see you did nothing of the kind.
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