I don't feel like reading through all that stuff right now, I just skimmed it... but whatever...
I believe in God in great part due to reason. Sure, I went to church for a while (catholic church. Yeah I was raised catholic), and I learned a lot there, but by myself I've also come to many reasons why God should exist, and I've come up with theories and whatnot regarding Him. I'm not gonna talk about that here, it's way too convoluted

But anyway, what I'm trying to say here... I don't know what I'm trying to say.
But to be fair I don't fear death. Even if I didn't believe in God, I wouldn't be crying over nothing happening after death or whatever. The way I see it... why should you fear what you don't know?
Also, what Xero said... In a way, if people actually cry for you, it's because they're going to miss you. You were important in their lives. I think that's why people fear dying alone. It would mean your life wasn't significant. Or something.
That reminds me of something my dad says... Crying when someone dies is selfish. You cry not because that person died, but because
you lost that person, because
you will miss that person.
In a way, one should just treasure the time you spent with that person, and be happy about that. And hope he's in a better place now, if you're a believer or a pessimistic person who thinks life sucks. That happens.
I don't know what I'm trying to say anymore really. Also, if your mom is treating you differently for good, that's good. You are not a burden. I usually tend to think I'm a load for my parents, but no. I'm their child. They love me, and they want me to grow and whatnot. It's not just a job for them, it's... just that they love me so much. I'm their son.
...Parents make mistakes. All the time. But when they realize that... they can always try and fix them. Spend more quality time, or say something that needs to be said. Dunno. But if your mom is trying to be better with you... let her. Just let her. Embrace it.
And hopefully her love will help you.