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An agnostic is not a Christian denomination. An agnostic isn't a Christian at all. An agnostic is somewhere between atheism and theism.

To have people crying at your grave means somebody cared for you. I had a pastor who was asked to conduct a funeral, where the dead person's brothers went up nonchalantly and said, "I have nothing good to say about him." You don't cry over people you don't care about unless you have this sick idea that you must have been the one to off him. Even then, that's wounded pride in knowing you're not the cause of death, not mourning over the actual loss of life. Saying you'd rather die alone, in reference to not wanting people to cry over you makes it sound like you don't want people to care for you, even though you've tried making friends with scum. That makes no sense to me. People might feel pain over you, or cry over you, or getting burdened over you, but the question is why? If you're intentionally hurting people, then it's entirely your fault. However, I know from experience that people that care for you would feel burdened to see you suffer because they care about you. It's depressing to see some one you care about die, it's why people cry over the dead. The Bible says weep with those who weep. Not feeling burdened over somebody you know is in pain means either you flat out don't care, or hate that person. Am I the only one that thinks like this?

I don't feel like reading through all that stuff right now, I just skimmed it... but whatever...

I believe in God in great part due to reason. Sure, I went to church for a while (catholic church. Yeah I was raised catholic), and I learned a lot there, but by myself I've also come to many reasons why God should exist, and I've come up with theories and whatnot regarding Him. I'm not gonna talk about that here, it's way too convoluted But anyway, what I'm trying to say here... I don't know what I'm trying to say.

But to be fair I don't fear death. Even if I didn't believe in God, I wouldn't be crying over nothing happening after death or whatever. The way I see it... why should you fear what you don't know?

Also, what Xero said... In a way, if people actually cry for you, it's because they're going to miss you. You were important in their lives. I think that's why people fear dying alone. It would mean your life wasn't significant. Or something.

That reminds me of something my dad says... Crying when someone dies is selfish. You cry not because that person died, but because you lost that person, because you will miss that person.

In a way, one should just treasure the time you spent with that person, and be happy about that. And hope he's in a better place now, if you're a believer or a pessimistic person who thinks life sucks. That happens.

I don't know what I'm trying to say anymore really. Also, if your mom is treating you differently for good, that's good. You are not a burden. I usually tend to think I'm a load for my parents, but no. I'm their child. They love me, and they want me to grow and whatnot. It's not just a job for them, it's... just that they love me so much. I'm their son.

...Parents make mistakes. All the time. But when they realize that... they can always try and fix them. Spend more quality time, or say something that needs to be said. Dunno. But if your mom is trying to be better with you... let her. Just let her. Embrace it.

And hopefully her love will help you.

Well, the thing that your dad said about crying over death being selfish, I wouldn't say that's always the case.

When my friend died from cancer, yes my instinct reaction was to cry, but really the more I cried the more I realised I was actually crying because her beautiful life had been taken from her, and she had so many dreams and so much optimism, that I was crying because she herself had lost everything. I wished more than anything that she would recover and have a beautiful, wonderful life after cancer and after she died I cried more for her sake, because she didn't get what she wished for, than for my own sake.

Maybe it's hard to understand (or maybe it isn't, who knows) but the reason why is because she died at the time we least expected it- when she was getting better.
In fact, she was so so close to leaving the hospital for good, and in the end she didn't even die of cancer, she died of a bug that she picked up while her immune system was lowered by the chemotherapy.

Ah this subject. Never fails to get the tears out of me. I'd better stop.

A friend's sister died of some kind of renal failure (I was never too clear on what it was exactly)... two years ago. Or so. We all were praying for her to get better...

And just like your friend, she died when she seemed to be getting better. So I guess I know what it's like, sorta...

To be honest, I didn't really cry. Not even in the funeral. In a way... I guess we had to be strong for my friend. He really loved his sister. And I didn't get to know her too well, but she seemed like a good person. In fact, there was a ton of people at the funeral. And people who couldn't be there. Our whole freaking high school misses her, probably.

And I do realize that. You can cry because of the fact that someone lost his/her life. That maybe s/he won't be able to pursue what s/he was doing, or whatever. I kind of have.

A longer time ago...

When I was in High School, like 9th, 10th or so, a teacher we had in Middle School (or some kind of equivalent... we were in 7th, 8th grade. Something like that) died. An art teacher. I really liked him, he was a nice guy. And when he died... I thought of how unfair everyone else was with him. My class at least. No one cared about his classes. No one respected the deadlines. There were kids who would sneakily throw pieces of rubber at him... They were quite mean to him.

And something that sort of pissed me off... is that they didn't care about him dying either. Most of them at least.

I went to the service, but when I saw him in the casket, his face, I couldn't help but start crying. My parents told me not to go to the funeral. They thought I might not be able to take it. That was a wise decision I believe.

...I don't know what else to say. Death in general is a touchy subject, which I'd rather not discuss much. But it's a part of life. And we must live with it.

Duality haunts everything.

NanTheDark wrote:When I was in High School, like 9th, 10th or so, a teacher we had in Middle School (or some kind of equivalent... we were in 7th, 8th grade. Something like that) died. An art teacher. I really liked him, he was a nice guy. And when he died... I thought of how unfair everyone else was with him. My class at least. No one cared about his classes. No one respected the deadlines. There were kids who would sneakily throw pieces of rubber at him... They were quite mean to him.

And something that sort of pissed me off... is that they didn't care about him dying either. Most of them at least.

I hate it when that happens, really. Some people just make me lose faith in humanity all together. Or rather, the upcoming generation of kids. It sometimes wants me to just witness 2050 for a little bit just to see how worse it's gotten. Or better, if by some lucky stroke people grow up.

I still have faith in humanity though. I'm not gonna speak about why right now, but I have my reasons.

Don't get me wrong, I have seen enough good people to have some faith in humanity. But still... it's hard to believe how many people just don't care for anything anymore.

Well I watched one of these "teens react to" or "kids react to" videos because sometimes they're cool, and came across a "teens react to suicide" video in the recommended section. Thing is, I thought nobody cared, and I was expecting them to laugh, but it was a good lesson because they were admittedly saying it was ♥♥♥♥ up that some people would bully someone so much to make them commit suicide, and some of them cried. It's not the best example I have, because these videos are usually meant to be funny reactions, and this is just about one 'world famous' suicide story (yeah, Amanda Todd anyone?), but it gave me a little bit of hope. I've seen this account only recently on twitter where the girl committed suicide and took one last picture of herself before she died and people still replied 'lol'. It's sickening isn't it.

Point is, don't lose faith in humanity, that won't achieve anything. There are evil and wonderful people in the world, and I personally don't think it's fair on the people who try so hard to change things and save lives to be hated against just for being...human.

When I say I lose faith in humanity, I don't automatically assume that everyone's bad really. I'm not willing to judge others right off the bat because I've seen so many ♥♥♥♥ up situations and responses. I'm more disappointed and wondering what it would take for people to understand that being a selfish prick that thinks death is funny is a sickening thing.

I live in a society where kids are taught that they originate from animals and are nothing more than advanced animals. It doesn't surprise me when people start acting like animals any more. They're only acting like how they were taught. Being a jackass just comes naturally when you think that an actual jackass might have been one of your great ancestors.