- This post by Harmless was thumbed up by: 2
- Dtroid (October 3rd, 2013, 11:19 pm) • Killswitch (October 4th, 2013, 5:17 am)
It's a matter of time
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This is Serious Discussion. If you want to tell us how your day was or just get some things off your chest, you will find ample opportunity to find a corner to discuss all the good things we see, or reach out to anyone who needs help. Just remember to pay attention to the Principles of Serious Discussion, and link to the source if posting news.
Re: It's a matter of time
Thumbs up x2 
by Harmless » October 3rd, 2013, 7:50 pm
I totally agree, life's an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I learned that the hard way, kinda like you I suppose.
Might as well make the best with what we do understand. Feel better, stay strong, stand tall my friend.
Might as well make the best with what we do understand. Feel better, stay strong, stand tall my friend.
~ Tesla Bromonovich
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Harmless - Is it lunch time yet?
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Re: It's a matter of time
Thumbs up x1
by Kimonio » October 4th, 2013, 3:37 am
darthbrowser wrote:Stoneheart wrote:
From what I see, your parents are pressuring you to do this, to do that. And like me, you are probably someone who doesn't know how to say "no" or "stop". And that is okay. In fact, that is great. But because of this, we let people walk all over us. And you know how we feel, because you feel it. We fell like the ♥♥♥♥ they turn us into.
You need to tell your parents to stop. Tell them you can live your own life.
Do you truly consider that as the best option? It seems as if it leads to endless conflicts in which victory is unattainable. You are nearly a year older than I, but I will nevertheless point out the following intuition - much as they try, external influences are ultimately unable to change any one of your beliefs without a personal choice of compliance.
That is essentially to reiterate what you already said - your parents and similar entities lack the ability to modify your opinions.
Hence where I have derived my aforementioned statement of the futility of attempting to combat their advances.
I have found through experience that a much simpler strategy is simple ignorance of their ideological demands. Admittedly, this requires some level of emotional detachment, but if your family is indeed as frustrating as you claim, this should have already occurred.
A more challenging but more rewarding strategy to be used in concert with the above is to always perform the physical instructions given by them. Those are things like chores, getting something, e.t.c. The reason for this is that, most of the time, commands of that nature will not conflict with your ideological beliefs and are very simple. It may seem demeaning or infringing on your personal value, but obeying action commands without question will remove a massive source of contention.
By simply obeying their commands and ignoring all other forms of advice, you will isolate yourself psychologically from them, removing their status as a mentor. This will leave them, for the most part, unable to emotionally harm you whilst freeing up a great deal of your time and intellectual ability for more worthwhile pursuits.
Of course, this method places pacification above all - the idea is to avoid all conflict. The premise behind this is that fighting them is simply not worth it. As already stated, they cannot change your beliefs, and their action commands are very rarely substantial enough to justify conflict. Thus, almost all points of conflict with family members can be ignored.
None of this works unless emotional detachment has occurred between you and them. If you feel they have an inherent right to be a large (to the point of dominant) aspect of your life, attempting to establish yourself as an individual capable of self-governance is a fruitless endeavor.
.....
*puts down pen*
*gets up*
*goes outside*
*reads a book*
^This guy is god.
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Re: It's a matter of time
Thumbs up x6
by ~MP3 Amplifier~ » October 9th, 2013, 11:12 am
Hi Ayray..
Firstly I can't apologise enough for not contacting you the last month, tbh I've not been contacting anyone so please don't take it personally. I'm also currently in a bad place and y'know I've decided not to fight it but let it do it's thing. Not the best choice I know. I left you a message on skype too but that's only on my phone atm so I'm afraid I can't get on as much as I'd hoped.
Bro, you mean the world to me. I spent a lot of time on your last topic I know and I'm happy to do the same again here. I think it makes sense for me to hear you're bipolar as I noticed your ups and downs a lot and it really frightened me at the time because I didn't know how to help you. But this answers a lot.
I don't want to say that I feel sorry for you or that I am sorry for what's happening, as the word sorry will get us nowhere here. Neither do I have a solution but I'm hoping you won't give up as you fought and survived last time, and I believe you can do it again. As for your dad having cancer...words cannot express how much sadness even I feel in that. My best friend and living hope died of cancer and so did my nan who I miss dearly. But it's not the end- really, it isn't. While it's a heartbreaking disease, it's not a diagnosis of death. That's changed so much the past years, and the current standard of treatment is incredibly high no doubt. I wish for you and your family that you'll get the hope and everything else that you need in your lives right now as clearly this is not easy for anybody at this stage.
I know how you feel with losing so many important lives...a very very close person to me is also in high risk (cannot say who for privacy reasons) and it's deeply upsetting.
I love you dearly as a friend and I wish I could be strong enough to fight our battles and I wish I was just as enthusiastic about life as I was some months ago on your other topic. For people other than myself, I still am enthusiastic about life. But a lot is weighing me down so I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me before I burst out with energetic golden light.
As for the feeling of giving up on suicide, I've been through that stage too. It's hard but with time it can lead you in a healthier direction, if you are patient with it. (patience is really tough during mental illness though) As for preparing for what you might think is your own cancer, I can try to empathise. I was put in the same position once. (it's a long story but it ended well) Look I will really try to be with you every step of the way. Wish I could guarantee it too but well, please accept that I'll try my best. And please try not to self-diagnose something like cancer, the only way to know for sure is by seeing a doctor. It's good to get yourself prepared as it can be a scary diagnosis but try not to let it stress you. Right now we're not certain that's what you have.
Also I'm proud of you, believe it or not.
As for being optimistic I am totally improving upon that. No seriously I am. ;D
This may look like a fairly depressing post, but I'm just giving personal experience and support bro. It's never worth putting those memories to waste when they can be used to help somebody else. Even if they can be a little traumatic. :S
I wish everyone the best here! Honestly if there is anyone else going through similar pain right now and not sharing it, just read my posts as if they apply to you too. You all have a life ahead of you and you are still all so young. It's not time to quit just yet, let me tell you that now.
~Cait.
Firstly I can't apologise enough for not contacting you the last month, tbh I've not been contacting anyone so please don't take it personally. I'm also currently in a bad place and y'know I've decided not to fight it but let it do it's thing. Not the best choice I know. I left you a message on skype too but that's only on my phone atm so I'm afraid I can't get on as much as I'd hoped.
Bro, you mean the world to me. I spent a lot of time on your last topic I know and I'm happy to do the same again here. I think it makes sense for me to hear you're bipolar as I noticed your ups and downs a lot and it really frightened me at the time because I didn't know how to help you. But this answers a lot.
I don't want to say that I feel sorry for you or that I am sorry for what's happening, as the word sorry will get us nowhere here. Neither do I have a solution but I'm hoping you won't give up as you fought and survived last time, and I believe you can do it again. As for your dad having cancer...words cannot express how much sadness even I feel in that. My best friend and living hope died of cancer and so did my nan who I miss dearly. But it's not the end- really, it isn't. While it's a heartbreaking disease, it's not a diagnosis of death. That's changed so much the past years, and the current standard of treatment is incredibly high no doubt. I wish for you and your family that you'll get the hope and everything else that you need in your lives right now as clearly this is not easy for anybody at this stage.
I know how you feel with losing so many important lives...a very very close person to me is also in high risk (cannot say who for privacy reasons) and it's deeply upsetting.
I love you dearly as a friend and I wish I could be strong enough to fight our battles and I wish I was just as enthusiastic about life as I was some months ago on your other topic. For people other than myself, I still am enthusiastic about life. But a lot is weighing me down so I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me before I burst out with energetic golden light.
As for the feeling of giving up on suicide, I've been through that stage too. It's hard but with time it can lead you in a healthier direction, if you are patient with it. (patience is really tough during mental illness though) As for preparing for what you might think is your own cancer, I can try to empathise. I was put in the same position once. (it's a long story but it ended well) Look I will really try to be with you every step of the way. Wish I could guarantee it too but well, please accept that I'll try my best. And please try not to self-diagnose something like cancer, the only way to know for sure is by seeing a doctor. It's good to get yourself prepared as it can be a scary diagnosis but try not to let it stress you. Right now we're not certain that's what you have.
Also I'm proud of you, believe it or not.
As for being optimistic I am totally improving upon that. No seriously I am. ;D
This may look like a fairly depressing post, but I'm just giving personal experience and support bro. It's never worth putting those memories to waste when they can be used to help somebody else. Even if they can be a little traumatic. :S
I wish everyone the best here! Honestly if there is anyone else going through similar pain right now and not sharing it, just read my posts as if they apply to you too. You all have a life ahead of you and you are still all so young. It's not time to quit just yet, let me tell you that now.
~Cait.
The below image is a montage of my individual highest placing LDC creations, as a reminder to myself that level designing is a part of my life that I can't just leave behind
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Re: It's a matter of time
Thumbs up x2
by Doram » October 9th, 2013, 6:53 pm
Wow, Shade, if I knew I would get that kind of reaction, I would use my full vocabulary more often... 
So. *cough* Yeah. Keep it simple, and I would think it would be wise to avoid telling people to stop caring about their family members. Otherwise, good job.
Amp, I could not thumb your post up enough. Awesome. And speaking of which, I have not posted in this thread thus far because I saw other people doing a good job of giving advice. I'm proud of all of you.
And last, but not least, Ayrayen, it can't be said enough. Life can get better. You just need to not give up on it. Nothing lasts forever, including failure, and the only way to truly fail is to stop trying. You can do this. We believe in you, and we want to help. That's why we are all still posting here.
conversation with darthbrowser post 1: show
So. *cough* Yeah. Keep it simple, and I would think it would be wise to avoid telling people to stop caring about their family members. Otherwise, good job.
Amp, I could not thumb your post up enough. Awesome. And speaking of which, I have not posted in this thread thus far because I saw other people doing a good job of giving advice. I'm proud of all of you.
And last, but not least, Ayrayen, it can't be said enough. Life can get better. You just need to not give up on it. Nothing lasts forever, including failure, and the only way to truly fail is to stop trying. You can do this. We believe in you, and we want to help. That's why we are all still posting here.
Last edited by Doram on October 10th, 2013, 11:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Martin Luther King Jr. wrote:Man must evolve, for all human conflict, a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
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Re: It's a matter of time
by darthbrowser » October 9th, 2013, 10:39 pm
Doram has made a valid point about derailing Ayrayen's thread, and since he preserved my original post in his new thread, I shall remove this one because it is quite a text wall.
That said, until Doram invalidates my statements in discussion, my on-topic advice stands:
If you cannot negotiate civilly and effectively with your parents, there is little point in doing so. The best option appears to be distancing yourself from them. If they refuse to change, they cannot harm you, but the shock may very well force them to be open to the concept after all.
That said, until Doram invalidates my statements in discussion, my on-topic advice stands:
If you cannot negotiate civilly and effectively with your parents, there is little point in doing so. The best option appears to be distancing yourself from them. If they refuse to change, they cannot harm you, but the shock may very well force them to be open to the concept after all.
Last edited by darthbrowser on October 10th, 2013, 1:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: It's a matter of time
by MessengerOfDreams » October 9th, 2013, 10:47 pm
I just stopped at Amp's post. Just, how do you top that sort of beauty.
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Re: It's a matter of time
by ~MP3 Amplifier~ » October 10th, 2013, 12:32 am
Well, thank you. :3
I try my best to cheer people up, well I know there's a lot more to this than simply cheering Ayray up, but it's hard to watch somebody go through the pain that you've already gone through and you kind of wish that what helped you will help them too.
I spend a lot of effort in my post though and I know that all I needed when I was going through this was a friend or somebody who would understand. In the early days I had nobody, so now I make sure to be that 'somebody' as much as I can.
Thanks for the nice comments though.
I try my best to cheer people up, well I know there's a lot more to this than simply cheering Ayray up, but it's hard to watch somebody go through the pain that you've already gone through and you kind of wish that what helped you will help them too.
I spend a lot of effort in my post though and I know that all I needed when I was going through this was a friend or somebody who would understand. In the early days I had nobody, so now I make sure to be that 'somebody' as much as I can.
Thanks for the nice comments though.
The below image is a montage of my individual highest placing LDC creations, as a reminder to myself that level designing is a part of my life that I can't just leave behind
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Re: It's a matter of time
by Doram » October 10th, 2013, 11:05 am
You know what? I'm sorry for derailing this conversation slightly. This thread is about Ayrayen after all.
darthbrowser, follow me.
darthbrowser, follow me.
Martin Luther King Jr. wrote:Man must evolve, for all human conflict, a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
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Re: It's a matter of time
by Ayrayen » October 12th, 2013, 12:24 pm
I'm back for another short period of time to comment on what's been going on lately.
I will try to make this as formal as possible and clear for that matter.
Right now, i'm feeling sick, have had a lack of sleep,family's depressed & my father is feeling worse.
So.. yeah, I'm not going to care about spelling and all that ♥♥♥♥.
Hello there.
To begin with, you're a very strong individual. You hit rock bottom and worked yourself upwards, there's no doubt that you are someone to look up at as you've fought bravely through all those troubles.
And you also showed that it made results.
Now i want to make it clear, i'm still suicidal, but it has calmed down a bit for a reason that i do not want to speak about.
About self-diagnosing oneself, I agree, it is indeed silly and stupid.
That's why i'm going to the doctor on Monday, Two days left.
And to be honest, I believe i have cancer, and i'm prepared for the worst.
You have changed since the last time we spoke indeed, you seem a bit more optimistic.
I'm happy for you.
I hope everything's turning out well for ya'.
To be honest, i tried to follow the massive text wall you guys wrote.
I'm not gonna lie, i didn't understand ♥♥♥♥.
My vocabulary isn't very... good... or whatever...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now for personal oriented stuff....
What happened lately:
So my father has been feeling very very bad lately, it's after the surgery thingy.
Obviously this is all normal.
But due to some ♥♥♥ doctor who gave him the wrong Pills....
He's feeling even worse than he has too.
I'm way too exhausted to show any emotions at the moment, so i'll just keep it straight.
When it comes to my mom, she's obviously sad.
I'm acting as the one whom's shoulder can be cried on.
And you know what?
I don't know how to react when i see someone cry anymore.
So... How am i feeling?
Well.. I'm not going to hide it.
I'm very alone, and sad.
And i'm overly exhausted. Don't know why.
So yeah. I'll just move along and hope for the best.
~Ayrayen
I will try to make this as formal as possible and clear for that matter.
Right now, i'm feeling sick, have had a lack of sleep,family's depressed & my father is feeling worse.
So.. yeah, I'm not going to care about spelling and all that ♥♥♥♥.
~MP3 Amplifier~ wrote:Hi Ayray..
Firstly I can't apologise enough for not contacting you the last month, tbh I've not been contacting anyone so please don't take it personally. I'm also currently in a bad place and y'know I've decided not to fight it but let it do it's thing. Not the best choice I know. I left you a message on skype too but that's only on my phone atm so I'm afraid I can't get on as much as I'd hoped.
Bro, you mean the world to me. I spent a lot of time on your last topic I know and I'm happy to do the same again here. I think it makes sense for me to hear you're bipolar as I noticed your ups and downs a lot and it really frightened me at the time because I didn't know how to help you. But this answers a lot.
I don't want to say that I feel sorry for you or that I am sorry for what's happening, as the word sorry will get us nowhere here. Neither do I have a solution but I'm hoping you won't give up as you fought and survived last time, and I believe you can do it again. As for your dad having cancer...words cannot express how much sadness even I feel in that. My best friend and living hope died of cancer and so did my nan who I miss dearly. But it's not the end- really, it isn't. While it's a heartbreaking disease, it's not a diagnosis of death. That's changed so much the past years, and the current standard of treatment is incredibly high no doubt. I wish for you and your family that you'll get the hope and everything else that you need in your lives right now as clearly this is not easy for anybody at this stage.
I know how you feel with losing so many important lives...a very very close person to me is also in high risk (cannot say who for privacy reasons) and it's deeply upsetting.
I love you dearly as a friend and I wish I could be strong enough to fight our battles and I wish I was just as enthusiastic about life as I was some months ago on your other topic. For people other than myself, I still am enthusiastic about life. But a lot is weighing me down so I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me before I burst out with energetic golden light. :3
As for the feeling of giving up on suicide, I've been through that stage too. It's hard but with time it can lead you in a healthier direction, if you are patient with it. (patience is really tough during mental illness though) As for preparing for what you might think is your own cancer, I can try to empathise. I was put in the same position once. (it's a long story but it ended well) Look I will really try to be with you every step of the way. Wish I could guarantee it too but well, please accept that I'll try my best. And please try not to self-diagnose something like cancer, the only way to know for sure is by seeing a doctor. It's good to get yourself prepared as it can be a scary diagnosis but try not to let it stress you. Right now we're not certain that's what you have.
Also I'm proud of you, believe it or not.
As for being optimistic I am totally improving upon that. No seriously I am. ;D
This may look like a fairly depressing post, but I'm just giving personal experience and support bro. It's never worth putting those memories to waste when they can be used to help somebody else. Even if they can be a little traumatic. :S
I wish everyone the best here! Honestly if there is anyone else going through similar pain right now and not sharing it, just read my posts as if they apply to you too. You all have a life ahead of you and you are still all so young. It's not time to quit just yet, let me tell you that now.
~Cait.
Hello there.
To begin with, you're a very strong individual. You hit rock bottom and worked yourself upwards, there's no doubt that you are someone to look up at as you've fought bravely through all those troubles.
And you also showed that it made results.
Now i want to make it clear, i'm still suicidal, but it has calmed down a bit for a reason that i do not want to speak about.
About self-diagnosing oneself, I agree, it is indeed silly and stupid.
That's why i'm going to the doctor on Monday, Two days left.
And to be honest, I believe i have cancer, and i'm prepared for the worst.
You have changed since the last time we spoke indeed, you seem a bit more optimistic.
I'm happy for you.
I hope everything's turning out well for ya'.
darthbrowser wrote:Doram has made a valid point about derailing Ayrayen's thread, and since he preserved my original post in his new thread, I shall remove this one because it is quite a text wall.
That said, until Doram invalidates my statements in discussion, my on-topic advice stands:
If you cannot negotiate civilly and effectively with your parents, there is little point in doing so. The best option appears to be distancing yourself from them. If they refuse to change, they cannot harm you, but the shock may very well force them to be open to the concept after all.
To be honest, i tried to follow the massive text wall you guys wrote.
I'm not gonna lie, i didn't understand ♥♥♥♥.
My vocabulary isn't very... good... or whatever...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now for personal oriented stuff....
What happened lately:
So my father has been feeling very very bad lately, it's after the surgery thingy.
Obviously this is all normal.
But due to some ♥♥♥ doctor who gave him the wrong Pills....
He's feeling even worse than he has too.
I'm way too exhausted to show any emotions at the moment, so i'll just keep it straight.
When it comes to my mom, she's obviously sad.
I'm acting as the one whom's shoulder can be cried on.
And you know what?
I don't know how to react when i see someone cry anymore.
So... How am i feeling?
Well.. I'm not going to hide it.
I'm very alone, and sad.
And i'm overly exhausted. Don't know why.
So yeah. I'll just move along and hope for the best.
~Ayrayen
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Re: It's a matter of time
by Dtroid » October 13th, 2013, 1:12 am
I believe you'll pull through. It's a good thing you're getting optimistic. Though I know I'm not really much help,I'm hoping your family pulls through,and live life to the fullest.
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