runouw.com

I'm not always that wall of text guy. But it's one of these topics affecting me on a personal level. So I'm certainly talking more about this. Also want to talk to you as much as possible. (tbh. I did never know if you notice my posts as you never replied to them. : 3)

I feel like I need alone time. Maybe it... can...

I'm far too tired to try and get into this now, nor do I think I really have any good answers to your question. All I have to suggest is this: you're presumably in college at 21, yes? A lot of colleges and universities offer counseling services to students, oftentimes for free. You might want to look into whether that's an option for you. Even if you don't have a well-defined problem, you have nothing to lose by taking advantage of free support, and there's no shame in doing so. It certainly can't hurt, and it very well may help. So, something to consider.

Trippy J wrote:It sometimes feels like cartoons and such did this to me. Why the ♥♥♥♥ does the writer have to torture their characters? Why insult them? How is it funny when somebody loses a duel/battle?

Well, okay, if we're going to use cartoons as an example let's first analyze them.

Have you ever played a game called Team Fortress 2? Like a lot of FPS games, when you die you respawn, with no scratches on you or anything. Sure you might carry on the agony of that one guy taunting you after he beat your brains in, but personally that's one of the joys of cartoons - after a character gets totally trashed/humiliated, everything resets back to normal as if it never happened (though sometimes cartoons like Calvin & Hobbes will take past events and imply/make fun of them in future ones). It's because nothing is permanent - Wily Coyote getting an anvil dropped on his head happened there, and is completely removed some minutes after. So long as nobody gets seriously mauled or hurt permanently it's all in good comedy.

This effect is better shown in Bug Bunny where he plays dead when Elmer shoots, surprising Elmer into actually thinking he killed Bugs.

But yeah, I dunno. With regards to the original point at hand, at first I thought there would be practically no reason to live if all of your work would just go by forgotten, but then I learned about a thing called History. Influence is a strong thing, and as long as you play safe with it and encourage positive influence to the best of your abilities, then you might as well live until you die naturally of age. Plus, the best part is you don't have to do it alone. Or if you want you could. But it's all your choice.

Choices are fun, really.

Trippy J wrote:I'm the epitome of lazy. I might even have reached the pinnacle. I've been doing nothing but school and video games for nearly my entire life. "Trying new things" and "leaving my comfort zone" isn't always easy. Sometimes it feels impossible.
I am 21. This started sometime around age 4 or 5. I am obsessed. I am obsessed. I am obsessed. I want to change it, but I'm never willing. It always gives me comfort away from reality.

I can understand where you're coming from with this. For some, finding out what it is you want to do as your main goal in life is harder than it would be for others. Even if you do figure out what it is you truly want to do, sometimes you'll find yourself struggling to pry yourself away from the things you find comfort in temporarily to make progress in what it is you might want to do in life, regardless of how small that thing might be.

I've tried to convince myself that I need to put aside time for things that matter to my life more than play games 24/7, but still saving time to do things that I used to love doing. It's harder to find the time to work on something that might be a part of your future than it would be to just stick with what you've always done and never move on. Even so, sometimes I can't convince myself to work on paintings and such, as I find myself playing games with friends, and watching Youtube 70% of the time. (damned thing is a literal time-sink)

Which leads me to wonder, what if all that really matters to me is enjoying playing a few good games with a couple of friends, and nothing more? Sure, I'd need to be able to get some sort of job, but all that really matters in the end is that I have a good laugh with a few of my friends when things have cooled down and I have the time.

TL;DR: My point being that there's no telling what it is you want to do, or if you even want to pursue a dream career or a massive hobby or merely live a simple life. It's been mentioned before already, I'm not the first to mention it, but you are the only person who can define what it is you want to do in life. Of course you'd have to work some sort of job and deal with everyday stuff like bills and such, but all that matters is that you find the time to enjoy what you care about, and not worry about what it is other people do and the impacts they might make doing what they want to do.

I'll rewrite the question.

What do you want to do in life?

As nin10mode said, it's what you make of it.
Life may not have a purpose or goal.
But we might find interesting things along the way.

And also, when you said "No. I'm not going to kill myself. Don't assume so. This isn't a cliche."
I wouldn't go as far as calling it "Cliché", as it is a serious matter nonetheless. Nobody really cares if it's "Cliche" if it's life threatening.
Thought i'd point that out.

I'm fine right now. I've just been heavily depressed for a while. Dunno why.

Restated: I'm fine, and I think this can be closed. When I'm depressed, I can be irrational. (Note: I'm not at college, and I'm not really sure if I'll be able to handle it in the future. Thought I'd make that known.)

Anyways, thanks to all of you for the support! :>


(Also, I apologize if this particular post sounded at all snappy. Just noticed it may.)

you don't have to apologize about anything

only this quote matters:

“Life is a play that does not allow testing. So, sing, cry, dance, laugh and live intensely, before the curtain closes and the piece ends with no applause.”~Charles Chaplin

For me your post was fully authentic, and I couldn't get around to write some heartening words for you. If you have a bad time, you have a bad time, and as you see it makes things better to talk to other people instead of keeping it to yourself. Thank god you're fine right now, that's very pleasing

oh and congratz to FF for veteranship D: