The past couple of years

[Charcoal]

I don't how to describe it very well, but I've been depressed over the past couple of years.

I've been too shy of talking to people, specifically asking someone out. I've doubted myself: doubted that I would do well no matter what test, or event it was. I've been afraid of trying because I thought what was the point if I didn't know what would happen. I've been afraid of failure, and hated myself for failing and couldn't move on from it. I never gave any of my successes another thought; they just moved on from my life. So that's been going on.

I've also stopped caring about myself and the world. I've been empty-hearted. I've felt like I've lost all hope for myself. My reality is basically warped.

I know this sounds weird because I was a happy guy back then, but I've changed.I wish I could be as happy and tranquil as I was back then. I don't know if I can ever change again to be positive again. I've tried, but I get brought back down again.

I've also been looking at other people's accomplishments. I see my peers at school with a car and a date. In art, I see better drawings than what I have, and it somewhat discourages me.

I've been struggling to study. I can't concentrate on reading a chapter of a textbook once or twice a week. It bores me. I don't learn a lot from it. I fail because of it, but I can't seem to find alternative routes; and I feel like giving up.

All in all, I have been struggling to return to the positive and I have been depressed. And I've had a lack of faith in myself. I don't know why this is happening to me. I made pretty good SM63 levels when I was on here back then, so why am I not taking those accomplishments into consideration and having a happy and healthy lifestyle because of it? I don't know.

This may sound weird or it's worded weird. I understand. As someone with Asperger's, communicating is by far the hardest thing I can ever do.

EDIT: The major issue now is trying to keep going when I feel like I have absolutely no willpower left.

[Harmless]

This post by Harmless was thumbed up by:

Oranjui (September 22nd, 2015, 9:05 pm)

[Karyete]

I've also been looking at other people's accomplishments. I see my peers at school with a car and a date. In art, I see better drawings than what I have, and it somewhat discourages me.

I do this a lot too, but I'm learning to try and sidestep it. I've been told I have very little self-confidence, but nonetheless, I still keep at what I do, and I reckon you should do the same. Eventually, you'll get out of this phase. Don't focus on what others have achieved, focus on what you have and what you want to do.

When I do something, and I see impressive results from somebody else (let's take a piece of art, for example), I try not to think "I'm never gonna be as good as them". Instead, I look at what they've done and how they've done it, then I learn from that. So if someone's drawn a fantastic drawing of, let's say, a bird, I see how they've gone about drawing it and I learn from it.

[~MP3 Amplifier~]

I won't say a lot because sometimes I think being concise can be better than being overly detailed. But the world has 7 billion people in it, in that 7 billion, there's always going to be someone better or worse than you. So comparing yourself is only going to hurt you and no-one else. Be an individual and be proud of what you have achieved. People in my classes at school left with A-A* grades and I didn't, but I know I did what I was personally capable of and that made me happy.

Also, high-five, I have Asperger's too. It is a pain in the ♥♥♥ when it wants to be but you can also make it a gift. Let me tell you now, ASD is the only condition I have that comes with a lot of legit perks, so I say use them! People like us can pick up skills very quick when they find something they're deeply interested in. I'm sure there's something out there for you.

[Charcoal]

Asperger's can be a blessing, and I ought to consider the good aspects that have come out of it rather than dwell on the drawbacks of it.

[Doram]

This post by NanTheDark was thumbed up by:

Doram (October 4th, 2015, 7:05 am)

[Charcoal]

All of that is really good advice. Thank you.

You're usually better than you think you are.

Yep. Just today I ran in a 5K. There were SOOO many people I thought I was going to get a slower time than my record. Nope, I set another record for myself. I completely underestimate myself at times when I shouldn't.

It's nice to see you again around these parts, my fellow Dark one.

Nice to see you too.

[NanTheDark]

All of that is really good advice. Thank you.

I'm glad to hear you found my advice helpful

Remember, we're always here for you if you want to talk or whatever.

And keep running. It's very good exercise. Increases your stamina and stuff. (incredibly technical terminology)

[Raz]

Dude, if you can run a 5k you're already better than most people.

[Charcoal]

Dude, if you can run a 5k you're already better than most people.

Haha. I'll keep that in mind