Marc Picard, 18, born in a hospital in Los Angeles. Used to live in Socal for a couple of years until family moved up north when I was 3-4. Ended up living in Pacific Groove for a couple of years, then somewhere a little more up north where I somehow forgot the name of (but it's still on the tip of my tongue), then I went sailing for a year, and then ended up in Santa Cruz for some 7-8 years until I was forced to move out.
I can't really say my backstory is all too great. Granted there's probably people who's had it worse than me, but my family situation is extremely complicated. I'll leave it at this; My mother and father had it really rough. Looking back on it, it's a miracle they managed to keep a smile around me and my sister while we were growing up. They also divorced really early, but I'll talk about that later.
I grew up as a really quiet individual, despite all of my screaming as a baby (that's what I was told anyway). Whenever I did talk, I would just stop early. I think my thought process at the time was just me thinking I was just an immature baby who shouldn't embarrass themselves anymore. Something along those lines, anyway.
Somehow I was able to read sheet music without even being taught how to read clefs and notes. I learned music theory, playing the Piano, and Cello extremely quickly. It astounds me even today how I was able to just naturally get it. The same goes for video games - give my 4 year old me Mario Kart and he will be every single cup in less than a couple of hours, in every single engine class. Give him Super Mario 64 and he'll get 80 stars in less than a couple of days. Give him Chess and he will form a strategy very quickly. Of course, give me those things now and I'll do much better than my 4 year old self did.
Give my 4 year old self potty training lessons and he'll completely fail though. That is, unless if you have his parents bribe him to go on the toilet on his own if he wants to play Mario Kart 64 again. Yes, this actually happened, and I got potty trained in less than a week.
But that's where the good part ends. I seem to have the worst luck with attracting bullies and trying to socialize with others, because I got bullied every single day I was at school. This isn't an exaggeration, either. I can rarely count exceptions in school where I wasn't bullied, looked down on, or ostracized, except for 10th grade and maybe a couple of times when I was home schooled in middle school.
I only really started making friends in 2nd grade (who I had to say goodbye to when I moved to Santa Cruz a year later), a couple of instances in 4th grade (which was still absolute hell), and when I started talking to people on the internet. It's a miracle I even have friends period. I used to be very lax and easygoing as a kid, until the bullying caused me to have a bit of a short temper. The worst part is it's pure reaction if I get upset at someone or want to punch someone's face in, as horrible as that sounds. Believe me, I've been trying to stay calmer for the past 11 years now. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't do a thing. Though I guess when you have early divorcing, physical abuse, childhood (and teenage) trauma, and more growing up, it's hard not to feel anguish from time to time.
Here's a secret I don't tell a lot of people: I've attempted suicide over 40 times throughout my life, most of it in secret of course. Only recently has this rate been slowing down. Why every single time was unsuccessful I really don't understand. Maybe I'm just terrible at killing myself or something. Back then, my mental condition was kind of screwed up, though it has gotten much better and I am no longer suicidal.
Anyways, up until a year ago my family used to have at least one parent stay in Santa Cruz so I could keep attending a rather decent high school in the area. However, they both decided to move away at the same time. Mother went to Oakland, Father planned to move to somewhere in Walnut Creek (which is a nice area but there's no high school that's even remotely close there). Both are pretty terrible options for someone who wants to stay relatively close to Santa Cruz.
Being thrown in such a horribly sticky situation, I had no choice but to attempt to graduate early by achieving my high school diploma two grades ahead of me - not because I'm a braniac, but because I really had no choice. So I took the CHSPE and managed to get enrolled into Cabrillo college, convincing my Father to stay at least in Felton.
So, that's where I'm at now. Things have been getting more or less better, and I've been getting better at socializing (somewhat). Relationships between my divorced parents still suck though.
Nonetheless, I still try to be happy when I can. I can laugh at a lot of things, and find a lot of things amusing given the right context. I know, from what you've read I would normally sound like a total stick in the mud, but I can enjoy a good time. I promise.
Posted: April 5th, 2016, 5:45 pm