I've been on Raz's topic discussing religion and I mentioned "being positive" in one of my posts.
So now I'm wondering just what exactly is the whole point of being positive?
How do I stay that way during rough times? If I lose a loved one, or if I get a bad test score or flunk out, or I end up homeless, how do I still keep a positive attitude? Those situations seem to just completely reject positivity? How do you stay happy when ♥♥♥♥ is being thrown in your face?
That's what I want to know: how do you avoid negative emotion or thought when negative events happen?
Question about Positivity
Forum rules
This is Serious Discussion. If you want to tell us how your day was or just get some things off your chest, you will find ample opportunity to find a corner to discuss all the good things we see, or reach out to anyone who needs help. Just remember to pay attention to the Principles of Serious Discussion, and link to the source if posting news.
This is Serious Discussion. If you want to tell us how your day was or just get some things off your chest, you will find ample opportunity to find a corner to discuss all the good things we see, or reach out to anyone who needs help. Just remember to pay attention to the Principles of Serious Discussion, and link to the source if posting news.
Re: Question about Positivity
by ~MP3 Amplifier~ » October 18th, 2015, 12:57 pm
I always think 'it could be worse', because its true. I'm more of a realist than anything so I don't believe in lying. But its a fact that there is always a way that it could be worse, and its much more constructive to think about the good things than the bad.
If you just think negative all the time then you'll only be more likely to give up. And what does giving up lead to? Losing out on your goals. So I think positivity is important, but I don't agree with hiding behind it.
If you just think negative all the time then you'll only be more likely to give up. And what does giving up lead to? Losing out on your goals. So I think positivity is important, but I don't agree with hiding behind it.
The below image is a montage of my individual highest placing LDC creations, as a reminder to myself that level designing is a part of my life that I can't just leave behind
-
~MP3 Amplifier~ - THE DARK LAMP
Error contacting Twitter - Posts: 4383
- Joined: May 6th, 2011, 12:35 pm
- Location: Maaars d(^_^)b
SM63 Level Designer Contest Winner - Thumbs Up given: 226 times
- Thumbs Up received: 611 times
Re: Question about Positivity
Thumbs up x1 
by Oranjui » October 18th, 2015, 1:37 pm
Also, this only applies to some situations, but you could try to start thinking of things like when you get a bad test score or you embarrass yourself as a learning experience instead of something to be ashamed of. There's always room to improve and it's better to focus on how you can accomplish that than it is to focus on how badly you messed up.
-
Oranjui - Minister of Oerhaos
- Posts: 1914
- Joined: June 26th, 2010, 6:49 am
Runolympics 2015 MVP - Thumbs Up given: 388 times
- Thumbs Up received: 188 times
Re: Question about Positivity
by Charcoal » October 18th, 2015, 1:46 pm
Oranjui wrote:you could try to start thinking of things like when you get a bad test score or you embarrass yourself as a learning experience instead of something to be ashamed of.
That's what my Calculus teacher has been telling me as well. What I struggle with that is I'll be thinking something like "Well, how do I learn from it? How do I not feel ashamed about it? I really want to do well, and failing is just going to bring be back down!" I'll think those kinds of thoughts. Also, I might be stressing myself out WAY too much, maybe even to the point of potentially harming myself (which is kind of stupid to do).
-
Charcoal - Prophet of Shadowsquid
- Posts: 1171
- Joined: March 20th, 2011, 1:40 pm
- Location: Valentia
SM63 Level Designer Contest Winner - Thumbs Up given: 49 times
- Thumbs Up received: 77 times
Re: Question about Positivity
Thumbs up x2
by Doram » October 18th, 2015, 10:36 pm
The thing is, it's purely a matter of perspective. If you can find the right perspective, you can change the way you think about things.
You lose your keys, and spend the next 20 minutes looking for them, and then get caught in some bad traffic, only to end up being late for work. When you see the news later that day, you find out that there was a terrible accident, involving a bunch of people, right on your way to work. If you had left on time, you would have been involved in the accident, and could have been hurt or worse. Technically, losing your keys and being late for work was a good thing, in that case.
Bad things happen in life, and they are not always about you. Moreover, everything happens for a reason, whether you understand that reason or not. Believe that, and you can build up a little faith in the universe, and give your mind the pivot point it needs to swing around and see the bright side of the situation, and understand that you are going to be ok, and that as long as you are always trying your best, there is no more that the universe can ask of you.
And, failure is not bad. Failure is instructive. Failure is progress, because now, you can cross that off the list of possibilities as something that doesn't work, and you are one step closer to success. Eliminate all the possibilities that don't work, and you will be left with only the possibilities that DO work. That's the very definition of learning.
As I said to Triple J once, as a baby, you do not stand up and walk the first time. You prop yourself up, and fall over. You prop yourself up and hold yourself there, and fall over. You prop yourself up, and you hold yourself there, and manage to haul yourself up on your feet, and fall over. You prop yourself up, manage to haul yourself up on your feet, and hold yourself for a bit, and fall over. You prop yourself up, manage to haul yourself up on your feet, hold yourself there for a bit, and move your legs again, and fall over. You try, and try, and try, and try, and try, and try, and don't think about the fact that you still have to try, and try, and try, and try, and don't care who's watching, and try, and try, and try, and try, and get bored of trying for a while, and then go back and try, and try, and try, and try, until you do it. And you still screw up sometimes, so you get back up and try again. I hate the fact that bad parenting beats that can-do attitude out of us, but it does, far too often. You can do it! You CAN do it! YOU can do it! You can DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! I believe in you.
EDIT: I also realize that self-talk is really hard to deal with. That little voice in your head that tells you that you just screwed up bad, and there's no way to fix this, and you're going to be in trouble, and people will be mad at you, and blah blah blah poison mean angry depressed blahblahblah. The only real solution is understanding the situation enough to be able to explain to that voice that it's actually going to be ok, really, or just plain old-fashioned learn to ignore that voice.
Sometimes, especially if it's particularly mean, the ignore option is the best one. Other times, a bit of subtle reprogramming is best. Learning to ignore it is a matter of just calming yourself, and finding some silence. You can envision a blank piece of paper in your mind, and concentrate on how empty and plain and blank it is, until everything else fades away. Listening to some positive music that you like, and drowning it out that way is another option. Reprogramming is a matter of finding a good positive thing, and repeating it to yourself at every opportunity. If that doesn't drive the point home, you can write the positive affirmation on a bunch of scraps of paper (post-its work beautifully for this), and put them all over your living space, especially in places that you look often (near the handles of doors, right above your desk, on the mirror in your bathroom, etc) so that you can read it repeatedly. You can also literally stare yourself in the mirror and tell yourself the positive thing. The ultimate goal of all this being that you are putting the positive thought into your subconscious, where it can serve as the fertile ground for other positive things to grow, and getting rid of the negative things in there that are holding you back.
You lose your keys, and spend the next 20 minutes looking for them, and then get caught in some bad traffic, only to end up being late for work. When you see the news later that day, you find out that there was a terrible accident, involving a bunch of people, right on your way to work. If you had left on time, you would have been involved in the accident, and could have been hurt or worse. Technically, losing your keys and being late for work was a good thing, in that case.
Bad things happen in life, and they are not always about you. Moreover, everything happens for a reason, whether you understand that reason or not. Believe that, and you can build up a little faith in the universe, and give your mind the pivot point it needs to swing around and see the bright side of the situation, and understand that you are going to be ok, and that as long as you are always trying your best, there is no more that the universe can ask of you.
And, failure is not bad. Failure is instructive. Failure is progress, because now, you can cross that off the list of possibilities as something that doesn't work, and you are one step closer to success. Eliminate all the possibilities that don't work, and you will be left with only the possibilities that DO work. That's the very definition of learning.
As I said to Triple J once, as a baby, you do not stand up and walk the first time. You prop yourself up, and fall over. You prop yourself up and hold yourself there, and fall over. You prop yourself up, and you hold yourself there, and manage to haul yourself up on your feet, and fall over. You prop yourself up, manage to haul yourself up on your feet, and hold yourself for a bit, and fall over. You prop yourself up, manage to haul yourself up on your feet, hold yourself there for a bit, and move your legs again, and fall over. You try, and try, and try, and try, and try, and try, and don't think about the fact that you still have to try, and try, and try, and try, and don't care who's watching, and try, and try, and try, and try, and get bored of trying for a while, and then go back and try, and try, and try, and try, until you do it. And you still screw up sometimes, so you get back up and try again. I hate the fact that bad parenting beats that can-do attitude out of us, but it does, far too often. You can do it! You CAN do it! YOU can do it! You can DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! I believe in you.
EDIT: I also realize that self-talk is really hard to deal with. That little voice in your head that tells you that you just screwed up bad, and there's no way to fix this, and you're going to be in trouble, and people will be mad at you, and blah blah blah poison mean angry depressed blahblahblah. The only real solution is understanding the situation enough to be able to explain to that voice that it's actually going to be ok, really, or just plain old-fashioned learn to ignore that voice.
Sometimes, especially if it's particularly mean, the ignore option is the best one. Other times, a bit of subtle reprogramming is best. Learning to ignore it is a matter of just calming yourself, and finding some silence. You can envision a blank piece of paper in your mind, and concentrate on how empty and plain and blank it is, until everything else fades away. Listening to some positive music that you like, and drowning it out that way is another option. Reprogramming is a matter of finding a good positive thing, and repeating it to yourself at every opportunity. If that doesn't drive the point home, you can write the positive affirmation on a bunch of scraps of paper (post-its work beautifully for this), and put them all over your living space, especially in places that you look often (near the handles of doors, right above your desk, on the mirror in your bathroom, etc) so that you can read it repeatedly. You can also literally stare yourself in the mirror and tell yourself the positive thing. The ultimate goal of all this being that you are putting the positive thought into your subconscious, where it can serve as the fertile ground for other positive things to grow, and getting rid of the negative things in there that are holding you back.
Martin Luther King Jr. wrote:Man must evolve, for all human conflict, a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
-
Doram - Global Moderator
- Posts: 1524
- Joined: February 22nd, 2010, 7:37 pm
- Location: Wherever I'm needed.
Cookie - Thumbs Up given: 153 times
- Thumbs Up received: 471 times
5 posts
• Page 1 of 1