Get Things Off of Your Chest

[NanTheDark]

I don't like to walk around town and walk by a couple eating each other's face out. I mean, gross, get a freaking room That kind of stuff should be done in private.

[Oranjui]

I think it depends on the context. I was walking at a park a year or two ago when a storm suddenly rolled in out of nowhere, and on the way back out of the park, I stumbled across a couple making out in the rain on the side of a bridge that went along the path over a stream. It looked pretty damn romantic and adorable. But I agree otherwise, because when I'm just walking down the street (or even down the hallway at school, ffs), PDA is a little uncomfortable/awkward to watch.

Anyway, I usually don't have much in the way of advice, but sometimes I think people should reevaluate their priorities when they become obsessed with finding a girlfriend/boyfriend to the point where it's literally uncomfortable to just talk to people they could potentially be interested in (unless that's just a teenager stereotype from media?). This is just speculation on my part, but I think a lot of that drive stems from peer/media/societal pressure and norms--which you don't need to force yourself to conform to. Maybe I don't understand because I'm pretty extremely introverted (in the sense of feeling drained/irritable in others' presence) and have been overall pretty solitary for most of my life, but it seems to me that life doesn't have to be miserable solely because of things like that, when there are so many better things to worry about and spend time caring about--things for which you don't even necessarily need the company of others (certainly not a significant other) to pursue. Unless that's just me, I guess.

That's not to say I don't think it would be nice to have some sort of SO at some point in my life; I just don't see the point in preoccupying myself with a mission to accomplish that, because having developed 1-2 close friendships is more than enough for me, and it feels more personally fulfilling than trying to date random strangers just for the sake of "finding the right one".

...Was this post too angsty? I think the main point I was trying to make is that it's OK to be single, and even to own that title.

[Charcoal]

Nonono, it's just...I stopped caring about dating a while ago, but I carried that pain with me from sophomore year to now. I have been obsessing over winning in Smash 4 and trying to do well. One loss or mess up or SD, and I thought I looked bad. I'm too scared and shy to talk to people in my local Smash scene in fear of not getting ignored, or disliked by them.

[Karyete]

Getting my GCSE results tomorrow. Not exactly nervous but I really hate waiting to find out how badly I've ♥♥♥♥ up.

Also my school's ♥♥♥♥, I don't want to go back.

[Doram]

I just want to say that dating is awkward and difficult no matter how much experience you have. I'm almost 40 and divorced, and I have just as much trouble walking up to someone that I think is pretty as I did as a teenager. The only difference is that I don't have any of the worry about whether I'm capable or gonna screw up from gross lack of knowledge. That first step is just bloody scary, though, and no amount of experience is gonna change that. It's a risk, plain and simple. And rejection doesn't feel any less crappy further down the road, either.

All that aside, when it works, it's a miracle, and when it's good, it's great. There's nothing in the world quite like having that kind of connection with someone. It's amazing and absorbing and transcendent. The connection you have with that person is a thousand times more intense than with anyone else, and it is no wonder that many times the couple act like nobody else in the world exists.

I'll admit that, being single, I'll feel a jab of jealousy, with a light peppering of frustration (with a nasty aftertaste of despair at loss), when confronted with others who are deep in the thrall and going at it with wild abandon, but I do not begrudge them their happiness, either. If anything, I try to take a bit of hope that there is some of that out there for me somewhere, and that I just have to find it. And, same as all of you, I tame the loneliness a bit by spending time with good friends, and working on whatever projects seem worthwhile at the time. Oh, and Steven Universe. LOTS of Steven Universe...

[Harmless]

I have been obsessing over winning in Smash 4 and trying to do well. One loss or mess up or SD, and I thought I looked bad. I'm too scared and shy to talk to people in my local Smash scene in fear of not getting ignored, or disliked by them.

Coming from someone who has been ridiculed by half of my local scene because I believe Melee Kirby is B tier, really just don't worry about making yourself look bad from losing. This might just be me personally, but losing is completely natural. Sure, getting bodied is no fun, but neither would be winning all the time. Mang0, one of the greatest Melee players of all time, has also had his moments where his placings in tourney were completely inconsistent with his past achievements (placing 17th at HTC Throwdown, or aka "going out like a buster").

Just play whoever you have the most fun with, and play whatever you have the most fun with (doesn't even need to be a smash game). You'll only look bad if you allow yourself to look bad. And believe me, I've experienced some pretty salty people before, not just in smash.

As for lack of ability to talk with others or socialize, well... just talk. You can't do something well if you don't practice it. Two years ago I wouldn't be able to hold up a conversation to save my life. Over those two years I started talking with people and just trying out conversations, even if they didn't end well. Eventually, now I'm at a point where I can in fact hold a conversation to save my life. No, it didn't take a short amount of time at all to become more comfortable with talking.

Just try it is all I'm saying really.


(edit: I don't have much dating advice, but you might've found someone you can connect to if you enjoy talking with them a lot. That's all I can say really.)

[Oranjui]

Oh, and Steven Universe. LOTS of Steven Universe...

same. This show has literally changed my outlook on life in more than a few ways.

Also, any of you can come onto chat whenever you want, and sometimes people are even up for voice chat, if that helps at all.

And good luck Kary <3

[Kimonio]

This post by Kimonio was thumbed up by:

l.m (August 27th, 2016, 5:48 am)

[Doram]

Oh, and smile. It's amazing how much it can help ANY situation.

[MessengerOfDreams]

This post by MessengerOfDreams was thumbed up by:

Karyete (September 2nd, 2016, 3:21 am)