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I don't like to walk around town and walk by a couple eating each other's face out. I mean, gross, get a freaking room That kind of stuff should be done in private.

I think it depends on the context. I was walking at a park a year or two ago when a storm suddenly rolled in out of nowhere, and on the way back out of the park, I stumbled across a couple making out in the rain on the side of a bridge that went along the path over a stream. It looked pretty damn romantic and adorable. But I agree otherwise, because when I'm just walking down the street (or even down the hallway at school, ffs), PDA is a little uncomfortable/awkward to watch.

Anyway, I usually don't have much in the way of advice, but sometimes I think people should reevaluate their priorities when they become obsessed with finding a girlfriend/boyfriend to the point where it's literally uncomfortable to just talk to people they could potentially be interested in (unless that's just a teenager stereotype from media?). This is just speculation on my part, but I think a lot of that drive stems from peer/media/societal pressure and norms--which you don't need to force yourself to conform to. Maybe I don't understand because I'm pretty extremely introverted (in the sense of feeling drained/irritable in others' presence) and have been overall pretty solitary for most of my life, but it seems to me that life doesn't have to be miserable solely because of things like that, when there are so many better things to worry about and spend time caring about--things for which you don't even necessarily need the company of others (certainly not a significant other) to pursue. Unless that's just me, I guess.

That's not to say I don't think it would be nice to have some sort of SO at some point in my life; I just don't see the point in preoccupying myself with a mission to accomplish that, because having developed 1-2 close friendships is more than enough for me, and it feels more personally fulfilling than trying to date random strangers just for the sake of "finding the right one".

...Was this post too angsty? I think the main point I was trying to make is that it's OK to be single, and even to own that title.

Nonono, it's just...I stopped caring about dating a while ago, but I carried that pain with me from sophomore year to now. I have been obsessing over winning in Smash 4 and trying to do well. One loss or mess up or SD, and I thought I looked bad. I'm too scared and shy to talk to people in my local Smash scene in fear of not getting ignored, or disliked by them.

Getting my GCSE results tomorrow. Not exactly nervous but I really hate waiting to find out how badly I've ♥♥♥♥ up.

Also my school's ♥♥♥♥, I don't want to go back.

I just want to say that dating is awkward and difficult no matter how much experience you have. I'm almost 40 and divorced, and I have just as much trouble walking up to someone that I think is pretty as I did as a teenager. The only difference is that I don't have any of the worry about whether I'm capable or gonna screw up from gross lack of knowledge. That first step is just bloody scary, though, and no amount of experience is gonna change that. It's a risk, plain and simple. And rejection doesn't feel any less crappy further down the road, either.

All that aside, when it works, it's a miracle, and when it's good, it's great. There's nothing in the world quite like having that kind of connection with someone. It's amazing and absorbing and transcendent. The connection you have with that person is a thousand times more intense than with anyone else, and it is no wonder that many times the couple act like nobody else in the world exists.

I'll admit that, being single, I'll feel a jab of jealousy, with a light peppering of frustration (with a nasty aftertaste of despair at loss), when confronted with others who are deep in the thrall and going at it with wild abandon, but I do not begrudge them their happiness, either. If anything, I try to take a bit of hope that there is some of that out there for me somewhere, and that I just have to find it. And, same as all of you, I tame the loneliness a bit by spending time with good friends, and working on whatever projects seem worthwhile at the time. Oh, and Steven Universe. LOTS of Steven Universe...

Vesoralla wrote:I have been obsessing over winning in Smash 4 and trying to do well. One loss or mess up or SD, and I thought I looked bad. I'm too scared and shy to talk to people in my local Smash scene in fear of not getting ignored, or disliked by them.

Coming from someone who has been ridiculed by half of my local scene because I believe Melee Kirby is B tier, really just don't worry about making yourself look bad from losing. This might just be me personally, but losing is completely natural. Sure, getting bodied is no fun, but neither would be winning all the time. Mang0, one of the greatest Melee players of all time, has also had his moments where his placings in tourney were completely inconsistent with his past achievements (placing 17th at HTC Throwdown, or aka "going out like a buster").

Just play whoever you have the most fun with, and play whatever you have the most fun with (doesn't even need to be a smash game). You'll only look bad if you allow yourself to look bad. And believe me, I've experienced some pretty salty people before, not just in smash.

As for lack of ability to talk with others or socialize, well... just talk. You can't do something well if you don't practice it. Two years ago I wouldn't be able to hold up a conversation to save my life. Over those two years I started talking with people and just trying out conversations, even if they didn't end well. Eventually, now I'm at a point where I can in fact hold a conversation to save my life. No, it didn't take a short amount of time at all to become more comfortable with talking.

Just try it is all I'm saying really.


(edit: I don't have much dating advice, but you might've found someone you can connect to if you enjoy talking with them a lot. That's all I can say really.)

Doram wrote:Oh, and Steven Universe. LOTS of Steven Universe...

same. This show has literally changed my outlook on life in more than a few ways.

Also, any of you can come onto chat whenever you want, and sometimes people are even up for voice chat, if that helps at all.

And good luck Kary <3

Don't ever feel ashamed for being socially awkward. Own that ♥♥♥♥. Be proud you're that awkward dude drawing anime girls and playing Smash Bros.

When you start letting your fears take control of your confidence, you've got a problem. If you're afraid of how people will react to the way you act in public, shadow them and see how they act in public. Get advice maybe from peers. "Hey do I walk weird" "Hey what should I wear today".

Practice speaking. Practice saying things sarcastically, so you know how to detect the slight change in voice. Learn how to speak in inflection, upward or downward, so you can pick up on that from others. Learn a new word a day, maybe 10, and practice using those words.

I mean, I'm guilty of one of the internet sins, which is browsing anon boards, but I picked up lots of tips from people there, and they....work. Some of them are things we even teach ourselves.

Learn a hobby, for example, if you want to look interesting. I think you're a musician, Veso, so you've got that already covered. If you're anxious around people(I'm a hypocrite, shoot me for saying this), practice getting out and just going to places where others are. Talk to your cashier or waiter, just little small talk, anything works.

Sometimes it seems though, the reason we don't feel happy with our lack of relations with others is because we're not confident enough in our skills, or we're afraid we'll forever be marked as "that guy". But there really isn't anything wrong with "that guy", just as long as he's not "that really creepy guy", if you...maybe pick up on what I'm saying.

But it starts with self-help first. It begins with wanting to change, if you think it can better your life. And it is all founded on the deep desire to be better than how you see yourself where you stand.

(Midnight advice is great. I also have some infographs and stuff saved for this very purpose for myself)

Oh, and smile. It's amazing how much it can help ANY situation.

I love you ♥♥♥♥. I've been on a parenting kick lately and that's weird cause I'd neeeeeeeeeeever have kids of my own, but all of y'all feel like you're my own. Like I'm responsible for you. And... I'd never want you to worry about me but I can't hide that i need you intensely. The fact is... my lymphoma has returned. Or something has. Because either way I have a brain tumor.

I told my mother and she immediately broke Down in tears, which... she's my mom, I get that. But I still feel like you're all my kids, so I really don't want you to worry, especially about me. That's why I took my stance on Shroom- he was making my kids angry. And compared to me y'all still are kids and you shouldn't regret that, because you wouldn't be here if you weren't a kid with amazing vision. So... I know y'all will worry for me and I ain't about to stop that. I'm really sorry. I just need your support- for me and you. If you care about me, it's because I care about you. I ain't saying shaking self doubt is easy, but I want you to at least try. You're all fantastic ♥♥♥♥ <3