Get Things Off of Your Chest

[Raz]

This post by Raz was thumbed up by: 3

Harmless (September 27th, 2016, 11:35 am) • l.m (October 12th, 2016, 12:14 pm) • Oranjui (September 26th, 2016, 6:05 am)

[NanTheDark]

A really tough week is coming for me. I believe I can handle it, but part of me is nervous. And part of me just wants to procastinate... BUT I MUST BE STRONG

[Oranjui]

I meant to post this about 12 hours ago, but school wifi blocked it for some reason and I forgot about it until now. This was a response to raz's first post (maaaybe we should move to the election thread, but idk)
---
I really want to emphasize that last comment, especially for chat users, because it does get really annoying. See a discussion you aren't interested in? Then don't participate. You don't need to tell everyone you aren't interested in politics and can't stand talking about it; just ignore it, then, if you really can't bring yourself to handle thinking about it whatsoever. We have two main channels for exactly this reason...

It's pretty fair to not care about our discussions if you don't live in the US, or if you're not old enough to vote anyway; BUT, if you do live in the US, I agree 100% that you should grow up and learn how to tolerate it instead of acting revolted by it. Politics this year has been incredibly frustrating from nearly all perspectives, but we're citizens of the world, and it's our responsibility to actively participate in shaping a better future. I wish more people would care enough to take an active part in politics instead of ignoring it (or even worse, abstaining as a form of "protest").

[Kimonio]

Can we make it a law that you can't sit directly next to someone.

I'm hugging the arm of a couch in the lobby waiting for class because someone was sitting next to me and I didn't want to touch his leg with mine.

[Karyete]

(Just gonna briefly mention that the US Election thread is still a thing.)
DORAMEDIT: Good point. Sorry. ftfy

My little bro had a horrible stomach bug and he's been in hospital all day, and he's staying there overnight too. He's recovering, but it's kinda scary when he gets this ill.

[Oranjui]

--snip

EDIT: I just cut the election part out of this post and moved it over to the Election thread. EDIT2: apparently doram already moved the other posts anyway. ok

My little bro had a horrible stomach bug and he's been in hospital all day, and he's staying there overnight too. He's recovering, but it's kinda scary when he gets this ill.

That sucks. I saw your chat posts about the swollen glands thing too. Hope you guys get better soon. :< I'm still trying to shake off whatever flu or bad cold I've had for the past week, which seems like it should be gone by now, but I'm still coughing like a smoker..

[Karyete]

So my college completely ♥♥♥♥ over my entire class and they don't even give a ♥♥♥♥.

So, to briefly explain, for Children in Need they've arranged to have a 24hr gaming marathon exclusively for the Game Development students, beginning 10am this Friday. I've never done one of these before and it sounds fun (plus it'll be a good way to get to know my class, since we all seem to get along well anyway). There are two Game Dev classes - I'm in one and my friends and cousin are in the other. Each class has between 25-30 students (mine is slightly smaller), and there are 40 spaces.

Their entire class was allowed to go and collect consent sheets from the front desk last Thursday. My class were emailed the consent sheet this morning.

Why was it emailed? Because they had screwed up the organisation so badly, "Health and Safety got involved", and by the time we were given the consent sheet the other class had taken three-quarters of the available spaces and the front desk wouldn't even hand out any more sheets. We weren't even allowed to print off our sheets during lessons.

So at 1:45, I return to my college (I only have one lesson in the morning, but of course I wasn't allowed to print it then :/) and try to hand in my consent form. All the spaces are already gone. I try emailing my teacher, asking why it was full. Turns out that the 30~ people who got spaces super early weren't even removed.

I'm second on their pending list, so unless two people drop out, I can't even go because my college essentially reserved an entire class for the marathon.

Also, to clear up: I'm not exactly mad about not being able to go. It's disappointing, but it's unlikely that anyone will drop out. I'm angry that my college just allowed one class to sign up days ahead of another, and didn't do anything to resolve the problem. Rather, they kinda remembered that another class wanted to go to and left us to scramble for placements.

They could have easily re-released the sheet, emailing it to everyone, and changed it so that the reception knew that was the one they needed to hand in. But no, of course not. It's not even a complicated event.

[Kimonio]

I swear to god I'm nearing my breaking point. And its not good.

Spoiler: show

I've been quiet about all this for a long time, but it has to come out somehow.

You all heard from me that Alisha died. You know she was my online friend since 2008, and her suicide hit me hard. One problem is that while you and everyone I've spoken with online understand what's eating me, people offline like my family treat her like she was just this person I never really knew.

♥♥♥♥. That is total ♥♥♥♥. I knew Alisha when we were both socially awkward dweebs obsessed with Neopets. I was the one she came clear to among one other person that she was anorexic. I was the one who spent months talking her out of abusing Tylenol and OTC pills. I spent years talking to her, treating her as my sister, because she was the only thing important to me at the darkest points in my life. She wasn't just a girl, she was my beat friend, and I loved the hell out of her.

Between that and not being there the week she killed herself to talk to her, I've felt like I was the one responsible for enabling her delusions, the ones she kept so secret from me. No one gets how hard its hit me over those first few months to know her fictitious husband was the sole result of a role play between us. That husband was my character that I let her have for years. Her mom doesn't know, she can't know, she's already feeling like she didn't do enough. And I still haven't found the god damn crackhead that convinced her online into doing spice and tabs.(Stg he better enjoy that anonymity of his).

So that's part of my recurring depressive episodes already, since June. Lets add no employment, because no one wants to hire some freelance digital artist without a degree. And I'm already getting shot for still staying with my parents and not having income. So what to do? Get a degree? I need the money for that, you know, and how the hell do I find the 600 to afford two courses a semester, not counting books and supplies?

And on top of that, I'm pretty much the paternal role model for my nephew, spawn of a narcissist that gave me enough ♥♥♥♥ growing up. I'm expected to run and do "little boy things" on a ♥♥♥♥ up knee and ankle, watch him while three adults are lounging watching TV, and take the blame for anything that goes wrong. Not counting I still get ♥♥♥♥ on for not acting masculine enough. That certainly doesn't help my already dysphoric and barely held together psyche, let alone the mountain of stress on my back.

And to top it off? My dog, the only friend I have physically, may find a new home, because my mom went bipolar again after he threw up on the chair from being too hot. Because no one seems to follow through my requests to heed my training for him and insists I don't do anything to stop the barking(stop antagonizing him god damn it).

I know this is a rant more than anything, but jesus ♥♥♥♥ christ, do I have to start doing drugs or going emo before people care to ask me what's wrong. You're my family, act like it for ♥♥♥♥'s sake, you already pretty much let me go.

[Doram]

First off, Patreon. Get a tumblr or something, and start putting out fan art of some kind, and get a patreon, and take commissions. Find the reddit for the community, and post some of your better works. People will follow. Not the best job, but an opportunity. I know a number of people doing ok with it. There's a great big internet out there. There's room enough for you.

Second, I know how much you cared for her, but you are NOT responsible for what happened, and everything you've said leads me to believe that you were, in fact, one of the things that she was living for. The OD was a tragic accident, and nothing more, and you can't let this loss ruin your health. I've tried to help a number of people who were suicidal, and, as much as I know and all, my success rate has been only about 50%. I'm really happy that I got through to the ones that I did, and I mourn the loss of those that couldn't understand what I was trying to tell them, and I move on and keep trying, because that is the most important part in all of this. You just gotta keep going. You still have a life to live, and people that you can help, and you are the only one that can do it.

As for your nephew, do both of you a favor, and take it a bit more seriously. See if you can at least curb that narcisssism. That's absolutely a way that you can make the world a better place. I can give more concrete advice on that with a bit more info, if you feel like sharing. My PMs are always open.

You can do this. I believe in you. Just hang on and keep trying.

[Bogdan]

First off, Patreon. Get a tumblr or something, and start putting out fan art of some kind, and get a patreon, and take commissions. Find the reddit for the community, and post some of your better works. People will follow. Not the best job, but an opportunity. I know a number of people doing ok with it. There's a great big internet out there. There's room enough for you.

No. At the very least, not enough. And I don't think you expect to earn at least a half-decent income solely from patreon unless you're damn good at it. Find some blue collar work if you think you can handle it. Try to drop a good book and get a driving licence, you may then have the possibility of being a delivery boy. Not the best job, but as long as you can earn something for yourself it's good.

Alternatively, there are other no-degree jobs you can find around. Technically it may not be "no-degree", but jump on a community college and learn a trade-tier job. Hell, electrician if you're good at it. Or construction-site work, while it's not pretty, a buck earned is a buck earned. There are other things you may find around, you just need to look then up yourself.