runouw.com

Disclaimer: This post may be percieved as depresive, pesimmistic or negativistic by some people. I however have no intention on giving such feelings to people, but simply show my point of view, and see other's.
Just to make some things clear.

Here is a personal belief, I do not believe that anyone has a purpose, as in "you are born to do that", "only you can do it" or "no one else is made to do that". If you were to not be born, or to die, it wouldn't be a huge inpact on the universe itself. Sure it will affect a few people and such, but ultimately things will adapt to go on without you.

Now that I have clarified what purpose means to me, I am now asking the following question. What is your goal in this life, do you plan on achieving anything in particular, owning or becoming something? What keeps you waking up in the morning and makes you say "I shall go further"? Is it from you? Is it from religion? Is it from, or because of others?

Here is my point of view. I do not believe in any religion, or supranatural and spiritual stuff. I do not live for others, and by that I mean I serve my own person and if I consider an action or decision will benefit me, I shall disregard how that action or decision will affect you, no matter of what nature or kind. I aknoweledge that I might never be more than the average citizen and even if I were to change that, there are chances in which I should either fail or succeed, but I have no guarantee on both (well actually I have more guarantee over the former than the later).

So why do I keep going on? Why don't I just stop?
Well, to me it doesn't matter if I stop now or later, by natural causes or if I shall "stop myself", but I have no reason to end my advance. True now, AT THIS POINT, I see no reason in going further, but considering that I currently follow nothing and my journey has no clear destination, there is no reason or excuse to trully give up. Funny enough, my reason to keep going through life is that, at some point I might spot something over the horizon, something I shall consider it's worth going on for. I do not know what can that be, and I have no idea. All I know is that, my horizon hasn't showed me anything yet. And if it did, I considered it's not worth pursuing.

Okay now, but do I want nothing at this point?
Yes and no. Of course, I want all the small things, such as a house, a job, entertaiment, goods and all that stuff, but those things, regardless if out there are people who may not have them, aren't reasons to be happy nor to continue through life. They just come handy.

Well, those are my beliefs, anyone found anything at their horizon? Or views things from another angle?

To experience life. To determine if I appreciate the experience of life.

I don't believe in fate or religion or anything like that either. There's no real purpose or reason I'm alive. But I'd personally like to keep being alive. And I have some reasons for that.

For one thing, that's because I like to challenge myself and push myself. Sure, I get exhausted and sick of life sometimes, but it's no fun if I just call it quits and abandon 16 years (it's okay to round up 2 weeks, right?) of work to get where I am. Granted, that's really not very far at all, but there's always room for improvement, and I'm going to keep working at it. Also, I'm prone to commitment issues sometimes, and I'd like to stay 100% committed to at least one thing...might as well be life.

Two... I dunno. Because if there's nothing after death, then why cut your time short? Even if you're in a slump in life. Of course everybody has different circumstances, but as cliché as it sounds, I'm positive that things will always get better. That's partly due to personal experience. Looking at my mental health currently compared to where I was about a year or two ago, I've drastically improved in a lot of ways. I don't claim to have had depression or anxiety or anything because self-diagnosis is echhh (though both of those do run in my family), but overall I was in a really bad state of mind and life felt pretty ♥♥♥♥, even though I didn't let it show much online. I don't recall if I was ever suicidal per se but I think I came pretty damn close and I overall really thought I hated being alive for a while. Now? By no means is life perfect--it never will be--but I think that the experience is worth it, all the ups and downs included. I'm only 15 so I might be totally overdramatizing this all, too; I know that I've experience very little of what life has to offer, so I kind of want to try to keep going so I can get there. There's gonna be more ups and downs ahead, but they'll be unique experiences that I won't have a chance to witness ever again.

Three. I have goals for myself. This is related to #1. I kind of want to cross some stuff off my bucket list before calling it a day (life? idk), and I have short-term goals, too. Most of them aren't really much worth mentioning because they're just personal (academic goals, fitness goals, reading goals, my giant backlog of tv shows/movies/anime, etc... eventually career goals will be added to that list too). But they definitely exist and I do want to strive for them.

So, to answer your question, I don't really have one ultimate goal other than to just take the one chance I have to live my life, and make the most out of it.

My only goal is to become a veterinarian. There is nothing else I care about. I want to help people by helping the animals I love. I like seeing animals recover thanks to me, and a person happier thanks to me.

I keep living because I wonder if I can try out a new sweet tomorrow. And even if I cannot, I want to try these I've already tasted before once again.
I keep living because I wonder if people will like this idea I just had, and if it will be useful.
I keep living because I want to see people's reactions to that unnexpected thing I may or may not do.
I keep living to be able to feel the thrill of going through a rollercoaster once again.
I keep living because I may as well be the one to discover what is missing in humanity. Who knows?
I keep living because I want people to see what I create, and appreciate it.

If anything, what makes life worth it is the surprise factor. I don't care about what I may be after I die. A soul? Nothing? I don't know. But it's not like I need to. Life is truly the only fact. And it's up to you if it'll be worth it or not.

I want everyone to experience peace, enlightened common sense, the drive to learn, and music. How I will do that, I have a few ideas, but... well, I dunno if I'll be doing that anytime soon.

And while things don't last forever, I do want them to last as long as they can, for everyone, including myself.