Limelight

[MessengerOfDreams]

So, yeah. You may have heard talk around that I'm doing a -le gasp- rap for a talent show at community center tomorrow night. It doesn't get any more pimpin' than that. :3 But, yeah. I wanted to post what I had come up with and see what you thought.

My main request is that you PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE take me seriously. Please. I'm taking this seriously I don't want you to mock me for trying this or treat me like I'm lame. I want some feedback is all.

So, yeah. Here we go. I'm talking to get myself this rythmn. Hopefully it will come to pass. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpwLrIUWNJo And maybe I'll get recorded, maybe not. We'll see.

---

Krys-shun on the beats!
Messenger bringing words to action!
I don't have bling bling, but I got a mic, and that's all I need!
Let's start this!

Please let me introduce myself, I'm not like the others
Not like most who take the mic, I'm an odd sort of brotha
Most of the time, rappers got a lot of swagger, and yet
that's not what I'm aiming for. Stuff like that I just don't get
Couldn't be gangsta if I tried. Wouldn't succeed at all.
Hell, my dad had to explain to me the purpose of an 8 ball
Labels I defy, can't fit who I am on a nametag
I don't just think outside the box, I camp out there with a sleeping bag.
You could call me an artist. Please do. That's what I live for.
I see beauty in everything. I keep my mind an open door.
Art is creation. Call me Cameron the Creator.
Living my life with open arms and never making haters.
You could call me a geek, that's a badge I wear with pride.
Don't see how that's a bad thing; sure I don't have a ride
But I can get you on the bus anywhere you need to go.
Reading maps and doing math at the same time, bro

I've never rapped before, I might embarrass myself
In the end, I just want to get my ideas off the shelf
Declaring myself now, baring my soul outright
Even though I'm not a star that's stepping in the limelight.

I'm an Activated Leader trying to Organize my People
Bringing 'em out, from stores, off the streets, from under steeples
I specialize in unity, I delight in the diverse
Bring all kinds of extraordinary into my verse
Y'see, with six billion people living all around the world
Just imagine the sheer brilliance of their voices being heard
A plethora of imagery, from so many different lives
Then we can truly say we see through each other's eyes

This may look like something that'd make you look like a fool
But you don't have to rap just to express your own soul
If we spark our own creations, the future's looking bright
Even if we never make it out into the limelight

No one's ever called me hot, I don't attest to being cool
I'm only coolest in the class cause I'm homeschooled
Ain't ever been on a date, but does it mean a thing?
So what if I'm not perfect. I still have the right to sing.
Voices shouldn't be limited only to good looking stars
With rings the size of baseballs and who actually have cars
Maybe all you see is a fedora-wearing nerd
But try it out, see that all your voices can be heard!

Can I hear some voices here? *insert what I hope to be cheering... or something*

I ran the risk of embarrassment to get my message through
But I'm not just hear to raise me up, I want to hear from you
So don't be afraid to raise 'em up into the starry night
We all have our own voices even if we never see the limelight!

[brandoprojectm]

PPPFFFFTTTT- *is shot*


Okay now seriously. All I can say is that it's...in-between.

First of all, talking smack about yourself worked very wepicly in the movie 8-Mile, but here...not so much. And you talk about not caring about embarrassing yourself, but that doesn't mean you have to just outright TRY to somewhat humiliate yourself. Self-respect works best most times, while self-dissing...not on very many occasions.

On the other hand, you got across a great message about expressing yourself and the artistic-ness in life. There were some pretty epic lines, like for example these two:

"A plethora of imagery, from so many different lives
Then we can truly say we see through each other's eyes"

Overall though, it could be improved. If you feel okay with it, that's cool, cuz it is good overall, but I felt you might appreciate some feedback liek this.

Peace out, homes.

:3

[RedLink]

^ What brando Said ^
ANYWAYS... This was wepic MOD! But like a white boy rap lol like Weird Al. Anyways Didn't you go to a baseball game with an asian girl? So you do know what bases are
Also this counts as one of your stories so HAH I told you i would read one and leave a review
Did i had to read your rap with the song? Cause I did and it turned out 92% good. Anyways yeah, go for it but fix some parts and rhymes. 9.4/10
RESPECT MY MODER EFFING BROSEF!

[MessengerOfDreams]

Slight lyric editing in the bridge. Thanks for the feedback!

Also looks like I'm using the normal file select music.
Also Red, your point is invalid as this is in Music. Don't be a cop out. XD