Let's Rant: Dora the Explorer
Posted: July 19th, 2015, 2:19 amSo, any Dora fans, don't read this, or you'll get offended. Also, it contains slight profanity.
So, Dora the Explorer is about a 6-year-old Latin American girl named Dora, and her talking pet monkey, Boots (who, as his name implies, has 2 shiny red boots.) Here's a typical Dora episode: Dora goes out in the woods to play with her monkey Boots (isn't that a stupid name) and a ball bounces into the forest. Dora and Boots run off to get the ball. I don't think a 5/6 year old should be in a forest unoccupied. So, Dora asks-wait scratch that, YELLS AT US IF WE WANT TO HELP THEM FIND THE BALL. God, you don't have to yell Dora. I say in a firm voice "no". She says "great! I'm so glad you're helping us!" Uh...no, I'm not Dora. So, then she sings an annoying song, and she comes to a large hill.
" Where is the hill?"
It's right in front of you, retard!
So, I help her out, because she needs it, and she opens her map. "I'm the mapX347"
SHUT THE DUCK UP!
So then Dumba---sorry, DORA--opens up a backpack, FOR PICKLE JUICE'S SAKE, DON'T SING ANOTHER SONG! (weird how everything talks huh?)
So then a fox named Swiper (again, THE FREAKING NAMES!)tries to steal the ball that they got.
What do Dora and Boots do?
"Swiper, no swiping!"
You don't know how mad that makes me.
So, they return to the forest, and play with their ball......
This baby show sucks.
0/100000000000000000
So, Dora the Explorer is about a 6-year-old Latin American girl named Dora, and her talking pet monkey, Boots (who, as his name implies, has 2 shiny red boots.) Here's a typical Dora episode: Dora goes out in the woods to play with her monkey Boots (isn't that a stupid name) and a ball bounces into the forest. Dora and Boots run off to get the ball. I don't think a 5/6 year old should be in a forest unoccupied. So, Dora asks-wait scratch that, YELLS AT US IF WE WANT TO HELP THEM FIND THE BALL. God, you don't have to yell Dora. I say in a firm voice "no". She says "great! I'm so glad you're helping us!" Uh...no, I'm not Dora. So, then she sings an annoying song, and she comes to a large hill.
" Where is the hill?"
It's right in front of you, retard!
So, I help her out, because she needs it, and she opens her map. "I'm the mapX347"
SHUT THE DUCK UP!
So then Dumba---sorry, DORA--opens up a backpack, FOR PICKLE JUICE'S SAKE, DON'T SING ANOTHER SONG! (weird how everything talks huh?)
So then a fox named Swiper (again, THE FREAKING NAMES!)tries to steal the ball that they got.
What do Dora and Boots do?
"Swiper, no swiping!"
You don't know how mad that makes me.
So, they return to the forest, and play with their ball......
This baby show sucks.
0/100000000000000000