Poems?

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Poems?

Postby Panik! » February 6th, 2011, 5:45 pm

So, I write poetry too... :P

First one:

Corrosion

No, I never told you
About the thing that’s breaking me,
Constantly shaking me
When I sleep at night


And I can’t tell,
Or I’ll finally shatter,
Finally scatter
The string that holds me together.


But this never-ending guilt,
It just won’t let go,
It just seems to grow
Until I’m completely corroded.
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Re: Poems?

Postby Ridder » February 6th, 2011, 8:01 pm

Stop taking acid then. LOLZ.
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Re: Poems?

Postby brandoprojectm » February 6th, 2011, 11:06 pm

Always count on Riddah to corrupt something as beautiful as poetry. EVER HEARD OF /B/?? GO THERE. AND DON'T COME BACK.

The poem was great. The word choice, the theme, the pace, everything was great, until the end. The word "corroded" sounds a bit out of place or pace. And yes, I noticed the poem's title. But still.
Just remember this, when you see her on the street.

I'm the cruelest girl you'll ever meet.
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Re: Poems?

Postby Ridder » February 7th, 2011, 3:45 pm

IT'S GENERIC, FOO.
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THE CREED: Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.
"...That's rather cynical."

"It would be if it were doctrine, but it is merely an observation of the nature of reality.
To say that Nothing is True is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shephards of our own civilization.
To say that Everything is Permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with the consequences, whether glorious...or tragic."
-Ezio Auditore da Firenze explaining the Creed, 1514, Masayaf.
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Re: Poems?

Postby MessengerOfDreams » February 7th, 2011, 3:59 pm

I really really like this. It's really pretty. I think all poetry, whether you like it or Not, is inspired. Never generic.

B-b-but that's just me. *avoids gunfire*
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Re: Poems?

Postby Ridder » February 7th, 2011, 4:05 pm

Actually, me, Venexis, and Jello all agreed the previous night that this poem was pretty generic.
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THE CREED: Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.
"...That's rather cynical."

"It would be if it were doctrine, but it is merely an observation of the nature of reality.
To say that Nothing is True is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shephards of our own civilization.
To say that Everything is Permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with the consequences, whether glorious...or tragic."
-Ezio Auditore da Firenze explaining the Creed, 1514, Masayaf.
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Re: Poems?

Postby MessengerOfDreams » February 7th, 2011, 4:10 pm

...I don't think it is. I really like the word choice and other such things...

Course that's just me
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My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3
Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
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Re: Poems?

Postby brandoprojectm » February 7th, 2011, 5:01 pm

brandobrawl wrote:Always count on Riddah to corrupt something as beautiful as poetry. EVER HEARD OF /B/?? GO THERE. AND DON'T COME BACK.

The poem was great. The word choice, the theme, the pace, everything was great, until the end. The word "corroded" sounds a bit out of place or pace. And yes, I noticed the poem's title. But still.


MessengerOfDreams wrote:...I don't think it is. I really like the word choice and other such things...

Course that's just me


:o_O:
Just remember this, when you see her on the street.

I'm the cruelest girl you'll ever meet.
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Re: Poems?

Postby Oranjui » February 8th, 2011, 2:47 pm

fml
Last edited by Oranjui on March 18th, 2012, 5:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Poems?

Postby brandoprojectm » February 8th, 2011, 5:42 pm

You spoofed...a poem.

A poem.


















































:arrow:

Not the smiley face you were expecting, huh? :awe:

Yeah, and I hope you noticed that that doesn't work out too well. Poems are worlds apart from stories, the only similarity being that they're expressed in words.
Just remember this, when you see her on the street.

I'm the cruelest girl you'll ever meet.
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