The A-SS- Spammer's War

[Kimonio]

Most who have been given nicknames will be in this, so here is a list of the ones with the names.....

Fights of Brandon- Brandobrawl
The Blob- Blablob
Chau- .....You know him.
Kemo-Therapy- Me
Laws of Nicholas- Niklaw
Globetrotter- Superyoshi (almost capitalized that "Y". )
Compressed Line- Fourinone
Liquid Pain- Runouw
Lord 2- [L2]
Zune-Zune(Mazda! (zoom zoom zoom!)- Zunar
Speed Click- marioiscool254
BodyBash- Buffooner
Messenger Mailman- MessengerOfYahweh



....Holy crap. That's a lot. o_O



Well, time to get to the story!





CHAPTER ONE




There was something abuzz in the chatroom or the Anti-Spam Society headquarters. Everyone was suspicious of Ridder's sudden disappearance from the group. All they knew was that he found their ideas to be stupid when it came to killing the spammers.

And yet, there was still another topic to discuss.

Fourinone had told the group that Kimonio was designing weapons that would aid them should a war break out. He said that he had sent Marioiscool to do exploration involving TheBetterGamer's job. Recently, TBG had retired as he felt that war was getting to him. They had already lost 24Murph and Bowserbane to previous encounters, with which MIC and Brandobrawl had retold. They figured MIC was making this up as they all knew that Runouw wasn't a microchip. But still, they needed TBG. He was clearly the only member of the squad who could sneak into cities undetected, appearing as that of a regular lunatic, the best way to infiltrate spam plans.

Superyoshi slammed his hand on the table."This is taking to long! Runouw, clearly Kimonio was lying about this NEW WEAPON idea thing! You know how he always submitted those test blueprints for his battle plan series too early, showing flaws! How can we trust him?!"

Runouw held up a hand, sternly meaning that Suyo should calm down."Kim has told me of his theories. I must say that although TBG had a very scientific theory, Kim was able to piece together myths very astoundingly. Plus, I saw his ideas for the secret weapon..."

Niklaw's eyes widened."......Secret.....weapon? You mean that the weapons we used against SuperZario's spam army weren't secret?!"

Four and Suyo started to glare at the door, ready to kill Kim when he walked in.

Runouw chuckled."Oh, they were secret enough! But from the plans I viewed, this weapon could be the best out of all the weapons!"

Suddenly the door to the chatroom flung open and Kimonio rushed in, gasping for air. In his hand he held a diamond container in which was......


"A BULLET?! THAT IS THE SECRET WEAPON?!" Suyo gaped at Runouw, who in told told him to shut up and listen to Kim.

Kimonio finally caught his breath and placed the box on the table."My dear comrades, what I have brought unto you is not a bullet, but a nuclear anti-spam bullet!"

Four stared at Kim."........But it's a bullet.>_>"

Kim nodded.

"......And it goes into our BASIC Spammist Guns like usual ones, huh?"

Kim shook his head."False. I tested the bullets with hundreds of guns, and only guns that were made of diamond appeared to withstand the nuclear energy the formula I used could handle the bullets."

Niklaw stared at the diamond."Aye, I see now. But have you tested it out on the spammers?"

Kim grinned."Heck no! You and MIC always beat me! So in order for testing......."

He tossed it to Niklaw who in turn couldn't grip it.

The container began plummeting to the ground, close to Nik's feet.

Kim flinched, praying for the worst to not happen.

Just then, a hand caught the diamond.

Runouw straightened up and sighed."I'll be testing this on whatever bots we have left in the testing grounds....what exactly will happen though?"

Kim frowned."It isn't pretty...." He pulled up the sleeve to his arm.

The group gasped at what they saw.

In the place of the human arm was that of a mutant one. The skin was scaly and black. The fingers were rotted to the flesh and the bones were showing. The veins now were a ghastly color of white. And in the place of the fingernails were red claws.

Kim sighed."I was mixing the solution together and poured the water into the acid...."

MIC, who was sitting beside Buffooner, groaned. He knew what happened.

"....instead of the acid into the water. Of course, this wasn't regular acid. I had Buff go to Mount St. Helens and extract lava. Then I mixed the lava with acid......which produced the chemical used for the bullets."

Runouw frowned and glanced at the bullet."But what will happen if the bullet touches the spambot?"

Kim sighed and looked out the window."I was testing to see if I could reverse the negative ions of spambot blood to positive ions by using the solution.....but it appears I still need testing."

Niklaw nodded and looked to MIC."Now that the case of the.....SECRET WEAPON....has been discussed, what is TBG up to?"

Kim grinned and sat down."Now that I can answer! He is trying to be the mascot for the Tavern, Nik! "





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Thoughts so far? o_O

[Zunar]

Pretty good, but you didn't use the nicknames!

[Kimonio]

They come later during.........well, you'll see.

[MessengerOfDreams]

Like it already. Mostly cause I am in it.

[Kimonio]

After the meeting was over, the Society dismissed from each other and went to do their own things.


Kim had taken a job at the Tavern as a janitor. He knew how hard it was for the bartenders to clean up and deliver drinks. He also knew that Suyo and Nik had "business" in the Employee's Lounge.

Just as he reached the doors, he felt his neck twitch. This rarely ever happened. But when it did, he knew that something was going wrong.

Feeling nervous, he slid his hand into his pocket, taking out his handgun and the keys. Sliding the untested bullets into the gun, he muttered to himself "This better not be a raid".

He slowly slid the keys into the door's lock and gently turned. When he opened, he saw a homeless spammer gluing pictures of nude girls to the walls.

Kim's mouth dropped."WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!"

The spammer turned around and drew a gun.

"I ALREADY PAINTED THOSE WALLS YOU DINGBAT!!"

The spammer raised an eyebrow and Kim shot in anger.

Growling in disgust, Kim walked over to the walls and punched the picture. But then he noticed something odd....


On the bottom-left corner read "SuperZario Publishing"

Kim frowned. Wasn't he defeated in the Brandobrawl War?

He shook his head. It was probably some stupid gang trying to form and steal from the needy.

Kim walked behind the Tavern counter, grabbing a mop and a clean rag to begin cleaning up Blablob's drunk puke. Ugh. How he hated it when Blablob overdosed. D:

As he placed a hand on a table, he heard a robotic tick coming from underneath the table.

Kim raised an eyebrow. When he peeked underneath the table, he saw a circular motion-sensing bomb sticking to it's underside.

Kim's eyes widened."What the he-"

There was a massive explosion from the Tavern. windows were blasted to pieces. Alcoholic beverages exploded on contact, short-circuiting the lights. To make matters worse, it was winter. Niklaw had placed wood and kerosene in a corner in case the Tavern was to cold.

Kimonio coughed. He had to get out......but how? The explosion had blown him into the arcade games and shattered his leg bone. His back felt like it had been snapped in two by Jackie Chan.

Just as the fire was closing in on the kerosene and on Kimonio, he heard shouting. He began crying for help, hoping he would be heard.

The A-SS rushed in, with TBG leading them all in. Buffooner reached under Kim and lifted him up."You're going to be okay, Kim.....trust me."

Kim nodded, wincing in pain at the way his back was held.

MIC glanced at the fire, then at the kerosene."OH SH-"

Buff had known of this and moved Kimonio to safety. Jumping behind the Tavern counter, he started looking for the extinguisher.

The gang, knowing it wasn't safe alone, rushed into the Tavern to help Buff.

Only Kimonio heard the creaking of the roof. But before he could answer, it all ended.

Kim fell into a coma, and the last thing he heard was the snap of the wood and the screams of his friends.

Then all went black.....

[Kimonio]

I know, off-topic.....but I HAD to post this before it disappeared! XD

So me and Chau were chatting, see. And I brought up the topic of Mushroomario's topic "How to Make a Level". We both broke out laughing, and then came up with really great names for his series!

This is the quote of the book titles for "How To-: A series for the Major Dumbasses!" XD

Coming up in the How To- series are....."How to chat on the chat.","How to read a topic!", "How to Register!","How to Register!","How to breathe!", "How to talk!", "How to look at a computer screen!", "How to click a mouse!", "How to Move", "How to Eat", "How to See","How to open a book", "How to Blink", "How to Live", How to Grow", and finally......."How to Read!"! XD

[TrappedTime]

Nice story so far.
Keep going!

[MessengerOfDreams]

Yesh, very well done. My third favorite Fanfic so far!

Not counting Mine, of course

[MICrophone]

Not too bad…try to be a little more descriptive and stuff, but the story is good. Also, this appears to be very similar to stories already out there (Runouw's Forum, Kympo, TLT and stuff), so make sure you make things original as you continue writing. Keep it up!

[itooscary]

this story is COOL. C a n n o t w a i t f o r m o r e !