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STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Runouw's Secrets)

Posted:
March 22nd, 2010, 10:39 am
by MessengerOfDreams
Yoshi Boo 118 was one of the lesser known users on the forum, but I think he left his mark on runouw.com with 'Unlocked.'
The story stars Yoshi Boo, obviously, who finds a moderator key with Kimonio in Niklaw's Tavern. Unfortunately, they are suspected of stealing it by Suyo, who banishes Kim and puts YB on lock-down. Trouble brews when a suspicious character, storyguy, starts to free spammers onto the website, with YB nearly powerless to stop it. And that's as far as we've gotten so far.
Let me just say, Yoshi's strength is in his characters. They engage, they are spot-on to the actual people they are based off of, and are just fun to watch. The storyline flows well, construction is pretty good, but the only thing is that the idea, while it has a twist, is the same old spambot story.
9/10
Write any longer or professional reviews here, if you wish. For the most part, it's just gonna be me.
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Unlocked)

Posted:
March 22nd, 2010, 12:19 pm
by Blablob
Oh boy! Story reviews? I can't wait until it's my turn (with either Kympo or A Lesson To Be Learned)
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Unlocked)

Posted:
March 22nd, 2010, 3:58 pm
by Avo
I can't wait for my only....completed....story.....TLoA. Eh, The Runouw Files are still going strong!
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Unlocked)

Posted:
March 23rd, 2010, 11:15 am
by MessengerOfDreams
Look, you guys rock and all, but opinions on reviews or reviews themselves would be appreciated, not any "ooh! ooh! Read my story!"
Thanks!
Anyway, today's story...
Runouw's Secrets!- By Sonicfan253!
In all respects, Sonicfan253 is a literary lightweight with promise. Runouw's Secrets... well, it was messy, to say the least.
The story follows Sonicfan on another site vs. spam story, jumping instantly into the action, without a backstory or any info on any of the characters, so it's hard to feel for any of them. They just randomly pop in, personality-less. But the intrigue is in the secrets that Runouw hid from even his closest friends. The glaring one being that the forums were not created to stop spam, but to protect it. Sure, Sonicfan doesn't give a reason, but it starts the excitement.
And that's the greatest element of the story, the action and excitement. If this were a movie, it would be a start-to-finish thriller. Poorly constructed, however, as this story has a grammar/spelling error everywhere you turn. If this were a thriller, it'd be fun to watch, but that's the only good quality this story seems to have.
But kudos on the first effort!
5/10
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Runouw's Secrets)

Posted:
March 23rd, 2010, 12:20 pm
by Blablob
I have a question. Can there be more than 1 review per day? I wanna review The Legend of Avo.
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Runouw's Secrets)

Posted:
March 23rd, 2010, 12:25 pm
by MessengerOfDreams
Go ahead!
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Runouw's Secrets)

Posted:
March 23rd, 2010, 12:37 pm
by Blablob
Ok.
The Legend Of Avo
I gotta say. When I first recieved the preview of this story, I was really excited to be in story for once. It cought my attention, and it seemed interesting.
At first.
As the chapters went by, I kind of lost the feel of interest I had at the beginning. More characters were being introduced, giving the major characters less of a mandatory feeling.
Also, the story was a bit straight forward. Not many plot twists, or anything to give you that surprised feeling. A few characters died off, and a bit other things happened, but not much.
During the coarse of the story, many grammar errors will also be introduced. An interesting story has to LOOK interesting, right? It wasn't horrible, but just a few things that could easily be avoided.
Finally, what better way to end a story than with a let-down ending? Actually, I wouldn't call it a let-down, but it just didn't seem like a fitting end to the weeks of work gone into the story.
So, in conclusion, this was the first story of the forums to catch my eye, and one of the few ones I have read start to finish to this day. I liked it. A few issues such as a straight forward story, grammar issues, and a few others shouldn't keep you from taking a look at it. It's not bad!
7/10
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Runouw's Secrets)

Posted:
March 23rd, 2010, 1:01 pm
by Megar
OOHH! Will you review my Story so far???
(You probaly will, since you have been following that for a while

)
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Runouw's Secrets)

Posted:
March 23rd, 2010, 2:20 pm
by nin10mode
SuperSpongerific wrote:OOHH! Will you review my Story so far???
(You probaly will, since you have been following that for a while

)
MessengerOfYahweh wrote:Look, you guys rock and all, but opinions on reviews or reviews themselves would be appreciated, not any "ooh! ooh! Read my story!"
Thanks!
Anyway...
Dimotri: Trouble in Equadon - by Kimonio
It's about this peculiar boy named Dimotri. Apparantly, he's been sucked out of his own world, aged several years, and is sent into a world called Equadon. His mission is to save all the Gods and to find out what is destroying their planet. He has to collect Elemental rings to do it.
This is pretty good, from what I remember from reading it a few months ago. It's descriptive, but sometimes I don't get it. (rainbowlike blackness?) and it's good for people who like reading about Greek Myths, as it is very similar to one. You have the action in most of the story, but it still keeps some room for a bit of character development. I'd give it 10* so far. I hope you continue! (It's already on page 3 x.X)
Re: STORY REVIEWS- (Today's Story- Runouw's Secrets)

Posted:
March 23rd, 2010, 11:34 pm
by Megar
nin10mode wrote:SuperSpongerific wrote:OOHH! Will you review my Story so far???
(You probaly will, since you have been following that for a while

)
MessengerOfYahweh wrote:Look, you guys rock and all, but opinions on reviews or reviews themselves would be appreciated, not any "ooh! ooh! Read my story!"
Thanks!
Anyway...
Dimotri: Trouble in Equadon - by Kimonio
It's about this peculiar boy named Dimotri. Apparantly, he's been sucked out of his own world, aged several years, and is sent into a world called Equadon. His mission is to save all the Gods and to find out what is destroying their planet. He has to collect Elemental rings to do it.
This is pretty good, from what I remember from reading it a few months ago. It's descriptive, but sometimes I don't get it. (rainbowlike blackness?) and it's good for people who like reading about Greek Myths, as it is very similar to one. You have the action in most of the story, but it still keeps some room for a bit of character development. I'd give it 10* so far. I hope you continue! (It's already on page 3 x.X)
Didnt see that...
