The EL33T

[MessengerOfDreams]

Hello, one and all! Welcome to my first original Forum Story (TRC isn't really a forum story anymore), The EL33T!

The biggest difference is that the members in this story, have probably never been used in a story before.Okay! Let's get crackin!


Prologue


Yoshi Boo 118, or YB for short, walked through the streets of Runouw City quietly. No one had noticed him, and no one seemed to care. He found his way down roads and the occasional alley to the level designer warehouse lot. The place where he made magic.

You see, YB was one of the greatest level designers of our time. Thing was, he was undiscovered. Hardly anyone knew him, except for his best friend, The Portal Guru. And today, he wasn't there.

He walked into his warehouse, approached his controls, and turned on his screen. Grinning excitedly, he announced to no one in particular "Let's do this."

The Controls and screen controlled moving arms, which positioned and carved the levels according to Yoshi Boo's demand. The screen itself showed him a miniature diagram of his level to make sure he had it done to perfection. Then, upon completion, he would be granted a robotic character, in this case the famous plumber Mario, and would be allowed to showcase his level in front of a crowd. The only problem was, no one ever seemed to come to his displays and his effort was oft in vain.

Nevertheless, he pressed on with Herculean determination, even though most of the time his only reward was empty showings and anonymity. Today was no exception as he worked out the kinks of the level for the last time for another hopeful showing. He was about satisfied with the product when there was a knock on the door.

He opened it to see a young hipster woman with bright blue spiked hair and at least 5 facial piercings standing on the doormat he had placed for an odd reason, clad in a leather jacket and torn-up jeans. The sight almost caused YB to jump back a few inches, but he kept his manners. "Hello." he asked. "How can I help you?"

She spoke up. "Well, I was told no one was gonna be occupying this warehouse. Remind me to complain to those liars later."

YB looked shocked, not by her, but by her words. "What do you need this warehouse for?"

"Artistry." she replied. "A blank space to work and construct. Looks like we'll be sharing a space, eh?"

He sighed. Of all the rotten luck. The woman, however, was interested in YB's level, which she saw through the screen. "Wow, man, this is some serious dedication. You're good at this. Where did the concept come from?"

He shrugged. "Paper Mario. I loved that game series."

"Thumbs up." she grinned, walking over to Yoshi Boo and holding out her hand.

"Yoshi Boo." he smiled, taking the handshake.

"Vandarx." she replied.

Chapter 1

School sure seemed to drone on for Salmo. He was in writing class, his least favorite class with his favorite teacher, Brandobrawl. Although Brando was a cool, laid back dude who made class fun, for Salmo, writing was a chore and something he struggled at.

He sat in the chair, clueless as what to do as he stared down a blank paper. He had the ideas, like one of an undercover warrior who fought to defend his city, but as much as he loved the idea, he couldn't construct it, no matter how hard he thought. His best friend, SuperSpongerific, looked at him with a grin as he pointed to his notebook. SuperSponge was one of the best authors Salmo knew. Salmo seemed to be the only one who knew, though.

After class, Salmo finally lifted his eyes from his eternally blank paper with a sigh. When Brando went to grab Salmo's paper, he saw it was blank and gave Salmo a sympathetic grin. "Someday, my man." he offered. Salmo tried to smile back, but Brando had said that for the past month. And Brando had always reluctantly given him an F.

Brando went to get SuperSponge's notebook, but SS stopped him short. "No thanks, Brando." he said. "I want to take this home and work on it there!"

Brando grinned and nodded as he went down the line. Salmo quietly got up and slunk out of the room, SuperSponge running after him, following him to his locker. "Hey, man, I'm almost done with my book!"

Salmo smiled a little, but his thoughts were in other places.

"I mean, I really think I can make it big. I can probably be as good as Brando himself, or Buff, or Aznchau, or Messenger, or even Marioiscool!"

Salmo nodded. His spirit was a bit lifted, plus, P.E. was up next. He was looking forward to that.

SuperSponge kept talking excitedly as they went into P.E. Salmo always made sure to wear his Gym Clothes under his normal clothes to avoid at least one embarrassing trip to the locker room. SuperSponge didn't, so the two parted directions when entering the Gym.

To put in the simplest term, Salmo was a Gym Class Hero, pardon the pun. Today was the 100 meter run. It was Salmo versus the fastest runner in class, who was ironically named Itoofast. Itoo was a foot taller than Salmo, and was famous for a speed that would make Sonic jealous. Salmo had never managed to beat him, but that didn't mean he wasn't gonna try.

Itoo gave Salmo a menacing grin as he got into running position. Salmo gulped but held his ground as he did the same.

The gym teacher said a typical "Ready? Set? GO!"

And they were off. 30 seconds later it was over. It was next to impossible to tell what had happened.

As the dust cleared, Salmo and Itoo were both seen on the ground, fallen and gasping for breath at the finish line.

Itoo wore an expression of absolute shock. "I... I can't believe it." he said in shock. "That kid... he beat me."

Everyone was shocked by this, but no one more than Salmo himself. "What?" he cried out.

SuperSponge ran out to help him up. "Dude, that was amazing! You... you beat a guy who has fast in his name!"

Salmo chuckled. "That.. that feels pretty great."

SS grinned. "Man, we gotta celebrate this. Like, with a party or something."

Salmo put his hand up. "No way, man. That's a bit ambitious. Plus, My mom would die multiple deaths."

"So that's a yes?!" SS grinned. Before Salmo could counter, he said "Great! See you and some friends at my house at seven!"

Salmo's face fell as he walked away into the locker room. "Great," he thought. "Now what do I do?"

Outside, someone was waiting for Salmo. "Hello, Salmo." he said.

"Who are you?" was his reply.

"I am the Portal Guru, and I need to talk to you."
____________________________________________________________________
Kimonio filed her papers every time she had a spare moment. Her partner in crime, Kirby 999, sat in the desk across from her, noticing her filing. "Does that ever get old?" he asked her.

She laughed a little. "No, not really. Interesting, random things are on these papers. Anyway, what are you working on?"

"The EL33T program. I think I found some members. Some that are anonymous enough, but have the skills we need. Ready for the review?"

Kim nodded with a smile.

"Well there's Yoshi Boo 118. He's an underground level designer, and from what our agent The Portal Guru says, a great one. And there's Vandarx, a great artist. Plus, Salmo, a high school student. He's a great athlete. And SuperSpongerific is a good, undiscovered Author. The Portal Guru can attest to all of these."

Kim smiled. "So, we send TPG back out to gather them together?"

Kirby nodded.

"Well, send him out."

Chapter 2

Salmo was nervous as could be. The Portal Guru, someone he had never met, wanted to talk about something important, which was actually a pretty spooky concept. Salmo wasn’t so sure he should be doing this, but he was too scared to disobey.

TPG ushered him into an empty classroom and sat down at the teacher’s desk. “Salmo, is it?”

Salmo nodded.

“I saw you run that race. You did an amazing job.” TPG smiled a little. Salmo tried a smile of his own, but it was uncomfortable and a bit nauseous.

“And that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He continued. “We need you for a special project vital to Runouw City.”

Salmo gulped. “Me? What for?”

“That’s currently classified. The two creators of this will talk to you later. But, we were going to use Itoofast until we saw you race. You’re obviously the better choice for this one.”

Salmo smiled a little bit. The thought of being better than Itoo was pretty satisfying.

“So, I’ll give you my business card. Call me if you want in.” TPG said, handing the boy a professional-looking business card. TPG checked his watch and said “Crap, I’ve got to go. Call me, and I’ll tell you more at a later time. Have a nice day.”

Salmo nodded. “Okay.”

TPG was walking out the door, when he stopped himself and said “Hey, I forgot to mention, when you get the chance, talk to your friend, SuperSpongelishousness or whatever he’s called. We could use him, too.”

Salmo nodded. “Okay, will do.”

TPG walked out with a smile and a farewell, leaving Salmo sitting standing dazed in front of the desk. Boy, was it going to be an interesting day.
_______________________________________________________________________

Yoshi Boo examined his work carefully. Everything seemed in order. He scrolled along the screen, admiring his work, until he saw a bit of cutoff at the end. He pressed a button, and a loud vacuum sucked the pieces back up and placed them back from whence they came. Then, new tiles fell in the slot from where he had removed the previous ones with the push of another button, causing a loud thud. Then, a large carving knife started to shape up the tiles to his liking. There was a lot of noise, but none of it really bothered YB, mostly because he had gotten used to it, and partly because he loved to listen to music through headphones while he worked.

The next sound was quite unexpected: a frustrated scream from the other side of the room.

Vandarx stormed up the small flight of stairs to YB’s control panel, and said “Hey!” He didn’t notice, so she shouted it again. He still didn’t notice, so in a burst of anger, she jerked the headphones out of his ears, causing him to jump up in shock. He saw Vandarx and gasped out “What is your problem?”

“The noise!” she replied in anger. “All this freaking noise! For God’s sake, isn’t there anything you can do about it?”

“No, not really.” YB’s tone was one of exasperation.

Vandarx swore in frustration as a response.

“Look, if you don’t like it, you’re more than welcome to leave.” YB snapped.

“Right, and go where?” Vandarx scoffed. “I paid an arm and a leg for this space only to find out it wasn’t empty!”

“Then why didn’t you tell your realtor or whatever?” YB’s tone was no longer one of frustration, this time, it displayed curiosity and a hint of concern.

“You know what? I don’t have a clue why. I totally should have.” She replied, thinking. “We should totally go complain to him.”

“I’m with you on that one.” YB agreed. “Only, I don’t have a car. Do you?”

She nodded. “Out back. The one that looks like it’s been dipped in Tie-Dye.”

Yoshi Boo walked out to the back of the warehouse, and saw the rainbow-colored Honda Civic waiting for them. “Holy God…” he gasped.

Vandarx approached him and elbowed him in the side. “Well, let’s go, what are you waiting for?”

YB chuckled. “It does fit you though, I guess, that car does.”
________________________________________________________________

Salmo had dodged telling SuperSpongerific all day about the visit from the Portal Guru, too scared to tell him for no apparent reason. Something seemed to hold him back, but for the life in him, he couldn’t figure it out.

He sorted through it as we walked out of the school and to SuperSpongerific’s house. He didn’t look forward to the party, but he was at least gonna help. He knocked on the door, and it creaked open. Immediately Salmo gasped as he walked in to a shock

The party had already started.

And was that 16-year-old SuperSpongerific downing a whole beer bottle in one drink?

“Oh Dear Lord.” He gasped.

Chapter 3

Vandarx drove like she worked. In silence. Yoshi Boo made attempts to start a conversation, and every time he tried an awkward silence followed.

Trying to hide his exasperation, he faked a smile and said “Okay… apparently that one’s not gonna work. So… how’s the weather to you?”

More silence.

Yoshi Boo threw his hands in the air. “I give up.” He moaned. “I just- I give up. You’re like talking to a brick wall- or Runouw.” He slapped his forehead. “Are we there yet?” He asked without thinking, and then slapped himself in the forehead again.

The next thing he knew, Vandarx had shut her car door and was walking up the stairs to the realtor’s office. Smacking his head for a third time, he ran out of the car and walked up the stairs after her.

“Let me handle this, Diarrhea-of-the-mouth-man.” Vandarx snapped.

To make a long real-estate-talk-that-belongs-on-HGTV-that-left-Yoshi-Boo-confused-as-heck story short, the realtor told Vandarx “Well, give me a week or two, and I’ll have found a new place for you. My apologies for the mix-up, to both of you.”

Yoshi Boo sighed. “No harm done, I guess.”

Vandarx smiled. “I’ll be back when I get the chance to find a new workspace.”

The realtor nodded. “Have a pleasant day, Vandarx.”

She nodded. “I will.” While walking out the door. Yoshi Boo followed in silence.

Vandarx sighed. “Well, I only have another week of putting up with you.”

YB rolled his eyes. “Same here.”

Vandarx managed a slight smile. “By the way, I rather like the weather. Storms always soothe me.”

YB tried to hide his slight elation. “You are human.” He chuckled.

“I think.” She replied as she started the car. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Unfazed, she looked out the side to see a man about YB’s age standing at the door, peering in. She looked to her right to see if YB was actually in the car. He was, so she opened the door and said while maintaining a raised eyebrow “Can I help you, sir?”

YB looked over. “Oh hey Portal Guru.”

TPG nodded. “Hey YB. What are you and your girlfriend doing here?”

Vandarx punched TPG in the stomach, despite the fact that they had never met before.

TPG bent over and said “Okay… my mistake.”

YB helped TPG up and said “You okay?”

His friend threw his hands up in the air and said “Why do you hang out with this woman?”

YB simply shrugged. A slightly pained look came over Vandarx’s face, but she made quick work to hide it from them. “Long story. Anyway, what Didja need?”

TPG took a breath and said “Can I talk to the two of you? It’s important.”

Vandarx nodded. “Sure, but why the both of us?”

“Just follow me.” TPG rolled his eyes as he pointed to his car.

Vandarx put her hands up and shook her head. “Uhm… no way. No way in hell am I gonna get into some stranger’s car.”

TPG sighed, not wanting to but seeing no alternative. “Okay, take a look at this.” As he got out his wallet.

YB was shocked to see a badge there. Much more surprised to see a government agent’s badge.

“You wanna go with me now?” TPG asked Vandarx.
________________________________________________________________________________

It had been 15 minutes, and Yoshi Boo’s entire life had just been thrown for a loop.

One, his best friend was a government agent incognito.

Two, they had gotten the same talk Salmo had received.

Three, he wouldn’t be seeing the last of Vandarx.

He could throw a dart at either of those three to pick which one was the most distasteful to him.

TPG faced YB and said with a weak smile “Sorry I never told you. It’d be practically impossible.”

YB looked out the window of the Crown Victoria and said “No, no, it’s okay. It’s just now I can never trust another thing you say.”

TPG threw his hands in the air, almost crashing while he was at it since he was behind the wheel. “Look, you’re overreacting. It’s not like I try to lie to you. It’s not like I ever lie to you!”

“‘Hey, TPG, what are you doing over the weekend?’ ‘Oh, YB, the usual, I’m going out of town.’ ‘Okay, so is there a way I can reach you?’ ‘Probably not.’ ‘Okay, then, see you when you get back!’ ‘Okay, YB. Thanks for understanding.’ “YB finished his rehash of a typical conversation between them.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” TPG shouted back. “I didn’t want to lie to you! I had-“

Vandarx stepped in. “Hey, listen, punk. I don’t care what you meant or what your intent was. If I had spent an entire relationship being lied to, and for the record, I have, then I’d be pretty mad too, and for the record, I was.”

YB had to smile a bit at Vandarx’s comeback. Odd how sometimes she was annoyed by him and sometimes she was a close ally.

“So, at the very least,” TPG said, weary, “Kim and Kirb need you specifically for this task. I’m not authorized to tell you what it is, and to be honest, I barely know myself. So at the very least, give them a listen before you decide.”

Vandarx shrugged. “I’ll give it a shot.”

YB sighed. “I guess so… at least it’ll give me some answers.”

TPG smiled. “Cool. By the way, there should be some other people there. High School Students. Salmo and SuperSpongerific. They’ll be getting the job as well.”

YB nodded. He was starting to get a tad bit excited.

_______________________________________________________________________________

“WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” Salmo shouted out in horror.

SS held up the beer bottle. “This? Aw, it’s nothing. I do this all the time.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Salmo asked. “Who are all these people?”

“Friends of mine.” SS chuckled. “Who loooooooooooooooooooooooove a good time, am I right?” He started laughing out loud at nothing.

“What are you gonna tell your mom?” Salmo said in shock.

“You kidding?” SS hiccupped. “She loves this beer too. We’ll be just sitting there, drinking the beer, laughing and watching crappy comedy… it’s fun…”

Salmo nearly crapped himself. “You. And your mother. GET DRUNK TOGETHER?”

“All the time.” He hiccupped. “And…” he whispered into Salmo’s ear like he was telling a secret. “I tell you, I get the best inspiration for my writing, all in here.” He tapped on the beer bottle. “Now let me be. I wanna finish this.”

Salmo stumbled onto a couch in shock. Who was this kid, and what had he done with his best friend? Not knowing what else to do, he started to cry.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Kimonio and Kirby999 were waiting at their desks for the two visitors. Salmo and SS were not there.

YB looked at the two desks to see two people who looked a lot alike. They both had red hair, hers cropped and short, his shoulder length. They both had green eyes, they both were the same height, all in all, it was hard to tell them apart.

Vandarx spoke up. “Okay, I know I’m way off topic here, whatever the topic is, but are you-“

“Twins? Yes.” Kim smiled. “I’m Kimonio, and that is Kirby.”

“Charmed.” Kirby smiled as he waved.

“So, I bet you’re wondering why you’re here.” Kim asked. Before any of them could speak, she continued with “Well, I’ve said this snippet I’m about to share with you a thousand times. I don’t mind recapping it again for our missing friends.”

“She uses the exact same words every time, too.” Kirby added.

Kim smiled and began.

“Recently we’ve had a minor epidemic. An epidemic in which people, dedicated people, have had issues with their behavior, conduct and personality. We’ve had several people quit the site, like Sonicfan and Linkdroid. No one really knows you guys at all. So what this project, the EL33T is-“

“What does the EL33T stand for?” Yoshi Boo Asked.

Continuing as if she hadn’t even heard him, she continued “-a unit of the government that takes people with little-known talents and uses them to the fullest extent to go undercover, monitor people, and prevent them from starting flame wars and stuff and pretty much everything that tears our forum apart.”

“So…” Vandarx shrugged.

“So you’re going to be our eyes on the inside.” Kirby said.

All of them understood that.

“Dang you Kirb,” Kim elbowed her brother. “I love to make that speech.”

YB sighed as he realized that’s probably all that The Portal Guru was. Just someone to spy on him. He sighed but said nothing of it.

“And, TPG, for the record, you’ll be staying with our two teams.” Kim added.

All three of them seemed surprised at this. “Teams?” Vandarx asked.

Kim nodded. “You’ll be staying with the person you previously knew, to make sure YOU aren’t the ones who start the trouble.”

Cue the double face palm.

TPG spoke up “Uhm… that may not be the best of ideas, Kim.”

“You may be right.” Kim replied. “However, better people you know then people you don’t.”

“Not necessarily.” TPG put in.

“Someone’s been reading a bit too much VAGs, eh?” Kim grinned and finished the argument with “Either way, I’ve already made up my mind. Vandarx and Yoshi stay together, and so do Salmo and SuperSponge. Speaking of which, I’d better call them and pick them up.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Salmo woke up awhile after he had slumped over the couch when his cell phone rang. He felt guilty for even being there in that Beer House. He walked outside the empty space and answered it with “He-he-hello?”

“Hey, is this Salmo?” Kim asked.

“Yes… it is.”

“You met my friend Portal Guru, at school, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, he said for you to meet us here.”

“He did? I didn’t hear that.”

“It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes. Either way, I need to see you right now. So we’re going to pick you up. You’re at your friend’s house, right?”

“How… how… how did you-“

“We have our ways. So, we’ll be picking you up in a few minutes. See you then!”

“But-but-but-but-“

“This message will now self-destruct your phone.”

Salmo gasped and threw his phone on the ground and backed away. Nothing happened, except for Salmo faintly hearing her say “Boy, kid, you’re gullible. By the way, I’m Kim.”

“I… guess I’ll see you later, Kim.” Salmo gulped as she hung up.

Salmo instantly panicked. There was no way that they could see SuperSpongerific in his state. He’d be sent to jail. He ran up the stairs and saw SuperSponge puking in the toilet, door open. When he was finished, he said “YOU! GET OUT!”

Salmo pulled his fist back and said “I’m sorry, man. This will hurt me more than it hurts you.”

SS gasped. “What?”

Salmo simply punched his friend in the head, knocking him out cold. He slumped to the ground. Then, Salmo dragged him to the bottom of the stairs. No one had to know, he thought. No one has to know.

Chapter 4

“He’s dead?!”

Salmo sat in the hospital room in shock as Kim told him the news.

It had been two days, and everything had been put on hold as SuperSpongerific was put in the hospital. Salmo had told Kim and Kirby that he fell down the stairs, but didn’t mention that SS had gotten drunk. He was scared that something would happen and SuperSponge would be put in jail, hence, ruining his life.

He desperately wished he had let Kim and Kirby find him now. Like so many before him experiencing loss, he wished he could turn back time and prevent his mistake. He’d rather have a drunken friend than a dead friend.

Salmo stumbled into the hospital room, shutting and locking the door. He walked over to his bed, feeling like he was going to collapse. SuperSponge lay on the bed, unmoving eternally. Salmo couldn’t explain what had happened. How had this happened? All in 1 hour, his life had turned upside down.

He looked at SuperSponge’s corpse again. Smiling, even in death. He had left so much unfinished and so many people who cared about him, and he was smiling. That was so typical of him. Salmo looked at the monitor, wishing it would move to show a heartbeat. He stared at it for a full minute and nothing happened. That’s when he started crying.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered through his tears, “But I can’t tell anyone.”
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Kimonio was among the few people that attended SuperSponge’s funeral. While Vandarx and Yoshi Boo cared, it would have been awkward for them to have been there for a funeral for someone they didn’t know. Kirby had his own business-related reasons to not attend.

Brandobrawl was the only one that seemed a little happy at the funeral as he spoke. In the surprisingly sunny weather, he started with “It’s never a happy occurrence when we lose someone. I should know, this is my fourth funeral. The first time I lost someone, who was my sister, Ashley, I was devastated. I knew I would never see her again, but as the funerals went by, I realized death is nothing but a sacrifice on our part. SuperSponge is on a journey to the next phase of life, whatever it may be, I don’t know, ‘cause I’m not God. Now it is our turn to let him go and do whatever it is he will do. He left us a parting gift as well, and that is his legacy. Thanks for letting me speak.”

All Salmo could think was “Bull.”

He stepped down, marking the end of the funeral. The crowd took a last glance at the grave, which read “SuperSpongerific- 1994-2010.” Slowly they started to scatter.

Salmo glanced over at Kimonio, who was wiping her eyes with a tissue. He walked over to her, ready to leave, when he saw that there was still someone at the grave. Closer inspection revealed that it was one of his schoolmates, a girl named Venexis.

She looked up upon him tapping on her shoulder. She nodded to signify that she noticed him. She never talked much. Both of them looked at the grave in unified silence.

Venexis swerved around as she noticed that someone was tapping on her shoulder. It was Kimonio. Venexis nodded.

“Hello, Venexis. I know this is a bad time, but are you ready to go with us?” Kim asked.

Venexis nodded. Salmo gasped.

“Hold it- what’s going on?” he asked.

“With the events that have happened, I figured we’d need a replacement. I picked someone who knew you.” Kim explained.

“I cannot believe you can even focus on this!” he shouted in surprise. “Have you not noticed? My best friend is dead. How can I even focus on this? This is not the time?”

Kim wiped another tear from her eye. “I’d much prefer to go home, curl up into a blanket and cry into my ice cream, but I’ve got work to do. So do you. I mean, we still need you.”

Salmo sighed. “I guess…”
__________________________________________________________________________________

The 7-ball flew into the hole as Aznchau blew the dust off the end of his pool stick in satisfaction. It was 11:00pm, Niklaw’s Tavern, and it was nearly empty.
The only ones inside were Mic, Moy, Aznchau and Buffooner.

Buffooner stared at Aznchau in a mixture of respect and frustration. “Good shot.” He told him, a growl in his voice.

Moy was on a barstool, facing Mic. “Didja hear the news?” he asked Mic.

Mic shrugged. “I’m in charge of the news.”

“True.” Moy replied.

“However, if you would like to discuss the news, I’m open for that.”

Moy nodded. “Well, I heard that Linkdroid finally skipped town.”

Mic sighed. “Lucky you, eh? I mean, you guys were always at each other’s throats.”

“Don’t remind me.” Moy growled.

“What, about that barfight that put you in jail for a couple of days?”

“What part of ‘Don’t remind me’ eludes your grasp?”

Suddenly, the doors opened silently, a gunshot fired, and the door shut again. It was as if a bullet flew out of nowhere.

When the smoke cleared, Aznchau lay dead on the ground.

[MICrophone]

This looks good, but too early to tell as always. Still, I'm intrigued. Keep going!

[Sonicfan253]

Am I in it? im never in stories, probably because im ignored and unpopular

[MessengerOfDreams]

Sonicfan, you're in every single one of your stories. Vandarx has never been in one, and YB was mentioned once in Kympo.

Anyway, check back here in 5-10 minutes for chapter 1.

[brandoprojectm]

Hm....interesting. This story has great potential actually.

You haven't given much away plot-wise, but looks like things are coming together. The writing style could be better, but I guess all stories improve as time passes, so I'll let that one fly. The first parts were good, but the last part really intrigued me.

Let's just see how it goes! Good luck!

[MICrophone]

I really like what you're doing here MOY…again, it's still pretty early to give a fair review though. Your writing could use a bit of work, but otherwise quite good. One thing I want to warn you about; this is sounding like Buff's TLT stories, in which users are gathered from around the forums to form some uber-cool secret organization of some kind. Make sure you keep it original.

[Yoshi Boo 118]

he story just began, and I already love it! Can't wait to read more! 10/10

[Chaukai]

These people are Anon?

Anyways, seems good, although you really emphasize that apparently nobody at all notices them, which bugged me a bit, but it's still looking good.

[Highwire]

Loving it so far, MOY! I can already sense the working bond formed by YB and Vandarx!

9/10 so far, can't wait for more!

[Megar]

Awesome! I love the way you included me in it, best budds with Salmo!
You really nailed my personality aswell. (And heck, do i like making stories)
10/10 for awesomeness.