Oh god what now

[Blablob]

Okay, so we're having this huge writing assignment worth about 40% of our final grade. Our job is to write a short story. In 2 weeks, the entire assignment is due. For now, our job is to come up with a sketch for the main character, to highlight their overall role in the story. The sketch is due next week, and here is my rough draft of it:

My story will focus on a man whose name is Jacob Strong. Jacob is a 65 years old American who is a retired carpenter. He is currently married to Samantha Strong. Jacob’s health has deteriorated over the years; his doctor says he has one year left to live at best. Jacob never did well in school, earning mostly Cs and Ds, and once in a while a B or A. He was born and currently lives in Austin, Texas.

To begin, Jacob is a man with a good heart. Realizing he doesn’t have much longer to live, Jacob’s desire is to spend the remainder of his life with Sam, his wife. He tries to maintain a positive outlook on life and its inhabitants. Therefore, his other desire is to treat people with as much respect as he can give, even if they don‘t reciprocate. His true goal--his life mission--is to die knowing he has made a difference in people’s hearts.

Also, Jacob owns a few possessions of which hold special meaning to him. He owns a bow, still untouched for 10 years--the very one he used to hunt for food before he got a job as a carpenter. The bow reminds Jacob of, “The good ol’ days,” as he describes it. He also owns a few carpentry tools, such as screwdrivers and hammers. Jacob claims that if ever his house is in need of repair, his wife will thank him for his possession of tools and knowledge of carpentry.

Moving on, there is but one possession Jacob has that not even the largest sacrifice would be worth. He owns a golden coin passed down from his own father over 50 years ago when he found it. This coin is from 1853, and the value worth is unknown. The coin reminds Jacob of his heroic great-grandfather, who served in the Cayuse War--his great-grandfather was killed in the same year that the coin was issued. Jacob views the coin as a symbol rather than a currency, as he believes the coin is worth good luck. However, he almost never carries it around, otherwise, as Jacob says, “The luck’ll run out. And quick.”

Jacob gets along with his friends and wife very well. He used to have somewhat of a pessimistic outlook on life. But the thought of his death, which is inevitably close, has changed his views of people altogether. He is more optimistic towards people’s opinions, and tries to understand and respect them rather than simply tolerate them.

Other people, specifically neighbors, don’t always see Jacob as a man trying to redeem his life before he dies. Many people see him as a frightened man who isn’t sure what to do in the world. Others see his actions as a sure sign of insanity. They usually cover their dark thoughts with kindness and compassion, since they feel sorry for him. His wife, on the other hand, is the only one who truly understands his motives. She sees his attitude as an act of redemption for himself.



What do you guys think? Is there anything I should improve on? Any ideas for a major conflict I could do? I would like some input on this. Later when everything is complete, I will post the full story.

[MICrophone]

Jacob never did well in school, earning mostly Cs and Ds, and once in a while a B or A.

Cut that line…it adds nothing to your background.

The conflict I would have is Sam unexpectedly dying and then Jacob having to deal with it - how will his viewpoints, his attitude, his life change?

[Blablob]

Jacob never did well in school, earning mostly Cs and Ds, and once in a while a B or A.

Cut that line…it adds nothing to your background.

Can't. The teacher requires that we provide an education background.

[MICrophone]

OK.

[Blablob]

Okay, I have part of my plot figured, and, as you'll notice by my description, the main character is quite different than when I described him in the sketch. But that's okay. My teacher explains that it's fine that a sketch and actual story can have little in common. Anyways, here's the summary of what I plan to be my short story:

--A man, by the name of Jacob Strong, has fearfully anticipated visiting a trip to the doctor's office for six months now. Jacob is a 65 year old Texan who lives with his wife (no name).
Jacob has had a nicotine addiction for about 35 years; an addiction like that can't do anything but harm to a 65 year old. He is frightened of what the results will be for him. The question rang in his head like a bell: will he die?
His wife, on the other hand, loves doctors. She embraces them and their work; she does not fear them.
The day finally comes when Jacob must go to the hospital for a check-up. After the doctor takes a look at Jacob's major organs, he comes to a terrifying conclusion that Jacob has only a month to live.
Jacob spends the rest of the day being nice to his neighbors and friends, feeling he owes them that much, while at the same time sobering on the inside. He never reveals to anybody the horrifying news (except his wife, who already knows).
Backing up, the time of day Jacob went in for an appointment, Jacob's wife was also due for an appointment. She was due for two shots.
That being said, it was a very strange twist of fate that Jacob's wife died later that day--after her body was examined, it was determined that the shots she recieved were not the ones she was due for; the doctor she met with was not a real doctor.
Not only that, but the doctor whom Jacob met with called him later that day, explaining he had mixed up Jacob's results with someone else's, and that Jacob was going to live after all.
The ironic twist of fate is that Jacob feared doctors and Jacob's wife loved doctors, yet she was the one to die and he was the one to live.

I still have yet to come up with any kind of real conclusion with the story, so if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. This plot is subject to change as I think of new ideas. So, what do you guys think of it?
(BTW, my short story can only be 5 pages maximum, 12 in. font, double-spaced; in case you were wondering about size)

[Ridder]

(In the core of a hydra-super-ultra machine, Fake Doctor and Jacob Strong are at their limit, with Clint Eastwood on a horse, and near the end of the battle, with the reactor core almost completely charged, Jacob fears he has only one option.)


Jacob Strong: Fake Doctor! Going to the hell seems to become you and me.

Clint Eastwood: Jacob Strong!

Jacob: Only a person who exceeds Badass can become Badass. Clint Eastwood, (Turns head to Clint Eastwood) You are the Original Badass from today.

Clint: *GASP*

*Fake Doctor jumps from his ambulance that's sinking into the vortex of the reactor core, Jacob does the same.*
Fake Doctor: I DO NOT DIE! IT WILL NOT DIE!!!!!

Jacob: JACUUUUBBBBBBBB PONCHHHHHHHHUUUUU!!!!!!
Clint: Jacob Strong!
*Huge burst of electricity emits from the punch, reactor core explodes, with Jacob and Fake Doctor disintergrating forever, Clint manages to survive.*

*Insert several galaxies exploding*

*End wepix Japanese music here.*



And that, children, is how you end a story.

[MICrophone]

The conclusion should be that Jacob sits down dumbfounded after learning of his doctor's mixup and then ponders the events, concluding with the realization of the irony of the situation.

[Blablob]

Hm....MIC's seems more real, but Ridder's is much moar exciteeng.


Hm....who to choose.






For the sake of Clint, I shall choose...............MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC
(but I'll probably edit it so it doesn't seem TOO much like I'm copying you....kthxbai )

[Buff_]

Somewhere in the story you have to have an explosion. I don't care what it is, as long as there is one and it involves fire and it is over sized... like the movies.

[Ridder]

Like Inglorious ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥? :L