by Joshio01 » November 3rd, 2015, 3:39 am
Breaking news! Scientists have had a breakthrough with their understanding of the universe and have recently discovered that swimming in acid is hazardous to your health! A great deal of research has been done on this subject but only now have scientists gotten to this surprising conclusion. Our reportor Bowser Jr. is currently interviewing the amazing man who drew this conclusion.
Jr: Thanks dad. Ok Mr. John Smith, our viewers are just dying to know, how long has this research project been going on for and what does it aim to achieve?
John: Well Jr I'm glad you asked that. Project ♥♥♥ (Acid Swimming Survival) was started by the american government just over 7 months ago after several children had reportedly died from this very incident. At that point we decided to start doing some research on the acid pools and how they work in the hope of one day helping to prevent the loss of future lives.
Jr: so according to this research log, you have successfully run around 210 tests with these acid pools and how they effect swimmers. What did these involve?
John: What we do first is gather some volunteers. From the beginning we decided to use children as the number of complaints that we got from all these deaths were from mothers who had left their children to swim in the acid pools. Once we've done that, we refill the acid pool ready for testing. And we usually follow our standard procedure for our experiments after that and record the results.
Jr: so what exactly is the standard procedure?
John: We always start out by planning the tests. At this stage, somebody normally suggests putting the children in the acid pool in some way. Our later experiments have involved studying what happens under a microscope from a fair distance above the pool. After this we record what happens.
Jr: Do you at all think that that is, well, you know, a bit cruel and insane?
John: Not at all. This is necessary research that we are using to establish whether or not acid pools are harmful to people.
Jr: So you say you've come to the conclusion that acid pools are indeed harmful. What made you think that this was the case?
John: Well at first we thought it was a bit odd but it soon became more clear. Amazingly all the results turned out positive 100% of the time. We could not figure out why until recently after our 1045th test subject died in the acid pool. Our team was mind-blown after we found out that this was true. At that point the evidence was fairly clear, however, we still plan to test this a few more times just to be sure that it is true.
Jr: Interesting. So you basically threw children into an acid pool 1045 times before you found out that it kills people.
John: That is correct, but remember that we still need to confirm that. We cannot jump to conclusions.
Jr: OK that concludes our questions. Thank you for your time John Smith.
John: My pleasure.
Jr: and now back you you Bowser 2007.
Thank you Jr. Although Project ♥♥♥ claims that acid pools are dangerous, the acid pool company APools denies it and tells us that their pools have been tested and are of acceptable quality and they assure us that every single one of their designs is 100% safe. We'll have more information on this topic tomorrow.
NEXT UP ON AFTER DUSK NEWS:
-Hundreds of Internet explorer users protest in front of the white house demanding that something must be done about the Ebola Virus.
-North Korea fails to launch nuclear missiles at an in-coming asteroid, causing the deaths of thousands of people.
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Eyyy look at my new avatar. It even has terrible image quality!
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this is BY's sig, pls don't say i'm a stealer, this has bee here since I first joined
