The Fake News Network

[l.m]

Newsflash: I'm dead.

also congrats this is the 60th post

[PositronWildhawk]

Newsflash: FF cannot do math. That was the 60th reply, not post.

[Joshio01]

Breaking news! We've just received word that Justin Bieber, the well known and hated musician, has tragically died in a car accident on his way home to his 3 story mansion. According to bystanders, Justin Bieber was speeding down a street in his car at it's top speed of 240 km/hour while talking to his 'friend' who had apparently dared him to perform this dangerous stunt. As he was approaching the end of the highway, he lost control of the vehicle and crashed into the other lane, hitting another car and putting an old lady in a coma as well as causing a traffic jam on a colossal scale. The other woman is currently in hospital and her doctors tell us she won't be leaving any-time soon. She is currently being sued by Bieber's 3 lawyers for not driving carefully enough and will face court after her treatment is complete. Justin's fans are devastated, however his family do not seem to mind and are throwing a party this Saturday in celebration of his death. They tell us that all JB haters are invited and that there will be cake. There will be more on this topic after this commercial break.

*And now a word from our sponsors!*
(insert advertisement for some crappy product here)

[Supershroom]

hohohohoho

Breaking news! The 30th LDC has finally started!

[PositronWildhawk]

Breaking news! Shroom isn't lying!

[Joshio01]

This is just in. We've received word that the pope, head of the catholic church, has cancelled Christmas for this year. He claims that, now that there are not enough Christians who believe in the true meaning of Christmas, the whole holiday is a waste of time and valuable money. Children and teachers from all over the world are complaining as the Christmas holidays have been replaced with more school weeks. "This is an outrage! How are we teachers supposed to relax and see our families if we are working through all the other holiday periods?" asks teacher Lordpat. Some schools are simply refusing to accept students over the Christmas period and are going as far as to go on strike until this matter is resolved. Christians from all over the globe are devastated about this also, as they can no longer go to their beloved church on Christmas day. Parents seem to be the only ones who are relieved, saying that they are glad that they don't have to get their children presents 'from Santa' any more. Our reporter Bowser Jr. is currently in front of the pope's house now.

Jr: Thanks Bowser. As you can see, these protesters are relentless, getting up at 4:00 am just to complain about this issue.
Leader: WHAT DO WE WANT?
Protesters: CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
Leader: WHEN DO WE WANT IT????
Protesters: ON THE 25th OF DECEMBER!!!!
Jr: I don't know how the pope manages to get any sleep with this racket going on outside his house. Still, he doesn't appear to be giving in any time soon. Back to you Bowser.

What a catastrophe. I sure hope this clears up soon or this could spell the end of the catholic church.

NEXT UP ON AFTER DUSK NEWS:

-Mario has finally retired after over 25 years of plumbing and saving the world. YES!
-NanTheDark, also know as Dusk, has announced that he plans to make a video game out of his popular forum game Into The Shadows.
-Donald Trump has decided to stop attempting to become the president of the United States of America, telling us that he is worried that he will get no votes.

[NanTheDark]

Now we will show a picture of the game that Nan is working on.



He's also stated that the current graphics are placeholders.

In other news, Square Enix is currently in the process of suing Nan. More about this later.

[1018peter]

Now we will show a picture of the game that Nan is working on.



He's also stated that the current graphics are placeholders.

In other news, Square Enix is currently in the process of suing Nan. More about this later.

Why is Ramuh the white mage,and why is Shiva the fighter? Disgusting.

==================================================================================================

Breaking news! A coup occurred in America! Several politicians reveal themselves as martians in disguise,including the famed president Barack Obama!

"No wonder why he got elected. He's an alien all along! A black trash can never be the president of USA!",a racist mailman said. Several men attacked him shortly after.

The leader of the coup,Barack "Martian" Obama declares the following:
1. The army of the United States is now under the jurisdiction of the Martian Government,and is forced to obey their orders or have their lives taken away by force.
2. All states of America are now under the jurisdiction of the Martian Government,and shall be taken as colonies of Mars,with no democracy to speak of.
3. The citizens of the United States are now under the jurisdiction of the Martian Government,and must obey the laws of Mars. Rebelling results in a life-long torture that only worsens overtime.
4. Texas shall be utterly annihilated by the deadly Martian weapon,the "Bishop Laser" (Fired from Mars),in order to create land for a brand new Martian city.
5. America no longer belongs in the United Nations,as the new leader comes from a different planet.
6. Our army shall lay waste to the rest of Earth. However,if you submit your country's leadership to us peacefully,we'll guarantee you a ticket to Mars and the permission to live on Mars in peace.

"That's bullcrap! I'm not moving just because you want to find a place for your city!",a Texan said. A Martian appeared from his back and tased him with a spear-like weapon shortly after.

Waves of Americans are trying to flee to Mexico,but are blocked outside of the border by the Mexican military.
The ports and the airports are all closed down by the new Martian government,many pilots tried to fly their planes anyways,but only resulted in getting shot down by Laser Cannons. All internet connection has been sealed,and all satellites of America has been shot down,making Americans isolated from the rest of the world.

Rumors have it that the Martians are tied in with the Illuminati,but we are still unable to confirm such thing.


Now,a message from our sp-BZZT-BZZT-BZZT

[Supershroom]

Breaking news, El Chapo has been re-caught

[PositronWildhawk]

Breaking news, OJ does not know how to abbreviate my name