Mario's Christmas

[Danny]

Mario's Christmas
This is a easy level about Christmas. You need to dress up as a Santa Claus ,and then find 8 red coins for Shine Sprite.
I try my best to make falling snow but they still can go up.
Maybe you think it's very easy to complete.
I just want to make a level to celebrate Christmas.
Merry Christmas!

Code: Select all

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[danny18078]

I personally liked this level, but here is the review. I am no expert critic, so I'll try rating like them:

Graphics
4/5
The tiles were o.k, I saw no cutoff at all. You put a decent amount of decor: rocks and trees. The only problem I had was a humongous house and a tiny room. ?

Gameplay
I'm sorry to say this, but 2/5.
It was a little repetitive, so many log jumps and clouds, constantly jumping. The red coins were either too easy to find or too odd to be expected. I liked the whole Santa thing, but at the begging, it was too many logs to climb for fat Mario/Santa to handle.

Other
+1 Falling snow. You worked hard on that.
+1 Very well done house interior, such as a bed, fire place, etc.
-0.5. What is the point of the doors?
2.5/5

So the final result is...
2.8333333333_~3 stars!
Merry Christmas to you, Danny. Sorry if I was harsh in my rating. This was like...my second try rating a level.

[HickRanger]

I like the trees and the falling snow - the graphics are a plus here.

The first problem I have with the level is the first sign:

Alright,today,you need to dress up as a Santa Claus. And the mission is to put the gift in the Christmas house. First,you should go into the Christmas house. These log can help you climb up the wall.

Ignoring the grammatical issues (i.e. you forgot some spaces, second sentence is dependent on first but they are not linked in any way), there are two issues I have with it.

Firstly, the motivation is odd. Mario needs to dress up as a Santa Claus and put the gift in the Christmas house... why?
Is he Santa? Did he make a bet with Luigi? Does Mario just have some screws loose? This is a common issue I find which can be easily remedied.

The second problem I have with it is how obvious the rest of the information is.
"You need to put the gift into the house. First, you should go into the house." This feels like you are underestimating the intelligence of your players.
This is similar to an instance in Super Mario Galaxy many galaxies in where you are swimming to a far shore and an unavoidable penguin swims to you and tells you something important halfway through your swim:

Press A to swim!

The similarity is that the information provided is almost definitely already known by the player.
How else would the gift get inside the house? It's not like it has a mail slot.

The information that the logs will help us get up the wall is also very obvious.
Even if you do not read the sign, there are arrows pointing up, and no other way to get up besides the logs.

Now, my first level posted here, Bowser's Challenges (http://runouw.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=80&t=50013), has a Shine Sprite trap on the far left.
The trap is that the Shine Sprite is above lava. If you take the Shine Sprite and there is nothing between you and the lava, you will fall in and die.
Now, this is different than your situation because players will likely not know that falling into lava with the Shine Sprite will prevent you from ending the level.
Therefore, this situation should be explained to the player in a way that will inform new players, but not be irritating to older players who know this.

In the level, this is done in two ways: First, you see that there is lava underneath the Shine Sprite, and nothing in between.
Older players will see this and recognize that there is a trap, but newer players may not. So more is required.
Therefore, there is a sign beside the trap reading:

Mario has found the Shine Sprite, his key to victory! Bowser, maliciously grinning, suggests that Mario go ahead and take the item...
Is this another of Bowser's traps, or is the moon made of cheese?

This heavily implies, but does not outright state, that this is a trap. You should not state the obvious, ever.

After you get in the house, the level forgets its premise entirely and focuses on red coins. This is a misstep.
If I were making this level, I would make it focus on getting into the house.

In terms of gameplay, the level is repetitive. You jump on logs, and clouds, and logs...
There is a very large number of logs here. That isn't bad, but you need to mix it up a little or use the logs differently for it to be fun.

So, in conclusion:
You need to understand what the player would know when playing.
You need to put more variety in the level in terms of gameplay.
You need to explain the motivations in your story, if you choose to make one.
You need to pick one story for your level - one goal - and stick with that goal.

This level gets a 2/5 from me. These issues can be fixed if you put yourself in the player's position.
I am sure that you will improve over time.