Mario's Temporal Travels

Forum rules
This forum is for fanfictions only.

Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby Yoshi Boo 118 » December 2nd, 2010, 4:32 pm

You can sort of guess what this is about, but to find out more you'll have to read on. :P
Warning this story will involve many Mario games so if you hate spoilers you might not want to read after the prologue.

Image

Prologue: show
Prologue:
Egad had the final preparations ready. "Mario, you know your mission. Do you choose to accept it?"

Mario's eyes rolled. "Doc, did you REALLY have to say that? You told me you wouldn’t say it…”

“Aww…but I’ve always wanted to say that…anyways, you know that we can’t have history be torn apart, unless you want Bowser and the other baddies to rule the Universe…”

“I know, Doc, I know.” Mario stared at the futuristic wristwatch on his arm. The watch had many buttons on it. “So…what’s this thing called again?”

“The Temporal Watch Accelerator Traveler.”

“Wait…don’t its initials spell *whispers*?”

“…oh, you’re right. Guess I hadn’t noticed that. How about the Temporal Travelrizor, or T.T. for short?”

“Fine by me. So, are we ready to go?”

“Well, just to remind you, I have the first coordinates set for September 13, 1985-”

“Doc, AMERICAN, not Japanese.”

“…my mistake.” Egad reconfigured the watch on Mario’s arm. “The coordinates are set for March of 1986. Now, as I have explained, most of your previous brethren will not recognize you as you have, shall we say, changed your look very much from your latest adventures. But I must warn you of two things: Do NOT get the T.T. wet in anyway. The parts used to make this aren’t found in many places in the past, and I fear that you will be trapped in the past without the T.T. Also, make sure that you don’t go to the future. As you have not experienced those journeys yet, you may not be ready to complete the obstacles that lie ahead in those adventures. Now, are you ready?”

Mario took a deep breath and tightened his grip. “…I’m ready, Doc. So, I just push the green button, travel back in time, and when I’m done with that area the coordinates will change to the next destination?”

“Correct, Mario. Also, don’t forget that you are to be known as “The Being” when you travel in the past.. We don’t want the space time continuum falling apart, do we? Now, GO and travel to the past!”

Mario pressed the green button on the Temporal Travelrizor. Ripples of light started to appear around him. Soon enough, a golden circle of light enveloped him and disappeared in a burst of blinding rays of more light. And just like that, Mario’s Temporal Travels had begun.





Rate and Comment :D
Last edited by Yoshi Boo 118 on December 17th, 2010, 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ImageImage

Awesome Things, and My Works: show
ImageImage

Credit to Buff for my normal avatar and lordpat for the Red Yoshi sig. Ninny made the Valentine's Gift. <3 Thanks!


Click on the left and right side of my main signature to see my Level Series (Paper Mario 63) and my Levels!

Stories (That are more than just a prologue long):
Unlocked (One of my first stories, pretty much abandoned now)
Koopa's Final Blow (Halloween 2011)
Resonance (Posted here first, but other link is better)
The Gibus Games (TF2 related)
My fanfics are posted here, where the most recent updates will be on.

Image
User avatar
Yoshi Boo 118
Ex umbra in solem

 
Posts: 1700
Joined: October 17th, 2009, 4:05 pm
Location: Ever heard of Yoshi's Mansion?

SM63 Level Designer Contest Winner
1st Place in the Runolympics SM63 LDC Event. Congratulations!

Thumbs Up given: 139 times
Thumbs Up received: 102 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby Oranjui » December 2nd, 2010, 6:46 pm

Fantastic.
Time Travel Deliciousness; Secret Awesomeness; Beautiful Everything Elseness. :awe:


9.5/10 :mrgreen:
User avatar
Oranjui
Minister of Oerhaos

 
Posts: 1914
Joined: June 26th, 2010, 6:49 am

Runolympics 2015 MVP

Thumbs Up given: 388 times
Thumbs Up received: 188 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby Dr. Ocsid » December 3rd, 2010, 11:44 am

Dats awessome! 9.8/10!
Image
You may know me by another name...: show
toleboy
toleboy1
Stupid Chatter
Da ♥♥♥♥
Mariox63
Mootiepointy
Mariox64
TheMX64
Discord
User avatar
Dr. Ocsid
Code: Awesome

Error contacting Twitter
 
Posts: 480
Joined: September 15th, 2010, 3:36 pm
Location: Over the river and through the woods

Thumbs Up given: 15 times
Thumbs Up received: 11 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby MessengerOfDreams » December 3rd, 2010, 2:24 pm

I have to admit, Yoshi Boo, for the average Mario Fanfic, I don't expect too much. There have been pretty much no real successes that come to mind, and this will most likely be the first.

The plot is really original, not your typical platformer. I could see this as an RPG video game. And you gave Mario CHARACTER! He's actually relatable, and holy crap he talks! I bet a lot of better Fanfic writers do that as well, but this looks promising. Also, there's a healthy dose of humor. I really can't wait for this.

BTW is the date the release of the first Mario game?
Image
Image

My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3

Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
"You were always a revolutionary, now there's just less of a chance of you crying in the corner." ~Ridder
User avatar
MessengerOfDreams
Moderator

Error contacting Twitter
 
Posts: 6615
Joined: August 16th, 2009, 11:31 am
Location: When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Winter
2016 Story Contest

Thumbs Up given: 519 times
Thumbs Up received: 707 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby Yoshi Boo 118 » December 3rd, 2010, 2:41 pm

You got it. :P Well, maybe not the first first, but one of the first. Each date will give you a hint about what will happen in each chapter. :D
ImageImage

Awesome Things, and My Works: show
ImageImage

Credit to Buff for my normal avatar and lordpat for the Red Yoshi sig. Ninny made the Valentine's Gift. <3 Thanks!


Click on the left and right side of my main signature to see my Level Series (Paper Mario 63) and my Levels!

Stories (That are more than just a prologue long):
Unlocked (One of my first stories, pretty much abandoned now)
Koopa's Final Blow (Halloween 2011)
Resonance (Posted here first, but other link is better)
The Gibus Games (TF2 related)
My fanfics are posted here, where the most recent updates will be on.

Image
User avatar
Yoshi Boo 118
Ex umbra in solem

 
Posts: 1700
Joined: October 17th, 2009, 4:05 pm
Location: Ever heard of Yoshi's Mansion?

SM63 Level Designer Contest Winner
1st Place in the Runolympics SM63 LDC Event. Congratulations!

Thumbs Up given: 139 times
Thumbs Up received: 102 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby MICrophone » December 3rd, 2010, 2:47 pm

Heh, reminds me of Back to the Future.

As somebody who doesn't play videogames, I don't really get all of the references, and I feel like you maybe stressed humor too much in the beginning (though I did get the Japanese/American release date mix-up and was amused). It's still pretty early, but with those things aside, I think this is pretty good.
MICrophone
Master of Sarcasm

 
Posts: 2236
Joined: August 10th, 2009, 7:30 am

Credit To Team

Thumbs Up given: 59 times
Thumbs Up received: 38 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby brandoprojectm » December 3rd, 2010, 3:25 pm

MessengerOfDreams wrote:I have to admit, Yoshi Boo, for the average Mario Fanfic, I don't expect too much. There have been pretty much no real successes that come to mind, and this will most likely be the first.


AHEM.

Anyway, it's looking good Yoshi Boo. The dialogue was a bit too silly to be serious, but not really funny enough to be humorous. A little advice: you can't really stay in the middle of that spectrum, unless you know how to balance it well. Try to go towards one of the far ends first.
Just remember this, when you see her on the street.

I'm the cruelest girl you'll ever meet.
User avatar
brandoprojectm
Prophet of Shadowsquid

Error contacting last.fm
 
Posts: 1467
Joined: August 1st, 2009, 6:44 pm
Location: ...

Thumbs Up given: 12 times
Thumbs Up received: 159 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby Panik! » December 3rd, 2010, 3:28 pm

I like it! But I don't really love it. Great start though!!! :)

8.7/10 so far
User avatar
Panik!
Honorary Member

Error contacting last.fm
 
Posts: 430
Joined: September 19th, 2010, 1:51 pm
Location: Indiana. There's corn. CORN EVERYWHERE.

Thumbs Up given: 11 times
Thumbs Up received: 25 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby RedLink » December 7th, 2010, 12:36 pm

it was.. good. The time travel thing your not the first but going back in time to each Mario game IS original. which i like :awe: Its not hahahha rofl funny but hehe chuckle funny. I give you a 8.7/10 :music:
1 YEAR WITH YOU GUYS...WOO...
:D--My Stories!! Please read
Watch This HATERS: show
Image
This Too: show
Image
Oh and this: show
Image
How Ponies Party: show
Image
My OC Pony: show
Image
Awesome trophy made by SK! HE IS BAWS!: show
Image

ImageMade by LordFalcon :D
╔♥══════††††††══════════♥
║ Jesus Don't give two ♥♥♥♥
║ if he being mentioned
║ in some Sig. JustSaying
║ P.S I am an Atheist ;)
╚♥══════††††††══════════♥
User avatar
RedLink
Veteran

 
Posts: 385
Joined: October 7th, 2010, 10:33 am
Location: Now: Chile. Soon: Equestria.

Thumbs Up given: 3 times
Thumbs Up received: 6 times

Re: Mario's Temporal Travels

Postby Oranjui » December 7th, 2010, 2:31 pm

I reread it. It's the release date of SMB1, right? It's still awesome. [awe][/awe]
Last edited by Oranjui on February 22nd, 2011, 2:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
Oranjui
Minister of Oerhaos

 
Posts: 1914
Joined: June 26th, 2010, 6:49 am

Runolympics 2015 MVP

Thumbs Up given: 388 times
Thumbs Up received: 188 times

Next

Return to Fanfictions