Words and Action: At A Loss

[MessengerOfDreams]

A/N-wat tah fuuuuuu is dis story doing back heer?

Yeah, in the spirit of 5th, 6th and 7th drafts, here is my newest version of Words and Action!

Now you’re probably all thinking “wat therez only 1 draft der wat the fak is rong with yu.” First off, how do you talk bad grammar? It’s just… nevermind. Second off, I’ve edited the contest entry twice already before sending it in, extending the end. Then I edited it again, just adding in a few lines and straightening it out. Then I did an extension of the end further out, as well as some other dialogue additions. And now, after some heavy criticism from my friends Aznchau and Mungorory (from my homesite of Runouw dot com (the best place ever) and from real life, respectively) for the story’s unreal elements (mainly where Peach preaches the villain to death), so I edited it again. I was just getting ready to finish and post the newest copy and call it complete when I started creating this backstory… and it just couldn’t have been left as a passing note.

I guess I should state that upon my creation of Words And Action v1.0 for PitFTW/Foxpilot’s contest, that it was a dual-intentioned story; I based the characters off of Peach and Farrow, but I also added my own twists and content to create them as my own characters in a more realistic version that I could touch up and send to local publishers. Finding a perfect balance between In Character and My Characters. That’s the main reason I’ve edited it over and over.
So this isn’t going to be a oneshot, this is going to be somewhere around ten chapters and 20,000 words; and the original oneshot is by now so changed that all you’d recognize is the skeleton and some dialogue. For the official Words and Action, it’s not going to be nearly as light; it’s going to be more dramatic and heavy, but I’ll retain some humor, particularly the points that made you all laugh. (Son of a ♥♥♥♥♥’s cousin twice removed anyone?) Falco(Farrow in my IRL version) and Peach (Prim) will also be somewhat changed, but not majorly at all, just characteristics and expansion.

Now keep in mind, I’m not going to work heavily on this until I finish Paradigms, which I should (or better, considering it’s the deadline) before June, considering I’ll get a short chapter out every 4/5 days and there’s 2/3 left. But after that I’ma trailblaze, and also get some done now (and my project one-shot, which will be done soon).

But to tide you over (and to shut me up) here’s a preview for you! Words And Action, the official version! (And when I say official, that’s very tentative. XD)

Oh and for those of you who didn’t wanna read this wall of text

1. Redoing all of my oneshot for PitFTW/Foxpilot’s contest.
2. Making it a chapter fic
3. Doubling it as a real life story to publish hopefully
4. Gonna be worked on more during summer.
5. Working on a mystery oneshot as well.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, regret nothing. I let them forget nothing.

Alrighty, now that my disclaimer has… taken up a whole freaking page… Words and Action!
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“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better run, run, run, outrun my gun!”

Rob’s singing was stopped by a wing to the chest. The owner of said wing, Farrow, gave him a sneering laugh and said “You know you’re ♥♥♥♥ for singing, right?”

Rob removed the wing with a chuckle and replied “That sucks for you, birdbrain- run, run, run, run from my bullet.”

Farrow punched him in the side and grinned ever so slightly as they drove down Fourth street, the largest street in the city. “You just can’t take a hint, can ya?”

“Oh, I took your hint, if you can call it that, and I told it to piss off.”

“Hah, say what you want. You still can’t sing worth ♥♥♥♥.”

“Bah, says you. And it’s not like you croon like a songbird.”

At this, Farrow started to crack up with laughter, shaking from the passenger’s side. “Look, dude,” he told Rob in between breaths. “No matter how many times you try to make bird puns about me, it’s never going to be funny.”

“Oh, really?”

“Dude, I’ve been your partner for, what, a year and a half now?”

“About that long.”

“And your friend for four years beforehand, right?”

“If you don’t know this by now, then… whatever, yes, I have been.”

“And you’ve made a bird pun at least once every day during that five and a half years, right?”

“Yes, I have. Perhaps.”

“And how many times do you think I’ve laughed?”

Rob was silent, looking out on the road with a goofy smile.

“That’s right! Not even once! Well, until now but that’s because they’re so damn stupid that I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Farrow slapped his knee and laughed again, and Rob couldn’t help but join in as he pulled over by a nearby riverside park. They both opened their doors and walked out onto the path, securing their guns in their holsters.

"Dude, why the hell do you even make bird puns about me?" Farrow had to ask.

"You don't remember that summer when-"

"Yeah, I remember that summer, that one summer-"

"That summer where you were obsessed with birdwatching, right the hell out nowhere?"

"That one summer!" Farrow laughed.

"It still was there!" Rob elbowed him.

"Bah, whatever," from Farrow ended the conversation right there and then, as they walked onto the trail.

“Nothing yet, Farrow,” Rob observed the area. “It’s been a really quiet evening.”

“Say a damn thing about ‘too quiet’ and I’ll snap your tail off with a pair of tweezers,” Farrow replied, making a quick area scan of his own.

Rob laughed, patting Farrow on the back. “I wasn’t going to, but you did.”

“Damn!” he replied, putting a hand out to try and catch rain that wasn’t there. “Hmm, no rain tonight. Thank God, I was about to flip a ♥♥♥♥♥ on the weatherman.”

“I have no doubt you would, Fal.”

The two remained silent as they walked the riverside, the tree-lined path only a few hundred feet away from the road. Finally, Rob snapped his fingers and grinned. “That was it! I wanted to ask you, did you get word on the High School Reunion yet?”

“Already?” Farrow responded, surprised but not taking his eyes off the path. “It’s been, what, five years?”

“A lot can change in five years, dude,” he responded simply.

“Yeah, for you. So much that if I talked about it it’d sound like bad exposition.”

Rob laughed at that and put a hand to his mouth. “Oh, that Rob guy? You mean one of the top cadets in the whole Lylat City Police Squad?” he shouted, in a style similar to an announcer. “The guy engaged to the hottest woman in all the land? The guy who scored two tickets to the Knights/Warlocks game next week? Oh, what a guy! I’d love to be him!”

In a high falsetto, he added “I’d love to do him!”

Back in his normal voice, he added “Sorry, dashing young lady, but my heart belongs to another!”

Farrow was laughing with his forehead in his hand. “My god, you’re unspeakably lame, you know that?”

“Hey, the lamest guy in all the land doesn’t score the hottest chick, which is more than I can say for you,” Rob sneered. “Also, I really did score those Knights/Warlocks tickets. “

“…shut up.”

Rob pulled the tickets out and put one in front of Farrow’s face. “Friday Night, 2 o’clock. You in?”

Farrow snatched the ticket with greedy joy. “Am I in? Hell ♥♥♥♥ yeah I’m in!” he laughed. “I’ve been in for, like, three months before you bought the damn things!”

Rob laughed. “But, yeah, it’s right before the reunion.”

“Dude, ♥♥♥♥ the reunion,” was the response. “We got the tickets!”

Rob laughed at his insane joy. “Hey, lighten up to the idea. I hear Kat’s going.”

Farrow stopped.

“Gotcha there,” Rob grinned.

“What can I say?” Farrow shrugged, putting the ticket in his wallet.

"Well, I was going to make a joke about a cat eating a bird, but, hey, I should try showing some class for once."

"Go to hell!" Farrow laughed, elbowing him in the side.

“Ah, I’ll hassle you later,” Rob said with a shrug. “Oh, have you seen the new trailer for The Dark Knight Rises? That ♥♥♥♥ looks epic!”

“Dude, you’re such a nerd!” Farrow threw his hands up in the air, chuckling.

“Okay, you can’t argue about it, that ♥♥♥♥ looks cool. I can’t believe they got Meta to play-“

BANG!

“What the ♥♥♥♥?” Farrow got his gun out. “Rob, we’ve got company. Let’s get that son of a… oh… oh ♥♥♥♥. Oh ♥♥♥♥.”

There was no ceremony. No rain. No tremendous last words. No telling his mother he loved him. No rosebud. No montage of his final moments. No life flashing before his eyes. No scream of pain. On the whole, it was quite average. He simply fell to the ground, his sentence interrupted, a hole in his chest and another in his back.

Farrow jumped down to his fallen partner. “Dude!” he pleaded, putting a hand on his wrist to check for a pulse that was as present as the rain that night. “No, man. You’re not gonna do this. Wake the ♥♥♥♥ up, man! Come on!”

BANG!

If Farrow hadn’t jumped away from Rob at that moment, he would have fallen right beside him. “You son of a ♥♥♥♥♥!” he shouted at the assailant, who was nowhere nearby. “I’m going to ♥♥♥♥ kill you with my bare talons! Do you hear me, you mother ♥♥♥♥?” Whatever menace he hoped to have in his voice faded into a jaded, broken gasp. He got out his radio and pushed a button, and static filled the tense air.

“Yo,” a male voice rang through the fuzz, unaware but prepared.

“Popo!” Farrow barked into the radio. “We have a man down! Repeat, man down!”

“Mother… alright, Farrow. Where are you?" Dan Portman, also known as Popo, could be heard cracking his knuckles as he talked.

“We’re at the Riverside Trail off of Fourth and Emery! It’s Rob, he doesn’t have a pulse! I can’t see the assailant!” Farrow yelled faster than one could normally comprehend.

“Farrow!” Popo yelled back, his small voice portraying large authority. “You’ve gotta get it together. He has no pulse?”

“No!”

Popo sighed, and Farrow growled, knowing what he was going to say. “I’m not leaving without him!”

“You have to,” Popo’s tone was level. “We can’t afford to lose two of you.”

“Look here, ♥♥♥♥, he’s my ♥♥♥♥ partner! I’m not going to abandon him!”

“Farrow-“

“If you had spent a minute as an actual cop, you’d understand!”

“Farrow!” Popo stopped the officer’s rushed insults. “You can shout at me all you want later but you can’t do that if you’re going to be shot!”

BANG!

This shot was a good distance away from Farrow, and he heard it skip in the water.

Popo had enough by now. “Get the ♥♥♥♥ in the car, goddamnit!”

Farrow snapped out of it by then; if Popo was telling him get the ♥♥♥♥ anything it usually meant that he had better. He gave Rob one last, desperate look, hoping that he’d get up or something; even to squirm. He didn’t, and Farrow ran to the cruiser, getting in the passenger’s side.

It took a few painful seconds for him to realize that he was going to be driving himself back. He slammed his fist on the dashboard. A jagged, shaken “♥♥♥♥!” forced its way out of his throat as he crawled over to the steering wheel and drove off, trying to keep himself together.