runouw.com

TheZunar123 wrote:

nin10mode wrote:Unfortunately, its a very unprofessional way of writing. It might take up more space, but it is the correct way. Plus, it's easier on the eyes.

Either I'm misunderstanding this statement or you are contradicting yourself. If it is a very unprofessional way of writing, then why is it the correct way and easier on the eyes?

You're misunderstanding. I'm saying that using a different line for every new character's dialogue is the correct way. It's easier on the eyes since I don't like seeing a big wall of text. Having space in between is very friendly looking and makes me think "Oh, this won't take long," Unlike a bunch of asdrt435fawer that says "God, tl;dr."
What you're doing seems to be the latter if I'm reading these reviews correctly.

Ok, I made some minor edits to Chapter 26. Is that better?

Jeez, guys, stop arguing.

Also, I love how there's a six-page gap between Chapter 25 and 26.

There's a difference between arguing and criticizing.


MK, there's a link that says Part 2 on the first post and a link that says Part 1 on the continued post.

Anyway.
It looks okay, but I think there should be more description of the surrounding. Dialogue still needs to be written correctly.

"That's a relief," Kit replied.

"How did he-" Adril began.

"He used his powers to break off a piece of the Wave Road and block the missile."

"How do you know that!?"

Kit pointed behind them, where it looked like a piece of the Wave Road had been broken off.

"Wow," Adril replied. He looked at MK. "We need to get him to the hospital. If something were to hit him..."

If you write like this, you don't have to write about who's talk after every quotation mark, since it's obvious that only two people are talking.

One issue.

nin10mode wrote:"That's a relief," Kit replied.

I was told that you should have a period there instead of a comma because the person is finished talking. If the "said (insert person's name here)" was in the middle of what they say, there should be a comma. Example: "Hey," the guy said, "let's go jogging." "OK." his friend replied.

I don't remember who told me that (I think it was Ridder, actually), but I specifically remember being told that.

Also:

nin10mode wrote:

MKSTAR26 wrote:Also, I love how there's a six-page gap between Chapter 25 and 26.

MK, there's a link that says Part 2 on the first post and a link that says Part 1 on the continued post.

He means that six pages of posts where made between the writing of Chapter 25 and 26, not that 25 and 26 are six pages apart.

I apologize for the double post, but I have an important announcement.

CHAPTER 27 IS COMPLETE!

I wrote Chapter 27 a little differently than the rest of the chapters. Hopefully it looks a lot better. Plus, it's longer than some of the previous chapters.

(expletive deleted) YEAH! AWEEEEEEEEEESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!

How's that for a better-looking chapter?

EDIT: Apparently I've been in a writing mood lately! Chapter 28 is complete!

Nah Zunar. After every quotation it's always a comma, UNLESS what the character is saying ends in a question mark or comma. There will NEVER be a period at the end of quotations.

Also, I'm slightly worried your pulling chapters out fairly quickly. It makes me think you haven't spent much time on them... I have yet to read them.

Now I want a long chapter. A long long LONG, novel-style chapter.

That would be wonderful, I've been feeling there's not much literature meat to pick off the satiation bone lately. (Terrible metaphor, I apologize.)