runouw.com

I guess I'm getting revenged on by being made the villain? o.o Heh, anyway, huge step up. I like the concept of limbo (Inception FTW) and MoHawk (xD) seems pretty cool and shapes up to be an anti hero. Writing has somewhat improved, but still can be. 8/10

Villain...? Heh, heh...No! Heh...*is shot*

Also, quick reply. O.O

I'm seeing the NightHawks to be something of a generically evil group of people like Team Rocket who all they do is steal candy from babies for no apparent reason. XD It's interesting, but still not enough detail for me to really say anything big. :O

This was definitely a step up. The grammar was definitely improved, and the writing style itself was more agreeable. The chapter flowed much better than the previous ones, and the story itself interesting enough. 9/10. Keep it up!

Chapter 3 - Limbo

It's so dark in here, I thought. It's so mysterious, I can't tell if I'm hot or cold. Apparently my name is Joe and I have been banned. I have my thoughts and this guy named ''R'' to keep me company. I don't even know if he is short, tall or even human! It's too dark to tell. His voice doesn't really intimidate me, though. I don't know if there are any other people in here.

''Worried?'' R said in a confident tone.

'' 'Bout what?'' I replied.

''You don't even know what I look like, you don't know who you are and you don't know if there are any other people here.''

''Wha, what? Are you a mind reader?''

''Well, not exactly...it's so quiet in here, it's possible to tell what people are saying if you listen closely.''

I was silent for a couple seconds, feeling kind of violated.

''I...I...''

''Hey, don't worry!'' He said. ''I'll try my best not to use it...that much!''

R started to laugh, maniacally. It got me worried. I might be rooming with a psychotic man. I tried plugging my ears but that didn't do any good. This place is like a dream, you can close your eyes but they're still open, you can plug your ears but you can still hear. It was creepy.

''Do you keep time?'' I ask.

''What do you mean?''

''Well, y'know. To figure out how long you were in here.''

R paused and didn't make a noise, was he thinking about it? Was he giving me a dirty look thinking I'm insane?

''...I've been in here for 2 years.''

2 years? I thought. This is probably my second day in here and I already feel like going insane...

''Dude...are you serious?'' I asked.

''More serious than Nicholas Cage.''

We both started to laugh a bit. Which turned into a loud laugh. We kept laughing until we heard a click. The next sound we heard was a big thump.

''What the hell was that?'' R shouted.

''...Heh, heh...did I scare you guys?''

The next thing we hear is some boy talking. He sounded like he was 12 or 13. It looks like he got banned as well.

''Who, who are you?'' I asked.

''Me? Well, I don't like giving out names so I'll just give out half my name. Call me Delta.''

R, and Delta? The longer I stay here, the more weird it gets. I feel like I'm not even in Limbo. Maybe I drank too much and I'm having a strange dream.

''It's not a dream my friend.'' R said.

''Can you stop doing that?'' I exclaimed.

''Sorry, sorry!''

''Stop doing what?'' Delta asked.

''Oh, man, we have a lot of explaining to do.'' R said.

''Yeah, get a load of this.'' I said. ''You're in a place called Limbo...''

-----

''You banned Avo?'' I said.

After hearing yelling and screaming outside of Runouw's office, I finally knock on his door and walk in. Only to find out that, Avo was banned.

''You have to understand, Blablob.'' Runouw said. ''Someone, who's identity must be kept secret, handed me a secret file that tackles the chance of Avo becoming GMod.''

''Lemme see that!''

I grab the list of warnings that were directed to Avo. As I read 'em, I started to get a bit shocked.

''Posting porn? Flaming? Levels in chat? REREGISTERING?''

''I have no choice but to believe it.'' Runouw said. ''The person who gave it to me told me that they're 100% true.''

''This is 100% percent false! If you knew Avo, you would know he wouldn't do any of this!''

I threw the file on the table and started to give Runouw a dirty look. I couldn't believe any of this.

''I'm sorry, Blablob, but what's done is done.'' Runouw stated.

''Well....how long is he banned?'' I asked.

''One week.''

''Wow.''

''In the meantime, I will be giving GMod status to you and put the other position on hold.''

''Tell me, who gave you the file?''

''I will not give out that information.''

''COME ON! I am gonna be made a Global Moderator, I should deserve to know!''

Runouw let out a big sigh, and then took a deep breath.

''Fine.'' He said. ''You deserve to know.''

''Thank you, now who is it?''

''The person who gave me the file is...''

-----

''Limbo? Dark place? Very quiet? Times goes by slowly? This must be quite the place!'' Delta was pretty excited when he found out about this place. By the sound of his tone, he might enjoy this place.

''You...like this place?'' I asked.

''Hell yeah! This is like a dream come true! Dark places galore!'' Delta replied.

''You remind me of that guy from Paper Mario TTYD who likes dark places. (If anyone can figure out his name, I'll give you cookies)'' R stated.

''Um...OK. Well, I guess you should grab a seat and get comfortable.'' I said.

''You know, I never asked for your name?''

''Oh, my name is Joe and this is R.''

''Joe and R, eh? Those names are pretty congruent!'' Delta said.

R and Delta started to laugh while I kept silent, even I started to snicker a bit, I guess.

The 3 of us only became better friends after that day, who knows how long I will be in here but at least I got these guys to keep me company for the time being.

..But then R started to plot. Oh, dear lord.

''So, what's our plan going to be?'' He said.

''Plan? What plan?'' I reply.

''C'mon! You and I know that you're gonna be released soon, and Delta and I are coming with you!''

''I am...? I mean, I'm only banned for probably a month I think I can handle it, I'll just hibernate!'' Delta said.

Sneak out? R has been in here for 2 years, I don't think he's going to be let out any time soon. And now he wants to sneak when I'm released? That ain't gonna happen!

''Um, no.'' I said. ''I don't know how long you're gonna be in here but I'm not gonna sneak you out of here like sneaking out weed!''

''Joe, I thought we were pals! We'd do anything to help each other out! Just be open about it.''

''Why do you wanna sneak out?'' Delta asked.

''2 years ago my friend.'' R said. ''2 years ago I was banned, banned for too long. I tried to get back in but I was banned for even longer! I kept trying and eventually that ban turned into a perma! I did pretty well keeping my sanity for this long but now it's time to get my revenge on Runouw.com!''

That's when he pulled it out, the lighter, and turned it on, revealing his face.

''What the...? A lighter? When did you get that?'' I asked.

''Been saving it in my pocket for a time like this. A time to see my 2 new brothers before we go into war!'' R said.

''You, you're insane!'' I started to get extremely uncomfortable, I feel like he's gonna burn down this place, if that's even possible. Get revenge? War? I didn't know what he was talking about but I don't agree to help him, who knows what he'll do...

''Insane? You say? OF COURSE I'M F*CKING INSANE! I'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR 2 LONG GODDAMN YEARS!''

Looking into his maniacal eyes ensured that he was serious. Before I knew it, Delta started to look a bit uneasy as well.

''Delta!'' R shouted. ''What do you think about this plan?''

''Um, I don't really know.'' He replied.

''Come on, it'll be exciting! Like an adventure!'' R said.

Delta started to think about it, I thought he was crazy for possibly considering it.

''Well, if we're going to war...wouldn't we need weapons?'' Delta said.

''Good point buddy! We could steal some from the city!''

''How do you know that there are weapons in the city?'' I asked.

''Well, they would have to be pretty dumb to not have weapons.'' He replied.

''Well, how can we get weapons when you have to stay hidden?''

''Well, You have a house in the city right, Joe?''

''Yeah.''

''Well, Delta and I will camp at your house while you find weapons.''

That's when I noticed the scariest part about him, he looks like an every day kid you see in a park. You wouldn't expect anything wrong with him. But knowing he's mentally insane makes it scary as hell. I started to sweat under the pressure.

''So, are you in or not? Getting revenge on the site that banned you and made you stay in this depressing place.'' R said.

''I'm in.'' Delta said as he stood up.

''Are you serious?'' I shouted.

''Come on, Joe. All three of us will do this together, and it will be fun! Better than staying in this place!'' R said.

I had to make a decision, should I agree and get revenge on the site for banning or wimp out?

''What's your choice, Joe?'' Delta asked.

''....I'm in, too.'' I said.

-----

''What? How is that even possible?'' I asked.

''It's true, Blablob. It was him.'' Runouw said.

''But, I don't understand, I thought he...''

''It's complicated. But yes.''

Runouw finally agreed to tell me who gave him the file, and what followed was shocking...

''I can't believe this....Superyoshi?''

----------

"PREVIEW OVER" was the guy who gave him the file?

I never would have guessed.

---

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Keep up the good work! 9.99/10

That was some cliffhanger. Anyway, this getting better and better. Not gonna give a grade for this chapter yet until you release it in full, but yeah, keep it up!

Oh snap, cliffhanger!

Good job, even though it's not complete!

The last part of Chapter 3 is out! Check it out!

SUPERYOSHI?!!? ... whoa. You got me there. Damn, I was literally expecting... anybody ♥♥♥♥ else before him. Doram, even. There's gotta be a good damn reason that the freaking ARCHITECHT of the site as we know it today to have done that to you and that's why I wanna keep reading. I also like the twist you put on Raymond's character- especially the part about him looking like a kid. As most of our mortal enemies do. Keep it up! 8.5/10