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Metropolis

PostPosted: April 12th, 2011, 5:19 pm
by Avo
A/N After looking over this and Daggertale, I decided I might try to work on this again. I edited the first seven chapters and touched them up a bit, fixing grammar mistakes and changing lines to make it better.

This is technically The Legend of Avo 2, it just has a different name.

Happy reading.


Index

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prologue

The following events take place several years after The Legend of Avo...

Let me start off with my name, Avo. It used to be Avolerators but I decided to shorten it to simply Avo to make it easier, although some people still call me by my full name.

I live a normal teenage life, I go to school, study, sleep, hang out with friends, anything that a normal teenager would do. But there is one thing that separates me from any other kid. I also live in a very secret city. It's kinda hard to explain, but there is this website called Runouw.com. It's just a simple message board with no real point or theme. People just register and make a topic about gaming, politics, level designing in Super Mario 63 or anything wacky and off-topic.

The site was made in 2009, it is now 2014, and I am 17 years old.

A breakthrough in the name of science was made just last year, a team of dozens of scientists made a "teleporter" and I kid you not. But this isn't the kind of teleporter you see in a sci-fi movie. This kind of teleporter can take you into a website! Ever since they were made, there has been one for every major website, like YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and even Google, and a few minor ones. Luckily for our site, we managed to get one!

Just log on, and simply click the button on the header that says "Teleporter" and before you know it, you will be in a city-like version of Runouw.com.

The site is basically divided into two areas, the urban and suburban areas. The forums and topics are in the urban area. Forums like Off-topic and Gaming are giant buildings. The topics are rooms in those buildings and posts are tiny books put in order of when they were made. It's a great way to keep things organized.

The suburban area is just west of the city. Users have a choice of buying their own home away from home. It does cost, though, usually around 150,000 internet dollars (which roughly translates into 100 US dollars, it's kinda messed up if you ask me). Almost every user that has been around for at least a few months has a house in the suburban area.

The head honcho, Runouw, has a building all to himself. There's a lobby, or "waiting room" if you want to see him, and his office at the very top floor. But I still wonder to this day what's in the "inbetween". I don't think anyone but Runouw knows...

There is a gate at the south end of the city. It's big, and golden, and impenetrable. What's at the other end of it? Forests. It's actually possible to travel between websites inside the computer world. But the only things between each site are forests, occasionally there might be a desert or lake, but mostly trees all around. Personally, I find it creepy, so I never venture out of the site. I just "log out".

And that's the whole city, for the most part. That's the important stuff.

Now, it's time for a history lesson. Back in 2010, four years ago, something bad happened. And I mean very, veeeeeery bad.

You can wake up on that day four years ago and not expect a thing. Like Superyoshi, a very well-known global moderator, suddenly quitting his job. I found that very strange. But what was more strange and really shocking was when my friend Buffooner and I found Suyo dead in his closet! I've seen weird things in my life, but seeing a dead body in front of me takes the cake.

But that's not the end of it. There was also an evil "overlord of viruses" named Kingrus who planned on using the viruses to completely destroy the internet. Thankfully, me and a couple other guys decided to step up and kill the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Little did we know, Kingrus was actually a beloved member of our site all along! MICrophone, or MIC for short, was actually the mastermind behind the whole plan. When we finally found him in his secret base, it was a fight to the death, a fight to keep the internet alive. We ended up victorious, but at a terrible price. The life of one of my best friends, Azn. It was him who took down Kingrus, but ended up dying as a result.

One of the other global moderators, Demonik, also died in that fight. It was horrible. I don't know how I survived, but I have those heroes to thank.

It's been several years since that has happened. I'm still living my normal life, the site is still thriving and life couldn't get any better.

"You will see some rain and possibly some thunderstorms in the next 3 days. But hopefully we'll get some sunshine by the end of the week."

Right now I'm watching the news, just sitting down, thinking about things...I heard my stomach growl at me like it was a lion ready to eat me. As a got up to get some food, the doorbell rang. I turned around and walked over to see who it was, who would knock on anybody's door when it's raining this hard?

"Avo?"

"...Runouw?"

Standing before me was the one of the people who helped me defeat Kingrus, Runouw. He was wearing a trench coat and a fedora for some reason. He was also holding a piece of paper in his left hand and a briefcase in the other.

"Or I guess in this case it should be Avolerators." He said.

"This case?" I replied.

"Yes, this case. May I come in?"

Runouw stepped inside, took off his hat and coat and laid them on my table. He grabbed a chair, sat down and opened up the briefcase on his lap.

"I should explain. You obviously remember the horrible tragedy that happened years ago, right?"

"How could I forget? It's not everyday you have to save the internet from being destroyed from viruses." I replied.

"Yes, that is true. And MIC, what did you think about him?"

"I still can't believe he was behind the whole thing. I know it's been four years but...it's hard to take in, y'know?'' I sat down, turned on the lamp beside me and turned off the TV, giving my full, undivided attention to Runouw.

"Well, Buffooner has been doing a great job as global moderator, but seeing as how the population of this city keeps growing, I think it's time to grant two more people the job of global moderator." Runouw said.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Runouw pulled out two giant banhammers from his briefcase, the green one being Suyo's and the yellow one being Demonik's. A banhammer is a Moderator's main weapon that they keep with them at all times, think of it as a police badge or gun. A Mod can swing the banhammer at the user they have to ban in order for it work. I've never seen one this close before.

''With both Global moderators being dead.'' Runouw continued. ''That leaves two open spots for the Global Moderators, seeing as having just one will not be enough. I've already picked them."

"Well, who are they?" I interrupted.

"Well, let me finish. I already talked to Blablob about the same thing I'm talking to you about. And well, I'm thinking of giving the two Global Moderator jobs to you two!"

With that said, my heart skipped a beat. Hell, it might have been 10 or 20 beats! I never thought that I would ever be chosen to be a global moderator! I immediately jumped out of my seat in excitement and threw my arms up in the air. I looked down and saw Runouw laughing.

"Now, Avo, you haven't got it yet! I have talk to both you and Blablob at my office tomorrow in order to make it official. " He said.

"Oh, ha, I knew that!" I sat back down feeling a little embarrassed. I gotta keep my cool, I don't wanna ruin this once in a lifetime opportunity. "Hey, you think you can show me those green jackets?" I asked.

Let me explain, there are different types of Mods in this city, global mods, regular mods, level mods, wiki mods, and also user representatives. Each group wears a different coloured jacket to show who they are. Global moderators wear a very cool green jacket. It looks awesome.

"No problem."

Runouw grabbed a green jacket from his briefcase and handed it to me. I tried it on and looked in the mirror. And hot damn, I looked amazing.

"Well, I gotta say, I sure do look sexy in green don't I?" I said.

"Well, that's completely...disturbing but... I'll see you in my office tomorrow at 10 AM SHARP!" He said.

He packed up his things, the jackets, the banhammers. Took his hat and his coat and left. I'll have to get up bright and early, I can't be late for this!

As I walked upstairs to my room, I couldn't get how cool I looked in green out of my head. I would be walking down the streets of Runouw City, everyone will notice me and say "Hi!" The spammers will tremble in fear and I will be happy. I'll keep this site safe from anything that may attack it. I laid down in my bed, closed my eyes, and drifted to sleep.

-----
"Hey boss! Sorry I'm late."

"What's your excuse this time? Your seventh uncle died from a heart attack like the rest?"

"No no, my uncle is fine. Er, uncles...but what's up?"

"I believe I have finally found a new place that we can call our home. It's been too long that we've been stuck in this god forsaken forest. But I discovered the perfect place for all of us."

"Where is it?"

"Take a look at this map, if you look east, you'll see a thriving city, that is our target."

"Sounds good, boss! What's that place called?"

"That city goes by the name of...Runouw.com."


Metropolis

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Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 12th, 2011, 5:51 pm
by Chaukai
Hmm... Interesting. Although I have a problem. :O I think the whole 1 year premises might be a bit off. I mean, to have a Gmod dead for a year and not do anything about it? I dunno, it just sorta seems like how they would act if these events were right after. I'm excited to read this though, I was surprised when I saw it. :O I love Scrubs too...

Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 12th, 2011, 8:55 pm
by MessengerOfDreams
This has some pretty good potential and you've improved quite a bit. I want to advise you not to fall into cliche'd offbeat humor and dialogue that tries to be too quirky, which is something that is somewhat evident throughout your writing. Try to be a bit more realistic in your writing, but don't lose yourself. Just... try not to get too silly.

Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 13th, 2011, 3:11 pm
by Avo
Chapter 1 - Warning

''Sit right there, Blablob.'' Runouw said. ''And Avolerators, you can sit there.''

The time is 10:12 AM and Blablob and I are in Runouw's office. The both of us were chosen for the new Global Moderator positions.

''So, obviously, I'm guessing you both are excited for these jobs?'' Runouw asked.

''Well Runouw, The GMod position is quite a big jo--''

''HELL YEAH I'M EXCITED!!'' I interrupted.

It sure was a crazy morning before we both got into the office, let me enlighten you:

One hour earlier...

After a long walk up to Runouw's Building, I see Blab waiting patiently at the top of the hill. I yell to get his attention.

''HEY BLAB!'' He turned around in surprise.

''Whoa.'' He said. ''You scared me!''

''You know, I haven't seen you in a while.'' I stated.

''Well I've been hanging around th' tavern mostly. Nothing else to do with my time y'know?''

''I've just been sitting down at my house watching TV, I guess there is the occasional walk but that's it.''

While we exchanged conversations, we saw someone walk out of the building doors. He was wearing sunglasses and a goofy top hat to try to hide his identity. He took a quick look at us and tried to run past us, but Blab immediately stopped him in his tracks.

''Um, excuse me sir, what are running from?'' He asked.

He stopped in his tracks and tried to think of words to say:

''Um...I-I have to go, sorry.''

He quickly ran off, I couldn't try to recognize his voice because he disguised it as if he had phlegm in his throat. We were both silent for a few moments until Blab said:

''What was that about?''

''I don't know, he seemed sort of familiar...I just can't put my finger on it...'' I said.

''He was tall, and I just so happened to notice his shoes. I think I know who it is.'' Blab said.

''Really? Who?''

Blab whispered his name into my ear, my eyes widened when I heard it.

''Damn.''

''Yeah, I can't be sure if I am right, though.''

''What do you think he was doing here?''

''I don't know, Avo, if I see him later I'll talk to him.''

We both stood there in silence, unable to find words to say about the situation. I asked Blab what time it was and he said:

''9:49''

Wow, time sure flies by when weird crap happens. We both walked in to the building and talked to the secretary. ''Take a number'' She said. ''There will be about a 15 minute wait.''

END OF FLASHBACK

''So, I've been looking over some paperwork about your time here. The warnings, which equaled to none. No bans. And the amount of help you give to other users is remarkable.''

''Aw, I'm flattered Runouw!'' I said.

''Oh, Avo, sorry, I was talking to Blablob.'' Runouw said.

''Oh, I'm sorry.''

Blab snickered a bit but tried to hide it. I think he really wanted this job. He never acts this polite in front of...well, anyone else.

''Actually Blablob. May I speak to Avolerators. Privately?'' Runouw asked.

''Oh, yes sir.'' He replied.

This got me a bit suspicious, after Blab got out of his seat and left the room, Runouw opened up a separate folder containing my files. He started to frown faintly and he looked really disappointed. I quickly asked:

''Sir, what's happening?''

''Well, Avolerators...I recently had someone enter my office. They wanted to keep their identity secret. That person handed me a secret file that contained, well...''

''Um, what's this about?''

''You see, I'm giving the Global Mod position to Blablob.''

''Well, that's great!'' I said with a small grin. ''I think he really deserves it from all he's done on the for--''

''But I'm not giving the other position to you.''

''Um, what?''

My small grin immediately turned into a big frown. My eyes opened up wide and I felt my heart stop for a second or two. Both of us were silent for a couple seconds.

''The secret file that was given to me contained warnings that were given to you, and well, there is a lot of them.'' He said.

''Warnings? That's ♥♥♥♥! I've never got a warning in my life! What are they?'' I exclaimed.

''In chronological order:

July 24th, 2010: Warned for flaming the user: RedLink intensively.

August 2nd: Warned for posting 3 level codes in the chat.

August 15th: Warned for advertising your YouTube account multiple times.

August 20th: Warned for posting pornographic material in the chat.

August 29th: Warned for threatening to kill a Moderator.

September 6th: Banned for reregistering as Avilerators.


...and the list goes on...''

I was in complete shock, that list of warnings isn't close to anything I would even think about doing! I've only posted one level in the chat by accident and slightly flamed once! Reregister? I would never do anything like that!

''Runouw, that's blasphemous! No way in hell would I do any of those things! Someone must of set me up!'' I said.

''I'm sorry, but warnings don't lie, and telling from the person who gave me this list, I have no choice but to believe it.''

''That's impossible! I mean, would you believe someone like me would reregister? And even if I did, I certainly wouldn't make it obvious by calling myself Avilerators!''

I got up out of my seat in rage, I wanted to punch something for what was happening.

''Avolerators, please calm down...''

''CALM DOWN? CLAM DOWN?'' I yelled. ''Someone must have set me up! This is complete utter bullcrap! I would never flame anyone, or post porn in chat! Never!''

I started to get out of hand, I felt like everyone in the building could hear me, I was yelling so loud my throat started to hurt.

''Avolerators! If you don't sit down and be quiet, I would have to warn you again and have security escort you out of this building!'' Runouw strictly said in a mean tone.

I sat down and tried to calm down. My head started to hurt after what I did.

''Runouw, who the hell...sorry, who gave you that file?'' I asked.

''I'm sorry, Avolerators, I'm afraid the person who gave it to me wanted to keep their identity secret..''

That's when it hit me, I remember that guy walking out of Runouw's Building a while ago. He saw me and Blab outside and tried to avoid us. He tried avoiding conversation with Blab. And then Blab said who he thought that guy and now....dear god...

''Runouw! That guy who walked out of the building a while ago, he was wearing a hat and sunglasses to try to hide his identity, was that the guy who gave you the file?'' I asked.

Runouw was silent, as if he was in shock. He then said:

''...Uh...I-I told you, I'm not revealing the identity of him!''

''...Dammit!''

''Now, I'm sorry for what I must do, but these warnings sure pile up. I have no choice but to...''

I then saw Runouw pull out a red hammer, a red Banhammer to be exact. That immediately grabbed my attention.

''No...don't tell me...''

''I'm sorry, Avolerators. But this is my only choice.''

He lifted the banhammer up, took a deep breath, and swung it down at me. Banning me. I disappeared into thin air, no where to be seen. Blab knocked on the door and said:

''Runouw? Avo? Is everything OK?''

''Um, Blablob, please come in.'' Runouw said.

''Is everything OK? I heard screaming from outside.'' Blab said as he opened the door. ''Wait, where's Avo?''

Runouw let out a sigh and explained everything to Blab.

As for me, well, who knows what will happen to me...

-----

''I am going to send one of you guys out to Runouw.com to see if it actually is perfect.''

''OOH OOH! Can I go boss? Can I?''

''Um, I don't think so Jappa, you should probably stay here.''

''Oh come on! I'll be perfect for this job! Besides, if I'm clumsy or goofy, then they won't suspect a thing''

''You know sir, he's kind of right, sending Jappa there might be a good idea.''

''*sigh* Alright, fine! After a couple hours there, contact me and tell me how it is going.''

''I won't disappoint, Boss!''

''And Jappa, for god's sake, don't brag how loyal you are to me while you are there!''

''Don't worry! I won't! You won't regret sending me!''


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Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 13th, 2011, 3:17 pm
by MICrophone
Hmm. The grammar and the writing style could use some work, but I am intrigued by the premise so far. With a little refinement this could be very good. 8/10.

Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 13th, 2011, 3:30 pm
by MessengerOfDreams
Okay, if you were intensively flaming, posting porn and threatening to kill us you'd have been banned loooooooooong before you rereg'd. o.o Anyway, this is going down a one way street to Clicheville. The main character being you? (okay that's forgivable due to it being the legend of Avo) You getting to be a Mod? You getting falsely banhammered? Where've I see that before? How about everywhere? In fact this is sounding a lot like Zunar's the Runouwlutionary war or whatever story. So yeah, this needs some work. On the up and up, your writing has improved. 5/10 (also, don't get mad and quit or I'll kick your ♥♥♥)

Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 13th, 2011, 3:39 pm
by Avo
MessengerOfDreams wrote:Okay, if you were intensively flaming, posting porn and threatening to kill us you'd have been banned loooooooooong before you rereg'd.


That did cross my mind but I guess I didn't listen to it.
o.o Anyway, this is going down a one way street to Clicheville. The main character being you? (okay that's forgivable due to it being the legend of Avo) You getting to be a Mod? You getting falsely banhammered? Where've I see that before? How about everywhere? In fact this is sounding a lot like Zunar's the Runouwlutionary war or whatever story.


Aside from the main character being me statement, remember that this is the first chapter and in future chapters, I'll try my best to make this unique.

So yeah, this needs some work. On the up and up, your writing has improved. 5/10 (also, don't get mad and quit or I'll kick your ♥♥♥)


C'mon, you know me better than that! : D

Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 13th, 2011, 3:49 pm
by Chaukai
Although I can disagree with MoY to an extent, I do believe you have a fair amount of cliches in the writing. Me personally, I prefer third person over first person writings, (although I don't limit myself, there have been plenty of first person stories I love,) The story just seems a bit awkwardly written. More back and forth and quick transitions.

But, it's an interesting start, but I'll have to give it some more chapters before I say anything more.

Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 13th, 2011, 3:56 pm
by Master1.0
Me liek!

9/10

Keep up the good work Avo!

Re: The Legend of Avo 2

PostPosted: April 14th, 2011, 6:52 pm
by Avo
Chapter 2 - Mission

Where do you go when you get banned?
What do you find there?
Why is it so dark?


-----

My name is Jappa, I pledge allegiance to my boss, who for now shall remain nameless...

It has been a day or two since our lovely city was destroyed by those....those...things!

My boss has decided to take matters into his own hands and take over this site called Runouw.com

And he has sent me to make sure if it really is perfect!

Anyway, here is how it went...


Standing before me is the gate to this place, it's gigantic. In order to get in, I either need to log on or register. I guess I have to register.

I've got my password and e-mail address, now I just need a username...

Let's see, I'm gonna contact my boss to see if he can help!

I punch in my boss's number into the phone and wait patiently:

''Jappa! How is it? Have you met anybody?'' My boss said.

''Well, actually boss, I need to think of a username...'' I replied.

''NEED TO THINK OF A USERNAME? JUST THINK OF SOMETHING RANDOM LIKE ILLPATSDAPPY OR SOMETHING!''

''Well, I can't go with that! People will think I'm a spammer!''

My boss let out a sigh of disappoint and tried to help think of one.

''Well, you're a member of the Nighthawks, right?'' He said.

Let me explain, I've been a part of this gang called the ''Nighthawks'' for quite a while. Think of it as an after school activity or something. But way more serious. Our goal is one thing and one thing only, if we want something...we take it by force! That's our motto.

''Um, yeah.'' I reply.

''And...you're basically a Messenger, right?''

''Sure...''

''Well, just call yourself MessengerOfHawks or something.''

''MessengerOfHawks?'' I thought. I paused for a couple moments, I took a deep breath and entered that name into the gate.

''WAIT!'' My boss yelled through the walkie talkie to stop me in my tracks, I ask him what it was and he told me:

''Find the Moderators, any moderator would do, and ask them if they are thinking of recruiting new mods, because if they are, try to get that job.''

''Well, why?'' I asked.

''I'll explain later, now go!''

He hung up and left by myself to handle the job. Before my eyes, the gates opened up. It was like the gates of heaven opening to let someone new inside. Seemingly endless amounts of light shone through the bars of the gate. When the light finally subsided, standing before me were the tall buildings of the city. My first step in the city was like a rush of adrenaline.

The first person to meet me at the front gate was an eccentric man. I asked for his name:

''Hi! Who are you?''

''Well welcome to Runouw.com!'' He said. '' If you want to get people to know you, then make a topic in the Welcome section!''

He seemed a bit too happy, I tried asking him again:

''Um, excuse me, who are you...?''

''Be sure to make a topic so people get to know you!'' He replied.

He kept saying the exact same thing, I started to get pissed off. I had the need to punch him.

''Listen pal! If you don't tell me your name, I'll have to get violent!'' I said, waving my fist near his face.

''Hey, buddy, might wanna calm down there?''

Before I could whup this guys ♥♥♥, I was stopped by a guy in a weird blue shirt.

''That there is a RunouwBot, it repeats the same phrase over and over to new users so they know what to do.'' He explained.

''Oh, well I feel like an idiot.'' I replied.

''Naw, don't worry about it!''

''What's your name?'' I kindly asked.

''I'm Yoshi Boo 118.''

''What an interesting name!''

''Thanks! Your's?''

''Japp-uh...MessengerOfHawks''

''OK, Japp-uh...MessengerOfHawks!''

We both started laughing, although my laugh was a little awkward. Trying to keep my identity secret is going to be pretty tough.

''I would listen to that bot if I were you. It's a good start.'' He stated.

Before I knew, YB and I were walking over to the Welcome forum to make my very first topic. After that, I'll report back to Boss.

-----

''.....p.....''

''...ak...up...''

''....wak.....up''

''....Wake up!''

''Huh what?''

''Whew! Finally you woke up, I thought you were a goner!''

''Who...who are you?''

''When you're in Limbo, you have no name.''

''Limbo? What's that?''

''Wow, that banhammer must have hit you hard! How long? 1 week? A month? Perma?!''

''Banhammer...? I don't...I can't...remember anything!''

''I guess this must've been your first time in Limbo.''

''Well, what can I call you?''

''For now, I guess you can call me...R.''

''Well, alright then....what about me? I don't remember my name! It's so dark in here!''

''Eh, you'll get used to it. I guess for now, I can call you...Joe! 'Cause you seem like an Average Joe to me.''

''Well, alright.''

''You might as well get comfortable, Joe. A one day ban can feel like a year here. It's so boring it's like time slowed down or something!''

''Um, what are you in here for?''

''Well, I don't really like talking about it, let's just say what I did was extremely bad and you don't want to know.''

''I...I don't feel comfortable...around you...''

''Hey hey! It's not like I killed a guy! It was just something that got me banned, that's all...''

This guy was different, I thought. I've never seen someone come in here with complete amnesia. I'll give him a couple days before he goes completely insane and end himself...

''Huh? What was that? What are talking about?''

''Oh nothing...''

Damn, I should stop thinking aloud...

It sucks, I'm getting a good vibe off of this guy, and he's going to kill himself in just a matter of days. Well, I guess I can't be sure.


''Hey, Joe, whatever happens, try to toughen out through it. Once you're back to regular forum life, it'll be worth it.''

''Um, OK...I'll try.''

That's good, if I can keep this guy alive, he can possibly get me out of here. That's when I strike...

-----

''...And you just press this button, write the message and BOOM! You've made a topic!'' YB said.

''Thanks, dude!'' I said.

''Well, I guess I'll leave you here, looks like you've got everything down pat!''

''Alright, thanks! Good bye!''

As I watch him leave the room, I grab my walkie-talkie and start dialing my boss's number...

''Boss! I'm currently making a welcome topic. Once they start trusting me, I'll move in to the mod position!''

Topic: Hi guys!

Message: Hi everyone! I'm new here and I hope to get to know you guys better! Once you get to know me, that's when the real fun will begin!

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