Mr_SaxMan's Super Sexy Tales of Stuff

[RedLink]

lmfao Sax you has true talent for this random stuff.
I feel proud to read this.
9.9/10
-.1 because You are getting as good as me

[Mr_SaxMan]

Damn you Red! DAMN YOU! I WILL NEVER LIVE WITH THIS LINGERING 99 IN MY HEAD!

[Mr_SaxMan]

Ok, overdue, but here is another story that's not nearly done, but I wrote it all in an hour. It's a little different than my other ones.

Spoiler: show

There was once a king. He was quite a sh*tty king, but nobody really gave a f*ck anyways so he was king. Anyways, beginning with the story.

Red was lying in his cell in the dank and dark jail of Azkaban. He had been sitting on the ground for months. His hair now stringy and wet from not washing it since he last ate a good jelly donut. Come on Red, why are you such a f*cking slob? TAKE A SHOWER! Anyways, it had been like any other day, cold, dark, dementors stalking his every move… He had heard a rumor that the people screaming at night were victims. When the dementors get bored, they apparently give AIDS to the prisoners at night… Their shrieks were terrible.

Back to the story, Red, thinking about his future, dosed off, dreaming of deep dreams. He first dreamed of the first time he rode a broomstick. He then dreamed of the time he kicked that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Hufflepuff Marty Griffin in the balls… But then… a strange dream came through his mind… He was floating in the air, smoke and steam around him… When a figure appeared. Her flowing red hair made it obvious. It… was Florence Welch. She looked at Red, grinning. Red sort of stared at her, not grinning, just staring.

"Florence, why the f*ck are you invading my personal dreams? I was having fun kicking Marty Griffin in the balls!"
Florence said nothing. She kept herself quite, walking around Red, examining him. Red just floated still. Florence stopped, and started to unbutton her-

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!” Red shouted. “Look, you may have your interests in people, but look, I DON’T F*CKING LIKE YOU! YOU’RE AN UGLY B*TCH, SO GO TO HELL! Your f*cking hair will match the fire."

Florence, obviously pissed off with Red, faded away. Suddenly, Red found himself falling, until he hit the floor of his Azkaban cell and opened his eyes. He looked around, still in Azkaban. He sighed. Then, he walked up to his cell mate and shook him awake.

"Jello! Jello! I just had this… really retarded dream!" Red whispered.

"Did you kick Marty Griffin in the balls again?" Jello moaned, trying to wipe the dirt from his face.

"NO NO- well, yes. But that’s not it!” Red exclaimed. "I had a dream… that Florence Welch… tried to f*ck me…"
Jello’s eyes widened.

"But I mean seriously, I turned that ♥♥♥♥♥ DOWN, she’s such an ugly whore, who would like her? I mean, her hair looks like a mix between an anime freak and a-"
Jello’s arm flung straight up and punched Red right in the stomach. Red flew across the room, and crashed against the hard concrete wall.

"Damn dude!" Red exclaimed, dusting himself off. "I didn’t know you were that stro-"
Jello landed another punch at Red’s face. Red’s nose trickled with blood as he stumbled back a bit.

"DUDE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Red yelled.

Jello caught Red by his shirt collar.

"NOBODY EVER STEALS FLORENCE FROM ME!" Jello pushed Red across the room. His eyes glowed Red suddenly. I don’t know how the hell that happened, but that’s some ♥♥♥♥ up science going on there.

"YOU SON OF A B*TCH!" Jello yelled. "I WILL GIVE YOU AIDS!" Jello stomped right towards Red, pulling out hundreds of little ninja stars, tripping over a passing snail, then standing over Red, helplessly blocking his face with his arms. Jello cackled in his face, bringing his arm back, full of hundreds of sharp blades. Red was near hopeless, there was just one more hope…

"AH! JESUS CHRIST!" Jello screamed, falling backwards, crawling on the ground. "DID YOU JUST KICK ME IN THE BALLS?!"

"I got experience from Marty," Red said coolly.

Jello raged, he jumped up, and started throwing ninja stars everywhere at Jello. Red jumped around like a pansy, screaming like a girl from Jello’s attacks. Suddenly, with one star flung off course, it headed straight for the cell bars, and sliced right through it… Causing the entire jail door to fall down. Red and Jello looked at eachother… They looked at the door, then at each other.

"Why the hell didn’t you do that before?"
"I dunno, got lazy."

Hopefully, I will finish it, and you enjoyed it.

[RedLink]

XD Nice Story. And You are right. I would turn her down . Also da fu... I can totally own Jello : D. Also You may one to fix some grammar stuff. Re-read it again and you shall find out. Keep on writing. 9.6/10

[Mr_SaxMan]

1. Thanks Red. I was real tired last night, so I understand mistakes.
2. You're looking at Jello who knows you were not only going to have sex with Florence, but you turned her down and called her every name in the book. That's horrifying,