The Game vortex

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The Game vortex

Postby sirknightingfail » May 3rd, 2011, 2:41 pm

The first chapter is still incomplete, but here it is!

Chapter one: disappearance: show
When in Runouw City, at the Gaming forum, I was playing some Pokemon games on my game systems. The system’s screens started distorting. The screens then exploded and I was sucked into the game systems.


Last night, sirknightingfail mysteriously disappeared while playing his video games. A bright flash occurred and he then disappeared, along with his game systems. A weird machine appeared where he disappeared as he disappeared. It looks like a pokedex, but it was completely blank and had a think on the side that said energy and creatures consplingigated [this is a made up word]. Investigations shall be made into his whereabouts starting next month.




When I woke up, I found myself in near-complete darkness. I saw this thing that looked like a vortex, and thought, should I go in? I was thinking that there was nothing else to do, so I went over to it. I felt a strange energy emanating from it. I then touched it.
I found myself in an unfamiliar world with many strange beings in it. I then realized that they looked like pokemon, but none I have ever seen. Some were large, with electricity arcing across their bodies, while others were small, zipping across the plains with unprecedented speed. These animals were not species seen before, but I then realized that I could see some animals from well over a mile away. In the distance, there were many mountains. I was confused. I then looked down at myself and realized I was no longer a person.
I was an animal, with sharp, bent horns the color of steel. I had beautifully scaled wings, with tips sharper than an owl’s mind at the end of the wings. My wings were a dark maroon on the outside, but a light tan on the underside. My head was dark red on top, and a light tan on the bottom. My nostrils were in front of my eyes, just out of my view when I look ahead. I had claws that looked like they were meant for slicing and dicing enemies they were sharp enough to cut through steel as if it was butter. I had nice, flexible arms and easy to move claws. My tail was long and spiked at the end, as if it was to be used to hit foes behind me. My legs had clawed feet that can grip something below me if I am in midair.
I noticed another animal that looks like me was standing across the field from me, staring at me as if it wanted to battle. It then disappeared in a flash and was right next to me. It slashed me across the face, and boy did it hurt. The blood that was dripping out was the color of platinum. The bleeding stopped quickly and the scratches were gone almost immediately. The enemy disappeared from view again. I tried to move from side to side, and noticed that I can do it with extreme ease and agility. I heard a noise behind me and stuck my hand out. I caught the attacker in the arm. I tried to flip it up, and blew out my breath real hard. Fire came out. I scorched the enemy and afterwards, I felt some more of the weird energy I felt upon entering the vortex.
The enemy was still there, and it looked very tired. I went up to it and said, “Teach me”.
“Only after you tell me where you come from.”
I realized I didn’t remember where I was from, so I responded: ”I don’t know”
“You don’t know?!” it responded in a surprised tone.
“ All I remember is that I was once human, and waking up and finding myself here” I decided to leave out the stuff about the vortex for now.
"YOU'RE HUMAN?!"
"Wow, you really like to respond in an inquisitively surprised tone"I said sarcastically.
"And you like to be sarcastic"
“Yes, yes I do. Where am I?”
“ You are in Scavindalia” (skahw-vin-DAL-ee-ahw)
"Back to teaching me. Will you do it?"
"What is there to teach you? What is there to teach you?!" It sounded like it was laughing to itself.
“Why are you talking like that?”
“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough”, it said,” Oh, I almost forgot, my name is Narmstant”( GNARM- stint)


Meanwhile, back at the forums, AwesomeJRFD, who was put in charge of holding the weird machine, as he was sirknightingfail’s best friend at the time, heard a quiet pinging noise. When he went over to it, he saw that the energy level was lower and the creatures consplingigated number was 1.
People burst into AwesomeJRFD’s house and asked him, ” Where is the machine?”
“In my room, where else would it be?”
The people went up to his room and grabbed the machine. They pulled out another one, and it looked the same as it.


Back in Scavindalia, dark clouds started appearing in the distance.
“So it has begun…” Narmstant said in a hushed voice whilst looking at the clouds.

Chapter 2- Understanding: show
“Do you have a warrant?” asked AwesomeJRFD.
“No” they replied, ”we do not need one.”
“ Aw, I don’t care right now. I give you permission to search my house, as long as it has to do with the disappearance of sirknightingfail. So, who disappeared this time?”


Back in Scavindalia, Narmstant and I were watching the storm come in.
“Quick, come with me, there is much I need to teach you.”
Narmstant started to run towards one of the mountains, and I followed. I could easily keep up with it and run ahead of it if I wanted to. We talked to each other on the way there.
“I never did ask you, Narmstant, are you a boy or a girl?”
“ I am a girl” she responded.
“ A girl?”
“ If you have a problem with it, then I won’t teach you.”
“No, I don’t. I was just surprised.”
It was soon very dark. It looked like it was going to be a lightning storm. Lightning flashed in the distance. I then saw an unusual creature where the lightning struck.
It was a bright orange, with wings just like ours. It had electricity arcing across its body, as if it were able to control lightning. It let out a roar that shook the ground and everything near it. Lightning poured out of its mouth. The sky was lit up in brief flashes. Narmstant told me, “ Stay here. I will get this under control.”
“But I want to come”
“Okay, you can come, but you better be careful. You also must fly.”
“Why did we not fly over here? ”
“The air pressure was too low. We would not get enough lift.”
“Okay. Let’s go.”
She took off to the sky in a single wing beat. It made a wooshing sound that sounded like wind going through a fireplace. I copied what she did and I was soon in the air, right after her. I followed her closely and stayed right next to her for the majority of the flight.
“ Stay here”
“ But I want to come down. I did defeat you by the way.”
“I actually let you win that time. I was testing you to see if you were worthy of being taught.”
“How did you know I was uneducated?”
“ Your stance gave it away. You were standing relaxed, not ready if something attacked you, like I did.”
“ But may I please?”
“ No. Stay here and watch. You might learn a thing or two.”
She dove down with very high speed towards the being on the ground. Her wings were folded into her body. When she was above the being, she outstretched the claws on her feet and grabbed it. She then hit it right in front of the horns, but behind the eyes and knocked it out cold. She then flew up to me and told me to help her carry it back to where we were when it appeared.
When we got there, it felt like it was very late. She told me that it was time to set up camp for the night. I asked her,” What are we going to do with this other creature?”
“We are going to let it stay here with us. When it wakes up, it will not remember what happened and will be confused and will speak to us.”
We then set up camp on a rocky cliff face.
“Should I get some firewood?” I asked.
She laughed when I asked that question. “We are dragons! We do not need a fire to keep us warm!”
“Should I get some leaves to make these rocks more comfortable?”
Again, she laughed.” You will be surprised how comfortable this is. Leaves and grass get stuck under your scales and make you itchy. Just go to sleep.”
I went to sleep.
When I was dreaming, I saw the vortex again, but it was much larger. Many glowing spheres were going into the vortex. When each entered the vortex, a bright flash occurred. Each of the spheres looked like a surface of a bubble in its coloring, but the color was more solid.

Chapter 1 is now finished. corrections will be helpful.
chapter 2 is currently incomplete



Comment and correct any mistakes I made, such as typos. I will also add people into the story who want to. Hope you enjoyed. please rate.
Last edited by sirknightingfail on May 4th, 2011, 3:43 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: The Game vortex

Postby RedLink » May 3rd, 2011, 3:54 pm

Some minor grammar mistakes but no worries :P The Story is kind of redundant and well nothing special. You could be a little more descriptive :P Anyways so far its good but not OMFGWTFEPICAWEFACE :P Hope the full Story shall be better :P Also is this in 3rd person or in first 0.o What pokemon are you 0.o THEY TALK 0.o
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Re: The Game vortex

Postby sirknightingfail » May 3rd, 2011, 5:25 pm

I am not a currently existant pokemon. In fact, they all just look like pokemon, but are not.


Also, what is redundant? could you tell me?
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F for Falling off a cliff
U for Understanding my situation
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Messenger of Dreams

F is for F*** you, you mother F*****,
U is for Ur an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
N is for kNow that you're a F****** waste of space now get far away from me


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Re: The Game vortex

Postby AwesomeJRFD » May 3rd, 2011, 7:21 pm

sirknightingfail wrote:Also, what is redundant? could you tell me?


redundant: no longer needed or functioning.

I actually think it was very good. It was just a little fast-paced, especially the switching point of view.

Can I be in it?

8.5/10 for now. I will give a full rating when the story is complete.
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Re: The Game vortex

Postby sirknightingfail » May 3rd, 2011, 7:25 pm

Your request is my doing. you are now in possession of the unusual machine.


at your definition, I was asking which things in it were redundant. Chapter 2 coming soon ( or more edits to chapter 1) I don't know yet

More characters will be accepted
Pls Join the following server on minecraft:
www.dwacraft.com:25565
I invented the chat derpface: (. )_( *) or (' )_( .) or likewise. :P
I love anime too much... fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, kekkaishi, and durararaare some of my faves
Your subconscious asked me to show you this:
Spoiler: show
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058205749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
I post little. I say a lot. Post wisely, young padawan
It is blank???????????????????????????????????????

    /\__/\
    (='.'=)
    /____\
    (") (")
This is a cat put him in your signature to help defeat the bunny, or else it will invade your avatar

funabbrevations: show
Awesome JRFD

F for Falling off a cliff
U for Understanding my situation
N for Never bungee jumping w/o a cord again.


Messenger of Dreams

F is for F*** you, you mother F*****,
U is for Ur an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
N is for kNow that you're a F****** waste of space now get far away from me


Nin10Mode

F is for filled up with tons of homework,
U is for up late doing tons of homework,
N is for no sleep because you stayed up doing tons of homework


Shadrixian


F is fo facepalm, which people are doing at me.
U is for "Um WTF".
N is for nock you out and shut up, Shade, right now
youtube videos i like: show
my favorite award: show

Fastest LDC Judge Award

This user has successfully judged all the levels in the 12th LDC in less than 3 hours! Fear him Greatly.

User avatar
sirknightingfail
Code: Awesome

 
Posts: 368
Joined: December 20th, 2010, 5:11 pm
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