Kympo
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Re: Kympo
by Zunar » March 6th, 2010, 5:51 pm
and with a story (like with levels) it's better to edit your post then to make new ones, although it bumps your story.
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Re: Kympo
by Blablob » March 6th, 2010, 5:55 pm
Zunar wrote:and with a story (like with levels) it's better to edit your post then to make new ones, although it bumps your story.
I considered that at first, but with the issue that causes the post screen to screw up when I try to write my story, it would make it a major pain to do that (It's an issue that only happens to some people)
MessengerOfYahweh wrote:It is good and all, but... were did I go?
I haven't forgot about you, MOY. I just haven't found a particular good role to put you in.....yet. I'll try to find something in the future chapters.
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Re: Kympo
by Chaukai » March 7th, 2010, 9:58 am
Icky.... A Plot hole! :O Righty-o it's a great story still! 
Lots of twists and things. But I have a problem... What exactly did they DO in the Bermuda Triangle? >_> They went there, got attacked by a fish, swam to an island, and left. What happened to taking out the base? O_o
Lots of twists and things. But I have a problem... What exactly did they DO in the Bermuda Triangle? >_> They went there, got attacked by a fish, swam to an island, and left. What happened to taking out the base? O_o-
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Re: Kympo
by Blablob » March 7th, 2010, 1:59 pm
aznchau4ever wrote:Icky.... A Plot hole! :O Righty-o it's a great story still!
Remember when Niklaw pointed out that the fish is what the 3 were looking for? The shark was kind of like a boss. And each base holds a boss. Take out the boss, and the base is destroyed (Don't ask me how, just live with it). So, the Bermuda Triangle was the first of these bases, guarded by the shark (Which still hasn't been destroyed, so the base is still working, so our heroes will have to fight this monster again)
Hm....that gives me an idea for chapter 8...
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Re: Kympo
by Blablob » March 27th, 2010, 5:50 am
Chapter 8: To Avoid a Messenger
Back at McLeodgaming…
"Ah! This is nice!" Runouw exclaimed. "I have to admit. You guys did a good job building this pool. Too bad you'll never get to appreciate your own work." Runouw relaxed in the pool of 72 degree water. It wasn't necessarily the biggest pool, or the deepest, but good enough for 1 or 2 people.
The crowd of Runouw.com users stood around the pool. The pool was located just behind the McLeodgaming building. Runouw was swimming in his shorts and no shirt. "Hey, where's Greg?"
"Runouw, what's wrong with you?" Asked fourinone. Even he hasn't been his normal, happy self, lately.
“Nothing at all is wrong with me, my dear fourinone!”
“Dear fourinone? Okay, something is definitely wrong with this guy.” Whispered Megamario126, to fourinone.
But Runouw had ears like a lion. “What was that?”
“Nothing, Runouw sir!” Said fourinone.
Runouw began to step out of the pool. He grabbed a towel lying next to him, wiped himself off—though he was still dripping wet—and grabbed fourinone by his collar bone, and put him against the building. “I said, WHAT WAS THAT!?”
Fourinone grabbed Runouw’s hand and twisted it, causing Runouw to bang head first into the wall. “I don’t like to resort to fighting, but I could kick your scrawny ♥♥♥ with my eyes shut.”
Runouw had fallen on the ground, and turned around to show a light gash in his forehead. He was bleeding. “SECURITY!” Bellowed Runouw. “TAKE DOWN THIS USER, AT ONCE!
About 10 security guards rushed from seemingly nowhere, and tackled Four to the ground. “Wha—what are you doing, Runouw?”
Runouw turned around, and put his hands together. “Get him out of my site! Forever. I want him gone. I want him dead! Ban him from this building, and if any of you ever see him, shoot him on the spot.” Runouw—even though nobody could tell—had a wicked smile on his face.
“Runouw,” Fourinone added, “You can’t do this!”
Runouw turned around. He looked at the guards holding him, nodded to them, and said “Restrain him.”
“NOOO! You can’t do this to Fourinone!” Yelled Avolerators as the guards tied him up in a chair that other security guards had brought over.
“Let’s bring him to the basement. I’m gonna go put on some clothes.”
About five minutes later, the darkened-in-the-face Runouw, still with the gash, walked down to the cob web-infested basement. Runouw had a smirk—he was going to enjoy this.
The basement was seemingly small, with nothing inside except for, of course, cob webs. A few things such as a broom or an old television were lying around, and a few metal poles lied around the corners. But McLeod never used this dark and damp basement for anything. The ceiling was low to the ground, and a small lantern hanging from the ceiling was the only thing to light the room. There weren’t even any windows, so it was pretty humid. It was the one place in the whole building that nobody really visited.
The perfect place to kill someone.
Fourinone was restrained in a chair which was restrained to the ground. Two ropes were used, and they were tied together with super glue. Not even with fourinone’s strength could he escape.
Runouw walked up to him, and pulled out a knife. He threatened four by putting it up to his chin. The guards had locked the basement door, to ensure no one could come in.
“Do you wanna know the truth, my dear Fourinone? Do you?”
Fourinone said nothing. He stared at Runouw with a dirty look. Runouw gave him a punch to the lip. “Agh!” Groaned four as his lip began to swell and bleed from the cut.
“You wanna know my true identity?” DO YOU!?”
Fourinone nodded.
Runouw took off his mask which looked very real. Fourinone became wide-eyed. Runouw responded to the impression Fourinone gave. “Ever hear that saying, ‘If I tell you, I would have to kill you’?”
Fourinone was still wide-eyed. “Mess—Mess—MessengerofY__”
MOY slit his throat before the sentence could be finished. MOY looked up to the guards. “He knows our secret now. We couldn’t afford to take the chance that he would ruin everything. Tell Greg we’ve lost another one. Bury the body, and say nothing to the users.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, at Kympo…
“Okay, we’re here!” Said Niklaw, as the flying car began to lower itself into Washington D.C.
“It’s simply amazing how fast this car can travel.” Said Blablob, with a smile.
“You wanna know what’s amazing?” Suyo asked as he looked out the window, below. “How this care can bring us back from the dead even though such is impossible. This could be a great advantage.”
“Now entering Washington D.C.” Said Kympo.
“Hey, that reminds me,” Said Blablob. “What exactly are we doing in D.C?”
“Well,” Said Suyo, “Runouw said the next base would be UNDER Washington, so we have to go under the city.”
“How do we do that?”
Niklaw and Suyo both looked at Blablob. “Don’t you know?”
“How would I know?”
“Well,” Said Niklaw, “out of the three of us, you’re the only one who’s actually lived in the U.S. I live in Australia, and Suyo lives in Europe.”
Blablob shook his head. “I live in Florida. I know nothing about D.C, except that that’s where the White House is.”
“Well, maybe that could give us a clue.” Suyo said.
Suddenly, as Kympo landed on the ground, dozens upon dozens of spam bots came out from behind buildings, trees, and anywhere else imaginable. They were coming from nowhere! They were all running towards Kympo.
“Wuddawedo! Wuddawedo! Wuddawedo!” Yelled Blablob. Niklaw and Suyo glanced at eachother.
“Kympo is now creating distraction.” Kympo turned on some music. Don’t Stop Believing.
Niklaw gave a confused look at where the music came from. “How in the hell is music going to get us out of here?”
But Suyo Protested.” It got us out of trouble before. It won’t fail this time, either. Come, we have to sing!”
They all got out of the car. “Sing?” Asked Blablob.
Suyo started as the crowd of spam bots stared at him.
“JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL! LIVIN’ IN A LONELY WORLD! SHE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN, GOING ANYWHERE!” Suyo pointed at Niklaw. “You’re turn.”
“JUST A CITY BOY! BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROIT, mate. HE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE!” He nodded to Blablob. It seemed to be working.
“Oh no. I couldn’t.”
Niklaw gave him a nudge. “Yes you can. Get your ♥♥♥ out there and sing your heart out!”
“A SINGER IN A SMOKEY ROOM, A SMELL OF WINE AND CHEAP PERFUME! FOR A SMILE THEY CAN SHARE THE NIGHT, IT GOES ON, AND ON, AND ON, AND ON!”
“All together now!” Yelled Suyo. It was working. The spammers weren’t attacking.
“STRANGERS WAITING, UP AND DOWN THE BOULEVARD! THEIR SHADOWS, SEARCHING IN THE NIGHT!”
The music continued to play as the spammers cuffed their ears at the horrible singing. These spammers had been built with emotions—something they planned to use against them. Suyo Whispered, “Run.”
They cut through the trees, and headed north to the White House.
Back at McLeodgaming…
"Ah! This is nice!" Runouw exclaimed. "I have to admit. You guys did a good job building this pool. Too bad you'll never get to appreciate your own work." Runouw relaxed in the pool of 72 degree water. It wasn't necessarily the biggest pool, or the deepest, but good enough for 1 or 2 people.
The crowd of Runouw.com users stood around the pool. The pool was located just behind the McLeodgaming building. Runouw was swimming in his shorts and no shirt. "Hey, where's Greg?"
"Runouw, what's wrong with you?" Asked fourinone. Even he hasn't been his normal, happy self, lately.
“Nothing at all is wrong with me, my dear fourinone!”
“Dear fourinone? Okay, something is definitely wrong with this guy.” Whispered Megamario126, to fourinone.
But Runouw had ears like a lion. “What was that?”
“Nothing, Runouw sir!” Said fourinone.
Runouw began to step out of the pool. He grabbed a towel lying next to him, wiped himself off—though he was still dripping wet—and grabbed fourinone by his collar bone, and put him against the building. “I said, WHAT WAS THAT!?”
Fourinone grabbed Runouw’s hand and twisted it, causing Runouw to bang head first into the wall. “I don’t like to resort to fighting, but I could kick your scrawny ♥♥♥ with my eyes shut.”
Runouw had fallen on the ground, and turned around to show a light gash in his forehead. He was bleeding. “SECURITY!” Bellowed Runouw. “TAKE DOWN THIS USER, AT ONCE!
About 10 security guards rushed from seemingly nowhere, and tackled Four to the ground. “Wha—what are you doing, Runouw?”
Runouw turned around, and put his hands together. “Get him out of my site! Forever. I want him gone. I want him dead! Ban him from this building, and if any of you ever see him, shoot him on the spot.” Runouw—even though nobody could tell—had a wicked smile on his face.
“Runouw,” Fourinone added, “You can’t do this!”
Runouw turned around. He looked at the guards holding him, nodded to them, and said “Restrain him.”
“NOOO! You can’t do this to Fourinone!” Yelled Avolerators as the guards tied him up in a chair that other security guards had brought over.
“Let’s bring him to the basement. I’m gonna go put on some clothes.”
About five minutes later, the darkened-in-the-face Runouw, still with the gash, walked down to the cob web-infested basement. Runouw had a smirk—he was going to enjoy this.
The basement was seemingly small, with nothing inside except for, of course, cob webs. A few things such as a broom or an old television were lying around, and a few metal poles lied around the corners. But McLeod never used this dark and damp basement for anything. The ceiling was low to the ground, and a small lantern hanging from the ceiling was the only thing to light the room. There weren’t even any windows, so it was pretty humid. It was the one place in the whole building that nobody really visited.
The perfect place to kill someone.
Fourinone was restrained in a chair which was restrained to the ground. Two ropes were used, and they were tied together with super glue. Not even with fourinone’s strength could he escape.
Runouw walked up to him, and pulled out a knife. He threatened four by putting it up to his chin. The guards had locked the basement door, to ensure no one could come in.
“Do you wanna know the truth, my dear Fourinone? Do you?”
Fourinone said nothing. He stared at Runouw with a dirty look. Runouw gave him a punch to the lip. “Agh!” Groaned four as his lip began to swell and bleed from the cut.
“You wanna know my true identity?” DO YOU!?”
Fourinone nodded.
Runouw took off his mask which looked very real. Fourinone became wide-eyed. Runouw responded to the impression Fourinone gave. “Ever hear that saying, ‘If I tell you, I would have to kill you’?”
Fourinone was still wide-eyed. “Mess—Mess—MessengerofY__”
MOY slit his throat before the sentence could be finished. MOY looked up to the guards. “He knows our secret now. We couldn’t afford to take the chance that he would ruin everything. Tell Greg we’ve lost another one. Bury the body, and say nothing to the users.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, at Kympo…
“Okay, we’re here!” Said Niklaw, as the flying car began to lower itself into Washington D.C.
“It’s simply amazing how fast this car can travel.” Said Blablob, with a smile.
“You wanna know what’s amazing?” Suyo asked as he looked out the window, below. “How this care can bring us back from the dead even though such is impossible. This could be a great advantage.”
“Now entering Washington D.C.” Said Kympo.
“Hey, that reminds me,” Said Blablob. “What exactly are we doing in D.C?”
“Well,” Said Suyo, “Runouw said the next base would be UNDER Washington, so we have to go under the city.”
“How do we do that?”
Niklaw and Suyo both looked at Blablob. “Don’t you know?”
“How would I know?”
“Well,” Said Niklaw, “out of the three of us, you’re the only one who’s actually lived in the U.S. I live in Australia, and Suyo lives in Europe.”
Blablob shook his head. “I live in Florida. I know nothing about D.C, except that that’s where the White House is.”
“Well, maybe that could give us a clue.” Suyo said.
Suddenly, as Kympo landed on the ground, dozens upon dozens of spam bots came out from behind buildings, trees, and anywhere else imaginable. They were coming from nowhere! They were all running towards Kympo.
“Wuddawedo! Wuddawedo! Wuddawedo!” Yelled Blablob. Niklaw and Suyo glanced at eachother.
“Kympo is now creating distraction.” Kympo turned on some music. Don’t Stop Believing.
Niklaw gave a confused look at where the music came from. “How in the hell is music going to get us out of here?”
But Suyo Protested.” It got us out of trouble before. It won’t fail this time, either. Come, we have to sing!”
They all got out of the car. “Sing?” Asked Blablob.
Suyo started as the crowd of spam bots stared at him.
“JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL! LIVIN’ IN A LONELY WORLD! SHE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN, GOING ANYWHERE!” Suyo pointed at Niklaw. “You’re turn.”
“JUST A CITY BOY! BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROIT, mate. HE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE!” He nodded to Blablob. It seemed to be working.
“Oh no. I couldn’t.”
Niklaw gave him a nudge. “Yes you can. Get your ♥♥♥ out there and sing your heart out!”
“A SINGER IN A SMOKEY ROOM, A SMELL OF WINE AND CHEAP PERFUME! FOR A SMILE THEY CAN SHARE THE NIGHT, IT GOES ON, AND ON, AND ON, AND ON!”
“All together now!” Yelled Suyo. It was working. The spammers weren’t attacking.
“STRANGERS WAITING, UP AND DOWN THE BOULEVARD! THEIR SHADOWS, SEARCHING IN THE NIGHT!”
The music continued to play as the spammers cuffed their ears at the horrible singing. These spammers had been built with emotions—something they planned to use against them. Suyo Whispered, “Run.”
They cut through the trees, and headed north to the White House.
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Re: Kympo
by MICrophone » March 27th, 2010, 6:17 am
Nice chapter! This was very well written and developed. I wonder what will happen next…
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Re: Kympo
by MessengerOfDreams » March 27th, 2010, 6:29 am
Uhm... you can take me out of the story nao... J/K
I KNEW IT! Either way, good plot twist, about time I was a bad guy instead of the wimpy side character.
And now I am fully awake. (Although I would never kill fourinone, no matter how evil I can be)
As for the mod's and blab's side, you just make the characters seem more and more likable.
Best chapter yet, 9/10 because I've read better in other stories, but this is still a bound up.
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Re: Kympo
by Blablob » March 28th, 2010, 4:23 pm
MessengerOfYahweh wrote:9/10 because I've read better in other stories
THAT'S A LIE!
Just kidding! I know I ain't the best writer on the forums, but I'm glad you guys seem to think I rank near the top
Now, if anybody else would like to review, be my guest. (I really, really, need the reviews)
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Re: Kympo
by Megar » April 2nd, 2010, 12:36 am
Review of story "Kympo"
Very nice story in total. Alot of plot twists, including the real Runouw inside Runouw.com. At some times, I couldn't help laughing. Overall, Good Plot, 2 sided story, (Kympo Side and Forum Side) Funny bits, epic plot twists and that's about it.
Story Plot-Twister Points: 13/20
Grammar and Spelling Rank
Grammar-Excellent. I seen no wrong things about this. 5/5
Spelling-A few screw ups here and there, but overall OK. 3/5
Total= 13+5+3=21= 21/30.
Rank= Superb Story Teller!
Very nice story in total. Alot of plot twists, including the real Runouw inside Runouw.com. At some times, I couldn't help laughing. Overall, Good Plot, 2 sided story, (Kympo Side and Forum Side) Funny bits, epic plot twists and that's about it.
Story Plot-Twister Points: 13/20
Grammar and Spelling Rank
Grammar-Excellent. I seen no wrong things about this. 5/5
Spelling-A few screw ups here and there, but overall OK. 3/5
Total= 13+5+3=21= 21/30.
Rank= Superb Story Teller!
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