The Runouw.com Connection-Extended Chapter 7!

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Re: The Runouw.com Connection-Extended Chapter 7!

Postby MessengerOfDreams » February 25th, 2010, 10:51 am

Chapters 5, 6, and 7 extended! BRILLIANT!
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Re: The Runouw.com Connection-Extended Chapter 7!

Postby MICrophone » February 25th, 2010, 11:08 am

Random brilliant FTW! Like the updated chapters.
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Re: The Runouw.com Connection-Extended Chapter 7!

Postby MessengerOfDreams » February 25th, 2010, 2:18 pm

Chapter 8! MY best redoing yet!
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My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3
Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
"You were always a revolutionary, now there's just less of a chance of you crying in the corner." ~Ridder
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Re: The Runouw.com Connection-Extended Chapter 7!

Postby MICrophone » February 25th, 2010, 3:32 pm

Your revisions are really quite excellent. However, two questions about Chapter 8. Who's narrating at the beginning? By process of elimination, I'm assuming me, but you don't make it clear. And random blablob is random. I hope you're gonna explain his role in the next chapter, because that was truly out of the blue, unless Rick Stevens was pretending to be blablob…
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Re: The Runouw.com Connection-Extended Chapter 7!

Postby MessengerOfDreams » February 25th, 2010, 3:39 pm

Yeah, I'm redoing the entire last chapter, from scratch, presumably, while keeping its plot in line.
Image
Image

My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3
Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
"You were always a revolutionary, now there's just less of a chance of you crying in the corner." ~Ridder
User avatar
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Thumbs Up given: 519 times
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Re: The Runouw.com Connection-Extended Chapter 7!

Postby MICrophone » March 3rd, 2010, 2:39 pm

Hmm…the last chapter is better written and has substantially less holes. You still make it hard to visualize the action scenes (though you did better with that in the sequel) and you really have to suspend disbelief at some points, but an improvement over the original. That goes for the entire revision.
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Re: The Runouw.com Connection-Extended Chapter 7!

Postby LUIGIMAN >:0 » March 14th, 2010, 8:08 am

OMG MOY that is long uh oh *explodes*
Do you wanna know how to get facepamed *facepalm* Mario & Luigi adventures(chat story) is under construction ( viewtopic.php?f=27&t=4016 )
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Click here to level up my card! Go here instead to level up http://www.mubos-md.com/brawlcards/levelup.php?102831 (The monster battle feild viewtopic.php?f=13&t=4121 ) Bartenders needed for food court
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