Runouw: Danger and Deception

[The Masked One]

I have an enrollment.
Name: Shiosai Basara Ike (Goes by the Identity of 'The Masked One'... Or rather, the other way around.)
Age: 18-ish
Appearance: Wears a blood-red robe that covers his entire body, also has a Hood he wears all the time attached to it. Has a blue hawk mask, other facial features impossible to distinguish. (The hawk's beak opens and closes like a real hawk's, that's how he eats.)
Rank: Mercenary (Works for anyone if they pay enough money.)
Attitude: Silent, stealthy, deadly, pretty much never talks.

[JSlayerXero]

You haven't lost my attention. Granted though, I'm rarely on as of late so I don't exactly notice when ANYTHING goes on around here :P

I like this story so far by the way.

[Zunar]

Love the story, SMIC. 10/10

However, I have a few things to mention. I found some spelling/grammar issues, and I would like to report them. Original version is in quotes, fixed version is below it.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: show

He shook is head strongly.

He shook his head strongly.

SK says he can catch glimpses of his brother as their bound in some weird genetic way,

SK says he can catch glimpses of his brother as they're bound in some weird genetic way,

His black eyes observed his face scrutinizingly, looking for any spot unwahsed,

His black eyes observed his face scrutinizingly, looking for any unwashed spot,

Stepping outside, he changed out of pyjamas into some jeans and a black T-shirt.

Stepping outside, he changed out of pajamas into some jeans and a black T-shirt.

He grabbed it’s sheath, sheathed the sword, and then swung it over his back,

He grabbed its sheath, sheathed the sword, and then swung it over his back,

See, one thousand people sounded like a lot, but the other side had recruited rougly a thousand people as well,

See, 1000 people sounded like a lot, but the other side had recruited roughly 1000 people as well,

In the distance, SuperMIC could see another army in the distance.

In the distance, SuperMIC could see another army.

As the words left Runouw’s lips, both side responded simultaneously.

As the words left Runouw’s lips, both sides responded simultaneously.

Runouw, watching the calamity from many metres behind started to clutch his head

Runouw, watching the calamity from many meters behind, started to clutch his head

That’s your flaw Panik buddy. Never looks back.

That’s your flaw, Panik buddy. You never look back.

However, Usu was almost in his hedgefox form.

However, Usu was almost always in his hedgefox form.

Victinis body was covered in yellow fur and his ears had some orange fur that went down to his forehead and up his other ear resembling a “v” shape on his body.

Victini's body was covered in yellow fur and his ears had some orange fur that went down to his forehead and up his other ear resembling a “v” shape on his body.

What the f*ck are you, and unsympathetic pile of sh*t?

What the f*ck are you, an unsympathetic pile of sh*t?

When you walked, the soon resonated throughout the entire room, which was quite tall but not as wide.

When you walked, the sound resonated throughout the entire room, which was quite tall but not very wide.

As a result of this, the two tired companions’ were shuffling their shoes,

As a result of this, the two tired companions were shuffling their shoes,

Immediately, the stood up straight, and stood their spears to their sides.

Immediately, they stood up straight, their spears to their sides.

He had this thought at the back of his of who would be so grotesque as to even do this to a man.

In the back of his head, he had this thought of who would be so grotesque as to even do this to a man.

Also, I'd like to be in the story. Should I PM you?

[SuperMIC]

THANK YOU for those errors. XD

Right, so you can just post here or PM if you want your character to be more "mysterious." Probably just PM me, it'll make the suspense factor be a lot greater.

But two things: I do believe it's "pyjamas," and in Canada, it's "metres." :3

Oh and one more thing... I was strictly taught in my "story-writing up-bring" that you always spell out numbers, unless it's like a number such as 134723847239.

[Zunar]

THANK YOU for those errors. XD

You're welcome.

But two things: I do believe it's "pyjamas," and in Canada, it's "metres." :3

Looked up pajamas, and it can be spelled either py or pa.

Oh and one more thing... I was strictly taught in my "story-writing up-bring" that you always spell out numbers, unless it's like a number such as 134723847239.

I was taught you spell out numbers if they are less than 100. Any numbers 100 and above you write in number form.

[Master1.0]

New chapter is great as always, SMIC! Has the descriptions I always expect from you!

(When will I be seen in the story again dammit?1 *shot* )

[Ridder]

I approve the development of this story.

[Karyete]

So, I have my head cut off?

Anyway, I few grammar errors, but I think this is a great story, nonetheless written by a 12YO! 9.5/10!!

[Megar]

I approve, good sir.
The writing in this story is excellent, I didn't spot one error in grammar or spelling. As with the plot, as well.
Do write more, good sir.

[SuperMIC]

Chapter 6 has arrived~ Oh yeah, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE read an edit to the end of Chapter 5, or it won't make sense.