Introduction-Cameron Johnson’s Note
If you are reading this book, you, my friend, have great taste in reading
In all seriousness, though, show of hands, how many people are wondering “Why are you writing a book featuring some random website? What, do you not get out much? Do you even have a life?” Well, there’s a small story behind that. The first question, I mean.
This site, this Runouw.com thingamajig, is very, uhm, unique. It started out as a flash gaming forum, but evolved into a small community of people from around the world, from places like England, Germany and Australia. Games of the non-flash kind, homemade artwork, homemade music (courtesy of my partner-in-crime Jack Walker) and, of course, stories, came into display, putting strength into the community.
Now most of the stories are about activity on the website, fighting the evil spammers with some mythical power over the internet, which becomes a city. I thought “I could write one of these, but my parents would probably think I’ve been online way too long.” I decided that when I write, I was gonna make the website a subject, not a story. I took ideas I previously had for a police officer story, turned most of them into youth, and voila, you have this story here.
The Beatles were right, though, I got by with a little help from my friends, and by a little, I mean I couldn’t have done it without them. Jack Walker from New York wrote half of the latter portions of the book, which at first was a sequel before I combined the books into one. He also edited most of these chapters. Expect a guest appearance from Alana Starr who writes half of chapter 6 and gives me some incredible yet frank support. And nearly every character was created by someone on said website. In fact, my only true creations were Sam and Dania Eastman. Look at the back of the book for a chart with the character names and online aliases that created them. (You may want to read the book first, because this may tip you off to some of the things in the book.)
I hope you enjoy reading a book like no other, created by people like no other. Seriously.
Cameron Johnson.
Chapter 1-Runouw-Jack Walker and Cameron Johnson
Jack Walker’s Portion
(2 Weeks Ago)
Nicolas Locke sat in front of his computer and sighed. He reached his hands forward to the keyboard, and then withdrew them suddenly. He did this repeated for a minute. I can't do it, he thought. This place has meant so much to me. I just - and at long last, he typed in "runouw.com/forums" into his web browser's address bar. Ah, Runouw.com. All of the familiar sights met Nicolas, or "Niklaw," as was his username on the forums. The chat at the top, the list of forums ranging from site News to Super Mario 63 Level Designer Levels to the General Artwork forum. It would be hard to leave here. Reluctantly, he moved his cursor over the button in the top left corner reading, "0 new messages."
Runouw.com was a Portland based Internet forum that had been one of the biggest part of Locke's life since he moved to the city from Australia two years previous. In fact, it was here that he made his first friends, some of which he later met in person while he didn't even know the names of others. A teenager named Rob Stevens had started it under the name, "Runouw," and because of the massive success of his flash game Super Mario 63, it quickly gained popularity. Nicolas was one of the site's three moderators. The moderators' job was to enforce the rules of the forum, and they were the top authorities only second to Runouw. Ah, how he enjoyed the job. It allowed for a unique relationship between him and the other members, not to mention he took great satisfaction out of destroying spammers trying to mess up the forums. But he was going to put that all behind now, and he didn't like it.
Why would he put this joy of his behind him, you may ask? Simple. He had dreams. Those dreams didn’t involve sitting in front of the computer. They involved a lot of work.
He clicked the Board Index button, wishing to take a look at the chat at the top of that page for the last time. The members were busy chatting away about this and that. Finally, he clicked the "0 new messages button" again followed by "compose message." He was about to compose a private message to Runouw. This meant that only Runouw could see it, and in terms of format it was similar to an email. He typed "Runouw" into the box to the left of the words, "Find a member," then clicked "add." He then clicked the subject box and typed in the words, "My departure…"
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Cameron Johnson’s Portion
Buffy span around on her swivel chair, and faced the trio of heroes. Surprising actually, these were all teenagers from around the same area, one of them a fourteen year old. Buffy herself was only twenty-three, but wore so much make-up she looked a lot older.
“So you three,” she started picking up the items on my desk “you are now honorary member of the police”. She gave them a medal each. The young one known as Mic looked at it in awe, the older male, Sam looked astonished, but the eldest, Ema seemed disinterested.
“Thanks” Mic said, not taking his eyes off of it.
“You’re welcome” Buffy smiled. “And now” She directed her gaze at the two oldest, “would you like to join the police force?” Ema’s eyes looked up at this, clearly showing her desire to become one. “You know, always, I always wanted to. That and an architect.”
“Well, I want to ask you a question. How long have you known each other?” Buffy told her.
“I just met Sam, and Mic I’ve known for about a year.” She replied. “So, how do I become a police officer?”
“First off, training.” Was Buffy’s reply. “It shouldn’t take too long if you dedicate.”
Sam looked up. “I always sucked at P.E. Left with a dodge ball phobia. Everyone bum-rushes me, the autistic kid.”
Buffy nodded sympathetically. That wasn’t really her in school; she was the more popular girl, in part due to her English accent, which interested people. “Well, after training we give you a big case. If you don’t botch it up, you basically pass, welcome to the squad, ladidadida and you’re a police officer. The kid… we’ll see, just… we’ll see.”
Sam and Ema nodded, Mic still awestruck and grinning ear-to-ear until he got a phone call. “Hi Mom! Yeah, you’ll never believe it… we’re at the police station... what, no, no, no! It’s good… there’s this cool lady here who wants to make us cops… because we caught that one thief… you know, the one at Cleveland High, the one we got the medal of honor for… yeah, you know... you talked to her… wow… cool! So no explanation needed… Cool… Thanks, Mom! Love ya!” He looked at Buffy and said “Well, I’m a definite in!”
Buffy nodded and turned to Sam and Ema. “Well, you’re old enough to make your own decisions. You in, or are you out?”
Ema grinned. “In like today’s fashion!” she said.
Sam grinned himself. “I can’t come up with anything witty like that… so, yeah, guess I’m in.”
Buffy nodded. “Here are some badges. Granted, they’re not real police officer badges, it’s a different kind of badge. It gives you most the authority of a normal officer, warranting arrests, a search warrant, stuff like this. Well, there’s not much else to say. You’re stationed at Penumbra Kelly Juvenile Hall off of NE 47th and Burnside. We’ll see you bright and early 7:00am Monday. Good luck, and can’t wait to get started!”
The three of them nodded and left, walking out into Lownsdale Square in downtown Portland.
Mic heard a car honk and saw that his mom was waiting for him. “Got to go, guys. See ya!”
Sam nodded and said “Give my regards to Mrs. Davis.”
Mic laughed and said “I will. Have a great day, goofballs.”
Ema giggled. “Great kid.” She smiled. Sam nodded and added “Yeah, his manners need a little tweaking though.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Ema said. “Anyway, isn’t this great? We’re gonna be real police officers! Real, actual, bona-fide police officers!”
Sam nodded. “Not my first choice, but, sounds cool.”
They walked as if traffic wasn’t there and the only surrounding things were trees. Lots and lots of pine trees. “Well, what was your first choice?” she asked him
“Something along the lines of what my dad does. More artsy.” He replied. “Photography, preferably. You’ve seen my work, right? It could work.”
She nodded. “Yeah, as for architecture, I can fit college and police work into my life.”
Sam looked concerned. “You sure you can do it?”
“You are, right?”
“True, but photography… that’s easy. Just go out, snap a camera at the right angle, tweak it a little, and voila! You pass!”
“Well, Architecture is different. I’m working on one project one year long. It’s like a book. You tweak it until it’s just right, and then sell it.”
“Yeah, two totally different things. So I’m thinking about getting started as soon as I can, in summer, so I can have more time in case police work gets in the way.”
“You know, that’s a good idea. I may do that.”
“Ah, it’ll be nice to juggle Autism and all that into a Police Uniform. Stick it to the bullies who presumed I’d be one of the retards in a mental institute.”
“Wow, c’mon, you’re autistic, not brain-damaged.”
Sam laughed for no apparent reason and said “You know what, Ema?”
Ema smiled and said “What?”
“I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks, enough to catch the bandit and all that, but you are definitely one of the coolest people I’ve ever met.”
Ema giggled. “That’s so sweet, Sam! You’re pretty cool, too. You, me and Mic make the perfect crime-fighting trio. I can’t wait!”
“And, Ema… I wanted to ask you something.” Sam said as they stopped by the Soldier’s Memorial in the middle of Lownsdale Square.
“Fire away.” She grinned.
Sam turned a deep shade of crimson, stuttered a few seconds and then lied “Crap, I lost it.”
“Aw.” She sighed. “All that suspense for nothing.”
“Tell you what.” Sam added. “If I remember, I’ll tell you. Okay?”
“Sure.” She said. “Well, there’s the MAX. Better head home.”
“Take care of yourself, Em, okay?”
“Will do. You too, okay?”
Sam nodded, and the two parted directions.
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(Present Day)
In the Middle of Portland, Oregon, in a one-person loft was a frequent online blogger. Owning a website for flash gaming, runouw.com, which was named after the alias of its owner, had evolved into a hangout space for preteens and young adults from all over the city, despite the fact that none of them had met before.
Rob Stevens, looked as an online chatter’s words appeared in the chat box "Hey, Runouw! Chat with us!"
Another cynically replied "Yeah, like that will ever happen. Runouw would rather die than chat."
The first responded with a "Yeah lol"
Rob rolled his eyes. He typed a reply “Sorry, busy.”
A shocked face appeared on the chat, followed by “Oh my god! He’s alive!”
Rob smiled. “Surprisingly, yes, although with my brother’s business trip, it’s been awfully quiet here.”
The second chatter replied with “Oh, so you’re halfway here, eh?”
Then a private message (or in plain English, a site e-mail) popped up on his computer. Stevens clicked on his PM link.
The Message was from the global moderator, his close friend only known as Superyoshi. The subject read "We found the fourth moderator!"
Stevens grinned as he was eager to appoint this mystery moderator. Having complete trust in his moderators, odds were he wouldn’t question their decision.
Right when he clicked on the link, a brute force slammed into the back of his head, leaving him slumped in the chair, dead.
The masked man chuckled as if he was playing a game, muttered “sucker”, threw Stevens out of the office chair and sat in it himself.
The next day, runouw.com was closed down. All topics were locked; all the users were banned, as well as the moderators and none of the users knew why Runouw would do that.
All but one. The killer.
Chapter 2-The Case Begins
(-Buffy’s Narrative-)
Penumbra Kelly Juvenile Hall. The home of many rebellious, depressed and even dangerous teens was also a classroom to young adults who longed to make a difference. Three, to be exact. One was loudly smacking approximately 1 foot of the 6 feet roll of Hubba Bubba, another whistling loudly to his Mp3 player, a third excitedly paced around. I, not much older than them, looked at these three and thought to myself “I can’t believe this is the face of the future Portland Police Department.” Whether it was excitement or disdain, I couldn’t discern.
Nevertheless, I, Buffy Clark, continued.
“Felkis, Davis and Eastman.” I stated, in an attempt to look like a large authority among them, although in reality, Eastman and Felkis were both a half-foot taller than me. “You three have been through grueling training to get you in shape that has most adults crying to their mommies. For passing without a hitch, I applaud you, but you are nowhere near done. I called you over here today because I have a test for you today, and for as long as it may take. This test will prove whether or not-“
“Excuse me,” Mic Davis interrupted, stopping his pace and peering towards the exit, “He’s gone now.”
I sighed in relief, since I realized my strict boss had made his exit. Usually he had required that I myself be strict with the interns, which I hate. “Okay, cut the commando crap. How many of you have ever heard of http://www.runouw.com?”
No hands went into the air.
I nodded. “Me either. So, from what I hear, this site is based in Portland, and it is an online forum that centers on flash gaming, more notably, the owner’s game called Super Mario 63. It’s an online fan game that has broken records and won awards. You gotta admit that’s impressive.”
Sam Eastman raised his eyebrows, and removed his headphones completely. “Ah, yes, Buffy. I am a fan of that myself. That was said Stevens?”
I nodded, and at that moment my slight smile disintegrated. “Well, the owner’s name was Rob Stevens, online known as Runouw (don’t ask me where he came up with THAT name), and last night, he was found dead at Lovejoy and NW Station Way in his condominium by Union Station.”
Ema Felkis, who was in the midst of blowing a gum bubble, felt it pop over her face. Undaunted, she wiped it off and said “A murder? That’s always terrible. You know I’m not looking forward to this.”
“Exactly. But it gets more interesting.” I started to tap my foot, my habit when getting excited. “The killer actually used Stevens’ computer to shut down the website.”
Ema grinned. “Which means, whoever killed Stevens could have been after something on the website?”
“Good Job!” I high-fived a beaming Ema. Even Mic and Sam couldn’t help but grin at her cheerful disposition, a staple for her. Sam liked to call her the team cheerleader.
Sam asked “Can I hack into the website? I want to learn more about this… Rinnow?”
“No, I think it is Ranova.” Mic replied.
“You’re both wrong,” Ema put in, “It’s Runowch!”
I laughed. “It is Rinouw- no, Ranwich- no, look; now you got me all confused!” I laughed hysterically for a couple of seconds, then took in a deep breath and composed myself. “It’s Runouw. And, yes, I did bring in a laptop. Now if we could just find a place we can get some dang Wi-Fi, you could sure try.”
Grinning, Sam cracked his knuckles. Hacking was a specialty of his. The Super Mario 63 he had said he had played, he beat by hacking into the game’s system and increasing Mario’s size until he could kick his enemies out of the way. And, yes, he programmed Mario to do that as well. As you know, hacking into someone’s personal life is illegal but if the guy’s dead and you’re working for police, it magically becomes legal.
A few fancy yet boring technological moves later, Sam was in under the alias of Runouw. “I’ll start with the PM’s.”
“PM’s?” Ema asked between chewing gum.
“Private Messages,” Sam explained. “Basically, if anyone wanted to contact him, send him hate mail, or give him details about the website, that would be the way to do it.”
Mic pointed to a PM with a caution mark on it. It read “Need You in Off-Topic Quick.” The Sender was an alias of Blablob. “What, are all members authorized to down three large bags of sugar before you pick a name?” he joked. Sam chuckled. Mic’s wit and humor went unmatched. “Anyways, open it.” Mic continued.
Opening it, the message read the following: “Runouw quick! The moderators are off and Zebterestalala and Lrmaster132 are in a big flaming match! You can’t miss it! The topic is called “Lrmaster Sucks and Fails at Life! They’re clogging the chat with quite precisely chosen swear words, just do something quick! Ban them or something!”
“Yikes,” Ema said. “They’re sure spreading the hate.”
“Yeah, more funny names, too.” I noted.
Thoughtfully, in the search bar, Sam typed in “Ban.” Instantly, the ban log, the history of all those prohibited from using the website, came up. At the bottom were Lrmaster132 and Zebterestalala. The report, by Runouw, read
“Zebterestalala and Lrmaster132
1 month
Starting a full-fledged flame war.”
In a quote bubble, it read “Zebterestalala wrote: Lrmaster I am sick of you! You suck, yo mama sucks, and you’re nothing but a loser! Leave this website, because no one likes you!
Lrmaster132 wrote “Yo zebterestalala you are a worthless person! You can stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. I hate yo guts and you better get off this forum before I send you a virus!”
Ema was horrified. “My god, these seem more likely to kill each other than Stevens!”
“But these guys also have posted hundreds of times.” Mic pointed out. “They probably associated with friends here, and on the right day, could have been peed off enough to kill Stevens and shut down the whole website.”
Sam went back to the PMs. “Hmm… there’s his last PM before his death. It says ‘We found the fourth moderator!’”
“You would probably think I’m clueless,” Ema started, “But what’s a moderator?”
“Basically, another leader. Like a police officer.”
This Ema could understand quite easily.
He opened this message sent by a Superyoshi. Before Mic could quip on an actual name that made sense, Sam started to read.
“‘Hey Runouw. I know with all the spam bots’ Which, Ema, is people who are only on the website to advertise bullcrap, ‘that have been posting non-stop lately; I feel the need for another moderator is in order. Now, I know how bad Blablob wanted this, as he has been doing a lot of volunteer moderation lately, but I think that the guy has a tendency to overdo it, and may be a tyrant as a moderator, there, I said it. I do believe that Avolerators, however, would make a much better moderator, as he is friendly, well-composed and, well, just fit for the job. Blablob would probably be ticked, but, hey, he can’t hack into the computer or anything, so we’re set.’”
Ignoring the urge to impersonate Blablob back to Superyoshi, Sam shook his head. “I swear, if this nonsensically named blablob did kill Stevens, he obviously must have no life whatsoever. And does anyone else notice his ‘Prepare to Die’ topic? Suspicious.” That got me, too. Who makes a topic about people dying?
There was only one message left that intrigued me. It read “My departure,” from a Niklaw. Sam saw me eyeing it and decided to open it.
“Dear Runouw,” it read. “You’ll have to forgive me, but I have decided to leave http://www.runouw.com for a simple reason- it has really in my opinion become a mess, and so many of these people could very simply meet up in Portland somewhere, but are busy hunched over a computer, allergic to daylight. I would manage much better in face-to-face conversation. If you could give me your address, maybe we could organize something like that. Either way, I respectfully depart from the forum, with Avolerators as my replacement. Cheers! Niklaw.”
All four of us raised their eyebrows, well, except Ema, who did not have eyebrows, oddly enough born without them. A characteristic trait, if you will.
“This guy probably got Stevens’ address!” I hissed.
“So our main suspects so far are this blob guy, a zebra, the claw and some Lrmaster thingamajig?” Ema asked, rolling her eyes and adding “Only online.”
“Well,” Mic added, “We haven’t bothered to research family yet.”
I handed Mic a file. “Well, from what I got, the parents live in Charleston, South Carolina.”
Ema sighed in relief. “That’s good, because you all know how much I would hate to tell the family. I’d probably be the first to start bawling like a true professional.”
I sure knew that was the truth, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. “He lives with his brother, Rick Stevens, but that is a high impossibility that he did it. I called him and he’s in Tokyo on a business trip. He is an assistant executive of Intel, over on the west side of the city.”
“So back to the blob guy, the zebra, the claw and the thingamajig.” Sam said. “That can’t be all the people, I mean, there are about 3,000 members on the site, and any one of them could have done it.”
Mic and Ema both seemed to be thinking. Then, as if their minds had merged, Mic started.
“Well, think about it! How many of those 3,000 actually used the site?” Mic referred to the counter at the bottom of the page. “Only 50 on their best day.”
“And out of those 50, how many did you think actually really knew this guy?” Ema pointed out. “I don’t think Stevens is the type that hands out addresses to his place to random people. Only those he trusted. Like the Niklaw thing.”
“Hmm… And I guess it’s safe to say, out of the people he trusted, how many do you think actually had something against him?” Sam jumped into their vibe. “Maybe someone found out about Niklaw’s idea, or Niklaw himself hopped in and closed the website.”
“So, we are all in agreement that Niklaw is the first person we want to talk to, right?” I tried, totally loving it when I can get them thinking like this.
“Exactly.” all three said at once.
They paused and looked at each other.
“That was cool!” Mic laughed. Sam and Ema followed.
After further hacking, Sam discovered his name was Nicolas Locke and he lived at 91st and Ankeny. However, his school, Benson Polytechnic high school, was where he probably was at in the moment, as he was part of an after-school computer class. Rest assured the three would be waiting for him.
“So,” Sam started, shutting the laptop, relieved to have gotten enough of the crappy Wi-Fi signal to finish, “Are we ready to go?”
“Hold it!” I stopped Sam in his tracks. I was digging in the pocket of my Polo jacket and dug out four taser guns. “This guy could be volatile, so you should take some of these.”
Although Hesitant, the usually non-harmful Ema knew logic when she saw it, and picked a taser, delicately placing it in my jacket. Sam cautiously grabbed one himself. Mic, who had previously stated that he always wanted a taser, eagerly grabbed it from me and accidentally fired at Ema.
A half-mile away, a shrill noise scared all the ducks out of the pond at Laurelhurst Park.
“Oops,” Mic shrugged, sheepish. “Sorry.”
All Ema could spit out was “That HURT!”
I angrily snatched Mic’s taser away as Ema limped into a seat. “I better come along with you guys, before Mic, gee, I don’t know, happens to electrocute someone with the entire power system.” I shot him a dirty look that read “Idiot.”
Sam couldn’t help but quip “And let Ema scare away every bird in the tri-county area.”
Ema was the first to laugh at that.
(Narration of Sam Eastman)
Climbing inside of a Crown Victoria, I grabbed a map of the metro area and quickly calculated an easy route to Benson- Follow Burnside all the way down to twelfth, then hang a right and you’re there. I should mention that as great as Ema is, she fails at directions. I sat next to her as she grabbed the wheel and asked “Would you like me to drive this time?”
She shook her head vigorously and focused on the road, replying “Nope. This is gonna be the day. I can do it this time.”
Mic rolled his eyes and said “Dear lord, we’re gonna end up in the next county.”
“You. Zip it.” Ema snapped. “It’s not like you can drive us here, so shut up or I’ll drop you on the side of the road and leave you there.”
Mic groaned and settled down for what could be a long drive. Buffy punched him in the shoulder and grinned. She was getting ready for the show, I could tell.
“So, where do I turn, Sam?” she asked me.
“Uhm, twelfth.” I replied, looking at my map to double-check. I smiled at her, in a gesture of friendliness, and added “Shouldn’t be hard.”
She pushed her vivid red hair out of her eyes and said “Well, wish me luck.”
I grinned and nodded.
About a half-mile down the way, she asked me “What was it again?”
Internally, I was shaking my head in frustration. “Twelfth.”
She nodded and readjusted her focus on the road.
About 3 minutes later, we approached 12th avenue. “Ema, there it is.” I told her. She didn’t seem to notice, blowing right through the complicated 6-way intersection.
I tapped her on the shoulder, and she swerved across a few lanes clumsily. Harried, she gasped out a “What?”
Almost afraid to answer, I replied “You missed it.”
She slammed her hand on the steering wheel, accidentally blasting the horn, surprising all of us. “DANG IT!” she yelled out. “Now what am I supposed to do?”
“Grand’s coming up.” I told her. “Just turn right there. Next light signal. And this time, turn, please.”
She sighed and actually turned right at the right signal.
“Now next turn right at Lloyd Boulevard.” I told her.
Luckily, this time she didn’t overshoot it. On the downside, she undershot it and got us onto the freeway.
“Goddang it Ema!” I sighed, ready to pull my hair out.
“What, that wasn’t Lloyd?” she replied, frustrated.
“Jeez, Ema. We’re on the freeway. No freaking duh this isn’t Lloyd.” I grumbled.
“Well, what am I supposed to do now?” she replied.
“For Yah’s sake, Ema, you’re a detective. You figure it out.” I told her tersely.
“Well, I’m not going to just keep following this until my hair turns gray, which should be pretty soon if you keep talking to me.” She snapped at me.
“The only thing keeping me talking to you right now is the fact that if I don’t, we’re never gonna get there!” I shouted.
“Ema. Sam. Shut the living heck up.” Mic called at us. “I’m sick of getting ‘Traveling Soap Operas’ on the radio. Get a life, it’s a freaking drive, you don’t need to act like jerks over it.”
Ema turned to the windshield, and 20 minutes later, we were there. Absolute silence.
I didn’t know if I enjoyed it or dreaded it.
I stepped out of the car and walked over to the others. Ema kindly reached out to slap me across the face. “From now on, you sit in the backseat, you got it, jerk?”
I rolled my eyes and started to walk to the school. Uncertain, Buffy and Mic followed, hoping not to get in the middle of it. Opening the doors (and by opening them I mean slamming them against the wall in an effort to blow off steam, and at the same time really improving the police force’s image) I sauntered into the office and asked “Excuse me, Ma’am. I’m looking for a Nicolas Locke.”
Ema butted in and, gently pushing me aside, elaborated “Portland Oregon Police Department. We need to talk with him.”
The secretary raised her eyebrows and told us “Don’t know what you would want with him. He’s a great student.”
I decided to be blunt “A website owner was murdered last night, and he and Locke were very closely connected over the internet.”
The secretary gasped as Ema gave me her first dirty look I think I ever got from her. Ah, well, there’s a first time for everything, and I was glad to retaliate with one of my own.
Mic pushed us both apart. “Yeah, surprising, eh?” he told the secretary charmingly. “But don’t worry; we’ve got more suspects than a Law and Order episode. We just want to talk to him because he was the only one to get Stevens’ address. Is he here? Because we, uhm, hit some rush-hour drama along the way, if you catch my drift, so we’re a tad bit late.” The secretary laughed as I raised my eyebrows at Ema. Ah, who could stay mad when Mic started to talk to people?
“Well, young man,” the secretary replied, full grin on her face, “I do believe that the technology after-school class ended about 15 minutes ago, I’m afraid, so you’ll have to try again tomorrow.”
Ema groaned in frustration. We had just missed him, and we all know why that was.
“Ah, well.” Mic smiled, throwing his hands up in an “ah, well” gesture, and said “That we may do, ma’am. You have a nice day, you hear?”
“One more thing.” The secretary told Mic. “I do wish your companions had your kind manners.”
Mic laughed and gave her a thumbs-up as we walked out. I grimaced and told Mic when we were safely out of the school “You’re lucky she doesn’t know you in real life.” He smirked, rolled his eyes and said “Shut up, jerk.”
Ema ran across the street and angrily kicked the cop car and shouted a loud obscenity. So unlike her. But could you blame her?
“I am NEVER driving again!” she shouted as she launched her foot onto the door, causing a large dent. Not really caring, she proceeded to punch the hood, without hurting her hand, too.
I patted her on the back and told her “Hey, crap happens. We screwed up. So be it. Now we just try again tomorrow, eh?”
Smiling, she winked and added “You are so Canadian.” She loved to tease me like that.
I grinned and shook her hand. “Want me to drive this time?”
She nodded. “With pleasure.”
Mic couldn’t help but add “And so ends another thrilling episode of Traveling Soap Operas. Get in the car, fartfaces.”
“Can you believe this kid had so many manners in there” Ema asked me as we got in “And acts like a jerk out here?”
“Beats me.” I grinned as I started the car.
About a minute later, I honked the horn and shouted “DANG! I missed the turn!”
Ema just started to break out in laughter.
Chapter 3-A Brisk Jog
(Narration of Ema)
I was jogging along the riverside in Tom McCall Waterfront Park. Y’see, I live in a lonely Cyan PDX loft downtown, not too far from Portland State University, as a boarding student from a small town called Lander, Wyoming, escaping without an accent. Okay, so I had never jogged much. Raised Cows? Yep. Fed Chickens and chucked ‘em in the burning pit when they keeled over? Yep. Jogged? Never. Yessiree, ladies and gentlemen, former farm girl Ema Felkis was about to do the extreme.
Equipped with a headband, jogging shorts and an MP3 player NOT equipped with ANY country music WHATSOEVER, as I made it a point to, well, point out, I set off on a local Streetcar to the southern half of the Park, Riverplace, which was right off the streetcar.
I got about a half-mile before I was doubled over, panting and sweating. If only Mom and Dad could see me now, I quipped to myself. I went to turn off my MP3 player, but dropped it on the pavement 3 feet below, jerking the headphones out. It survived, playing out loud.
I breathed a sigh of relief. That was close.
Then, with my luck, someone had to go and step on it. Journey’s voice died into the now worthless piece of plastic.
“Dang it, no!” I yelled aloud, followed by a 360 scope to see who broke it. The one who broke the player swiveled around like a seat in a new Chrysler Town & Country.
“What’s wrong?” he gasped out, still surprised by my outburst.
“Uhm… you broke my friggin’ Mp3 player, that’s what’s wrong!” I said.
The jogger smacked his forehead. A year or two older than me, he had tall jet-black hair and glasses that put Coke-Bottles to shame, resembling 3-D glasses. BIG 3-D glasses.
“Crap!” he muttered. “Sorry about that.” He bent down and scooped it up. Yes, scooped it up. It was that bad. “Man, that thing really is totaled, isn’t it?”
Taking in a deep breath, I replied “Yeah, which is kinda what happens when people step on it.” I sighed and admitted “Anyway, I dropped it, it’s my fault.”
“Yeah, well, anyways, sorry about that.” The jogger offered. “That thing must have cost a fortune.”
“Well,” I nonchalantly replied, “It was only 50 bucks.”
The next thing she knew, the jogger was taking out his wallet. Now if this guy offers to pay me, I will refuse, because it was my fault, of course. What the jogger did, though, was a slight surprise.
“Well, tell ya what.” Said the jogger, handing me a business card. “My group over at Intel around Hillsboro is testing a prototype MP3 player. Since I kinda owe it to you, I can let you test the first official copy. If you likey, you keepy.”
Now, trust me, I couldn’t refuse that. “Thanks!” I said, smiling, as the jogger and I went separate ways.
About 1 hour later, exhausted, I decided to take five for a snack at Cupcake Jones in the Pearl District, the best in the universe. I did NOT do diets. I mean, come on, I’m exercising! While I waited for an angel food topped with chocolate, my favorite (I love the opposing forces of it, it reminds me of my soul), I pulled out that business card and read it.
It said
Intel Department of Testing
5000 NE Butler Rd, Hillsboro, Oregon, 97216
503-555-9712- For More Info, Contact Rob and Rick Stevens
503-555-5321
“Dam of the Dalles!” I muttered to myself, starting on my cupcake and makeshift cursing myself for not getting that person’s name, as it obviously wasn’t Rick Stevens, him being on vacation and Rob Stevens being dead. Sighing, I worked on the cupcake of my soul when my cell rang. Phone, not cage type.
Flipping my Razr open, I said my usual greeting “Ema Felkis, future Portland Oregon Police Officer, how can I help you?”
“It’s Sam Eastman, also future Portland Oregon Police officer. Where are you?” replied Sam Eastman, also future Portland, Oregon Police officer. I can’t help but grin when I get a phone call from… people. Let’s go with that.
“In the Pearl.” I replied.
“Well, we need you at Pen Kelly.” Sam replied. “Mic and Buffy are here, we just need you. We need to make our Runouw.Com memberships.”
“Okay, I will be there in a half-hour, as there are a lot of questions I need to ask you.” I responded, instantly confused beyond belief. “What about Nicolas?”
“What about him? We hardly have anything to charge him on; let’s just wait ‘till we get more proof over the website. All right?”
I smiled, not like he could see it or anything. “All right. See you then.”
“See you then.” Sam replied, ending the call.
I left the rest of my cupcake on the bar, leaving with my head spinning like an overworked merry-go-round from the morning’s events. You see, the only way he could have us make memberships is if the site was open, and he probably did that, being as techno as he is. I just wonder if we are gonna get any repercussions.
Around 11:45 in the morning, right around the time I was due, give or take an hour, I arrived ever-so-un-grandly, looking as if I was beat down. Don’t worry; the only thing that had beaten me down was Holiday Bus Service, as this particular day was Memorial Day. But, hey, who was I going to barbecue with?
Buffy raised her eyebrows. Exhausted, I put up a finger, signalizing “one minute” and took a couple of deep breaths and said in one giant breath frantically, “It’s Memorial Day, so the bus only runs every 35 minutes and I had to walk about 10 blocks to get to it plus I missed plus it was late so It took me a whole…”
Buffy interrupted with a “Breathe out!” and a chuckle. I took a seat and waited for her to speak. “You think you’re the only one with crappy bus service?” Laughing, she added “I was expected nearly an hour ago.”
I sighed, relieved to steer clear of any trouble. I figured that Buffy’s boss had made his exit already.
Sam grinned and motioned for them to come over to his laptop. “Well, with Buffy’s okay, I hacked into Runouw’s account and reopened the site. I posted this notice in the news topic for everyone to see. And, boy was that hard! In doing so, I think I broke everyone’s hearts.” He shook his head and looked down. “My job really sucks sometimes.”
Man, I thought I was emotionally beat from being a police officer. This guy is a fine specimen of “not afraid to show your feelings.” What is it with Sam that intrigues me so?
“Don’t it?” Buffy replied. “Hey, but somebody’s got to do it.”
He nodded and read his own post.
“This is Sam Eastman from the Portland Youth Police Training Department. The Portland Police recently found a dead body by Union Station, and found that it belonged to this Runouw character, Robert Stevens. And believe me, and sorry for breaking the formality, this sucks. Of all the people to pop up dead, it had to be the leader of 3,000 youth of Portland. We are currently working on the case, so if we pop up and visit you, be expecting it.
Sincerely,
Samuel P. Eastman
Buffy gave Sam a comforting pat on the back. “Thanks for taking the fall for us.”
Sam smiled weakly and added “I think we got 30 replies to that, from the more popular members. Our new moderator Avolerators was one of them. What he said was highly interesting. He actually said “This is horrible! But who’s going to run the site? Me, perhaps?” He took a large drink of water from his thermos and waited for a response.
Mic Davis, unusually silent for this long (which really weirded me out), put in, “The guy wanted the whole site? I admit that http://www.runouw.com is crazy in itself, but http://www.avolerators.com? Yeah, real catchy. I can see people trying to pronounce it now.”
“Like Runouw is easy to pronounce.” Buffy quipped. “Is it Run-Ow? Ru-now? Run-oo? Run-Oui? Run-oh? Is it even English?”
Sam couldn’t hold it in, laughing so hard he spit his water out. That caused everyone else to laugh, even Mic, who had regurgitated water spilled all over his shoes. “Gross, dude!” he laughed.
“Charming!” I giggled hysterically.
“Sorry, man, but you definitely know better than to make someone laugh with a mouth full of water!” Sam replied. Clearing his throat, he continued. “Anyway, I thought it would be interesting to go undercover as normal teens and try to get at what’s going on online, so maybe we can actually investigate without ever leaving the library.”
“Library?” I asked. “Why not here?”
“Two reasons.” Sam explained. “One, if I have to deal with piece of crap Wi-Fi one more minute, I WILL throw the computer against the wall. Let’s not test that theory, Two, we need a new computer, because it is actually against the rules to make two accounts on the same computer. Don’t ask me why. Someone actually got kicked off the site for a month for this.”
“Yeesh.” I replied. Harsh.
“There’s a library about a mile’s walk over on Belmont Street. Want to go there?” Sam asked.
Still beat from the long morning, I groaned “Why the walk? I’m beat.”
“I parked my car there.” Sam explained, him having a part-time job there and all. “Would you rather take the bus?”
“God no!” I exclaimed. Pulling out my gum roll, I popped another foot in and said “Let’s go.”
Mic looked at her and said “What is it with you and gum?”
With my mouth full, I replied “I sure do like my Hubba Bubba,” As we walked down Burnside Street.
(Mysteriously Evil Narration)
Director’s Log- May 28th, 2009
“Pitiful Fools,” I spat vehemently from my office chair. Three young adults… and a kid? It would insult me, if it were not so amusing. As if they could stop me. Just because they have a toy badge? I think not.
Having used a computer to hack into a nearby traffic camera, I watched maliciously as my foes walked, almost giddily, down Cesar Chavez Boulevard. Tall oak trees from the next-door Laurelhurst Park started to shade them from my view and then, they were out of sight. But not out of mind, as I knew where they were heading.
I picked up the cell phone of my dead body and started to dial. One rings, two rings, three rings passed, and I was losing patience. After ring 7, I got an answer, but that was the last word of this conversation I was about to let him speak.
“You!” I hissed, not about to yell and get myself caught. “Those twerps are heading to Belmont library! Now, you idiot, if you are able to get my extremely obvious drift, I want you to blow a hole in those plans. I mean, you don’t want to face the consequences of failure, do you?” Before he could stutter a response, I had hung up on him. He’ll do it, of that I am 100% sure.
Suddenly, the door creaked open ever-so-slightly, and not knowing what else to do, I ran. I never said I was a perfect villain. Climbing out a window with my lucky baseball bat in hand, I silently slunk around the corner to the front door and then back in.
A young man was bent over the dead body of my victim, shocked. He swirled around and saw me. Gasping, I ran over to him, baseball bat in hand. His hand grabbed something, flinging it across the room at the exact same time as I hit him. He sunk to the ground, presumably dead.
Panicked, I went to see what he could have thrown, but then I heard sirens. Swearing loudly a couple of times, I sprinted out of the apartment and towards the river. The sirens may not have been for me, but I wasn’t gonna stick around to find out.
Sprinting down Station Way, my path was blocked by a fat Asian man, my landlord. Before he could recognize me, I hit him with the baseball bat, knocking him to the ground, out cold. I always hated that guy.
My next obstacle was a group of train tracks leading to the next-door Union Station. With Trains on them all. No way around these 20-car trains. I swore again, wishing I had gone the other way where there was a pedestrian bridge. Ah, well, got to compromise when the Popo is after you. I started climbing as fast as I could, reaching the top at lightning speed. Not bad.
I ran on top of the trains, severely denting the Silver Tin Can Amtrak I had climbed up. The first of three leaps was simple, as the distance between the trains was about 2 feet. The second was the same, but the third, oh crap. There was a set of empty tracks between them. I swore again, ran along the train and made a sideways leap between the trains. I almost made it, too.
The next scene would find me gripping the side of the freight train as, suddenly, it started to move. I climbed up, started running against the grain in a Southern direction. When I reached the end of the train, I leapt off, doing a couple of dirt rolls upon landing.
I immediately got up, and started running towards the river, weaving in and out of traffic on Naito Parkway. When a Car headed for me, I leapt over it in a single bound. Impressive.
I reached the Riverside trail, got a lighter out and struck it to the wooden bat. It started to burn, to the handle of it which I was holding by the very edge. When it started to reach my hand, I added more flame and swiftly threw it into the Willamette River. A shame. I had gotten that autographed by A-Rod when my brother and I went to a game at Yankee Stadium. But it’s better than a life behind bars.
I sat, depressed, along the pier. I had thrown away pretty much everything. Ah, well, it would all be over soon. For all of us.
End Director’s Log.


