The Runouw Emissary

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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby Zunar » March 28th, 2011, 5:10 am

Thanks. My new story, The Runouwlutionary War, is meant to be a sequel to this, though TRW doesn't really have the whole "Runouw.com members being sucked into a game" thing; it's just my attempt at a Runouw's Forums story.
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby Ridder » April 20th, 2011, 2:57 pm

The more I read it, the less extensive and awesome it was. Each chapter grew shorter and shorter until there was almost no story at all.




Dissapointing, to say the least.



6/10
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby Zunar » April 20th, 2011, 6:22 pm

I know, I know. But I was nearing the end, and I just wanted to finish it. Any ideas that might help improve the story?
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby Ridder » April 20th, 2011, 8:34 pm

Well, I noticed how rushed and short the latter chapters were, and there was barely any dialogue too.
Your first couple of chapters were already great, just edit the last few to be like them.
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THE CREED: Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.
"...That's rather cynical."

"It would be if it were doctrine, but it is merely an observation of the nature of reality.
To say that Nothing is True is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shephards of our own civilization.
To say that Everything is Permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with the consequences, whether glorious...or tragic."
-Ezio Auditore da Firenze explaining the Creed, 1514, Masayaf.
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby MessengerOfDreams » April 20th, 2011, 9:21 pm

Holy ♥♥♥♥.

I never read it, but I opened chapter 1 and chapter 31 and man is there a difference. The last chapters just scream "I DON'T GIVE A ♥♥♥♥." You need to fix that like now, for srs.
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby Avo » April 20th, 2011, 9:27 pm

Don't just throw chapters out that are only 1 paragraph long. Don't rush. It's better to have 1 great, lengthy chapter then 20 short and crappy ones.
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby MessengerOfDreams » April 20th, 2011, 9:33 pm

Avolerators wrote:Don't just throw chapters out that are only 1 paragraph long. Don't rush. It's better to have 1 great, lengthy chapter then 20 short and crappy ones.


Like teh portal. :3
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My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3
Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
"You were always a revolutionary, now there's just less of a chance of you crying in the corner." ~Ridder
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby Zunar » April 21st, 2011, 4:50 am

What if I combine several chapters into one chapter? Would that make it better?

EDIT: I've done that. Tell me what you think.
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby YoshiMario96 » April 23rd, 2011, 11:27 am

WHY AM I NOT A PURPLE YOSHI? =O
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Re: The Runouw Emissary

Postby Zunar » April 23rd, 2011, 2:21 pm

YoshiMario96 wrote:WHY AM I NOT A PURPLE YOSHI? =O

Uh... what? You're not in this story (unless you had a name change that I'm unaware of), and even if you were, Yoshi was already taken by Superyoshi
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