Collapsing Beneath Us

[MessengerOfDreams]

Rain poured out of the sky. An average event, not altogether pleasant, but homeless 16-year old Destroyer1 was used to it. And it didn't stop him from holding his sign and begging for change. He almost had enough.

A passerby, User Representative UsuarioTHf (in suit and all), looked at the scraggly, slightly bearded youth and said "What do you want?", emphasizing all his distaste on the word "you".

Destroyer looked at the man and said "Sir, I've just blown into town and I've not a place to stay, could you spare some change?"

Usu grimaced and said "You noobs on the street are nothing but trouble. Why should I help you?"

"I need to get off the street, don't I?" He replied with a shrug.

Usu rolled his eyes, dug into his pocket and pulled out two quarters. "Whatever. If this is what it takes to keep me out of hell."

Destroyer looked at the man with gratitude and said "Oh thank you!" and added it to his Mason Jar.

"Now shoo on out of here." Usu said, using a sweeping hand motion in Destroyer's direction. "You noobs are lowering the property values."

Destroyer took his change and ran towards Ray Avenue, where his intended destination lay.

He burst into Demonik's Tavern, slammed his change down on the counter and said "Is the night bartender available?"

MessengerOfDreams walked into the room and said "Yes. What will you have?"

[Ridder]

Okay, A Ham, Charlie Echo Bravo, This is Noble Sixtey-Three, I'm about to enter Spoof territory. sending coordinates of the Dark Templar ruins to your map.....now.

Evil porpoises poured from the sky. An average event, not altogether pleasant, but crazy one-eyed homeless 16-year old Destroyer1 was used to it. And it didn't stop him from holding his tree branch and begging for change with a coffee mug. He almost had enough of all these Evil Porpoises trying to kill him.

A passerby, User Representative UsuarioTHf (in monkey suit and all), looked at the scraggly, slightly bearded youth and said "What the f*** do you want? Speak now before I release my INNAR RAEG on you.?", emphasizing all his raeg on the word "RAEG".

Destroyer looked at the man and said "Sir, There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable, and I don't think I have all day to exist, so gimme ma damn change." Destroyer whacks him with the tree branch and shoves the coffee mug in his face.

Usu grimaced,shoving the mug away and said "You heretics on the street are nothing but trouble. Why should I help you?"

"Well, I'm smarter than the oldest person in this city." He replied with a shrug.

Usu rolled his eyes, dug into his pocket and pulled out two cents. "Whatever. If this is what it takes to keep me out of Purgatory."

Destroyer looked at the man with disgust and said "Oh f*** you!" and added the two cents to his mouth.

"Now fly on out of here." Usu said, using a sweeping hand motion in Destroyer's direction. "You noobs are not helping to contain my innar raeg."

Destroyer took his change and ran towards Ravenue, where his intended destination lay.

He burst into Army Registration Office, puked out all his cash, which for no reason adds up to $42, and shouts "Get me Mr. Sulu."

MessengerOfDreams walked into the room and said "Sorry, but I'm too busy punishing my parents by forcing them to listen to nothing but "Like a G6", could you come back later?"

[MessengerOfDreams]

MessengerOfDreams walked into the room and said "Sorry, but I'm too busy punishing my parents by forcing them to listen to nothing but "Like a G6", could you come back later?"

Excuse me as I sig this.

Good spoof.

[MICrophone]

"Sir, There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable, and I don't think I have all day to exist, so gimme ma damn change." Destroyer whacks him with the tree branch and shoves the coffee mug in his face.

OBJECTION!

Er, so yeah, good story MOY, though I fear that it will take a very liberal standpoint on the issue as is characteristic of your views on the issue and therefore I may be forced to write a counter-story taking the other side of the issue. Mebbe. As it is I'm toying with the idea of starting a third story (oh teh noes!), so four would be really stretching it. We'll see. And your spoof was very good in typical fashion Ridder.

[MessengerOfDreams]

Destroyer looked at MoD, whose eyes were baggy from another sleepless night. "Jesus, MoD, do you ever sleep?" he asked.

MoD shook his head as he handed Destroyer a large mug of Root Beer. "Haven't slept a wink in nearly a year now. I've learned to survive without it."

Destroyer pointed to his eyes, which held more bags than a supermarket. "Doesn't look like it."

"Well, I have too much work to do." MoD snapped.

"Hey, cool man. No need to get all worked up." Destroyer said. "I understand."

"Do you?" MoD said, intimidating Destroyer to the point where he grabbed onto his barstool tightly. "Do you have even the slightest sense of what it's like to live here?"

"I-I-I don't know..." Destroyer stuttered. "I've only been here for 3 weeks."

"And in these 3 weeks you have stayed close to this Tavern, living on the streets, is this right?"

Destroyer nodded, daring to take a sip out of his root beer.

"And this is in part due to the fact that you spend all of your money on your rather humorous addiction to root beer, isn't it?"

"Maybe..." Destroyer said.

In a swift motion, MoD Took Destroyer's root beer from under his grasp, lifted it up and threw the pitcher against the wall, where it all spilled out and the pitcher of glass broke into pieces. "Then STOP drinking the damn stuff!"

Destroyer looked at the wall, the dislodged Dart Board and the broken pitcher pieces. "Isn't... isn't Demonik gonna be mad about that?"

"Demonik?" MoD chuckled. "He's never here. He did the smart thing and skipped town. I practically own this damn place."

Destroyer's eyes bugged and he dared to ask "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm Bi-Polar, you foolish young man." MoD chuckled again. "But that's not all that's wrong with me. Let me tell you what else is wrong with me." Without warning, MoD leaned up to Destroyer and whispered quietly,

"I moved here."

Leaning out, he continued. "When I first arrived here, it was because Runouw IV was a technical genius as well as a great leader. An Inspiration. He put years of effort into one project, his virtual game. This was not any virtual game, this was a masterpiece. You could roam entire worlds inside one large building, and it was magical. You were Mario. You didn't just play as him, you were a hero. Best yet, you could create your own virtual worlds.

"But lately, popular demand for the game died out, and people were left with little to do, and some of them started leaving. Runouw was desperate. He left his right hand men Superyoshi and Demonik in charge, who in turn hired Fourinone to lead with them, and he went into intensive work on his next virtual game, promised to be even bigger and better than before. No one has heard for him in a year.

"Essentially, what use did occur of Runouw's last virtual game was punished by hackers who tried to abuse the game. They made horrific worlds that entrapped other people in Virtual Reality. To stop them, Game Officers were hired.

This is how Blablob and I got our start."

[UsuarioTHf]

Uhm...Um...

..Thanks for flaming me, I guess...

[nin10mode]

I liek. Though its a bit too true for comfort. o_O