Twin Realities

[MessengerOfDreams]

Here's a better story.

You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter. How can it not matter to you where the train will take you?

[The Masked One]

Chapter 2
When Krackta woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was a fog in his room. Then he realised he had forgotten to close the window last night. He went down, had breakfast, and again, went off to school.
All the way to the school he was lost in the fog, unable to see more than 10 Meters. The fog stayed there all day, occasionally cutting the power. At the end of the day, while he was heading home, he stopped by the new building. A little taller than yesterday, but the fog seemed to react to it somehow. He ignored this, and headed home.
When he got home, however, there wasnt much to come home to. His entire house had been trashed, books on the floor, bacon on the roof, everything everywhere. He ran around the house, looking for the rest of his family, but couldn't find them. No blood, no bodies, nothing. The house was damaged very seriously, some walls had even been knocked down. He gathered up his stuff and anything he would need, and thought about what he would do next. There was no police station, but there was a detective in town. He raced off to ask for help from the detective.
What he failed to notice, however, was the large footprint out the back of his house, and that the wall in his bedroom had faded slightly.

[The Masked One]

Here's a story.

You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter. How can it not matter to you where the train will take you? Its because your reading this story.

Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh.

[Ridder]

There is no sense of suspense, The chapter is literally two paragraphs, and it looks and reads very rushed and incomplete.


And Chapter 3? You didn't even do a chapter 1 or 2 yet.




2/10.

At least i have a story, your thing about dark or w/e her name is was just a Bio, not a story.
And its mah first story, at least give me a few points for trying.

Hey! look at that! You consider a topic in GENERAL ARTWORK a story!
And you even got me mistaken for Nero the Demonslayer! Great!

And if it's your first story, what are you doing just throwing it out here? Did you make planning before just writing it up and posting it in this section?

Oh, and the 2/10 WAS points for trying.

[The Masked One]

There is no sense of suspense, The chapter is literally two paragraphs, and it looks and reads very rushed and incomplete.
And Chapter 3? You didn't even do a chapter 1 or 2 yet.

2/10.

At least i have a story, your thing about dark or w/e her name is was just a Bio, not a story.
And its mah first story, at least give me a few points for trying.

Hey! look at that! You consider a topic in GENERAL ARTWORK a story!
And you even got me mistaken for Nero the Demonslayer! Great!

And if it's your first story, what are you doing just throwing it out here? Did you make planning before just writing it up and posting it in this section?

Oh, and the 2/10 WAS points for trying.

oh come on! I'm sorry for mistaking you, i just said itWasn't a story, and I'm only doing it when I'm bored. P.s, school ruins creativity, this is all I got while I'm making

game: show

Mario Bros CES

. Yay @ triple quote line.

[Ridder]

oh come on! I'm sorry for mistaking you, i just said itWasn't a story, and I'm only doing it when I'm bored. P.s, school ruins creativity, this is all I got while I'm making

game: show

Mario Bros CES

. Yay @ triple quote line.

If it's not in the stories section, chances are, it's not supposed to be a story.
If you're doing this when you're bored, you may need to rethink some things, then.
And school does not ruin creativity. Usually, creativity is based on how hard you think about something, which may or may not consume a lot of time, If you're busy making something else, leave storywriting for later, for when you have more time.

[The Masked One]

oh come on! I'm sorry for mistaking you, i just said itWasn't a story, and I'm only doing it when I'm bored. P.s, school ruins creativity, this is all I got while I'm making

game: show

Mario Bros CES

. Yay @ triple quote line.

If it's not in the stories section, chances are, it's not supposed to be a story.
If you're doing this when you're bored, you may need to rethink some things, then.
And school does not ruin creativity. Usually, creativity is based on how hard you think about something, which may or may not consume a lot of time, If you're busy making something else, leave storywriting for later, for when you have more time.

1. I was given a direct link.
2. Ok, thanks for the tip, but no promises i will stop.
3. Actually, its been scientifically prooven that schools do ruin creativity. I mean, how many activities are there in school where you get to Choose what you want to do?
4. Wanna try my game when its done?
5. How did this become a chat topic O-o

[The Masked One]

Delayed until i say.
Please leave tips and stuff on how to improve the story.

__________
| GONE |
| CODING |
---------------

[UsuarioTHf]

Derp. Ridder's actually right. This story's so short and bad-elaborated that it doesn't deserve to be a story.
Two paragraphs slapped together don't make a Chapter. Plus, the darkness/light theme is so cliché I don't want to talk about it.
If you're doing this when you're bored, derp, then you basically have no time to do the story. Being lazy is one thing, working on it when bored is another.

Plus, if school blocks your creativity, then you have no creativity. When I actually worked it my Pokémon SoulSilver story (which I'm too lazy to continue) creativity came to me when at school.

You don't choose what to do on it, but you do end early and spend the rest of the class thinking what to do.



...But yeah, me givez the story a 3/10.

[The Masked One]

Alright alright i get it >_<
The real reason i started writing this is because its how i feel at this point in time. I dont know whether im good or bad or what. Of matter of fact, it would be a lot more helpful to me if there where two worlds like this. But guess what, there isnt! So i am struggling through life trying to work out what side i am going to be on, and no i cant blend them together, its one or the other and i cant choose between them!

And i have decided to terminate this

Story / Bio / Writing / Bad Story / Crappy half-chapter

thing until further notice, so stop commenting on it!