Demi-God: The Story of Ryu ΩChapter 9 is out!Ω

[Ridder]

Plot and Character Development:Moving Slowly but Steadily.
Action:Plenty of it.
Surprises:a little bit.

It's a Dark Story.


9/10

[MICrophone]

Chapter 3: Things are getting a little muddled here. I believe that you're jumping from character to character to quickly…I feel like you need a better transition between the events between the characters. But, the story is still excellent, and that final line was just brutally epic. Keep going!

[fourinone]

Wow, this story is great! o_O

This story reminded me quite a bit of the ancient Greek myths, in which the gods often disagreed with each other and picked sides in war. Was this story by any chance influenced by the Iliad or something similar? : D

The strongest aspect of your story, I would say, is the diverse cast of characters. Each character has his/her own distinguished personality, and his own set of morals. The character development is very good. As darklegacy said, the pictures certainly help a lot, too!

Contrary to what mic said, I actually thought you made the transitions pretty well. There's this literary technique (I don't quite know what it's called...) where, under an overarching plot, you tell multiple stories side by side, each from the perspective of a different character, and jump back and forth between the plots every now and then, often leaving one story in a cliffhanger as you continue another. I thought you pulled that off really well.

Well, chau, you have talent! : D I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapters!

[Chaukai]

Oh wow! Thank you! XD Well, for the Gods, I don't know that much about Greek Mythology, but yes, if you ask about the gods, I was trying to err it on the greekish sides. I actually usually don't write my stories like this, but there was this one book I read called the Ranger's Apprentice and I really liked how the guy wrote his story, so I was trying to imitate his style in a sense. Thank you for the review! X) I haven't written any stories just for fun for a while, so I was a bit fearful that I was a bit rusty. x.x

[MICrophone]

Chapter 4 is quite good…things flowed much better and it was well-written. But, a question.

Ro looked at Ryu, and then suddenly, a huge explosion shook the ground.

Am I missing something here? Who is Ro?

[Chaukai]

Oops, sorry x.x That was going to be the original name for Azaezer. I'll fix it.

[MICrophone]

Found another.

Ryu looked up at Ro with a start.

[Chaukai]

So anyways, I just posted Chapter 5, and yes, if you see, the title says "WEIRD." I really don't know why I wrote this chapter the way I did, o.o but, I trust what my fingers do. So CHAPTER 5: SILENCE! Enjoy!

[MICrophone]

Nice, but I warn you, you need to retain a focus. It is great that you are layering a whole bunch of complex ideas into this story, but don't forget that it needs a strong backbone to keep it all together, and this story is drifting away from that. But other than that, great!

[Chaukai]

Okay okay, Microphone, I see what you were saying. When I was writing chapter 5, I noticed something wrong, but I could never tell. Alrighty, well chapter 6 is out! So, It's all good!