The Mighty Chen: Bravest Knight

[Ridder]

A/N BRO, THIS IS A ONESHOT THING MEANT TO AWAKEN MY WRITING POWERS.


REMEMBER, I OWN YOU AT COD, REGRET MY LIFE, AND LET THEM FOR.........G.....G........urm.........something. I don't know, or really remember for that matter.

Upon, a dark, hazy, and collapsing realm, a dark, and evil wormhole hangs high in the sky above the fair lands of Camilnaught, in the center of which, a dark castle hovers, with a patch of broken and craggy land hangs underneath.

A knight in shining, silver armor, busts open two great doors which stood in his way, after the grueling demons and pesky castle layout he had to endure through, such frivolous things would not stand in his way.

The throne room was particularly menacing, a storm raged outside the tall, glassless windows, the trophy head of a mighty minotaur lay above, it's eyes seemingly following Chen, and a blood red carpet which led all the way down to the throne itself, along with the number of dead, lifeless bodies strewn about. The corpse of King Lei-Tien lay dead on his throne, a bloodied black sword sprouting from a red blot in the center of his royal armor. A tall dark figure stood, wrapped in dark purple robes, facing away from Chen, raising his hands up in to the air, where a great black orb floated, high in the air.

"Halt, Evil Wizard Je-Lau! Your plot to scorch the Earth and rebuild it in your image shall go no further! " Chen, the mighty and handsome knight proclaims with courage against his Archnemisis. The wizard slowly turned around, revealing an old man, many years of his life shown evident by the numerous wrinkles on his face.

"Ah......Chen Xunci, Knight of the Mighty Vertex-less Table, You cannot stop the even that shall unfold upon the world. I have already begun materialization of an Atmospheric Detonator. Soon, Fire shall rain from the sky, and man shall burn under my flames. " The evil wizard monologues.

Brave Knight Chen gasps, and squints furiously. "I SHALL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!" Just then, Chen unleashes a mighty barrage of daggers, arrows, and other ranged weaponry enhanced with a magical blue aura, the very same, trusty weaponry that had allowed Chen to defeat his enemies with great ease.

"Fool!" Je-Lau's right hand glows a dark, purplish aura before he swings his arm in a motion as if he were catching all the weapons, and sure enough, the weapons pause in mid-air and the aura that surrounds the weapons slowly changes from a bright blue to the same dark, purplish and absolutely eeeeeeeevile aura that Je-Lau possesses, indicating that Je-Lau's magic far surpasses that of the simple enchantments Chen's Grandmother endowed upon his weapons.

"If you think you can defeat me so easily with pathetic physical weaponry such as this, then you are much more of an idiot than I first realized!" The Evil Wizard cackled as he swatted his hand. The weapons upon which Chen trusted so much suddenly turned on him and flew in his direction. Chen narrowly avoided many of his trusted weapons, but as soon as he assumed that he was safe........

THWACK.

He felt the crushing force of the ball and chain smack right across his cheek, the very same force which would crush the face of a rock golem to pieces. Chen endured the immense pain that followed, but he was thrown against the wall from the force of the smack. Chen slumped on the wall. His vision began to faze, the world was spinning, his ears ringing. His mind in a daze, he felt his consciousness slowly slipping.

"No! Please, Chen, don't die!" A cry for help rings in Chen's head, which had slowly brung him back. He felt the need and helplessness in the voice. No.......No.......I......I.can't.....fail...........I mustn't........I will not. The valiant knight felt a wave of courage and persistence swell within himself, his fingers twitched at every move he made as he got off the ground, a blistering pain grew harder to bear the more he wanted to prevail. The more he defied his death.

"A man in his twenties, with the appearance of an old man, but the stubbornness of a young one." The evil wizard mused. His hands once again grew a devilish aura about them, and with a slow rise of his hands.... "Arise, my minions, arise, and eliminate the obstacle that stands in your way!" Slowly, but surely, the corpses that had lain about the throne room floor rose unnaturally. Servants, missing limbs, fallen knights, huge chunks ripped out of their armor, and even the defiled body of King Lei-Tien gathered around Chen. Formerly his allies, they now stood in his way, preventing him from getting to Je-Lau.

Chen pulled himself together, bloodied and battered, but not yet defeated. He looked up to the source of the voice, and sure enough, high in the air, tall cage of black steel, harboring within it, the lone survivor of the overthrown castle. Princess Norine.
"Do not fret, princess, for I am here! Sir Chen will slay the hordes and rescue you!" And, as if the words themselves empowered him, Knight Chen regained his vigorous spirit and once again attempted to save the world.

"Have at you, vile spirits!" Chen valiantly cried out. The walking skeletons rushed him and clawed at him, but he deftly avoided their blows. and with a swift strike to each and every monster, the risen spirits fell, one by one. Certainly no match for Chen's furious skills. At this point, Je-Lau merely laughed. "Perhaps you are strong against your withered friends, but how do you plan to deal.........with this!?" Just as Chen finished off King Lei-Tien, Je-Lau pointed two fingers in the air, and right above it, a huge orb of dark, electric, devastating destruction hung in the air.

"You shall fall just like the rest!"

Je Lau swung the orb into Chen's direction, and the orb slowly consumed everything in it's path. An atmosphere of despair slowly fell upon the room. It appeared as though the situation was hopeless. Chen would die here, and the rest of the world he knew would soon follow.

Then, quite suddenly, the knight felt the bracelet on his right wrist emanate a golden glow. A wave of calmness soared through his veins, until it reached a point of clarity, where Chen knew what he had to do.
"Goddess............give me strength." Chen prayed. He looked up at the ball of destruction heading his way, but instead of running away in fear, the brave knight picked up his trusty sword, and with courage in his chest, charged at the orb.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________





"So, what happened then?" A young boy in his imaginary knight's armor, excitedly asked his old father.
"Then," the father continued, "Sir Chen, the brave and mighty knight, swung, as hard as he could.against the orb, and with the power of the goddess empowering him, he deflected the orb back at the Evil Wizard Je-Lau. The orb was touched with the power of the Goddess, so the orb consumed Je-Lau........ and the great evil that he was vaporized into thin air! With no Evil Wizard to complete the Atmospheric Detonator, the Detonator faded into non-existence! The world was saved, and the princess was forever grateful to the brilliant knight. "
"Hooray!" The boy gleefully jumped for joy, his spirit full of happiness.
"Heh, that's enough of that, Jin. Time you got some sleep." the father ruffles Jin's hair, and tucks him in bed.
"Alright dad." Jin yawned.
Jin's father got up from the bedside chair, and walked towards the doorway.
"You're the greatest hero ever, dad." Jin said before he fell into a deep sleep.
Chen paused for a bit, and then smiled. "Yeah." He slowly pulled the door forward, and before completely closing the door, he whispered "Good night, Jin."

____________________________________________________________________________________


Chen enjoyed a nice cup of lukewarm coffee in the living room. All was quiet. save for the gentle pats of the rain on the window.
"Told him the same story again, huh?" A voice called. A middle-aged woman sat down right next to Chen. She looked like an ordinary housewife, and that was what she was. She sat down next to Chen on the couch. "He really loves that story. The days when I was the knight in shining armor that would save the princess and prevent worldly destruction." Chen laughed silently. "Then the princess would usually have to become the new Queen and have to deal with all the royal duties of one." He sighed.
"But instead of becoming her King, you continued traveling, and eventually settled down with a person you fell deeply in love with."
"Sometimes I can hardly believe someone like me fell for a village girl."
His wife gave him a look as if to tell him "I hope you're joking."
Chen chuckled, "It's alright, though."
He took a sip of his coffee, and looked at his wife.
"Truth be told, I kinda wanted to stop adventuring and settle down. All that adventuring was great, it really was, but being here, with you, is better. I feel comfortable not having to risk my life every waking second to stop a madman from god knows what plan he has up in his head. "
She smiled, and hugged him.

"You may not be a magnificent warrior anymore, but you're still my knight, Chen."
Chen grasped her tightly and smiled. "I love you, with all my heart too, Sarah."
_________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N Pardon my abrupt ending- I feel as if I'm done with this piece.
I know this came out of almost nowhere, but I really wanted to write a long-term story, but couldn't. I felt that writing a oneshot out of the blue would be best.

Either way, this was The Mighty Chen: Bravest Knight. I hope you enjoyed, as always, as that is what I aim for.

Ridder

[Venexis]

Ok, so review time.

At first I thought this was a spoof of MoD's "The Princess is Dead," because you seem to have quite the collection of spoofs, and the intro was a twisted version of his mission statement. So naturally, I was expecting a comedy piece, and the first bit didn't let me down. But then it got serious, and that was a plot twist. Not a bad one, you're good at serious pieces too.

However, the grammar was awkward in places, mostly between the transitions from present tense to past. It does sound like someone storytelling, natural speech and stuff like that, but it's a little hard to follow in text form. Perhaps choosing one over the other would make it easier, but I think that's more personal preference than anything else.

Apart from that, very nice story. A part of me wishes that you had kept up the tiny bits of humour throughout, but it's still a great piece- one I'd like to see expanded someday if you're ever strapped for something to do. So... I'm terrible at rating stories... I'ma go with 8.5/10

[RedLink]

So... I'm terrible at rating stories... I'ma go with 8.5/10


..................So all those times you reviewed my stories were because you suck at reviewing? ;-;...........................

Review- Well Ridder this is the first story i have read of yours and I must say it is swell. I enjoyed the details and the actions and speech of the Knight. Yet at some parts i felt the story was way to random. 1. The princess calling out. Wtf o.o 2. How did the Knight enter the castle if it was floating? 3. Who was that Wizard and the Knight? 4. The way the Knight killed the Wizard was just way to obvious but not bad.
It was really short but great. Oh and the Goddess thing o.o I feel like this Story deserved like a prologue or Intro. But whatevs... It was a one shot and it was a great one. : D My Review............For YOU............IS.........................................................................8.55/10

Take THAT Ven

[Ridder]

So... I'm terrible at rating stories... I'ma go with 8.5/10


..................So all those times you reviewed my stories were because you suck at reviewing? ;-;...........................

Review- Well Ridder this is the first story i have read of yours and I must say it is swell. I enjoyed the details and the actions and speech of the Knight. Yet at some parts i felt the story was way to random. 1. The princess calling out. Wtf o.o 2. How did the Knight enter the castle if it was floating? 3. Who was that Wizard and the Knight? 4. The way the Knight killed the Wizard was just way to obvious but not bad.
It was really short but great. Oh and the Goddess thing o.o I feel like this Story deserved like a prologue or Intro. But whatevs... It was a one shot and it was a great one. : D My Review............For YOU............IS.........................................................................8.55/10

Take THAT Ven

1. Well, I remember this one time in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, when you fought Dracula at the start of the game, he turns into a beastly monstrosity that can insta-kill you, and he turns the background into a swirling vortex. If your HP does go down to 0, however, a random girl will just walk down, kneel in sadness, and you'll somehow be revived. I was like "wtf?" but I decided to roll with it.
2. He rode on Rainbow Dash. .................Or perhaps he was already in the castle when it was suddenly taken from the earth?

3. This story was heavily based off Ghosts N' Goblins.

4. I was planning to make the main character use magic to unleash a gigantic dragon that made the air around it explode into fiery bits, but decided against it.


Thanks for the reviews, guys. : D

[Ridder]

I WOULD ALSO LIKE A REVIEW FROM YOU GENERAL PEOPLE.



THAT IS ALL.

[Blablob]

YOU CALLED FOR THE GENERAL FOLKS?
HEER I AM.

Sou.


This was a pretty good story, Ridder. As Ven pointed out, some of the grammar can sound a little awkward, which I won't disagree with, though I didn't find it to be a major issue while I was reading your story. I've never played Ghosts N' Goblins, so I can't make any real comparisons there, but from I read here I'm going to assume you've done good justice to the story, because it's actually very well written for the most part. Sure the ending was a bit abrupt, but I actually liked it a lot. I find it a bit wierd how you switched between the action and the story-telling so suddenly, but whatever. Nothing really seems incomplete; it's just a bit short.

Spontaneous and sudden, but wasum nonetheless. Awaken your writing powers, and use them for good or bad, either will do. New Marais is all yours.

[MessengerOfDreams]

Teehee mocking me in the disclaimer/AN. xD

Well, what to say? I love how you narrated what would normally be a corny anime scene and gave it a mostly serious feel like you were taking it seriously. There were some parts where you mocked it, parts I didn't like as much because it took the feel from the story. But I loved how you wrote it most of all.

"Do not fret, princess, for I am here! Sir Chen will slay the hordes and rescue you!" And, as if the words themselves empowered him, Knight Chen regained his vigorous spirit and once again attempted to save the world.

My favorite line right there.

And finding out what the story was is a nice, heartwarming twist. I didn't see it coming but it didn't bowl me over, and it really was a great idea. The dialogue between the couple was sweet, and the decisions Chen made and the sort of epilogue to his adventures was a very neat one.

There are some problems. As stated before, draw the line between parody and seriousness. Also, a few grammatical errors, mostly related to the its/it's homophones. Other than that, a nice, clever story that has your classic writing touch.

8.75/10

[Chaukai]

I don't see this as a parody at all. I think the fact that the names such as Camilnaught and the Knight of the Vertex-less Table actually gave the sort of allusion in order to signify the heroic traits that Chen and this story possessed. It gave this man a truly powerful position that made him the "Bravest Knight" by comparing him with that of the Arthurian sagas. But I do see that as a sort of setting the standards too high. Giving Chen this sort of title really make him need to live up to this expectation, one of the bravest knight ever. And for that, I don't see the a brave and brilliant knight. All I see are a bunch of flashes and god-given powers that defeat a surprisingly generic antagonist.

So let's go a bit backwards and talk about the Brave Knight. What defines a Knight? Chivalry. Obviously. Honor. Virtues. Protection. Loyalty.

Now let's turn to Chen.
Alright, Honor, Virtues, he has them. Awesome.

Protection, okay, that's there with the princess. A bit late, but it's there.

Loyalty. That's one thing that is bothering me about Chen. The fact that he seemingly cut down his former, ally, King, whatever the relationship suggests, with great ease bothered me deeply. Of course there may be no other path, but I see Chen as someone who needs to have a bit more emotion instilled within him, especially on parts such as this.

So putting everything together, Chen becomes this sort of character that is supposed to be the embodiment of a brave knight. I see it there, the courage and strength, but has it hit home? I believe, no. It could have been pushed a bit further. It's a very nice story, and the ending was heartwarming, but maybe it's because it was so short, and the ending was so abrupt, but I see this as a piece that, with a little more push, could become a very powerful story.