When two factions collide
Chapter I
Another headshot. Wooh.
Here I am, year 2024. Mankind of all races has gone through massive technology boosts for the last few 12 years, in my teenage years. Now, being a young adult at age 26, here I am. Armed with a Light Machine Gun and at the rank of an U.S.A. Corporal gunner class, in a war between future-tech America and future-tech Germany. Lately the U.S. politicians have been getting worse and worse throughout the years. More greed over brains and logic, and just wanting to be in the position so they can have a giant salary and such. The worst thing is that they always, ALWAYS have the military on their sides. It’s been bugging me like that how the military even agrees to that.
I always wondered how people were so stupid to not overthrow a bad president or something. In case if you’re wondering, it all started after Barack Obama’s second term. The idiot Newt Gingrich ended up being a fraud. Sadly, others followed his example. Or rather, Newt Gingrich and everyone else followed George W.H. Bush’s example. They didn’t just cheat the system; they did nothing during their term.
A little bit about myself, though. I seem to have had an interest in logic, strategy, and smartness, and so I ended up like that. It helped me too. For now, though, let me sum up what has happened over the past 12 years.
Year 2012 was one of my best years. I betted a Mayan scientist 100 dollars that the world would not end on Dec. 21st, 2012. I obviously won the bet and it was too late for him to realize his mistake.
Year 2014 World War III broke out between all countries this time except for Antarctica. Technology during that war increased so rapidly at that time. U.S.A. won and got all the other nations it owns debt to completely disregard the debt. Basically, we’re free of debt, but ended up getting ourselves back into debt when the President needed more funds for the Obama healthcare (which I never really understood. Sure, the healthcare was supposed to decrease medical care values, but it just increased the taxes as well on our population. And Obama forced us to buy it, making it completely unconstitutional).
Year 2016 was the turning point. People ended up getting very interested in technology as it increased, and by the end of the year, they managed to build a massive space colony ship, named after the founder of the idea of the atom, Demetrius.
At the end of the year 2016 Lay’s potato chip company went bankrupt due to tough competition and stupid choices in their ingredients.
Year 2017, the U.S.A. colony ship Demetrius and improved army soon settled on various planets on a new solar system, with various habitable planets. The U.S.A. standard army really only improved to the point in which they don’t amass themselves and run directly into enemy lines with the enemy shooting at them from afar, massacring them one by one, or rather, one hundred by one hundred. They now have tactics and squads who do not go charging directly into enemy fire. Hooray, like we could’ve thought about that much earlier in WWIII and other wars that the U.S. has fought in.
Oh yeah, in this year we also noticed Germany launched their own space colony ship named something related to fuel. Well, Germany has been, by far, the most fuel-reserved country in Earth, so it’s no surprise that they have good enough funds left over and a decent force to go with it militaristic wise. However, ever since then, we heard no news from them… for now.
Year 2018, hedgehogs go extinct. That’s sad. But most people never paid attention to them anyway.
Year 2019, some scientist guy working in the Life Science department has developed a synthetic but fresh meat that has all the natural proteins and stuff by recreating and duplicating the proteins and DNA from cows, lamb, and other animals that were left behind on Earth. Sadly, tests shown the animals themselves could not be brought with us on the space colony ship Demetrius due to taking up WAY too much oxygen and they can’t digest synthetic hay. So this was pretty big for the people on there.
We also established our first colony on the inhabited planet Xyath. It reminded us of our original home.
Year 2021, it wasn’t long until Xyath was populated. Oh, and it appears Germany was also residing on planets in the same solar system. Neat, since we were doing the same. We discovered two more planets that seemed inhabitable in which we, or at least the head of the Astronomy department named, Ytheridoslagh and Moo. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “Moo? Seriously??” Well, none of the other scientists could come up with a better name, and it is, amazingly, the best area for cows to live.
Year 2022-24, German and us Americans get in a dispute over a planet. The current president, President Ducan, claims that we got there one billionth of a second before they did, which Germany obviously thought was bulls***. Yeah, they bombed us intentionally. It was a bummer for the people who were in the blast radius.
This, unfortunately, sparked a war. Yes, I am American.
I got another headshot. Wooh. German infantry forces were currently attacking our outpost on the planet we were fighting over. Battles have been taking place on other planets too for the last 2 years, neither side having an advantage. I kept on firing my Beckler R098SLMG in short bursts. Another headshot. Wow, I must be lucky today.
After a grueling 2 days, enemy foot soldiers finally retreated. Finally. I felt like that army was relentless. It was a little tough too, living off frugal rations of synthetic beef and vegetables. At least they were close to the same thing.
But, here’s how I got in the military in the first place. President Ducan was drafting recruits to the military, and those he picked could not refuse. Unfortunately, I just so happened to be picked along with my cousin, Quinn.
Chapter II
I was in my bunker on the planet with the very confusing name that started with a ‘y’ (Ytheridoslagh) with some of my other squad members, and my cousin Quinn, who was also part of the military and is in the same squad with me. We both know each other very well, and we can consider each other great friends. He is younger than me by roughly 1.5 years, and is a tiny bit shorter than me, but he is a bit stronger.
As we were eating some synthetic biscuits, the head general, General Fidiot came in the bunker. He stared at some of us for a second, and then spoke,
“The German army is attacking our outpost north of here. I say that we go send our soldiers to confront them. What do you say? After all, they already stole some documents from one of our technology centers.”
I objected. That was a terrible idea. I thought they were done with the sending mobs of infantry in front of enemy lines. The thing is, I actually do kinda hate this guy, because he is very hard headed in his decision. I wanted to chop his arm off so bad and maybe his fat mouth.
Unfortunately, despite my reasoning, he still ignored me and started nagging me on going against his ideas. He even threatened to fire me from the military, maybe even treat me as an outcast. The problem was, though, he is also the President’s pet, meaning that he always convinced him to be on his side. Not long after 30 minutes was I kicked off the military. My cousin tagged along, however, as he was on my side.
Throughout the time we dragged along as nomads on the planet. We had to survive on our own, making use out of the vegetation and other things on the planet. Eventually we got used to it, and just when we thought things couldn’t get worse…
A squad of German infantry spotted us as we were dragging ourselves along the terrain. They took us in via handcuffs and some bruises on our heads (especially mine). The German outpost didn’t look much too different from the standard American one, besides having new guns, food, people, etc. Someone who seemed like the German Leader stepped up to us.
“Was machst du denn hier?” (Translation: “What are you doing here?”)
The only reason I managed to fit in the translation was because he had a translator that showed mini sub-titles, similar to those that you see in the movies when they use different languages for some scenes.
“Umm…” I stood there, silent.
“SPEAK!” He said.
Quinn spoke instead. “We were here because we were kicked out of the American military due to some complaints from one of our idiot generals.”
The general stood there, silent. He then picked up a German badge that I didn’t really know what it stood for. He then said,
“Ich sag dir was. Ich werde ein Geschäft mit Ihnen machen. Statt eines Prisoner of War, können Sie sich unsere militärischen und nehmen Sie die USA und ihre Armee. Was sagen Sie dazu?” (Translation: “I'll tell you what. I'll make a deal with you. Instead of being a Prisoner of War, you can join our military and take down the U.S.A. and their army. What do you say?”)
I had no expectations for this, neither did my cousin. We both stood there, a little shocked. After we exchanged glances, we really had no choice unless if we wanted to be in a jail cell.
“Ok.” I said. “Sure, we’ll join your army.”
“EXCELLENT!” He said, and did a little dance. After he was done, he brought us into the pistol room. I knew exactly what he had us in mind for. Pistol training.
These pistols were laser versions of the Luger P32 pistol, which were improved variants of the Luger P08 pistol. The 9x19 parabellum was kept, as well as it’s barrel size and semi-automatic function, but its weight had slightly increased ever since I last held one a few years ago. Also, since it was laser, it had no recoil, making it easy to use and devastating as well. Those lasers were pretty powerful melting straight through targets. I felt like this was turning into Star Wars era, German edition.
These laser pistols were especially comfortable for Quinn. He shot targets here and there with ease, destroying one after another accurately. After we were done, we went back to the general and he accepted us as part of the military. He also gave us comfortable military costumes. I wanted to spray-paint mine green, but he wouldn’t let me.
A few days later, our squad and us got into a chopper to put one of the U.S.A. resource centers under siege. However, before we get to siege, we have to take down outside opposition. I ended up taking the roll of the first-strike Assault/Scout Class, while Quinn got grenades, charges, other various explosives, and an Assault Rifle. This was going to be fun, I just knew it.
Chapter III
We landed 10 miles away from the American Resource Center. Our squad immediately got a move out, but I was feeling sleepy at first. While Quinn jumped out of the chopper with his teammates, I was kicked in the rear out the chopper door. It didn’t hurt as much as the time when I accidentally sat on a sowing needle that somehow managed to stay straight up, though.
We immediately rushed into preparations for assaulting the outside forces, which were settled on top of a slightly smooth hill, now only being 150 yards away from them. I locked and loaded my SMG, while Quinn turned off the safety on his Grenade Launcher and got his Assault Rifle ready. All my other squad members did the same. And just when we were about to strike, however… we get a lovely greeting from the Americans. Mortar rain makes a giant crater 10 feet away from us, nearly smashing us into oblivion. I think I even heard one of the mortar crew curse non-stop loudly. Which, sadly for them, gave us our cue. We rushed up to them from the side and fired directly on them. Sure enough, that did startle them and we got return fire.
I think a little bit of my hair flew up from one of the bullets that nearly hit me in my head, but I wasn’t fazed. Quinn shot his grenade launcher and it knocked hard against one guy before exploding right on top of another and sending him down the hill. Lucky shot for him, but it was only a matter of time someone from the side tried using a melee attack on me using the butt of his rifle. One of my teammates shot him down, and I think my uniform got a little bit messy. How DARE they get my uniform messy and red like the color of strawberry jelly!
That’s when I got out my SMG and fired the heck out of it, spraying tons of bullets in their faces. At least some of the bullets hit, with one of the victims getting an unfortunate fate when the bullet met his crotch. I laughed maniacally in an evil way until Quinn told me to cut it out after they all died.
Next, we decided to use the remaining mortars to our advantage on another mortar crew. I scouted out ahead and gave radio co-ordinates to the members manning the mortar. As I head back to regroup, though, American reinforcements met up with me, blocking me from my squad. One of the bullets from their fire lightly scratched my hand, but took the radio full on instead of my hand. I was completely disconnected from my team now, and eventually, despite the fact that I got quite a few kills with my SMG, they eventually surrounded me into a checkmate. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. I wondered what my squad was thinking, as they took me as a Prisoner of War.
A few hours of uncomfortable handcuffs and Americans shoving/elbowing me from all sides, I ended up in front of General Fidiot. Oh, gee, how wonderful was it to see him at this time, this position.
He started off with a sneer, and then gave instructions for the people keeping me down on my knees in front of him to take me to the POW cells. And I have to say this; the least they could do was make the place a little bit cleaner for their unfortunate POWs. Or maybe they intended it to be that way, I really don’t know.
A few days past buy, with little/no food and water every day. I was becoming weaker by the moment as the days went on. However, after a week, two officers came in front of my cell.
“Hey.” The first one said. “You’re free to go.”
I gave them a completely confused look. Are they joking??
“… Ahaha! Nah, fat chance.”
Of course they were.
“But seriously. We have a package for you. Your cousin Quan… um, Qinun.. uhh, whatever the heck his name is. Yeah, he sent it to you. But no worries, we examined it, and it’s not going to help you get out of this cell. Right, Moe?”
The second one stuttered a bit. “Uhhh, uh, yeah! Yeah! Of course I checked it! I mean, if I didn’t, I’d kinda, well… you know, lose my job, right? Ehehe…”
They opened one of the smaller gates in the cell bar and slid the package in. The two officers walked away. I opened it, which took a lot of time due to my bare hands, but eventually I got it open. This small, square metal device about the size of the palm of your hand was inside this medium-sized cardboard box, but once I took it out, it unfolded into a transceiver. Wow, how lucky! I got into contact with my cousin immediately. A transparent green plasma screen popped up, but sadly, this wasn’t the kind that could display 3-D. I liked those.
After a short explanation of what happened to me, he gave me a metal file through the transportation connection. Unfortunately, that was the most useful thing he could transport me, since it was a small transceiver and it can only transport small objects like the metal file he just gave me.
However, the connection did not last long sadly. I looked on the back and I cursed lightly. D*** those T-Mobile b****rds.
But the good news was, I got the metal file to arm myself with a metal cell pole and get out of the jail cell in the process. The bad news, I walked, and I literally mean walked straight into an officer. He glanced at me for a second then drew his pistol. I smacked his hand and soon enough jabbed him into a wall. Then I took his pistol and shot him in the head, but it became empty after that one shot. How unlucky, he also had no spare magazines. I kept my pole, which had a bit of strawberry jelly red on it along with some of my jumpsuit.
Soon enough did I figure the only possible route was to get to General Fidiot, get his army to surrender, and end this war. But during this thought process, some police officers showed up and busted in the door right behind me. I ran from there.
Chapter IV
I run. They run. We all run. They also shoot bullets at me. I run faster.
Thankfully, my metal pole did come in handy when some guards tried to trap me on both sides of the corridors. Jousting on horses is very difficult, but foot jousting is not that hard. After all, you do get to use two hands.
I finally got into a storage room and armed myself with an M64 Carbine, which is a more powerful variant of the semi-automatic M16 Carbine. Soon enough the floor was painted with a nice tone of red, except I wished it was dry.
I got lost at one point though, because I accidentally rushed into a room with a few fighter planes in them, all clean and ready for take-off. There were also various control panels and such. Some guards were standing still in the area, pistols poised at their sides, that is, at least until they saw me. After a small skirmish, I realized I was in the wrong room and quickly ran to General Fidiot’s office.
Soon enough I found General Fidiot in his office, playing on one of those xBox 720’s those kids in 2024 talk about. Bah, I say try out Nintendo’s systems for once. Super Mario totally beats Call of Duty 14 anytime, at least in my opinion.
But anyway, he turned around and screamed at me. He tried arming with himself, but I quickly shot down his legs, and one of his arms. I took him captive, while I grabbed an American transceiver and told them,
“Yeah, so I have your general captive. Your best option is to surrender this war. You guys are total noobs, by the way.”
I hung up the transceiver, and soon enough, after a few hours of waiting with the immobile general, my German squad found me and took him as a POW. Oh, and I got a big hug from Quinn, which he nearly set off a loose frag grenade in the process.
A few days after 2025, the U.S.A. President Ducan himself soon confronted us, confused and angry at the same time.
“Why the heck do you have one of our generals?? What’s with the bloodshed?? Why did we have a war??? Can you explain what happened in the last year?? I just woke up and this already happened??”
Now, for a moment, we were all really confused. But then, out of the clear sky, came several alien space battlecruisers. Both sides were completely startled. I honestly had no idea what to say, but after they landed, alien humanoids came out. They resembled humans in some way, except with very strange outfits and two glossy alien eyes on their head.
Each one was armed with a pistol. I guess they were officers. But then, a giant alien came out of the ship which, judging from his weapons, uniform, and three-eyes, he looked like the leader of the group. He then spoke, saying:
“SJSTJHHJTSJSTJHTJRJWEGIESGKAEFKAWFMEGIGES)EWPKAEHGMRBKAR<REAGIRA<REHIE$Y$OHSRTY<%IY#$YO#@(%$Y<%$HAB<RGI$#Y(IY$Q#$YERAHERGLE%UAEO$%YESIFM!!!”
Both U.S. and German officials (including me and my cousin) immediately thought, ‘What the f***’? I could tell because it clearly expressed that on all of our faces, especially Quinn.
He then look confused for a moment, cursed lightly in some alien language and turned on his translator. “Hrngh, please excuse me. I forgot to turn this thing on.
Anyway, I think you should rather know that we are about to take over your planets that are in your possession. We-“
One U.S.A. soldier interrupted. “Why?”
The alien leader was not pleased. “BECAUSE WE ARE UN—SEGJGAIRHGJMHARIYAKHARGLAJOGPTE(W$$O%YU$%UW$%(H%$H%WBREHIJREGAK$O!!!”
All of us got that same expression as previously when his translator was not working. He cursed in alien again and tried turning it back on. He got really pissed now, because he tore off the battery case and one of the batteries were dead. So much for improved technology in the future.
After a few minutes later, one of his officers took over his speech. “So yeah, anyway, like, we are under, like, manifest destiny to, like, expand our region of control to, like, please our god, who’s name is, like, Faureclaes, who is, like, the bomb. You know, like, he created the universe, and obiously, like, made us superior over tiny humans. So, to make sure you guys, like, fought against each other and, li-“
One of the officers interrupted him. “STOP USING ‘LIKE’ ALL THE TIME!! LIKE, SERIOUSLY!! YOU DON’T NEED TO USE THAT WORD TOO MANY TIMES IN ONE EXPLENATION!! GIMME THAT TRANSLATOR!!” He shot the guy in the face with an explosive pistol and he fell to the ground, like, without a happy ending. I admit, I… like, felt sorry for that guy.
He then spoke in replace of the first officer whose brains are splattered on the floor. “SO ANYWAY, WE MADE SURE TO WEAKEN YOU GUYS FIRST BY MIND CONTROLLING PRESIDENT DUCAN AND HIS ARMY, TO FIGHT AGAINST YOU GUYS. OH YEAH, WE ALSO GOT GENERAL IDIOT TO KICK SOME GUYS OFF HIS ARMY AND TO BECOME AN IDIOT, EVEN THOUGH HE ALREADY WAS ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE.”
“Hey! That’s not nice!” I heard General Fidiot yell.
“LET ME FINISH, IDIOT. ANYWAY, WITH ALL THE BLOODSHED, WE DECIDED TO TAKE OFF THE MIND CONTROL THAT WAS USED AGAINST THE UNITED STATES OF APOLLO, ERR, I MEAN, AMERICA, AND NOW WE ARE HERE TO KILL YOU ALL. ANY QUESTIONS?”
I raised my hand. He pointed a pistol at me. So unlucky I was in the front of the rest of the people.
“Can my cousin and I go to the bathroom? Li- err, I mean, it would suck if we had to deal with smelly and wet pants when fighting. It just isn’t fair.”
He thought about it for a second. “FINE,” he yelled. “BUT MAKE SURE NOT TO TAKE YOUR TIME. WHEN YOU PITIFUL HUMANS ARE READY, LET THE FIGHT BEGAN ON THIS PLANET. OH, AND OUR BASE IS IN ORBIT AROUND YOURS, SO DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO GET UP OVER THERE.”
My cousin and me quickly left towards the American outpost, which had a German flag on top of it. The funny thing is, we both really did have to go to the bathroom, so you can’t say we bluffed out of that one.
But we weren’t going to run away. We had better plans.
After loading ourselves with U.S.A. weapons, similar to the ones we had in the war a year ago, I showed Quinn the room with all the fighter planes in it.
“Let’s do this, once and for all.” I told him.
Chapter V
It wasn’t long until Quinn got himself settled and strapped in a fighter plane of his choice. I already had mine in mind, but first I had to go over to the control panel and let the huge metal door open, giving us access to the runway. I hopped in my plane shortly after activating the panel to open the metal door.
We both took off, me following after Quinn. The aliens soon saw us, unfortunately, and started yelling random gibberish to the people at the base. Thankfully, President Ducan and that one German leader that I never got his name also saw us, so they started attacking the aliens in front of them immediately. The aliens retreated and also returned fire with their explosive-yet-small handguns.
After we got out into space, we saw the orbiting alien base ahead of us. What lucky timing. Strangely enough, it looked similar to the Death Star in the Star Wars triology back when I saw it in 2012 in 8th grade English Class. I was disappointed.
But there was no time to be disappointed, since a group of alien fighters approached us. The sad thing was, they approached directly in front of us. Both my cousin and I got quite a few easy kills, but as we got closer to each other, we had to split up.
“Quinn, this is Harmless, I’ll be taking over the left flank, over.”
He replied. “Roger that.”
I started getting on one of the enemy fighter’s tails, which was just going straight ahead. Easy kill, but I saw some floating cherry cocktail coming out of the exploding fighter. Which got me distracted as some other guys got on my tail now.
I did a somersault and tried to get on my enemy’s tails, but no luck. They immediately scattered and started approaching my cousin. I had to warn him.
“Quinn, enemy fighters approaching 2 o’ Clock, 10 degrees above!”
“Thanks for the notification.” He swerved and did a barrel roll, dodging some of the enemy fighters. I think two crashed into each other as well.
I got a few more kills after taking down some strays. Eventually, there were no more fighters to fight. After that was over, we had no time to waste. We immediately headed into the base.
After landing our ship, getting out, navigating through the passageways and sometimes getting horribly lost, shooting space aliens, and dealing with one angry drunkard prisoner who managed to escape, we found the alien leader. He didn’t seem happy.
“Well, well… I’m impressed you made it this far. Listen, though. I will now tell you, that you might as well just give up already. I mean, come on. We are obviously outnumbering and out powering your puny human race. Now, I will make one final offer to you. Join us, or DI-“
Ok, I got pretty bored of him ranting on, and so did Quinn. We both shot him in the face. He fell to the ground, dead. Unfortunately, this set off an alarm, so we had no time to waste. We both quickly exit the room, but I realized I made one tremendous error.
I forgot to refill my fighter’s fuel tank.
I told Quinn to get to his fighter while I hastily tried to find the fuel storage room using one of those “YOU ARE HERE” signs. He kinda slowed down for a bit, but I told him off to go. After approximately 30 seconds, I realized that there was no time. I just had to use what little fuel I had left.
The countdown started until self-destruction.
“10.”
I made my way down to my fighter.
“9.”
I tripped on my foot.
“8.”
I got back up and started running like my pants were on fire.
“7.”
I got lost.
“6.”
I quickly remembered which way I needed to go.
“2.”
“WHAT?? THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!!” I screamed.
The countdown voice spoke again. “Haha, just kidding. 4.”
I started running again.
“3.”
I found my plane.
“2.”
I tripped again. Oh, what luck.
“1.”
I got up again, but my hopes were lost. I saw Quinn’s fighter as a speck in the distance.
“0.”
I had JUST gotten in my plane, closed the cover, turned on the engine, but realized there was no time. I closed my eyes and wished myself goodbye.
But no explosion happened. I looked around at first, everything the same as it was before. But then, the countdown voice spoke again.
“Have a nice day!”
I slammed on the gas. I managed to just BARELY make it out alive.
The good news: I was not caught in the blast radius. The bad news: I was out of gas mid-way through on my trip back to Ytheridoslagh. My plane started rolling on slowly, until it stopped moving, a few miles away from the planet. My face turned white with horror. I figured I was gonna be stuck here forever. I rested my head down and sobbed. What terrible luck.
An hour later, however, I notice that the one speck in the distance of space on my left was shifted to the… left. I was still moving? I noticed, that gradually, I was gaining speed. What luck!! Yteridoslagh’s gravitation kept on pulling me through. Soon enough did I break through the atmosphere, red flames engulfing my ship. I was amazed. Probably the best moment of my life.
But it was too early to celebrate.
Out of the skies I saw that I was going to make a crash land – right on top of President Ducan’s office. That could kill the U.S.A. president, and probably crush my hopes of peace between the U.S. and Germany.
But my plane was stuck. The controls would not budge, and that was because it was impossible to start the engine back up again since I had no gas. I feared the worst had become a reality.
Then I heard a crackle on the radio. “Heads up, Harmless!! I’m coming your way!!”
I saw my cousin’s plane swoop down right in front of my plane, it’s main body coming into contact with my nose of the plane. He shifted his plane so my plane rolled off his, sparks flying and such, but now I was heading into a new direction, a grassy hill where there were once U.S.A. mortars a year ago. Moments before crash-landing, I jumped out of the plane and equipped a parachute.
Smooth landing, as usual. My cousin did the same, since he ran out of fuel as well on his plane.
We both landed back on the President’s office. He and the German leader were both there, shaking hands and signing terms of peace. Presiden Ducan soon walked up to both of us and gave us very high-ranking badges.
“You two are true heroes. Keep up the good work.”
My cousin and I saluted him, with smiles on our faces.
