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This story was actually inspired by the "The Shipping Contest" thread, but I believe it would never fit the rules of the game, either by not depicting the characters in a "realistic" way or for being a bit too long. Although I have some difficulty to create long stories. Anyway...



New Year


Ever since I moved to this city, I'd spend the entire evening walking around the commercial streets. They are always crowded, yet never enough to keep under 18's from walking around until 10pm, sometimes 12am on weekends. Usually I would spend all the time walking around on my own or with a couple of friends. Life was quite lonely for me in there.

Until the New Year's Eve.

I just remember waking up with my face on my desk, as if I had slept after studying too much. However, I glanced at the clock and it was still 9pm. Then, I realized
that the reason that I woke up was that someone was making a lot of noise outside my room. Probably someone had been knocking at my door for several minutes and I barely realized. When I opened the door, though, it was Jack, one of the students in my class.

"Oi, John. Want to go out to the cinema with us?"
"Wait a sec, I need an extra set of clothes here. It's quite cold out there."
"That much? It's not even raining."
"I know, but I'm used to heat in December."
"I see... How long will you take there?"
"Three minutes, no more. I'm already dressed, it's just that I..."
"Homework overdose, probably. Happens to everyone."

A few moments later, I ran out of the room, left the college along with Jack and walked to the main street, where there were three other people waiting for us, including a girl that I have met before. She moved into town a month before I did, and in no time we met each other. Few knew her actual name, so everyone just called

her "Lucy". For a couple of months, we became really close friends.

Yet... there was something out of place in me. I was always a loner, which was the main cause that I ended up moving so far away from home on my very own. No sooner had I already changed my life ending up in the Great Britain for a few years and it was about to happen again.

We have strolled down the main street for half a mile before getting to the commercial streets, chatting and singing popular songs from each of our countries. The combination of distinctive languages was unusual yet funny, which helped me to fight the freezing English winter. It didn't take long to make it to the cinema, though. After buying tickets, soft drinks and snacks, everybody took their seats in a rather empty room. Usually the Saturday late sessions were crowded with students, but it seemed that everyone chose to have a good night of sleep or trying to sneak into the local pubs.

"John, you have a second?" - she asked.
"Sure. Sit down."
"Yet another action movie... They are quite cool, but too repetitive."
"I'd just like to talk with you for a while. It's not any day that we can be together."
"True. There's so much happening here, it's quite hard to keep up."
I blacked out for a while, but not for too long. It felt like I was still sleeping.
"You okay there? You seem a little too tired."
"Nah, I'm fine... Just thinking about a few things."
"I really mean it... I have never seen you like this before. You just seem lost here."
"I know."
"You were sleeping before you came here, weren't you?"
"Actually, I was, but I'm ok now. I just feel a bit lonely."
"You miss your family, I bet. Want to go out and call them?"
"Actually, I spoke to them a couple of days ago. I'm fine here, it's just that..."
"That?"

I took a deep breath, saving a split second to think about what to say next, even though Lucy seemed to be able to read my mind.

"There is something out of place in me. I knew that it would happen sooner or later, but I always tried my best to avoid it. I just can't, though."
"I see..."
"Can you keep a little secret for me, then?"
"Of course! What is it?"

I got close to her. Just close enough so that I could whisper a few words so that no one else could hear:

"I love you."

Both of us were petrified for a moment, but she managed to recover quicker, pulling out a smile.

"You know, no one has ever told me that... I also like you, but I wasn't expecting that you would..."
"It's all right, Lucy. I wouldn't have known it either if I were you, would I?"

I could feel her arms warming me up, her left hand messing with my hair, while I held her left shoulder. Her skin was really smooth, but in that night it seemed more than ever.

"I think I should tell you something too, then we'll be even."

Then, she leaned even closer until I could see no more but her face and the shine in her eyes.

"Happy New Year, John."

As the lights went out, she pulled me again and kissed me on my lips, a moment which seemed to last forever. Nothing else could be seen or heard but a few whispers around and the sound of a young couple kissing each other. There was so much adrenaline running in me that it almost looked like I was falling...

Falling, falling, falling.

Suddenly, I woke up. It is now the morning of January 1st, 2013. I'd often sleep around midnight, but I went on till 2am last night. A single goblet half filled with champagne (for the sake of Réveillon celebrations) was all that was needed to take me down. I didn't even have the time to return to my room. Yet I wasn't the only one sleeping. Everyone was still fast asleep, as the sun was still about to rise.

Everyone but Lucy.

"'Sup, John." - she said.
"Hey... did I sleep for too long?"
"Not really. But these other ones - I think there's not much hope for them."
"Are you doing anything now?"
"No... just walking around here to check if everyone is ok."
"Well... do you want to take a walk at the park?"
"Okay... I'll be waiting."

I took a last look at the rising sun at the end of the horizon. Its blinding light towards my eyes made me be sure that it is no longer a dream now.

"Hey, what are you waiting for?"

I ran towards her, feeling the heat taking over me for once. No winter shall be able to change that. No more promises will be made, just actions instead.

This will be the best year ever.

Wow.

I'm going to start the campaign early, and I know I'm most definitely jumping the gun. Now keep in mind this is taking away the only award I am ever guaranteed at in the RV sessions, but... it has to be done.

And if it has to be done, it has to be done in a way that you would appreciate.


(normal sig also available, name-only.)

I'm serious. You keep writing like this and I'll back you up all the way. This is just very well done. The dialogue is so tangible and real; it sounds just like a conversation would have with a close friend. You were very subtle with your exposition; showing, not telling. You didn't outright tell us he loved Lucy, but you gave the inferences within the way they talked and the way he thought of her. It wasn't until he actually told her in the dream sequence that it was confirmed.

And I usually don't like when dialogue is told entirely without action to back it up, but here it works, because it's the minimalism that gives it such beauty. It strips away all preamble, and I love that. And when he 'confessed' in the dream, the reaction was entirely appropriate. Just a moment of silent shock; for better or worse. And the return wasn't an automatic 'I love you too' there was some optimistic hesitation.

And then the 'it was allllll a dream' twist. Usually I call those cop-outs. But if you've ever been stricken with someone, and you've had dreams of finally confessing to them and it turns out well... then you know why I call brilliance. And then how he gets the confidence based on that dream- that takes a man, for sure. Even if he's sort of hungover and it's early and my emotions always run hyper in the mornings, he still resolved to do it. But then... ambiguous ending. Did he really go through with it or did he back out? If he went through with it, did she return it or did she turn him down? A cliffhanger ending is a beautiful thing when done right because it allows the imagination of the reader to take over the rest. You definitely did it right.

Really, you're heads and tails above... I'm sorry, everyone, I gotta say it... every other active writer on the site with this piece. You definitely stand up to myself (and SuperMIC, come to think of it) if you'll pardon my ego. I really hope you keep writing because I loved this and I'd read your work whenever it comes out.

10/10

Author followed and favorited.

28/28. Applause.

Firstly, bravo for using my birthday in your story. XD Secondly, I can't help but feel this is like looking at some of my writing. You describe love as though you've experienced it, and you can tell when you read it. I'm like that, I use my experiences for emotion and dialogue in stories and stuff. I don't think anyone here has really seen me truly write from the heart, so it's quite difficult to understand...

...But I really connected with this. I love these stories, they feel so real, as if you could jump into them. You have the most wonderful style, it's like your heart is speaking in it. I do that, but probably nowhere near as well. This is great, keep going, it's very rare to find someone who can connect with the reader so well.

However, there are a few minor things. With the big sections of dialogue, it's a little difficult to follow and who's saying what. I don't really rate stories either, so I won't give this a mark. But you should know by now, from this and the comments above mine, how well you succeeded here.

A short oneshot, but you managed to pack some emotion in it. I like it!

I give it 7 out of 7 asses.

(That's good)

Avo wrote:A short oneshot, but you managed to pack some emotion in it. I like it!

I give it 7 out of 7 asses.

(That's good)

I'm awful and bump and Ohhhh now I get the reference lmfao