Daily

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Re: Daily

Postby MessengerOfDreams » June 20th, 2010, 7:15 am

Chapter. 2!
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My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3
Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
"You were always a revolutionary, now there's just less of a chance of you crying in the corner." ~Ridder
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Re: Daily

Postby MICrophone » June 20th, 2010, 5:11 pm

Wow…epyc plot twist is epyc.

I like what I'm seeing…one problem is that I'm not remembering who all of the characters are so well besides the main two or three, which means that you're not making them memorable enough. For example, Raymond, the Adel whatever her name is, some other characters…perhaps develop them a bit more so the reader will remember them more. Other than that, this is excellent! Keep it up! :awe:
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Re: Daily

Postby Worst_master » June 21st, 2010, 3:02 am

Good good now, because I hate history, noew the converstations is much better for me, they are long too.
marioiscool254 wrote:some other characters

Good, because there just have a few char.
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Re: Daily

Postby MessengerOfDreams » June 21st, 2010, 12:15 pm

Taking what Mic said to heart, I dedicated a portion of chapter 3 to teh underused characters and made it a bit less thrilling, but with a slightly EPYK TWIST at the end.
Image
Image

My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3
Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
"You were always a revolutionary, now there's just less of a chance of you crying in the corner." ~Ridder
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2016 Story Contest

Thumbs Up given: 519 times
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Re: Daily

Postby MICrophone » June 21st, 2010, 5:44 pm

Best chapter yet…very well developed, and even though it was not as exciting as the previous ones it was superbly written and the story was excellent, not to mention moar epyc plot twist is epyc.
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Re: Daily

Postby MessengerOfDreams » June 24th, 2010, 5:49 am

Okay, we desperately need more reviews for chapter 4! :D
Image
Image

My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3
Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
"You were always a revolutionary, now there's just less of a chance of you crying in the corner." ~Ridder
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MessengerOfDreams
Moderator

Error contacting Twitter
 
Posts: 6615
Joined: August 16th, 2009, 11:31 am
Location: When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Winter
2016 Story Contest

Thumbs Up given: 519 times
Thumbs Up received: 707 times
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Re: Daily

Postby MICrophone » June 24th, 2010, 6:07 am

Chapter was pretty good. It felt a bit rushed, methinks…could've lengthened it and slowed things down a bit by perhaps adding a little more description. And Torah Avenue was downright cheesy. Other than that, excellent as usual. Can't wait for the next chapter! :D
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Posts: 2236
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Thumbs Up given: 59 times
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Re: Daily

Postby MessengerOfDreams » June 27th, 2010, 9:43 pm

...and the sole reader has left the building.

Seriously, there's got to be other readers. If you read this, post a review, a comment, even just say "I read and like Daily." Otherwise, I'm shutting her down. It's not me begging for attention, it's me wanting to make sure I'm not getting hopes up for nothing.
Image
Image

My Most Recent Works: show
I switch my signature a lot. If you wanna see some of my past ones, here you go.
Silent Conversations and a Crow's Final Song!
My latest story, and one of my personal favorites. A girl bound in silence finds the words to say to her prospective girlfriend as they visit her religious father in a dusty town on the edge of Kansas, where the crows' migration south brings forth anchored memories, the path to resolution, and a new start.

Form (25quared)
This might be like nothing you've seen before.
Updated Works! Some of my past best and current stuff: show
Writing Works!
Fanfic: Shut Up and Dance
why do I write so much about dancing you don't dance you've never danced in your entire life
lying little ♥♥♥♥ with your ♥♥♥♥ story ♥♥♥♥ you
also Diddy/Lucina <3
Fanfic: Worth a Thousand Words
Because the world needed a Samus/Dedede story
Fanfic: Ecstatic Silence
Just wanted to write and ♥♥♥♥ like this happens, you'd think I'd know better.
Fanfic: Far From the Edge
It's a dance that's been a long time coming for a brand new man and an unchanging woman, but once one takes the plunge there's no falling back up.
Original: Jealous Ghosts of the Mississippi
The story of Rachel meeting Amber after a lifetime of silence and being shunned
Original: Your Hand in Mine
One of my most personal stories about a dangerous romance. Now to be published in a college lit journal!
-------------------------
Recent LDC Work:
Level Series: Leaves From The Vine (ft Star King)
For the 29th LDC, a theme of grassland taken through the growth of our designing society. Won the 29th LDC!
--
Levels at Large:
Level Topic: Collection of MoD's Levels!
If you've ever wanted to see any level I made worth a damn, go here! From the quiet 14th LDC entrant Finis to the megasmash level series Dark, you can find links here!
"You were always a revolutionary, now there's just less of a chance of you crying in the corner." ~Ridder
User avatar
MessengerOfDreams
Moderator

Error contacting Twitter
 
Posts: 6615
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Location: When I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Winter
2016 Story Contest

Thumbs Up given: 519 times
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Top

Re: Daily

Postby nin10mode » July 5th, 2010, 11:38 pm

A very famous person once said the following:
Bada, ba-ba, daaa... I'm lovin' it!

I completely agree. This story has a lot of suspense, and a lot of surprises. I feel like I'm watching CSI right now. :D But one thing that bothers me is that the title is a bit misleading. I know that it means that this is the daily procedure of "Project City," but When you look at a title that says "Daily," you don't exactly think of murder... And as Mic stated a couple posts ago, I think a little more character development is needed for some of the characters, like Raymond, J.P, and Violet. All in all, awesome story. --/10 I'll give a full review and score when you finish. : D
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Re: Daily

Postby brandoprojectm » July 6th, 2010, 12:52 am

Thank you Mode. I was planning on doing this, but I'm too busy with Moy's OTHER review. You just made Moy's day.

EDIT:
nin10mode wrote:A very famous person once said the following:
Bada, ba-ba, daaa... I'm lovin' it!


Here in Mexico it's "Para, pa-pa, paaa.... me encanta!" :3
Just remember this, when you see her on the street.

I'm the cruelest girl you'll ever meet.
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