Red's Vault of Wonderful Stories OF DOOM

[barnecade]

Before I start, this counts as 5 reviews k?

So how should I start? Grammar!! There are quite a bit of grammar issues, not just incorrect stuff, but some made the story a bit more confusing than it should be. Like pronoun usage.

He wore full black with a red hood, and was weaponless. He used black magic to attack and defend. Red had no long range weapons So he ran as fast as he could towards him. He then created a purple ring and launched it at Red. Red dove through the ring and slashed at his feet.

Like that. Took me a while to realize you were talking about Blab (right?), to fix that, just mention Blab a bit more. Also you should type out the stories in something like MSWord to catch grammar mistakes (if you don't already). Reread your stories before posting them. It would make your stories so much better. But you know, its alright, since your Red. Red will always be Red.
The speech in the first few chapters of "It's Gone" were a bit... how should I say it? Kind of like what robots would say in that boring voice. "Oh red, you should not have done that." But the speech got better.

I thought the self glorification was hilarious. Very funny. The story itself was very funny, as expected of a Red's Random Story. The endings of each chapter also got better as the chapters went on. I really liked the ending to chapter 5, liked it a lot. Development really showed from the first chapter, to the latest one. I guess I really shouldn't have skipped over this story just because it's longer than most of your other stories.

Great job red, keep up the good work!

[RedLink]

I do use MSWord and it smux. Yeah I no good at Grammar and mentioning Other people's name a lot would be kind of annoying. Thanks for the Review I feel all fuzzy inside. New Chapter of It is being posted right about NOW...Maybeh Yes I was talking about Blab. lol. So Yeah... Now Review my other Stories

[RedLink]

ALRIGHT. YEAAH NEW STORY POST WOO! Get on Reading.



STORY 32. It's Gone. Chapter 6. Double Battles of Awesome

Spoiler: show

Red saw the fire wave getting closer to him and he acted fast. He dodged towards the left landing on some flowers. Poor innocent flowers! Red got up panting and looked at Ninny. “What the hell is wrong with you!? There isn’t enough time to see who is stronger! Jello is in pain!” Red yelled as he dodged another fire wave sent by Ninny. “Heh… Don’t lie to me Red. I know you are scared of me.” Ninny then made his Staff light on fire and a giant flame spear popped out of the tip. He pointed it at Red and he threw it at him. Red ducked the devastating fire spear and looked at Ninny who was laughing. “Why are you laughing?” Red asked furiously at Ninny who simply just pointed behind him. Red turned around to see the fire spear go back to Ninny and it caused a forest fire which surrounded around them. Red got up and saw Ninny charging up another fire blast. He ran towards Ninny and took out his sword. He dived to the left avoiding the blast and slashed at Ninny. A fire wall arose from Ninny’s feet and blocked Red’s Attack. The heat of the fire went through the sword towards Red’s hand and it burnt him well. He dropped his sword in pain and saw his skin burning away. “So that is how you want to play it huh?!” Red picked up his sword and this time charged at Ninny not only planning to stop the battle but to kill Ninny.

“It’s okay Jello. You not going to die today buddy.” Four said in a calm voice to Jello who was coughing up blood. “Where…Is…Red?” Jello asked groaning in pain and spitting blood. “Shh... Don’t talk in your condition. He is finding some guy named Ninny to help your pain. Now just rest here and don’t move” Jello looked at four like if that was some kind of joke. “Sorry, I know you can’t” four said and left Jello on the street while he looked around. Jello’s hawk Brendon stayed next to Jello the whole time trying to make him feel better. Four simply smiled at the compassion and protection they both shared. As he was looking at the Hawk he heard a voice. “Well it has been a long time four” four took out his two silver red striped swords and looked around him. “Where are you!? Who are you!?” four yelled while circling around Jello to protect him. “Tsk Tsk Tsk… You don’t remember me buddy? Such a shame, I planned to come here and kill you while you knowing who I am” the stranger laughed. Four then heard footsteps behind him and blocked the attack from the invisible figure. “Nice one indeed four. But I shall not fight you while being invisible, that would be pretty unfair.” Four started to see the legs of the man appear and then his chest. He finally saw who it was and got angrier. “Remmy! What do you want!? Did that pathetic Blab send you here?!” four took out his pistol and shot at Him. Remmy simply moved his head to avoid the bullets while standing still. “I found out about Blab’s evil plan but he promised me that my stories shall be safe. One little task that he asked of me was to take Jello to him, which I shall do now!” Remmy wore a dark purple shirt with a blue sweater. He had on black jeans with red shoes and green finger less gloves. His hair was the color of a charcoal black that went down his face. His eyes were blocked by his hair but since I am the writer I say they are light blue.

As for weapons he had a long sword that had a black silver handle and curved at the end. It was the size of two of four’s swords. Also on his back was a giant crossbow that was color green and was glowing red. The tip of the cross bow bolt was bright red and four could not stop staring at it as he circled around Remmy with his two swords ready. “What does that thing do?” four asked still concentrating on Remmy in case anything happens. “Oh It’s a surprise four, and you are about to find out soon.” With those words Remmy slashed at four who did the limbo(thanks for Ven) and the sword was 2 inches away from cutting four’s nose. Four jumped back and took out his pistols. He aimed perfectly and steadily at Remmy’s shoulder. He rapidly presses the triggers to injure Remmy which did not result well. Remmy slid left to right laughing and getting closer to four. Four ran out of bullets and saw Remmy taking out his intimidating Crossbow of death. “You wanted to see what it does right four? Well here is a demonstration!” He pulled the bolt back and shot at four who was still reloading his guns. Four saw the bolt get shot from the crossbow and it getting closer to his face at blinding speed.

Red jumped over the fire blasts under his feet and slashed at Ninny who simply backed away from him. “Stop running away you coward!” Red angrily yelled and got hit in his leg. He roared in pain and fell to the ground. He felt the fire burning his flesh and it hurt as much as someone cutting you up with glass. Red looked up at Ninny who smiled while lighting up another fire sphere. In the inside it glowed bright orange swirling around a black core and is surrounded by a dark red like a fire tornado. Ninny finished charging up the inferno death ball and chucked it at Red. Red dived to the left still struggling with the major burning in his Leg. “What does this prove Ninny? Enough of this bullcrap! You Win! Please Help Cure Jello!” Red still pled to Ninny who simply would not understand. “Red, I will not stop Until I See you do at least some damage to me.” Ninny continued charging blasts after blasts and Red had no other choice but to dodge them all barely. “I need to plan this out; I just can’t go on slashing at Him.” Red thought while watching another fire ball being thrown at him. He managed to dive out the way and got up. He could not hide due to him being surrounded by a death fire ring. Ninny simply floated while charging up his fire staff once more laughing. “If Hours of Zelda has taught me anything…” Red whispered and looked up at Ninny. He stood up struggling and pointed his sword at Ninny. “Oh…Lookie here. Red thinks he is powerful enough to defeat me?”Ninny trolled and charged up once again another fire blast. “Good-Bye Red. You were somewhat of a challenge.” Ninny continued laughing like a Maniac and fired a hell ball directly at Red’s Chest.

“Come on…Come on…” Red said in his mind waiting for the flame ball to reach him. As he saw it getting bigger, he swung his sword directly hitting it with the tip. The sphere simply bounced back at Ninny who was stunned staring at his own fire spell rushing towards his face. (Imagine like a big explosion and stuff) Ninny was lying on the floor in the middle of a giant hole caused by the fire blast. His staff was broken in half and there was no more light in the crystal. His face full of blood and he looked up at Red who simply walked down towards him. Red took out his sword and smiled. Then without hesitation, he stabbed Ninny directly in the chest. He left his sword there for a while staring at the bloody Ninny and chuckled. “You did not want to help. You deserve this pain.” Red pulled out his sword and started to walk away when he heard Ninny say something. “Good Job Red…You don’t suck after all.” Ninny then started laughing and his voice changed to some robotic destroyed laugh. Red stood there confused and his eyes opened to what he saw next. Ninny’s body started to vanish and turn into fire. His body was no longer there and little sparks were left floating in the air. The group of sparks started moving and then flew away from the forest. As Red started to think on what the hell just happened, the fire around him also disappeared. Like in one second the whole forest was back to normal. Red climbed out of the hole with his sword on his back and clapped his hands together. “Well… That didn’t work at all. I guess I’m going to check on four and Jello” Red walked out the forest LIKE A BAWS hoping that everything was okay. You pathetic fool…Yeah I called myself pathetic.
To Be Continued…(Yeah like in 4 months. I had this like here for like 2 months or something. Ignore this)

STORY 33. Epic Chat Collab of Stories and Cool Stuff.

Spoiler: show

Once Again some users got bored in the chat. Enjoy their stories.

RED- 1965…Colombia....or Columbia…. I don’t know…. There was a spot in Colombia called Tickle Butt Land. It’s where the craziest and most hardcoriest people go there to fight… This information has nothing to do with the story. Anyways, Jello was walking to his house to get on Runouw to see if Red has bought him Terraria. (Nope.) As he was walking he froze in his steps. The sky turned gray and started thundering. His face started to twitch and he got an annoying itch on his ♥♥♥. He did not want to scratch because of what that old lady told her..*OMFGFLASHBACKWOO* “Yo Boy I tell you. I put a curse on yur ♥♥♥ that if yur scratch it the world blows up and sheez. U knows? Like fo rizzles.” The Old Lady had green hair and lived behind a dark alley behind Burger King. She smelled like rotten cheese and the belly button smell. Yeah you’ve smelled it once in your life. DON’T LIE! Anyways Back to Story. “So…You don’t sell drugs?” Jello asked and walked away.
After that day Jello was afraid to scratch his ♥♥♥. The itch hurt so much and every time it itched the sky turned black. Jello turned looked everywhere to see if someone was watching. Oh chit forgot to tell you what Jello was wearing. A Pink shirt saying “Unicorns4Lie” and green jeans. He wore a sombrero and a fake mustache along with sandals. Jello is a pimp like that. Anyways He saw no one and went to scratch his ♥♥♥ when OMFGWTFBQQ… Nothing happened. “Uhh…What was that noise?” Jello asked. Oh Crap he heard me... If I don’t move… “I heard you again. Who the hell are you and why you watching me scratch my butt?” Jello looked up everywhere and scratched his head. “STOP NARRATING MY LIFE!” Jello yelled and then slapped himself to death. Then he blew up. Then his remaining guts were eaten by turtles. TURTLES ARE SATAN’S PETS!

Anyways so after Jello died*door opens* Hey Who are you!? GTFO! No don’t press that button!!!
Red and YoshiBoo landed into the real world where Jello’s blood was left. “You nipple sucking fat utter licking douche bag of horse piss!” Red yelled at YB. “I shall kill you Red with my BEAR HANDS!” Yb showed Red his BEAR HANDS. “Hah Hah I get it…Anyways I have a rocket launcher and stuff so…” Red aimed at Yb and shot at his face. AND THEN HE……..Nothing happened because Yb was never there. Yb was a projection of Red’s childhood. He represented the lost soul who never smiled…I making crap up anyways… Yb dodged the rocket and went to slash at Red when OMFGWTFBQQ AVO JUMPED IN BETWEEN THEM. Avo wore shades and no clothes at all. He smiled at stood there posing in the middle. Yb and Red stared at Avo confused on what the hell was going on when OMFGQTFBBQX2 a two headed turtle made of cotton candy came up and ate Avo. And nothing was spoken of after that scene. Anyways back to story. So After Yb saved the president from the incoming attack from the Killer Turtles, He retired and went to play Nintendo Games until he died of a heart attack. OR DID HE? Years later reports showed he was poisoned by some underground assassin turtles that call themselves T.M.N.T. “Who the hell is narrating this? I am still standing here and YB is like right over there” Red points to YB and smiles. Red then gets a rock and throws it at YB who got knocked out. And Blew Up. And got eaten by killer Turtles.

Red was like O.O and just shrugged. As he started walking away down the street whistling to “Don’t Stop Believing” he heard a laugh. He turned around in SLO-MO where you can see hit spit and saw Remmy walking down the street. He was wearing pimp glasses with a brown mafia hat and smoking a cigarette. He wore a black suit and black shoes that were blood colored. He had two swords behind him and was holding a shotgun. He was walking in slomo and Red was speechless. 40 minutes passed and Remmy has advanced 20 feet. Red fell asleep on the street. After 232 hours he finally reached Red but failed so much that he tripped over him and tripped…IN SLO-MO!!! Red got up and went to his house to sleep. Days passed and Remmy continued to fall IN SLO-MO. Barn came by eating ice cream and saw Remmy. He shrugged and kicked him in the nuts. He blew up and so did Barn. Red heard the noise and ran back to the spot. He knew that he had won. But what he didn’t know is that ALUCARD IS THE NARRATOR! “Oh meowzers...” Red said.

Red started taking off his clothes and run head first into a bus sign. He then climbed up a house and jumped off resulting in him breaking his 435 bones. Including his ♥♥♥. Anyways as Red laid there crying on the grass he saw a figure walk up to him. “V…V…Ven?” He said and died. Ven smiled and stared at me. Oh ♥♥♥♥. Now he is getting closer. Better get away. *In the background* Ace-No NO!!*High pitched Girl Scream* OH MAH GAWD!! MY NOSE IS BEING FILLED WITH LIQUIDS NOT BEST DESCRIBED! No..What you doing with that turtle?! OH MAH G-*Channel Lost. Please Stand By. Elevator Music Plays* Now enjoy your regular program. Alu is dead and Ven stood tall over the narrator station laughing while coughing blood. In the distance he saw fire getting closer and closer. It was an atomic NUKE! The world blew up and shiz and it was all because of Jello scratching his ♥♥♥. So Remember Kids. Turtles are EVIL. THE END.



REMMY- Ace stood over the broken wastelands that used to be Runouw.com. His long cape billowed in the wind as he surveyed the scene. Rubble everywhere, and fire still ablaze in some parts. What a despicable place, what used to be so calm was now… Desolate.

“So, you’ve come back to finish the rest of us?” Ace turned to the source of the voice, YB. YB looked at Ace with pure hatred, and then continued: “Well, I’m not going down without a fight.” Ace actually grinned at these words.

“I was hoping for that.” Ace rose his hands into the shape of a cross, and a small symbol of a bat appeared in the middle of it. “Grid, lock!” A wave of energy was released as the symbol pulsed, and then disappeared. As if in slow motion, purple fire gathered at Ace’s hand. “Get ready boy.”

YB smiled and copied Ace, crossing his hands. A symbol of a skull appeared. “Grid, lock!” A similar wave of green energy released from YB.

“COMBAT CONNECTED” A robotic voice said.

Ace threw his purple fire, which shot like a bullet straight at YB, but YB was ready. He raised his hand and a green magic circle appeared in front, blocking the fire straight on. YB quickly lowered his shield and fired a green beam towards Ace, but he was too late.

Ace’s blade pierced YB before he had time to react. Blood spurted out of YB’s mouth as he realized what happened.

“Too slow.” Ace said, calmly, watching YB’s body collapse onto the ground, a pool of blood slowly forming. Ace stood for a minute, then looked up in the air confused. “Wait a minute…”

A red shadow flashed in front of Alucard as he barely backed away. Alucard quickly cleaved down at the shadow, but it had already backed a good distance away.

“Hmph, so close.” RedLink flashed his red dagger, long and deadly. His arms formed into a cross. “Grid, lock!” A sword symbol pulsed, but Red wasn’t done. “Limit Control! Insanity Locust!”

The ground shook and Ace was caught off guard. He fell to the ground, but as he was trying to recover, four claws erupted from the ground around Ace. Red lights appeared from all around the claws until there were hundreds of them everywhere. Suddenly, the lights reigned down on Ace, causing an enormous explosion, smoke blasting from everywhere, causing even RedLink, who was so far away, to shield his eyes and stand his ground from the impact. “Sucker.” RedLink grinned again, but then felt a quick drain of energy and had to grab hold to the nearby rubble to stay up.

“The problem of a Limit Control, is drain of power afterwards.” RedLink turned to the new source of voice, but the smoke covered the person up. “Always make sure you can withstand the consequences. Child.” Barn stood holding an iron pipe in his hand.

His hands formed into a cross. “Grid, lock!” A spear symbol pulsed, but Red didn’t see it, he was running away.

Red was weak and out of energy, it took all of his strength to put each foot forth. He looked back once, and saw that Barn was quickly gaining. Red quickly kept running, but then suddenly smacked into an invisible wall. “What?!” He yelled in anger.

Barn smiled and looked at Red, who had collapsed onto the ground from sheer exhaustion. “A Grid Lock makes an arena of 100 feet radius. You’ve just hit the wall.” Barn’s iron pipe suddenly glowed and turned into a spear, powerful and sparking with electricity at the end. “Good bye.” Barn lunged towards Red with his spear, but Red grabbed it with the little strength he had and deflected it, causing the spear to scrape the cement.

“Limit… Limit Control.” Gasped Red. “Mir- Mirror form.”

”What?!” Barn yelled, going for another lunge, but the spear made no contact with Red, instead striking a large mirror that appeared in front of him. Within the mirror, Barn saw his angry eyed reflection, but then suddenly it changed, to a small figure, seemingly way in the distance. “Who…?” Barn started, but then stopped. He lunged towards the side just as a figure shot straight out of the mirror and landed on all fours.

“Avo?!” Barn said in shock, as he used his spear to parry punch that Avo launched at him. Barn gave that brief second to give a glance at Red. He was dead, but he certainly gave a good parting gift.

Avo punched Barn straight in the face and a bit of blood was drawn. Barn staggered back and lunged at Avo with his spear, but Avo easily grabbed the spear and came straight up to Barn. “You know one thing I love?” Avo was barely a foot away from Barn, but he calmly acted as if they were casually conversing.

Avo raised his hand and looked at it, a bit of blood from Barn still there. He licked it and then smiled again. With one quick movement, Barn fell to the ground, a hole, straight through where his heart should be.

”Limit Control.” Avo said calmly, “Blood Sap.”

“COMBAT DISCONNECTED.” Avo looked towards the sky as he heard that. That meant it was over. That meant he had won.

He was projected onto a screen, the heart still in his hands, his arm completely covered in blood, a maniacal look on his face. “He’s gone insane. It seems a month in solitude with nothing but the others has truly made them… Mad.” Ridder spoke calmly and smiled as she watched Avo laugh with triumph.

“Yes, they’ve become mentally useless.” Azn stood over Ridder, watching the monitor as well. “We’ve no use for anybody who goes insane. Our tests are to make sure that they are fit for such situations.”

”What do you suggest?”

”Kill him. The clean up the place. I want it all ready for the next batch.”

-----------------------

And to break the mood, Jello appeared and died. Yeah...



JELLO- Red was walking through the forest one day in Peru or Argentina or something like that. He was searching for a remedy for his broken finger, but he didn’t know what plants would act as a pain reliever. Why didn’t he go to a doctor or something? BECAUSE HE WAS SAVING UP TO BUY ME TERRARIA, NOW STFU. So he decided to find someone to help, n stuff like that.

So he saw this cave and there was a sign outside that said “Hey, don’t go in here if you want to live, KTHNXBAI.” Red, of course went in there and found a giant scorpion which stung him in the ♥♥♥, yatta yatta yatta. THE END. No, not really. But the scorpion sting was very real. Talk about a pain in the ♥♥♥. *dun dun chh*.

So now Red had a broken finger and a scorpion sting that will kill him in 2 hours. SO HE REALLY NEEDS TO HURRY. He caught sight of this lady with purple hair and her back to him. Maybe she was a jungle plant expert. So Red tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around in slow motion. It was none other than Venquisha, the wisest diva in all of Paraguay or where ever this story takes place.

“Ohhhh heeeeellll naw gurl” Said Venquisha, “Oh hell naw. You get yo ♥♥♥ out of my sight cause that is the UGLIEST scorpion sting I have seen in mah entire life. Mmhm girl. Here, try some of this.” She handed Red a purple and yellow flower. “Rub that on your sting, honey. See y’all later.”

Red did exactly as he was instructed. But the plant made his sting itch really REALLY BAD. I mean, the sting just kinda INFLATED and popped. And out crawled all these baby scorpions. And, trust me you do not want me to go into detail about how Red died of scorpion poisoning. So there Red perished, in some forest in Colombia, with a broken finger.

Azn, Ace, Avo, and YB later discovered the body and fought over who got to keep it for food scraps. They ended up killing each other. Yay. The End.




YOSHIBOO- INVASION OF THE GELLATIN KINGDOM

It was a dark day for the Ghost Warriors. Commander Yoshi Boo and his men had infiltrated the fortress of the Gelatin Kingdom, where evil king Jelloman awaited. However, many traps had been set for them, include a pit of burning lava that had killed 10 of his best soldiers. Out of the 1000 men he started with, only 50 had survived the terrible attacks. The door leading to the king’s throne was just ahead, but suddenly, the dastardly pirate Redlink had jumped from the ceiling. “HEHEHEHEH I WILL KILL U ALL AND KILL THE KING FOR A REWARD WITH LOTSA MONEY,” he exclaimed. “OH NO BOI IMMA GET HIM FIRST SO WE CAN LIVE IN PIECE N ALL DAT,” the Commander said. Red slashed his sword at Yoshi Boo, cutting his left hand off. “OH NO U DIDN’T” the Commander said, grabbing Red’s sword out of his hand. He attempted to hit the pirate, but Red jumped back, and with a snap of his fingers, 10 of his crewmembers jumped out of nowhere.
The Ghost Warriors battled valiantly against Redlink’s crew, and in the end, only Red, the commander, and 4 Ghost Warriors were left standing, with the pirate backed into a corner. “Any last words Red?” “Yea. SUCK IT,” the pirate said, as with a clap of his hands, disappeared into thin air. “NUUU” the Commander yelled. The Ghost Warriors progressed into the King’s Room. Jelloman sat in his chair, waiting patiently for the warriors to step up. “So, this is it? Just a worthless commander and 4 other members to defeat me? HAHAHAHAHA. You will all perish….heh. Now, take THIS!”

King Jelloman had his army of Gelatin circle the troops. There was no way the warriors could defeat them alone! But then, unexpectedly, Red the pirate appeared outside of the circle, grabbed a sword from the wall, and started to slash the gelatins. “Okay, we both keel king, the we split money, K?” “YESH” the Commander proclaimed. So after the Warriors and Red defeated the gelatin creatures, the King said, “Yikes…uh, I gtg. Be right back…”, and ran. However he was too slow for Red, who threw his sword at the King and killed him immediately. “Heh, I’m pretty epic, amirite?” Red said. Yoshi Boo said “Yep, pretty epic…”, and decapitated Redlink from behind with his sword. “…for a sucker.”
The Ghost Warriors left the castle and looked out onto the sunset. “I love a happy ending….wha?” Three people had ran out of the building with angry faces. Simultaneously, they said, “We are the 1337 BROTHERS. Our mission is to avenge the King, which we shall do NOW.” “I am Ace, the master magician!” Ace threw out a deck of cards which sliced one of Yoshi Boo’s troops’ legs off. “Now PERISH BOI!”, he said as he jumped at Yoshi Boo. One of the warriors then jabbed him with a spear. “No…but I will not die without CURSING YOO!” As Ace began to melt, a dark shadow was cast over the warrior. His body and appendages became squiggly lines and his face became a troll face. He merrily danced into the sunset, shouting, “U MAD BRO?” repeatedly.

“I am Avo, the master of music!” Avo took out a guitar and bashed a Ghost Warrior in the head. The Commander retaliated by slashing his arms off. “WTF? WHY YOU” Avo said as he grabbed the guitar with his teeth, and threw it at the Commander, who was hit by it, then crushed Avo’s skull with it. “You will pay for that,” the third brother exclaimed. “I am Azn…and I’m Asian.” “Oh no…NO!” The commander screamed. Instantly, one of the brothers stared at Azn, who exploded at the sight of awesome he had just experienced. Azn jumped on Yoshi Boo. “Prepare to die, fool. You wish you had never been bo-” Azn had been stabbed the remaining Ghost Warrior. “Im…possible…agh…”. All was calm again.
“Finally,” the Commander said. “Let’s go home.” So with the Gelatin Kingdom at peace, the two Ghost Warriors headed back home, with the world in balance again.

Which was the best? :X

STORY 34. My First Story. Lolz

Spoiler: show

Now This was my first story on these forums. No one read them XD But i decided to put all chapters here So you guys can be entertained for a short period of time. WARNING: INCLUDES LOTS OF SWEARS. But you don't care

Chapter 1: Not everything is pretty and nice

In the world of NINSONYMICROVILLE, live many unique and fun characters. LITERALLY. From the world of Hyrule, to the Kingdom of Mushooms, to the amazing land of Dream Land. Everyone here lives in peace and all are Happy to be together. WHAT A LOAD OF ♥♥♥♥. There is a war going on between NINSONYMICROVILLE and the D.I.C.K.S. Dark Intelligent Captains of Kicking ♥♥♥♥. Many citizens have died and have no more families. All you see is blood dripping from walls and the skulls of the weak hanging from their homes. This war has been going on for a LOOOOOONG time. 45 minutes. There are only 25 heroes who can stop this war and defeat the D.I.C.K.S. But they are nowhere to be found and time is running out. The leaders of D.I.C.K.S are dangerous and rude. They don’t TIP!! Each Leader is the arch enemy of every hero. They are tired of always being treated with no respect and always getting their asses kicked. So they decided all to Team up and destroy all the 15 heroes to rule NINSONYMICROVILLE! The enemy of the Fat Italian Plumber Mario is the King of Koopas BOWSER. Even though Koopas are retarded and always fall of cliffs, this Ruthless Gigantic FAT dinosaur thing won’t give a ♥♥♥♥ about eating your head or lighting your family on fire. The enemy of the great hero of time Link is the Holder of the Triforce of Power GANONDORF! He has burned down more than 30 towns to seek the Triforce of wisdom and courage. He has killed over 3000 innocent Hyrulians. HE will not stop to make the world his own Playtoy. He is one wicked, menacing, UGLY dude who will use your guts as a Welcome Home mat. The D.I.C.K.S are getting closer to the center of NINSONYMICROVILLE and will kill everyone who stands in their nasty ways. Where are these heroes you ask? Well they are all busy training to stop these ♥♥♥♥♥. The D.I.C.K.S already destroyed more than 64% of NINSONYMICROVILLE and killed over 10000 citizens. So much pressure is on these 25 heroes and they will not give up until this war is over. But don’t worry reader... YEAH IM TALKING TO YOU… There is one tough 16yr old elf that is training and definitely NOT relaxing in the west part of Hyrule. This hero is named LINK THE HERO OF TIME!
TO BE CONTINUED.

Chapter 2: The Hero of Time... And kicking yo ♥♥♥

The Great hero Link was in the forest lying on a stump. He was in the middle of the Kokiri forest listening to the peacefulness of this sanctuary. There were birds singing, kids dancing, and the amazing Saria playing her song on the ocarina that echoed throughout the woods. Link was relaxing after defeating an ambush of Tek-Tites, Stalfos, and Re-deads. Those zombie ♥♥♥♥ are scary as hell! Link was whistling to Saria´s tune and his arms behind his head. Anyways Link was with his pal Midna. After returning to the Twilight Zone to be the Twilight Princess, everything was fine. She was not needed and felt like going back to Link. She used all her powers to repair the mirror and return to Hyrule. But in doing she returned to her Imp Self. Now she hangs out with Link helping him with the war against the D.I.C.K.S. Then a noise came from one of the many bushes in the forest. With his eagle elf hearing Link Stood up from the stump and pulled out slowly his Master Sword. He raised his shield and went toward the Bush. Everyone was quiet except from the rustle of the bush. Then Link yelled and sliced his Master Sword at the Bush. Out came a bloody and dead Octorok. Link gave a smirk and went back to relax until he was hit in the back of his head by a giant club! Link went flying toward a tree and smashed his face against it. He was full of blood but got enough strength to turn around and see what ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ did that to him. It was a giant Moblin. The Moblin smashed his club at the ground and an earthquake occurred killing all the children that were dancing happily. Link dodged and pulled out his bow and arrow and launched a deadly fire arrow directly at the Moblins fat ♥♥♥♥ face. He fell backwards with a loud roar. Then Link slashed his stomach repeatedly until it died. Saria was crying on the stump Link was on for the kids that were horribly killed. Link went to the crack in the middle of the forest to see 3 children bodies all separated and their face crushed. They had no eyes and they were all missing their arms and legs. Then out of nowhere came out two Wolfos. They howled and began to charge at Saria. “Link!! Let’s show these asses how a REAL wolf fights!” yelled Midna as she began charging to make Link into his animal form. Link Nodded and transformed into Wolf Link. He then charged with anger in his eyes and grabbed one of the Wolfos by the neck and snapped it. He then clawed at his eyes and Bite his stomach. He ripped out his Flesh until it died with a low howl. The other Wolfos was snapping on Saria’s Body and Link Jumped on its back and began biting with so much strength that he could have killed a Mammoth with such power in his teeth. The wolfos Howled and started to Claw at Link. Link hopped back and head-butted the Wolfos into a tree as hard as he could. As it collided toward the tree Link started to claw and bite his face and stomach until it was enough. The Wolfos began to Howl loudly and die every second it breathed. After it was dead Midna returned Link to his normal form as he ran towards Saria to see if she was Ok. Her Face was cut open and was missing an eye. Her stomach was severely cut wide open and blood came out every time she breathed. She only had enough power to say these last words. “Link, Please kill Ganon...” She then passed away in Link´s Arms and he yelled so loud that all the birds in the forest Left him in peace. Midna came over and put herself on top of Links left shoulder. “Let’s go Hero. We are going to kill that pig ♥♥♥♥” Link stood up, his eyes red and face full of tears. He put the master sword back in its Sheath and Walked away slowly towards the Noise of destruction and the cries of the Innocent. He walked slowly because cool guys do that. Link will not stop until Ganon is dead and has his blood on his Hands. As Link continued his Adventure towards NINSONYMICROVILLE another hero was not having fun either. In the Mushroom Kingdom was a hero no one would forget. This Italian Plumber is busy stopping an Invasion. Mario…. TO BE CONTINUED.


Chapter 3: A Horrible Betrayal

Before the War even Started, Mario was outside of The Mushroom Castle training to defeat Bowser in case The D.I.C.K.S arrived. Peach was inside her Castle with Princess Daisy talking about plans in case Bowser does show up. Luigi was also training with Mario. Luigi never got as much as respect as Mario did and he was angry about it. But there was no time to be angry, he had to train to Jump higher, run faster, think better, and kick the ♥♥♥♥ out of Bowser´s army. Also helping in the war was Princess Rosalina and her Luma army. After saving the Galaxy twice Rosalina decided to help Mario after all he´s been through. The Lumas are no longer pathetic and weak, No they are now unbreakable ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who will kill anyone who is helping the D.I.C.K.S. Even your own MOTHER. “Mario, I sense a disturbance in the sky” said Rosalina with a sense of fright. “Don’t worry Rosa, Luigi and I will take care of ♥♥♥♥ right Luigi!?” “Yeah... I guess” Luigi said not caring. Then in the far distance a giant Portal opened up. Hundreds and hundreds of Bowser ships came out of the Portal. As everyone saw the Ships, they got into position to defeat Bowser and his menacing fleet. “TO YOUR BATTLE STATIONS!!!” Yelled Peach from her castle. Rosalina went to her Station on top of the Castle and summoned all the Lumas there to protect the castle. All the Toads were carrying spears and shields to kill all Goombas and Koopas. Mario and Luigi ran towards the Fleet and were ready for anything. Then with a big surprise Bowser came out from the Biggest ship there with a picture of his ugly face on it and yelled “All of you worthless ♥♥♥♥ are going to die and you can’t stop me from ruling NINSONYMICROVILLE!!!!” Then 10 ships landed and out of the ship came out Goombas, Koopas, Bob-ombs, and Shyguys all equipped with GUNS!! Everyone could not believe it where the ♥♥♥♥ did they get GUNS!? Mario and Luigi did not believe it but were so shocked they stood 10 inches away from the first ship. “Are you surprised Mario!? You are wondering where we got guns. Well here is an easy explanation… Remember that time machine that feeble Professor E. Gad built? Well I sent my army after him and he built me a new one. I went to the future and got these beauties. Your useless spears won’t stand a chance against my Guns. WUAHAHAHA.” “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! This castle is protected from every spot and no one could get it!” “That’s why we had an INSIDE help!” “No… But who?” Before Mario could even finish that sentence Luigi Hit Mario in the back of the head that he was knocked out. Mario was unconscious for about 10 minutes and when he opened his eyes he could not believe what he was seeing. On Bowser´s ship was Bowser AND Luigi Laughing at the chaos happening in the Mushroom Kingdom. Toads were dying every second. Their heads exploding, blood splattering everywhere. The Castle was on fire. Rosalina was badly wounded and bleeding from her left arm after being shot by a Koopa. Mario could not stand up his head was still in a lot of pain. All he could do is lie down and taste the grass full of blood of his friends. Then 4 Lumas came and carried Mario to Rosa´s space station. She was being healed by the Lumas. There were only 10 left the rest were killed. Mario could not believe that his OWN brother would work for Bowser. “Mario… We have to leave this place NOW! We need to go into space and rest until we figure out a plan.” Rosalina screamed. Mario could only hear a little of what she said because it was being blocked by the noise of gun shots and the screams of the Toads. “But… Princess... Peach…” It hurt for Mario to talk even say one word. “I’m sorry but there is no way in helping her or Princess Daisy. We are leaving now and that’s final!” Mario tried to disagree but it was too late. The station started up and they left to Space. All Mario could see was the castle being blown up and everyone being killed. “Run you Coward!! I will find you and kill you MARIO!” yelled Bowser as he laughed some more. Rosalina, Mario, and the 10 remaining Lumas were somewhere in Space. Safe... for now. While Mario is being healed, a Lombax and his Robot friend are relaxing somewhere in Metropolis. These two heroes have saved 4 Galaxies and are ready to save a new one. Their names are RATCHET AND CLANK. TO BE CONTINUED…


Chapter 4: Back from the dead…

“Crap...Crap…Crap…” Ratchet said with sure bore in his voice. He was lying on Clank´s Sofa in his Apartment in Metropolis. He was searching for good channels in Clank´s HD halo Vid plasma TV. Clank was taking a shower after them battling an army of 100 alien space pirate lizard demons. Yeah… They badass. “Do YOU have ship insurance?!... Are you tired of the same old boring guns?... How to make your Di” There was nothing really good on TV and this was making Ratchet pissed off. “Damn it Clank lets go already! I want to go visit Sasha already.” Sasha was the captain of the Starship Phoenix. Her Father was the president of the Solana Galaxy. The Solana Galaxy is where Ratchet was born. His Home planet was Veldin. “Ratchet calm down… Sasha can wait you know. I’m not going outside all dirty. I’m almost done.” Yelled Clank from the shower. Ratchet just sighed and continued to search for something on TV. Then Ratchet found something that he did not want to see. “Hello this is Bell of Channel 7 news and we are in the center of NINSONYMICROVILLE. It is in complete chaos and everyone is panicking. It is going to be taken over by a team of dangerous and powerful villains. They call themselves D.I.C.K.S. Over 300 cities and 10000 citizens of this once peaceful place have been burned to crisps. They are only minutes away from reaching the center and take over NINSONYMICROVILLE. Please heroes if you are out there we need you!” After she said those words a robot ninja came and stabbed her right through her chest. Then the channel went offline. “No… CLANK!! Hurry the hell up. We are going to Veldin NOW!!” shouted Ratchet as he picked up his guns and wrench. “Okay I’m done, now what’s going on?” questioned Clank as he came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his head and body. “NINSONYMICROVILLE is going to be taken over by these people called D.I.C.K.S! We need to go to Veldin and see if my planet is safe.” Then ratchet grabbed Clank and put his on his back. Ratchet put on his grind shoes and went outside to ride the rails toward his ship. As he jumped on the rails he was appalled to see what was going on. The whole city was on fire, buildings falling, ships shooting their guns at the citizens. Then a Black and white ship came towards Ratchet as he was still grinding. The ship started to shoot its machine guns at Ratchet. Ratchet jumped and avoided all Bullets until he reached his ship. He jumped of the rails and pulled out his Devastator. He locked onto the Ship and pressed the trigger. The ship blew up and fell to the bottom of the city where it joined the ruble of the buildings and the bodies of the people here. As Ratchet put away his Devastator he saw something he could not keep in faith after everything he saw. To the left of him was a GIANT BLUE HAIRY PROTOPET! “HOW!? We destroyed their factory! Where did that son of a ♥♥♥♥♥ come from?” Ratchet yelled in disbelief. If you are a noob and not played Ratchet and Clank then a company called Megacorp started making these creatures called Protopets. They looked cute but something went wrong and they started killing people. A man by the name of Abercrombie Fizzwidget was the Chief Executive officer of this Corporation which was in the Bogon Galaxy. Ratchet and Clank then destroyer their factory and restored peace to the Galaxy. Or so they thought... “I do not know... This is something I can’t figure out. And I’m the smart one!” As Clank finished his sentence to the right of Ratchet was ANOTHER surprise that almost made Ratchet go wild. It was an army of Robot Tyrahnoids! “What the hell is going on!? Where are all these defeated asses coming from?” Tyrahnoids were aliens that came to destroy the Solana Galaxy. Their Leader was the Nefarious DOCTOR NEFARIOUS! He hated squishy beings and decided to make a Machine called the Biobliterator that turned every person it touched into a robot. Ratchet stopped Nefarious or again so they thought… “Ratchet we need to go to planet Veldin. We can’t stop two big threats at once. We need some help.” Clank told Ratchet. Ratchet nodded and got into his ship. He entered the coordinates to his planet Veldin and the ship started up. As he prepared to leave he saw Clank´s building get blown up. “Damn that was close!” Ratchet yelled as they left the Planet Kerwan. While in space going to his Planet, he got a vid message on his little TV screen in his ship. “Who is it?” asked Ratchet. “It’s QUARK?” Clank said surprised. “What the hell does he want now?” Ratchet asked as he turned on the Holo mini TV. As it turned on it showed a pathetic and scared Captain Quark. “Hey little Lombax and robot friends” Quark said with fear in his voice. “What do you want Quark!?” Ratchet yelled with anger in his. “Nothing… You know... THAT THE WHOLE ENTIRE GALAXY IS GOING TO BE DESTROYED AGHGHGHGAHAGHGAHA!!” Quark yelled like a little girl while running around. “Calm down you big pussy... We are going to planet Veldin and going to get some help. We won’t let Dr. Nefarious win this war.” “Ratchet is right. There is no way we are going to let NINSONYMICROVILLE be taken over by some ♥♥♥♥♥.” Clank said proudly. “Ratchet you don’t understand… Someone is back from the dead… I don’t know how but he is BACK! It’s...” Before Quark could finish his sentence a group of Guard Bots broke through the door of Quarks House and shot him right in the face. Then the signal went away. “Holy ♥♥♥♥…” Ratchet whispered quietly. “There is no time to be sad for Quark, we need to reach Veldin Now!!” Clank said with a little sadness in his voice. Ratchet nodded as they turbo speeded toward Veldin. “I can’t wait to see my Planet… It’s been a while.” Then after Ratchet finished his sentence his Jaw dropped and he shook his head at what he is seeing right now. “No…. NO!!!!!” Ratchet pressed the button to make the ship go faster. What Ratchet was seeing was not easy for anyone to see. It was his Planet… Going to be destroyed… By a Robot Drek. While Ratchet is going to stop Drek another hero is in trouble as well. Not everything is easy for these Heroes. A brave and bold fox and his team of somewhat intelligent friends are dealing with a lot of enemies. We go to the team of STAR FOX.
TO BE CONTINUED…

Chapter 5: An Unusual Team

The Star Fox team was in space doing some Patrol. This team consists of 4 intelligent, brave, bold, and heroic characters that will save anyone in need. Fox McCloud is the leader of the team and the most badass one. Falco Lombardi is the cocky bird who likes seeing explosions. Slippy Toad is the intelligent one of the team and his job is to invent. ALSO HE IS ONE ANNOYING DOUCH WAD. Then there comes Krystal. She is the calm and mysterious one of the team and the one who is in love with Fox. Their relationship is a confusing and sad one. Now that you know the team lets go back to the story. The team was doing some space patrol after hearing the news about NINSONYMICROVILLE going to get destroyed by the D.I.C.K.S. After 20 minutes of searching for enemies, they gave up and went back to the Star Fox´s mother ship, the Great Fox. “That was a waste of time…” said Falco angrily. “It does not matter Falco, We can’t be too careful. If we turn our backs for at least 1 second we could be ambushed and then NINSONYMICROVILLE will no longer exist.” Fox told Falco. “Yeah Falco you have to listen to Fox he IS the leader and he knows what he is doing. You just can’t give up so fast!” exclaimed the annoying douche... I mean Slippy. Falco just sighed and kept on walking to the control room where Rob 64 was waiting for them. Rob is the robotic operator of the Great Fox. He controls everything on the ship and provides the team with information and vehicles. He was built by James McCloud, the proud father of Fox. He is presumed dead last seen going into a black hole. Damn that’s crazy! “So nothing is out there huh?” asked Rob in his epic robot voice. “Nothing… This does not make sense at all! We got information stating someone saw an army of invaders heading towards NINSONYMICROVILLE!” yelled Fox while punching the wall. “Fox, please calm down. We will find those evil invaders and we WILL kill them” said Krystal in her soft and smoothing voice. As Fox was going to say something, a nearby planet blew up. “What the hell was THAT!?” yelled Falco. The team went to the front window of the control room and saw a ship shooting at a giant machine. “That Ship needs our help!” screamed Slippy. “Everyone to your ships!” ordered Fox as they ran towards their stations. They all powered their ships and followed fox toward the other ship that needed help. As they were getting closer they got stopped by an evil team of even MORE INTELLIGENT and dark people. The team´s name was… STAR WOLF. They are a team of mercenaries hired by Andross to eliminate Star Fox. “We meet again Star Fox” said Wolf O´ Donnell in his malevolent voice. Wolf is the leader and rival of Fox. All he wants is to kill Fox for his own personal reasons. Leon Powalski is the cold, calculating, and cunning chameleon of the team. His enemy is Falco. There once was a member called Pigma Dengar but Wolf expelled him from the team due to his incredible greed and distrustful nature. He tried to become stronger by controlling an alien army but fails and is destroyed. What a dumbass… The final member of Star Wolf is Panther Caroso. He thinks of himself as a ladies’ man and all he wants is to be together with Krystal. “What the hell do you want Wolf!?” yelled Fox. “Why so harsh? All I wanted to do is have a fun time with my best friend Fox.” “Get out of the way before we blast your ♥♥♥ Wolf!” screamed Falco as he is holding the trigger. “Stay out of this bird meat!” screamed Leon as he laughed at Falco. “Why you little...” “Falco not yet!” Fox commanded Falco. Falco grunted and decided not to shoot. “I bet YOU´RE the one who told us that false information about there being an invasion towards NINSONYMICROVILLE?” asked Fox with anger in his voice. “Why, you are really clever Foxy old boy.” Wolf said as to taunt Fox. “I bet you’re with the D.I.C.K.S too aren’t you!?” Fox yelled as losing his patience. “Oh heavens no... I would never be a part of a team who calls themselves D.I.C.K.S.” “Then why are you here Wolf?! Get out of my way, that ship needs our help!” Fox roared some more. “I was thinking of a how you say... a Truce?” When Wolf said that the whole Star Fox and Star Wolf team was in shock. “Is this some sort of trap Wolf? Because we aren’t buying your bull!” growled Fox. “This is in no way a trap Buddy. These D.I.C.K.S are causing mayhem and I work alone. What happens if they kill you Fox? That’s MY job. So after we put a stop to these D.I.C.K.S we shall return to being Enemies. What do you say?” asked Wolf slyly waiting for a response. Fox looked at his team and they all signaled him saying not to trust him. There was no other choice. “Fine…” said Fox not being sure of the decision he just made. “ Goody…” Wolf said happily. “But if you try to do something we won’t hesitate to end your life Wolf!” Fox proclaimed out loud. “You have my word.” “Ohh nice I get to spend some more time next to the beautiful Krystal” said Panther in his tender voice. “You stay away from me Panther! I already left you for Fox and im not going back!” yelled Krystal. Panther just laughed and kept on staring at her eyes. “Now that this is done Wolf, let’s go rescue that ship being attacked by some Machine” stated Fox. Wolf nodded as they all went towards the ship getting destroyed by the machine. The people inside that ship were Ratchet and Clank. Ratchet´s planet was destroyed by Drek and he was angry as hell. “You ♥♥♥♥!!! I’m going to kill you again!” Ratchet screamed so loud that even Star Fox and Star Wolf heard him. “Im guessing that planet was his Home” stated Slippy. “Wow that sucks…” whispered Falco. “ Come on team lets go help this Tiger thing and his robot pal” Fox said as they all rushed to help Ratchet and Clank. As Star fox and Star wolf go help Ratchet, a retired policeman is being chased by some flesh eating zombies. He is trapped and has nowhere to go. Will he survive? We don’t know. Well I do since I’m the writer  but really. We go to where Leon is surviving a zombie invasion.
TO BE CONTINUED…

Well There you have it. Yeah... I do not plan on continuing since not many people would understand the story. So yeah... : D

STORY 35. Remmy's Normal Night

Spoiler: show

Remmy is sleeping in his bed at night. Yeah that time where the sun go bye bye and ♥♥♥♥? Yeah that time. Anyways he was dreaming about Animes and Taco Bell when he heard a noise outside. With his Ninja like Reflexes he woke up and fell off his bed. Took him 21 minutes before finally reaching the floor. He got up dressed in his pink pajamas and went downstairs. He saw light coming from his fridge and instantly took out his shotgun from his pants. He aimed at the fridge then the figure’s head popped out. Remmy turned on the lights to see Jello holding a big chicken in his hands and a piece of ham hanging from his mouth. He stared at Remmy and Remmy stared at Jello. They stared at each other. FOR 87 YEARS. No Of Course Not.

Anyways Jello dropped the food and hauled ♥♥♥ dodging Remmy’s shot to the fridge. Jello ran through the kitchen going to the living room dropping everything he can. Why? Cause Jello is cool like that. He knocked over Remmy’s 52 inch Plasma and his fish tank. “Da hell Did My Fish do to you!?” Remmy yelled while shooting at Jello. Jello turned around, put on some shades and said “There’s Plenty of Fish in the Sea.” Remmy stood there and Jello stood there to. THEN OMFGWTFBBQ Jello turned into a jet and went through Remmy’s roof. Remmy just grunted and went back to his room. As he climbed up the 400 foot ladder to his bed he felt a hand grabbing him. He was pulled down and once again fell down to the floor. Which took him 21 minutes. He woke up to see Blab standing over him smiling wearing full blue and a hat made out of pickles. “The Hell?” Remmy asked and got up. “Remmy… It Is Time!!” Blab said and grabbed Remmy by his shirt. “Time for What?” Remmy asked scared. “YOU SHALL FIND OUT!” Blab yelled with glee then knocked out Remmy with a steel pole.

Remmy all of a sudden woke up in a room with purple colored walls. “What the…” Remmy started to say when OMFGWTFBBQ Blab came rushing through one of the doors riding a penguin. “Remmy! You failed your Mission! Get on Senior Puff Puffs and LET’S GO!” Blab yelled and grabbed Remmy. “WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥ IS GOING ON!?” Remmy screamed crying. “Look Remmy. President Sarah Palin knows what you’re up to! Our Organization is going to get exposed! Hurry up Senior Puff Puffs!” Blab ordered the Penguin slapping it. They were running down a long stretch of grass and it was night. “Okay…WAIT WHAT THE HELL? Sarah Palin? Organization? Who the hell calls a Penguin Senor Puff Puffs?!” Remmy blabbed… (Heh…) out these questions. “That’s not important. What is important is that we are reaching our destination! Quickly Jump on that flying cat pooping out rainbows!” Blab commanded and jumped off of the Penguin. Remmy did as what he was told and jumped on the cat. Then The Penguin fell off a cliff and blew up. Anyways As they were riding the cat Blab explained on what was going on. “We are part of an Organization called Mustard.

Our plan is to make the tastiest sammiches ever on this planet. But The President is allergic to awesomeness and wants to destroy our Organization. UNDERSTAND?” Blab looked at Remmy without blinking and started to sweat and hyperventilate. “Uhhh Some Questions…1. WTF ARE WE RIDING ON?! 2. Mustard? What does that stand for? 3. WHEN THE HELL DID I ACCEPT? 4. HOW IS SHE PRESIDENT?!” Blab looked at Remmy and shook his head. “Well Remmy… It’s Simple…Like...” “NYANYANNYANYANYANYAN” “STFU CAT!” Blab raged then took out a knife. He sliced Nyan Cat’s neck and then it blew up. They were falling from the sky and were swallowed by a Whale. “Anyways As I was saying…” “I WANNA BE A REAL BOY!” Blab and Remmy saw a wooden puppet thing walking towards them. It was smiling and holding a knife. “HOLY ♥♥♥♥! THE SPAWN OF SATAN! QUICKLY REMMY FIRE YOUR LAZUR!” Blab yelled running away. “What The Hell you talking abou-RAHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Remmy fired a giant laser directly at the puppet and it blew up. EXPLOSIONS ARE FUN!! Remmy covered his mouth and just started freaking out on what just happened. “WHAT THE HELL CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH?!” Remmy panicked flailing his arms everywhere. Blab came over to him and pimp slapped him. “Hold It Together man. Anyways As I was saying. Mustard stands for… and that’s what it stands for.” Remmy looked at Blab confused. “You didn’t say crap at all dude.” “Uh... I am pretty sure I did. You Just Deaf.” Blab smiled at Remmy and Remmy facepalmed.

“You accepted after you fought the giant evil walrus. Dude don’t you remember?” “I remember NO SUCH THING! Is this a dream?! This is weird as hell! I am in a whale for god’s sake!” Remmy got up and started to walk away when the whale started making noises. “Remmy enough play time! Get in the damn tank and get us out of here!” “WHAT ♥♥♥♥ TANK?!” Remmy looked everywhere. “Dude…That one right on top of you…” A Magical Tank appears above Remmy. “WHAT IS GOING ON!?” Remmy dodged the falling tank and Blab yelled SHOTGUN. Remmy got in and asked “ How the hell do I control this?” Blab simply laughed and stared at Him. “Remember when you fought Jesus?” “What The hell?! No I do not… I do not remember any of these actions!” “Of Course… You do not remember. BECAUSE JESUS AIN’T REAL.” Blab stares at the Reader. “Who are you staring at? And Sure Jesus is not real but a flying rainbow ♥♥♥♥ cat and a talking wooden puppet is real?” Remmy asked. “ENOUGH QUESTIONS. GET US OUT OF HERE!” Blab ordered and Remmy sighed. He looked at all the buttons and pressed the big red one. Of Course. ITS ALWAYS THE DAMN BIG RED ONE.

The Tank started to shake and then it blew up. Nah Just Kidding. It fired a giant bullet at the whale and the whale blew up. SO MUCH FUN EXPLOSIONS!! Anyways Remmy and Blab were launched 300 feet in the air. “I have no idea how this is all real. Did you drug me Blab?” Remmy asked while they were falling. “NAWW…Your Mother Did” Blab said while sitting in a chair drinking tea. “Wait What!? And how are you doing that?!” Remmy asked still confused as ever. “Doing What? Blab questioned and he was back to falling like Remmy. Remmy did not feel like figuring out what the hell was going on and he just hoped to some magic spirit that he will land safely. About 3 hours passed and they still don’t reach the ground.

“Why aren’t we landing yet?” Remmy thought and looked over at Blab who was sleeping. THENOMFGWTTBQQ Remmy crashed through a house and he was on the floor crying. He was covered in rubble and broken wooden planks. He looked up to see if Blab was there and he was not. “What the…” *DUHH!!* “Wtf was that Noise?” Remmy looked everywhere and saw only darkness. He got up, cleaned himself off and turned on the lights. He was shocked to see that he was in his room. “Oh My Juicy Pickles! My mother is going to kill me…Wait…Where the hell are my parents?!” He ran out of his room to see his house in the middle of a field. It was Night still but the Moon had a face. It wore a purple pimp feathery hat while smoking a pipe and had a gold chain. Its Eyes were red and it had an evil smile. As the Moon saw Remmy it laughed and fire erupted around it. Remmy then proceeded to piss himself and close the door. He turned around and ran straight down the hall way to his room.

He continued to run but could not reach the end. After 10 minutes of trying to he passed out on the floor and pissed himself again. *30 MINUTES LATER* He woke up tied to the fridge while wearing no shirt and his chest was covered in tomato sauce. “The fauk is going on here?! Also why the hell isn’t it day?!” Remmy yelled out these questions. Too bad no one cares and no one has an answer. OR DOES HE/SHE/IT?! A figure standing in the living room went closer to Remmy who panicked. You could say he PANIKed. The figure turned on the lights and Remmy gasped at who he saw! IT WAS…….*ADVERTISEMENT TIME* WHO’S THAT POKEMON!?--- (.)|(.)….ITS JIGGLYPUFF!!! *Back to Show or Story. THE GAME* Remmy freaked out and gasped at the FIGURE! IT WAS………*ADVERTISEMENT TIME* YOU WANT YOUR PE-*Alright ♥♥♥♥ this! Get your ♥♥♥ over here! Interrupting my Story! *Red then ends up beating up the Advertisement guy with a sack of Doorknobs and pees on him. Lights him on fire and slaps his corpse with a dirty fish. *Back to the Story Children!*

Alright…. Remmy gasps at the figure and shrieks! “Wow Wow… I don’t shriek! I am a MAN. And Holy Crap who are you!?” Remmy struggled while sweating and again pissing himself. “I am your maker now stfu and SHRIEK!” Red roared at Remmy.”EEEEEEEEEP” Remmy shrieked like a little girl scout who is full of helium. Then…Jello came out of the shadows holding a knife. “You! Why did you steal my food and kill my fish?!” Remmy yelled at Jello with so much hatred. Jello started laughing and stared at Remmy. He then cut him loose and threw him a white shirt. Remmy stared at him for a while and then decided to put on the shirt. “What is going on? And why was my chest covered in tomato sauce?” Remmy asked. “The Answer…IS DANCE!” Then the room started to light up and Jello started to get funky. Remmy took the knife and stabbed him in the face.

Remmy laughed like a maniac and then stood silent. He shrugged and went back to bed. He climbed up the ladder to be wrapped in his warm dreams when all of a sudden he heard heavy breathing. He opened his eyes to see Barn staring at him with his eyes wide open and saliva dripping from his mouth. “DA FUUUU!?” Remmy pushed Barn off and he jumped of the bed with the knife he had. He landed but he felt something was wrong. He looked around and he saw that he was outside of his house. His house was on fire because something happened I don’t know. “I just wanna go to sleep!!” He cried. Have you heard Remmy cry before? It’s Funny. You should. Go to his livestream and watch him cry like a little baby. Enough of that, let’s go back to the Story.

Barn was 50 feet away from Remmy holding a sword made of orphan tears. He wore a blue shirt with purple jeans and red shoes. His eyes were pure white and his hair was also white. His teeth were yellow. Nasty. Anyways He smiled at Remmy with those evil white eyes and started walking closer to him. “I am really scared right now. I don’t even have a weapon!” Remmy shrieked again and started running away. Oh but He does! Now… Let’s see how much of a good reader you are. Think about everything you just read and think of what weapon he has. I will give you some time. *Elevator Music* Alright done? Correct. He has the Shotgun in his pants. For those of you who forgot…You fail at life and have the memory skills of a coconut. Anyways… Remmy continued to run but remembered about the shotgun and instantly pulled it out. As he turned around he saw Barn flying in the air. Oh yeah he has wings and stuff. So Anyways Barn was swaying left to right dodging Remmy’s shots and flew rapidly towards him with his sword ready.

Remmy closed his eyes and waited for death when OMFGWTFBQQ he heard a terrible noise. He opened his eyes to see Barn the evil creature of Hell in the floor with a knife in his back. Remmy looked up to see…BLAB! “Blab! Thank you! You have saved my life! And…Why you pointing that gun at me?” Remmy stared at Blab not knowing wtf was going on. Blab had sunglasses, an army shirt and pants, while wearing a black jacket and a cowboy hat. He had a silver colt and a giant hammer on his back. “Poor Stupid Remmy…You did not figure out that I was the leader of the Shamwow Clan!” Blab laughed still pointing his Gun at Remmy. “I…I…Still have no idea wtf is going on ;.;” Remmy started backing away but Blab shot him in the left leg. Remmy yelled in pain and fell to the floor. “Let Me explain.” Blab said in a dark Morgan Freeman voice while smoking a cigarette. “You see…It was the Time when the floating goats took over the world. It was horrible times. Many People died and were sacrificed for the Goat God Venx. My Family…Was killed by the goat people. I was 7 at the time and planned revenge on the goats. I spent all my life training underground with survivors until I was strong enough to defeat them all. But before the goats were gone, their God had risen. They locked its soul into a Human Body and sent it far away. I have been tracking that human all my life, and now I have finally found him.” Blab walked over to Remmy and lifted his head with his gun.

“You Remmy…Are The GOAT GOD!!!” Remmy started to pull the trigger when he was jumped from behind. It was Barn who started clawing at Blab’s back. Remmy stood up still not knowing what was going on when OMFGWTFBQX2LIKEWTF his body started to make noises.
Horns came out of his head and his hands became giant red claws. He grew hair all over him and a badass goatee. GET IT?! GOATee?! He grew giant black wings and his feet became devil talons. His Eyes…OH MY HIS EYES! They turned Red and he started to breathe fire. The Transformation finally has been complete. Blab was fighting with Barn when suddenly Remmy roared which shook the earth. “Hairy Nipples on a Stick…He has returned!” Blab screamed in fear and aimed his colt at Remmy’s head. Barn ran quickly towards Blab and knocked the gun down. “Don’t hurt the master. The Master is finally here to rule over us.” Barn said in a weird voice. I mean seriously. His voice was like how some goblins talk. So like Blab was like “So…YOU work for Venx?! Heh…You shall be the first one to die!” Blab yelled and pulled out his giant Hammer. He charged at Barn and Barn charged with his orphan tear sword. Remmy just watched and laughed in a maniac voice of hell. So you probably thinking Why Barn attacked Remmy right? Okay… Well let’s ask him. YO! WEIRD ♥♥♥♥! Barn turned around and smiled. “Yeessss??” Barn said in a snake hissy voice. Why you attack Remmy or Venx whatever when he your master? “Well…Who Cares?” Barn said and continued to Fight Blab. He is right. Who the hell cares?

As Remmy the goat god watched them fight, he heard an annoying sound far away. He started to cry and cover his ears. Barn saw this and quickly went over to Remmy. But Blab stopped him and smashed his face with his Hammer. Barn went flying towards a tree that appeared there for some reason. They continued their battle and Remmy suffered. He turned around to see a man standing on a rock holding up a stereo. This Man you ask? Well Curious Reader. His Name? Well…They Call Him…STD. *Gets a Phone Call* Yeah? Really!? ShadowTheBowser? TheMaskedOne? OHH. Man I thought it was..Oh Okay. Big Mistake. Kthnxbye. *BACK TO STORY* They Call Him STB. He wore a pink shirt, pink pants, a MANLY pink headband and that’s right…..blue shoes. As weapons he had a giant lollipop on his back and a cat-launcher. The song that he was playing was none other than the worst song on the planet…Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic! At the Disco. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!??!-Yelled By Jello. Red/Me- Naw Jello Dude it was a joke man…Jello…JELLO NO!!

-----------------------------------------------------------Random Part of Story-------------------------------------------------
Jello came up to Red and betch slapped him. Red started to cry and Jello laughed. Also the battlefield you ask? They were on a skyscraper because I SAY SO BETCH SO STFU. Red wore full red and a red cap. His weapons are his trusty Dragon sword and a shotgun. Jello wore a full set of Hello Kitty (Hah this is my story noob!) and a Hello Kitty hat. His weapons are a Hello Kitty plastic sword and in his pocket he had bubblegum. HELLO KITTY BUBBLEGUM! “Seriously Dude you suck for making me wear this…” Jello angrily told Red. “Lolz I don’t know what you talking about…NOW DIE WEIRD ♥♥♥!” Red yelled his war yell and ran towards Jello. He sliced his sword at Jello and Jello ducked in time to kick Red in the leg. Red fell to the floor and Jello raised his sword to stab it directly in Red’s Face. Red saw the attack in time and kicked Jello in the BOLAS. Jello dropped his sword and rolled on the floor crying like a little girl. Red took out his shotgun and aimed it directly at Jello’s head. “Any last words Jello?” Red laughed in confidence. Cause he a badass . Anyways Jello looked up at Red and put on some shades. “Yeah…BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE ♥♥♥♥♥!” In a matter of seconds the building under them blew up and stuff. So like imagine a huge explosion If you can. Don’t stress yourself. So Like the building went down and Red went flying towards another building and Jello was not seen in the smoke. Red fell from the sky going 400MPH and saw the building under him. He quickly grabbed on the edge and tried Climbing up when he saw Jello in front of him smoking a pipe. A HELLO KITTY PIPE! “Jello…Like Bro…Don’t do it man!” Red plead and Jello simply laughed. He took out a rocket launcher and was about to the trigger when an annoying voice was heard. “Yeah Hi! I am the reader and I was gonna ask…How is Jello alive if he got shot in the face by Remmy? Jello simply blinked and Stared at Red who was smiling. “Good Catch Reader!” So then Jello got ran over by a train. Red got up and went back to tell the story. Hehehe…
-------------------------------------------------------BACK TO STORY KIDS--------------------------------------------------------

So STB put down the stereo and smiled at Remmy who was covering his ears. In a matter of seconds STB pulled out his Lollipop and charged towards the weakened Goat God. He was running so fast! The floor beneath him would crack in half as he ran over them. He was destined to kill the Goat God. He finally jumped into the air, pulled out his cat launcher, and shot at Remmy 400 cats. Remmy was instantly covered in cats scratching at his face and yelled in Pain. STB started to attack Remmy’s feet with his Lollipop but he fails so much that the treat got stuck in Remmy’s leg hair. Now he was weaponless…Remmy shook off all the cats and grabbed STB. He ripped him in half and threw him in the trashcan that appeared next to Remmy. He went back to see the fight when he could not believe his eyes. Blab was walking towards him with his hammer being dragged on the floor which was covered in blood. In the distance Barn was hanging from a tree with his head cut off. Dayum Blab you crazy.

“No…This pathetic human shall not kill the Goat God Venx!” Remmy said in a dark hellish voice. Blab just smiled and continued walking towards Remmy. THEN OMFGWTBBQLIKEORLYCOOKIEZ Venexis appeared behind Blab. He wore a black shirt with a bloody drawn heart on it, Green jeans, purple fingerless gloves and black shoes. As Weapons he had a broad sword and an Ethernet cable. Also the sword looks like this… http://codesmiths.com/shed/things/knives/broadsword.jpg. What? I don’t feel like describing so I posted a pic of it. Umadotherwriters? Anyways Ven put his sword right next to Blab’s neck and whispered in his ear like the 18yr old Pedo he is. “Hello…Blabby.” “Wow Like Really? Let me guess… You work for Venx?!” Blab said with hatred still struggling to get out of Ven’s awesome sword neck trap. “Actually No… I have no idea what the ♥♥♥♥ is that thing over there and what is going on. Red was just running out of ideas so he randomly dragged me into this story. I have no purpose whatsoever besides trying to kill you and winning. Maybe I will or maybe I won’t. Only Red can tell. Enough gibbergabbering! Let us fight to the death for no particular reason not provided by Red at this point and ignore the fact that there is a giant monster thing trying to destroy the world!” Ven kicked Blab in the back and Blab fell to the floor. He started to cry and went running back to his mother to cry about it. *AT BLAB’S HOUSE*

“And…And…Then he called me fat” Blab cried while eating ice cream from the bucket. Mrs. Blab came up to blab wearing a 1980’s Red wig and slapped him. “Now Boy… What I tell you about being a little wiener? You go back there and you kick him hard in his little grapes. YOU HEAR ME BOI? If I see you back here, I swear I will smash you in the head with your PS3! NOW GET BOI!” Blab’s Mom yelled and Blab did as what he was told. *AT THE BATTLEFIELD* Venx and Ven were playing Twister. THENOMFGWT-eh… Blab showed up being all confident and stuff when Ven shot 30 rockets at Blab and he died. Aw… “So…What Now? Ven asked. “Well Ven now that your work is done, you shall automatically die in a funny and random way because I have no use for you” Red/I said to Ven. Ven just shrugged and waited for his death. Venx went to sleep and everything was peaceful. NAH JK. Venx heard another noise coming from the sky and looked up. IT WAS A GIANT ICE CREAM CONE. And it landed directly on Ven.

Ven’s ghost form flew away from his dead body playing a violin. LOLWUT? Out of the Ice Cream cone came out a man that if you say his name in public, everyone who heard it will have their face combust into flames and their legs get shoved into their mouths while they poop themselves. Venx started to growl at the man coming out of the cone. He raised his claw and swiped at the man. He just easily jumped over it and threw a Popsicle directly at Venx’s head. He roared in pain and grabbed the cold treat and licked it. “BLUE-BLUE-BLUEBERRY!!!” Venx threw away his most hated flavored Popsicle and stared back at the man. He was laughing and stared at Venx directly into his eyes. The man wore an ice cream cone on his head and was covered in melted ice cream. This guy is one crazy mofo. Venx started to launch fire balls at the man who quickly slashed them away with his ice cream sword. I KNOW YOU WONDERING WHY IT NO MELTS SO STFU. In a flash the man took out a rocket and aimed it at Venx. “Cool down MOTHERTRUCKER!” yelled the man and shot a giant blast of blueberry ice-cream at Venx’s face! Remmy’s/Venx’s body blew up and all his organs flew like it was New Year’s.

The Man simply laughed until it was finally morning. Yes…After 4 minutes it was Morning. Poor Remmy was so close to seeing the sunrise but oh well life sucks so shut up about it. The ice cream started to melt off of the man and he took of his cone hat. He was walking like a baws and he finally whispered… “No…One…Smufudges with…four!” four ran through the land going to Remmy’s old house and pissed on its remains. He was enjoying life when all of a smufudging sudden a knife went through his back. He started to barf up ice cream and sprinkles. He then evaporated. The Man who killed four…was…none…only…than…dotdotdot… VENEXIS! “I Never Die you old fool…” Ven then spat on the spot where four was and also started to piss on the remains of Remmy’s old house. HAH! Then like a meteor fell on Ven and stuff and there’s a dancing walrus at the end… THE END…FOR NOW? YEAH GTFO IT’S THE END.

STORY 36. Remmy's Favorite Story

Spoiler: show

So the location is like a beach right? With water and sand. That’s it. What? That’s like what every beach has you stupid beach…Cwutididthar? Okay… So the place is at a beach and there’s like 400 half naked anime chicks there. Why you ask? Because Remmy enjoys this. A little bit too much but he does. So when all of a sudden Shanabigboobzaholi comes up to Shinanananaboobnanana and they start talking in Japanese. Do I understand wtf is going on? No I do not. But Remmy does. Cause he AZN. Anyways they start talking when all of a sudden a giant octopus pops out of the water and starts grabbing anime chicks by the ♥♥♥. Their big jiggling asses. Remmy likes… So also the Octopus is Asian too. So like for some reason all of the bras of the anime chicks comes off and they grow x2. Remmy this is for you. So then a dragon….A FEMALE DRAGON WITH BOOBS… comes and kills the octopus. Then they all lived happily ever after in the boob mansion. THE END : D THE BIG BOOBY END.

STORY 37. The Canadian French War. Origins of My Name.

Spoiler: show

1873... The war in France just began and I was just a young cadet. It was raining dogs and cats...People were bleeding to death and houses were on fire. The Canadians didn´t want to give up. They wanted the crystal... But i couldn´t let them have it. It was pure life...The Crystal. No one wanted to give it to the Canadians. I was holding my sniper closely at their headquarters and saw the Captain. The oh so popular captain...VENEXIS. I hated him so much...He caused so much pain to our people. I wanted revenge. I held my breath and scoped his ugly face. As i was going to pull the trigger...A loud boom was heard from behind. TANKS. Of course. Pathetic Canadians... We were out runned by tanks and I was taken to a prison cell. I was tied up with two other people... Chau and Jello...

Chau was a 16 yr old American who was drafted by the US army. They didn´t like his attitude so they sent him our way. Great... Another noob. Jello was a 15 yr old Indian...From India. A hoosier you might say. Both of them smelled like piss and had long black hair covering their faces. Chau was more built than the shy Jello. I walked over to him and he just moved away from me. Chau just chuckled... I asked him what were they planning to do with us in this dark damp prison cell. He continued to laugh more and Jello started to moan. Great Day it was... We heard our cell door open and two guards grabbed Chau and Jello. They took them away and I was happy. Finally some peace. I stayed there alone for a while when i heard a whisper. It came from outside my small cell window. It was Chau... The two guards were frenchies. Nice plan. Simple...But Nice. He told me they had backup coming up. I sat there alone and waited...

I waited hours in that crappy cell room. I was starting to think that all hop ewas lost when all of a sudden the alarms started to ring. I quickly stood up and from my window a pistol was thrown.¨Good Luck¨ Chau told me. I smiled and waited for guards to come for me. They opened the cell doors and in an instant shot both of them in the head. Hehe...Fail Canadians. I ran out the cell door and took the keys from the guard. I freed everyone there and we were armed. The blood i saw... I loved it. The color RED. It was amazing. I felt a rush from all the blood spewing all over me. Crazy you may say. I say whatever. We left the prison and saw our whole army there. Chau and Jello standing on top of a tank. Jello came up to me to take me back to their base when he was shot. In front of me. His head was blown in half in front of my eyes. The blood from him didn´t make me happy...It made me mad. Everyone else started to take their place and I ran back into the prison. I knew it was Ven who did that. I will have his blood...

I ran through the back of the prison and saw some Canadian Trucks. Perfect. I got in and started the engine. Broke through the wall of the prison and drove to their base. I would die by killing Ven. My perfect and final wish. I drove through the dark forests and I was in full rage mode. In the distance I saw their base and Ven outside with a sniper in his hands. He was smoking a pipe and laughing with his Friends. Damn Canadians make me sick! I saw him enter the big fortress doors and in an instant 20 guards lined up in front of the doors. I came here without any weapons nor plan. I knew i would die but Happy knowing i killed Ven. I slowly walked over to one of their many trucks and checked the inside for guns. One rocket launcher is what I found and needed. I aimed it closely at the big doors and pressed the trigger. Bodies...Bodies everywhere flying. Actually...PIECES. The doors were broken down and no guard was left. Perfect so far i thought. I ran away from the trucks and ran to the bodies. Picked up two pistols, a knife, and a couple of grenades. I saw the blood of the men and smiled. RED was a perfect color for me.

I entered through the smoke and saw a long hallway. A long red carpet going down the hall and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. I walked down the hall into a huge room. Stairs in front of me and two passeges to the left and right. I didn´t know which way to go so I thought up the stairs. As i started to climb them I heard voices. I turned around to see two canadians pointing their guns at me. They gave me three seconds to drop my things. I did...But as they put away their guns i grabbed a pistol and shot them both in the leg. I ran towards one and pistol whipped him in the head. The other one was begging for me not to kill him. His name was SGT. SMIC. I didn´t care... Another canadian to me. I took out my knife and held it against his neck. Told him to told me where Ven was. He was crying and everything he said wasn´t understandable. I got bored and slit his name. Pathetic and useless Canadians... I continued up the stairs to the sound of laughter. HIS laughter i thought. I ran down the hall towards a big door blocking a lit room. A wooden door...Easily to be broken down.

I took a deep breathe and took out a grenade. I prepared it for a big boom. I kicked down the door and threw it in the room. I crouched down behind the wall and covered my ears. I waited 20 seconds and entered the room. Everyone in there was dead...But not a single one was Ven. I looked out the window of the room and saw him escaping! I quickly picked up a sniper from one of the guards and aimed it like old times. At his ugly canadian head. In an instant he got a feeling to turn around and saw me. He pulled out his pistol... And he fired. So did I. I saw him fall down and then I felt the bullet in my chest. I fell to the floor on my back and now I had my own blood on my hands. I closed my eyes and waited. I was smiling now. Finally...The war may be over. So then ♥♥♥♥ happened and i got revived by a great fairy from Zelda and I was like OMFGNOWAI TY! So then i named my self Link to show thanks. Then i thought about the blood and named myself RedLink. That's why my name is like that. KTHNXBYE. THE END.

STORY 38. Red and Ven's Skype story of WTFness.

Spoiler: show

This is what happens when you're bored on Skype....

[2:03:13 PM] RedVinylDash: The year was 1827 and Ven was doing stuff that is important but I don't care. He is now reading this thinking it's a story but what he doesn't know that it's actually a distraction. But don't tell him yet, major spoilers. So Ven ended up shooting the president of Australia, (do they have one? I don't know) and he stole the ancient scrolls of distraction.

[2:05:38 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: PRetty sure they do. What Red was unaware of was the fact that the important business I was doing was indeed killing the president of Australia. Why? Because he possesses a microchip that when held up to the sun on the 14th of August every leap year, a beam of light would refract onto the entrance of a cave somewhere near the base of Mount Everest leading the the Sceptre of Unimaginable Destiny

[2:06:20 PM] RedVinylDash: (What in the ♥♥♥♥ Ven? xDxDxD )

[2:07:03 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: THE SCROLLS OF DISTRACTION WERE WHERE HE HID THE MICROCHIPS LOCATION OR SOMETHING

[2:07:06 PM] RedVinylDash: (Are you high? xD )

[2:07:32 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: So I hopped in my biplane, because it's 1827, and killed him. In Australia. And stole the distraction scrolls.

[2:09:06 PM] RedVinylDash: As Ven ran away with the scrolls he was abducted by Chau who also knew about the scrolls and wanted them for himself. But what CHAU doesn't know is that Ven knows but he doesn't know that I know that Chau doesn't know so I knew he would know of me knowing which is why I told him i didn't know so he would know i didn't so then I killed Chau. Ven continued his journey, where? Don't know ask him, Hey Ven where are you going?

[2:13:31 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: To the nearest Starbucks of course. I made the mistake of reading the distraction scrolls, and suddenly could not resist the desire to spend a couple of hours idly chatting in a coffee shop when there's world domination to do. So eight hours later and three large coffees, I really had to urinate over the Atlantic ocean, (no idea how I got there, but whatever) but biplanes don't have toilets and also Chau suddenly started dogfighting with me because you didn't do a good enough job of killing him. Literally throwing dogs. So it was a pretty lame fight after he ran out.

[2:16:34 PM] RedVinylDash: I see. I also see you shooting string cheese out of the tip of your fingers and everyone knows Chau is allergic to cheese so then he blew up. And if that isn't enough, an anvil made of elephants on fire fell on him too. Also, a nuke...Yeah he's dead. So now I switch into first person into this story. BRB!.......I'm back. I see Ven has defeated Chau but what he doesn't know once again is that Chau is actually Yuno and that I am Chau...Or wait no nevermind. Chau is screwed and Yuno is still out there. I don't know why Yuno is in this story but she is, I can't control what happens...OR CAN I!? THIRD PERSON! So Red went towards Ven and pimp slapped him.

[2:19:05 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: A pimp slap at 18000 feet above an ocean typically causes bad things to happen, but no, I don't want to die yet. So I merely shrug it off and continue flying toward Mount Everest for a reason I've now completely forgotten, and enjoy a nice chat with Red (who's holding onto a wing for dear life) about ponies. And magic. And friendship. And how I hate all of the above.

[2:24:10 PM] RedVinylDash: Well...Ven has managed to hurt my feelings so I start to cry and talk about how he is a mean poopy head. For some reason I switched back to first person but who cares? Anyways, I left go of the wing and take out my ray gun shooting at the plane making it light on fire. As I fall into the I forgot ocean I see Ven spinning out of control towards an Island. Using my super sight I see that the insland has, "Science, females who do anything you want them to, and free video games." I could not let Ven have a nice life so I switch back to third person and make the Island a nightmare for him. Red summoned, "Milk(It makes his stomach cry), evil zombies wielding guns that shoots milk, and a cute puppy." Puppies are cute. : D

[2:27:02 PM] RedVinylDash: (Is Ven writing a novel?)

[2:27:37 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: I decide "fuq this" and wrench the storybook out of Red's hands as I careen toward an island of horrors. Quickly working, I take out my Blue Pen of Grammatical Precision and hastily edit most of the rest of the story. Suddenly I'm standing on the slope of Mount Everest holding a tiny black disc above my head as all sorts of warponies firing lasers approach from all directions, led by Red himself. I don't know how that happened, probably a spelling error or something. Damn you spelling.

[2:30:17 PM] RedVinylDash: My plan went according to plan...What? So anyways Ven is finally where he needed to go and I can't let him reach his goal which for some reason I have no idea what it is but if he has a goal to do then I shall KILL HIM!...or rather distract him. So I jump off of RainbowDash and take out my katana of friendship. "Are you ready to die Ven? I ask you because I need to go to the bathroom and I just wanted to know if you could wait a while longer?"

[2:33:59 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: "Yeah, sure, no problem." I answer, being the good friend Red taught me to be before attempting to send me to an island of horrors. "I can wait." So while Red is out relieving himself, I try to make the position of the light beam refracted from the microchip, only that's really hard to do when everything around you is covered in ice and snow. Using the Pen of Grammatical Precision, I edit the location to something more friendly, like a field of daisies, and the focused light sets the field on fire. Damn you too, science. But at least it revealed the entrance to the cave that holds the Sceptre of Unimaginable Density.
[2:34:32 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: *Jeopardy music plays*

[2:37:26 PM] RedVinylDash: I come back to see a field of daisies on fire and think to myself..."This is why I can't trust Ven alone with science...I wonder if Ven can hear my thoughts since they are being typed out anyways...I should stop this...Sometimes I smell my belly button..." I see Ven going towards the entrance and I...I...give the ♥♥♥♥ up. I don't care anymore, I'm like really tired and I haven't eaten anything at all. So using my unicorn magic I switch the setting to a Taco bell and ask Brando for a number 4. Oh also, it also teleported Ven here who was crying. What a noob.

[2:39:44 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: Well fine. Thanks to spelling mistakes the Sceptre of Unimaginable Density is actually pretty dense. After hours of fruitless effort I give up, crying because my dreams of ruling the planet had been crushed by one misplaced consonant. I wake up in a Taco Bell, still crying, and then the delicious smell of burritos makes everything better as we dance off into the sunset eating mexican food and being badass.

[2:43:05 PM] RedVinylDash: So as Ven and I dance while eating burritos we hear a grumbling noise. I turn around to see...To SEE.....TO SEE....Nothing at all. I turn back to Ven who was on the floor having a spasm attack because I accidently put poison in his Burrito. I didn't know Canadians were allergic to death >.> So then I pick Ven up and I put him on my pet Dragon named Festus who was always with us. Why didn't we use him instead of a stupid biplane? Because...The Game.

[2:44:20 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: And thus is was a happy ending for everyone. Except Chau, because he died. And brando, because he's got no more burritos. And me, because I'm allergic to death... So pretty much only Red had a happy ending. THE END~

[2:46:19 PM] RedVinylDash: But what Ven doesn't know is that all of this was in his mind. Ven is actually in Limbo so there is no real ending...The End...Or not. I don't even know anymore. All of this was just to distract Ven from Studying and I practically distracted myself from reading. So the moral of the story kids is that you shouldn't vote for Sarah Palin. THE END!

[2:47:19 PM] Kyle Fitzgerald: I JUST LOST THE GAME. THE VOTING GAME. BECAUSE I VOTED FOR SARAH PALIN. :O

[RedLink]

New Stories for you noobs...I mean lovable people to read. Which I love....SO MUCH...*Twitch* Yeah so get to reading

[*Emelia K. Fletcher]

When's the next time you're having a chat collab? I wanna join.

[RedLink]

I do not PLAN them. Like everything I do they are random. Since you live in China, you not gonna be on like some other users are. You just gotta be lucky and hope that when I am online and many people are to, I feel like making one. Patience Young One.

[RedLink]

Well added a new story...Kind Of...It was my first story about video games being combined to save the world. And Stuff..New Random Story Soon.

[Oranjui]

FINE I READ THEM ALL RED. hehehe. homophones. hehe.


They're good. Long, but good. 8/10
Mine are short. BUT THEY'RE BETTER TROLOLOL- *is shot*

[RedLink]

OH YEAH?! Well Whatever
But...But...I thought you loved it long. ._.
New Story soon. But it's long SO CRY ABOUT IT

[RedLink]

What is this? A new story?!!? IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!..........It is a long one so i hope you guys stay busy for 34 minutes until my new one... HAVE PHUN GUIS!!!