Se La Mina Sol

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Se La Mina Sol

Postby CaltonNofuru » July 13th, 2011, 11:54 pm

Okay you've found me, TrappedTime. I don't really care if you permaban me by id, though. I just want to let you know that whatever I DID do, it was most likely not even me. I've heard that I 'abused the reputation system'. But in truth I haven't even touched it since it came. Maybe someone is framing me...? I don't know. A permaban, in my opinion, is another word for 'we're letting you explore the world on your own now, shoo-shoo!'.
Whether I stay banned or you unban me is not up to me. I just want to let you know that I've had the time of my life on these forums and more. I love you all.
~TT


Even if you're spanish you wouldn't get the title ;)

OKAY! This story is going to be about- hold up. I'm not really going to tell you right then and there...

Chapter 0 - Scheisse

He couldn't get out. Her couldn't escape. There wasn't any escape until the time came. It was almost as if he was stuck in time out. Nezo, a 32 year old blonde man, was in a coma.

Just a few weeks ago Nezo was in the hospital working. He was lite but hardworking at all times. Everyone seemed to enjoy his presence, but no one bothered him. When he made a joke, though, barely anyone noticed. Could he already be in the coma?
Nezo was walking down an aisle when suddenly a woman dressed in all black took him by surprise. He didn't see it coming, unfortunately. 'What have I done? What's going on?' These questions scrambled through his mind to find an answer, but there was none.

When he woke up the next morning he was in a chair in a dark room with only one light above him. The woman took off her mask and Nezo was shocked. It was his manager. She had a smooth face, with a pinch of danger in it. "Look, whatever I did it wasn't me!" But she only turned her back to grab a syringe. She stabbed him with the needle and broke it off. Instantly Nezo fell unconscious.



So why did the manager put Nezo into a coma? He had done nothing wrong in his time working at the hospital. Yes, he might have made a few paperwork errors, but nothing major.

Sometimes you just have to accept things in life that aren't fair... sometimes it just doesn't fit right... sometimes people rebel...




So whaddya think? :D
*There's a hidden moral within this story, can you figure it out?*
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Re: Se La Mina Sol

Postby Avo » July 14th, 2011, 12:33 am

Pretty good for the start of a new story. It's pretty short and there are a few spelling mistakes but it has a good premise and you told it very well. It's hard to give a review for something so short but when more comes out I'll give a bigger review.

For now. 7/10 Good job! :)
Credit to Ridder for the awesome going-away avatar (:
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Re: Se La Mina Sol

Postby MessengerOfDreams » July 14th, 2011, 11:03 am

'AND THEY HAD SEX ALL NIGHT THE END' Abrupt endings FTW. Let this go down as the SINGLE LAMEST permabanned members' revenge plan ever! Have a nice one, TrappedTime! <3 MoD
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