Being Far From Home

[Magnen]

This is the story of fourteen-year old Elizabeth Moore, who's life was turned upside-down one day.
(What a generic description, Mag.)

I climb onto the bus and hear my classmates gossip around me.

That on its own would have been fine, only they were gossiping about me.
Someone sticks their foot out and I fall over; multiple students laugh.

"You'd think a prissy rich girl could keep her balance!" One boy snickers.

"She's just a dumb blonde, you know?" Another one says.

I get up and take a seat by myself in the far back of the bus.
It's going to be another long day.


(This excerpt is taken from the second page of the story, rather than from the very beginning)

Hi!
This is my second short story, and it is over twice the length of my first one.

Like before, I'll read pretty much any opinions you may have, I only ask that you be specific about what you dislike, and to please keep any spoilers inside of a spoiler tag.

Also, credit to Zunar for helping me to proofread and edit my original mess.

Anyway, here's the link:
Google Document for "Being Far From Home."

[Zunar]

Started out a bit slow, but once it hit page 17 and Kat got introduced, I was laughing my head off. I love that kind of snarky humor she has, definitely my favorite character. Overall I like it, though honestly I like a Memory's Shadow a bit more.

[Sethster]

I really enjoyed this, the way things are said and the actions make you want to stay until the very end.

SethsterToast

Sethster's Offical Rating: 9.8/10

[Magnen]

Thanks for the positive feedback!

[Harmless]

I love it.

Maybe a little less thinking/dialogue during the fight scenes though just so the action flow is consistent. Like for example, during the fight with Malarie's gang (2nd time around, in the streets).