My short stories
Posted: April 7th, 2016, 3:01 pmSo my Ven was telling me after he read my story that I should post it on the forum's so... Here it is!
PRESENTING...
A Hobo Story
As Hobo Joe, an overly-average hobo,peered through the holes in his cardboard box he zeppelins crossing the sky. The sky, which looked so much like the water that powered their machines, was unnaturally clear, Omit a few clouds. Seeing as he was awake Hobo Joe decided to get up and forage for a meal. Like a cat he emerge from his box headfirst, hat, head, beard, coat, legs and finally his bare feet. Fully emerged he walked across his alley to reach the garbage can, where he found a half-full can of beans. While eating his beans he looked out into the streets, not too busy yet, but not empty either. Soon the streets of london would be packed and busy. Steampunk london was a huge social center for new inventions. The streets were almost always packed by 9 am. As Hobo Joe finished his beans, he decided to head into town. After all he was in the market for a new box.
Heading towards the business district of the city he saw several places he could get a new box. Warehouses. Stores. Random alleys. But he wasn’t looking for just any old box, he needed a very specific style of box. Deciding he may need some help, he pulls out a pencil and a piece of paper and begins to write, N-E-E-D N-E-W B-O-X. Being a hobo joe didn’t have very much experience when it came to talking and prefered to use signs. To be honest he lost his voice many years ago! Now armed with his sign he set out again, few noticed him or his sign. No one had a box. After an hour of searching no one had a box and the streets were filling up fast. Things looked grim. Quickly losing hope he began to head home. As he was passing an alley he heard a voice.
“Hey,Hey Buddy! I heard you need a box, It true?”
Turning around he saw a shady character leaning against the alley wall, Hobo Joe began nodding his head vigorously.
“Well then you’ll probably need this!”
With that the shady character stepped aside to reveal a piece of paper stuck in a garbage can, Hobo Joe cocked his head, confused.
“This,” replied the shady character. “Is the map of destiny, It will lead you to the box of destiny!”,
“But.” He continued. “Only a true hobo can pull the map from the garbage!”
With little fanfare he walked up to the map and pulled it out easily, With that Hobo Joe set off towards his alley.
END OF PART I
Upon arriving at his alley he opened the map revealing a worn and tattered piece of paper. The path it showed was a short and not too dangerous. At the end of the path was the catacombs of the storage closet! He spent the rest of the day foraging and preparing for the day ahead.
Meanwhile in a certain shady alley a certain shady character was on the phone.
“Yeah boss, he just walked up and took it,”
“Tail him until I get there, I’ll deal with him personally,” Growled the voice through the phone. “I will have that Box”
Packed and ready, Hobo Joe was on his way early in the morning to the catacombs of the storage closet. In his hobo packed was some spoons, some food, his pencil and paper, and an extra-large water canteen. A few minutes later the catacombs came into view and hobo joe began to seriously questioning how nobody had found it yet. For there in the distance was storage closet in the middle of nowhere. As he approached the closet the world seemed to go silent, with each step the tension grew. His hands shook horribly as he reached for the doorknob. Upon grabbing the doorknob a jolt went up his arm and Hobo Joe wondered if it was magic. As he opened the door he saw that it was just an electrified doorknob trick. Magic. HAH! Inside the closet was just what you would expect, mops, brooms, buckets and sponges, Oh and that giant hole in the floor. Putting his life into fates hands. He jumped. The world went dark as he plummeted mile downward.
Hobo Joe woke when he hit the ground, looking around he saw a picture of an ancient society praising a box. Upon further inspection of the room he realized a pile of now crushed pile of box had saved his life. Now knowing that this was in the right spot he set off on the final stretch of his journey. Left, left, right, left, right, right, left; he soon lost track of all the turns he took, but it didn’t matter! Up ahead was a light and he just knew it was coming from the box! Taking a sharp left turn he came face to face with the box… and a giant cardboard golem. His training kicked in (If he ever had any) and he ran at the golem and… tripped. The contents of his hobo pack spilled out at the golems feet. Lucky for him he had an A+ Luck rating and his canteen broke at the golems feet. Effectively soaked the golem slowly began to disappear into a growing pile of cardboard slush. With the golem out of the way Hobo Joe felt his journey coming to an end. Approaching the box he felt as though this whole affair had been too easy. Realizing the glow wasn’t coming from the box but inside it, he ran too it. When he reached the box he realized it wasn’t the box of destiny! It was just a normal box with a note and a flashlight inside! The note read:
“Dear Hobo Joe, I realized that you were the only hobo who could reach the catacombs. So I set you on a quest for the box of destiny, so I could steal it at the last moment! Come to your alley if you wish to see the box again! Sincerely, Your hobo nemesis.”
A thousand questions passed through Hobo Joe's head. Who was his hobo nemesis? That crazy pizza guy you wanted to open a pizza place in his alley? How did his ‘nemesis’ pass him. That question was answered on the back of the note.
“P.S. Next time use the ladder to get into the catacombs of the storage closet. I got down and out of the catacombs in the time you were unconscious.”
With that Hobo Joe took off running to reach his alley to get the box back. An hour later he arrived at his alley to find Billy Bob, The ironically mustached hobo. Right beside Billy Bob was the copper colored, glowing box of destiny. Having known, before even entering the alley that a hobo duel was about to break out. He lunged for a spoon and a garbage can lid. Billy Bob grabbed a spoon and a handful of apple cores and began throwing. Hobo Joe raised the trash can lid as a shield. Most of the apples hit the lid and bounced off, but a few of them collected in the rim of the trash lid. Hobo Joe immediately pocketing the spoon and began throwing apples. Having no shield, Billy Bob got hit twice, one being an especially moldy apple connected with his head and exploded. Hobo Joe taking his chance raised his shield and charged at Billy Bob. Tackling him to the ground. Hobo Joe pulled out a spoon and began spoon slapping a now unconscious Billy Bob. A good five minutes stopped his attack and went over to inspect the box of destiny. Confirming that the box was the real thing, he entered the box. Upon entering the box he breathed his first word in many years.
“Wow”
The inside of the box was huge. In one corner boxes were stacked up to the roof, Beside them was a self-refilling garbage can. The rest of the box was filled with other basic hobo needs, including a mini-fridge and beans. Taking a good look around he exited the box to deal with Billy Bob.
In the spot where Billy Bob had previously been was a Billy Bob shaped imprint in the dirt. He was gone. But Hobo Joe had no intentions of going after him, he had enough adventures for one day, he had enough adventures for a week. Things were looking up for Hobo Joe, A new box. A new home. A new start. Just when things were wrapping up, the crazy pizza guy appeared.
“I’ll give you a hundred dollars for this lot.” He yelled.
Hobo Joe didn’t feel like using his new found voice to get rid of him… so he threw apples at him!
PRESENTING...
A Hobo Story
As Hobo Joe, an overly-average hobo,peered through the holes in his cardboard box he zeppelins crossing the sky. The sky, which looked so much like the water that powered their machines, was unnaturally clear, Omit a few clouds. Seeing as he was awake Hobo Joe decided to get up and forage for a meal. Like a cat he emerge from his box headfirst, hat, head, beard, coat, legs and finally his bare feet. Fully emerged he walked across his alley to reach the garbage can, where he found a half-full can of beans. While eating his beans he looked out into the streets, not too busy yet, but not empty either. Soon the streets of london would be packed and busy. Steampunk london was a huge social center for new inventions. The streets were almost always packed by 9 am. As Hobo Joe finished his beans, he decided to head into town. After all he was in the market for a new box.
Heading towards the business district of the city he saw several places he could get a new box. Warehouses. Stores. Random alleys. But he wasn’t looking for just any old box, he needed a very specific style of box. Deciding he may need some help, he pulls out a pencil and a piece of paper and begins to write, N-E-E-D N-E-W B-O-X. Being a hobo joe didn’t have very much experience when it came to talking and prefered to use signs. To be honest he lost his voice many years ago! Now armed with his sign he set out again, few noticed him or his sign. No one had a box. After an hour of searching no one had a box and the streets were filling up fast. Things looked grim. Quickly losing hope he began to head home. As he was passing an alley he heard a voice.
“Hey,Hey Buddy! I heard you need a box, It true?”
Turning around he saw a shady character leaning against the alley wall, Hobo Joe began nodding his head vigorously.
“Well then you’ll probably need this!”
With that the shady character stepped aside to reveal a piece of paper stuck in a garbage can, Hobo Joe cocked his head, confused.
“This,” replied the shady character. “Is the map of destiny, It will lead you to the box of destiny!”,
“But.” He continued. “Only a true hobo can pull the map from the garbage!”
With little fanfare he walked up to the map and pulled it out easily, With that Hobo Joe set off towards his alley.
END OF PART I
Upon arriving at his alley he opened the map revealing a worn and tattered piece of paper. The path it showed was a short and not too dangerous. At the end of the path was the catacombs of the storage closet! He spent the rest of the day foraging and preparing for the day ahead.
Meanwhile in a certain shady alley a certain shady character was on the phone.
“Yeah boss, he just walked up and took it,”
“Tail him until I get there, I’ll deal with him personally,” Growled the voice through the phone. “I will have that Box”
Packed and ready, Hobo Joe was on his way early in the morning to the catacombs of the storage closet. In his hobo packed was some spoons, some food, his pencil and paper, and an extra-large water canteen. A few minutes later the catacombs came into view and hobo joe began to seriously questioning how nobody had found it yet. For there in the distance was storage closet in the middle of nowhere. As he approached the closet the world seemed to go silent, with each step the tension grew. His hands shook horribly as he reached for the doorknob. Upon grabbing the doorknob a jolt went up his arm and Hobo Joe wondered if it was magic. As he opened the door he saw that it was just an electrified doorknob trick. Magic. HAH! Inside the closet was just what you would expect, mops, brooms, buckets and sponges, Oh and that giant hole in the floor. Putting his life into fates hands. He jumped. The world went dark as he plummeted mile downward.
Hobo Joe woke when he hit the ground, looking around he saw a picture of an ancient society praising a box. Upon further inspection of the room he realized a pile of now crushed pile of box had saved his life. Now knowing that this was in the right spot he set off on the final stretch of his journey. Left, left, right, left, right, right, left; he soon lost track of all the turns he took, but it didn’t matter! Up ahead was a light and he just knew it was coming from the box! Taking a sharp left turn he came face to face with the box… and a giant cardboard golem. His training kicked in (If he ever had any) and he ran at the golem and… tripped. The contents of his hobo pack spilled out at the golems feet. Lucky for him he had an A+ Luck rating and his canteen broke at the golems feet. Effectively soaked the golem slowly began to disappear into a growing pile of cardboard slush. With the golem out of the way Hobo Joe felt his journey coming to an end. Approaching the box he felt as though this whole affair had been too easy. Realizing the glow wasn’t coming from the box but inside it, he ran too it. When he reached the box he realized it wasn’t the box of destiny! It was just a normal box with a note and a flashlight inside! The note read:
“Dear Hobo Joe, I realized that you were the only hobo who could reach the catacombs. So I set you on a quest for the box of destiny, so I could steal it at the last moment! Come to your alley if you wish to see the box again! Sincerely, Your hobo nemesis.”
A thousand questions passed through Hobo Joe's head. Who was his hobo nemesis? That crazy pizza guy you wanted to open a pizza place in his alley? How did his ‘nemesis’ pass him. That question was answered on the back of the note.
“P.S. Next time use the ladder to get into the catacombs of the storage closet. I got down and out of the catacombs in the time you were unconscious.”
With that Hobo Joe took off running to reach his alley to get the box back. An hour later he arrived at his alley to find Billy Bob, The ironically mustached hobo. Right beside Billy Bob was the copper colored, glowing box of destiny. Having known, before even entering the alley that a hobo duel was about to break out. He lunged for a spoon and a garbage can lid. Billy Bob grabbed a spoon and a handful of apple cores and began throwing. Hobo Joe raised the trash can lid as a shield. Most of the apples hit the lid and bounced off, but a few of them collected in the rim of the trash lid. Hobo Joe immediately pocketing the spoon and began throwing apples. Having no shield, Billy Bob got hit twice, one being an especially moldy apple connected with his head and exploded. Hobo Joe taking his chance raised his shield and charged at Billy Bob. Tackling him to the ground. Hobo Joe pulled out a spoon and began spoon slapping a now unconscious Billy Bob. A good five minutes stopped his attack and went over to inspect the box of destiny. Confirming that the box was the real thing, he entered the box. Upon entering the box he breathed his first word in many years.
“Wow”
The inside of the box was huge. In one corner boxes were stacked up to the roof, Beside them was a self-refilling garbage can. The rest of the box was filled with other basic hobo needs, including a mini-fridge and beans. Taking a good look around he exited the box to deal with Billy Bob.
In the spot where Billy Bob had previously been was a Billy Bob shaped imprint in the dirt. He was gone. But Hobo Joe had no intentions of going after him, he had enough adventures for one day, he had enough adventures for a week. Things were looking up for Hobo Joe, A new box. A new home. A new start. Just when things were wrapping up, the crazy pizza guy appeared.
“I’ll give you a hundred dollars for this lot.” He yelled.
Hobo Joe didn’t feel like using his new found voice to get rid of him… so he threw apples at him!